Wild Innocence

“You didn't have to come after me,” Rachel said without turning.

“I wanted to come.”

Her pulse picked up its pace. “Why?”

He stepped closer, his expression unreadable.

“What do you want?” She was breathless as he came closer. She glanced toward the house, but everyone else had stayed inside.

“Must I say it?” he asked. “Or shall I show you?”

“Please ... I don't know what you want from me.”

“What I want and what I must not have are one and the same.”

His dark eyes glittered in the dim light. She found herself remembering the excitement of his kiss.

She swayed toward him. “Black Hawk.”

He took her into his arms. He murmured something in Ojibwa, and then he kissed her. Her head spun as the world rocked beneath her feet ....

Books by Candace McCarthy

All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.

Table of Contents

To my writer friends ...
for your friendship and support, and good humor.
What would I do without you?

 

Organ music filled the interior of the church as Rachel Dempsey began the long walk down the aisle to the altar. Today she was marrying the man of her dreams—Jordan Jonathan Sinclair II. Finally, she'd found someone who touched her heart in a way that no other man ever had before. She'd had a lot of suitors, but they all paled in comparison to Jordan. This was the happiest day of her life.

The Methodist church was filled to overflowing with people who had come to see the young couple married. Rachel tried to see Jordan near the altar, but she was too far away to pick him out of the group of men up front. She glanced at George Bentley, her Aunt Bess's latest admirer, who had been pleased when asked if he'd give the bride away. She smiled at him briefly, before looking ahead toward the altar.

Her heart thumped harder with each step she took toward the front of the church. Again, Rachel tried to see her betrothed, but she could barely see past her happy tears.

Rachel heard murmurs from the crowd that filled the church pews.

“They make a handsome couple together.
”

Rachel knew that she looked her best in the ivory and blue-sprigged satin gown, fashioned by an expert seamstress to perfectly drape her frame. Her chestnut-brown hair was pinned up, but a few curling tendrils had been left unfastened to soften the style. She wore a crown of daisies and spring blossoms. She'd wanted to be a beautiful bride for Jordan.

Oh, Father,
Rachel thought,
how I wish you and Amelia were here so everything could be perfect.

She wanted nothing more than to have her father and her sister present to share this special day, but John and Amelia Dempsey were several weeks' journey away, in the Wisconsin Territory, where John Dempsey had taken his physician's skills to a religious mission near Lake Superior. They had been gone for almost two years, and it had been several months since Rachel or her Aunt Bess had heard from them. The wedding plans had come about so quickly there hadn't been time to wait for her family's answer to Rachel's letter. She wished desperately that her father and sister would miraculously appear in church.

As if sensing her thoughts, George Bentley squeezed her arm with affection. Rachel smiled at the kindly gentleman, glad that she had someone as nice as him to take her father's place.

The organ music continued to resound inside the building, and Rachel blinked to clear her vision. Where was Jordan? She couldn't see him ahead.

He must be standing off to the side, waiting for me.
As she reached the altar, the music faltered. She felt a flutter of panic.
Jordan?
Where was he?

Rachel looked toward the side vestibule at the front of the church, but there was no sign of her intended.

Suddenly, the music stopped completely, and the silence was filled with the thumping of Rachel's heart. Her steps faltered as she heard the people shuffling in their seats. She swallowed hard as several attendees turned in their pews to stare at her.

Someone coughed. A fly droned near her left ear. Rachel heard whispers from the crowd. She glanced at George, who looked startled.

The music began to play again. George patted her arm in reassurance. Drawing a deep breath, Rachel focused her gaze straight ahead as she and George continued to stand at the altar.

The organist ceased playing again. A flurry of movement behind her had her turning, and with relief, she saw Aunt Bess. Her stomach burned when she met her aunt's gaze, then noted the piece of parchment in Bess Dempsey's left hand.

“What is it?” she asked, looking at the missive as Bess arrived at her side. “Has something happened?”

Bess nodded, her expression solemn. “Come with me, child,” she said softly as she took her niece's arm. Then she addressed the minister, who stood waiting patiently for the appearance of the groom. “If you will pardon us for a moment, Reverend?”

The Reverend Felcher nodded, and Bess escorted Rachel to the room off to the right side.

“What's wrong?” Rachel cried, as soon as her aunt had shut the door. “Where is Jordan?”

“My dear, there's no way to explain this gently. I am so sorry.”

“Has something terrible happened to Jordan?” Rachel's chest tightened as she pictured her beloved in a carriage accident, lying bleeding and injured, and fighting for his life. She felt the blood drain from her face. “He's not ...
dead?”

A myriad of expressions flitted across her aunt's face as Bess touched Rachel's arm. “No, dear. Jordan is very much alive,” she said with a hint of anger.

Rachel grabbed at her aunt's hand.
“What is it then?”

“He's not coming.”

She felt the room sway. “Not coming?”

Fury flashed in Bess Dempsey's blue gaze. “He sent this note.”

Rachel found it suddenly difficult to breathe. “I don't understand.” She felt her knees buckle, and her aunt grabbed her and set her carefully in a chair.

“I'm sorry, child,” Bess said huskily, her eyes filling with tears. “This wasn't how I pictured this day to end for you.”

“Aunt Bess!”

Bess bent to hug her niece tightly. “It appears, Rachel, that despite all his fancy talk and promises of undying love, your betrothed has changed his mind. He's eloped with the Widow Nanette. Apparently, the selfish, silver-tongued devil has decided to forgo marrying for love in favor of marrying for cold, hard coin.”

“No!” Rachel cried. “Tell me it's not true!” She stood and started for the door, but Bess grabbed her arm. “It's a lie,” Rachel insisted. “He's out there waiting for me now!” She clutched her aunt's shoulders. “Please tell me it's not true!” Teardrops overflowed to spill onto her cheeks.

“I can't tell you what you want to hear,” Bess said in a choked voice. “I'm so sorry, sweetheart.” She was unable to control her tears.

Organ music once again began to play, filling the church and filtering inside the tiny room. At the sound, Rachel turned to stare blankly at the door. “Not coming,” she whispered. “He's really not coming.”

She slumped back onto her chair, buried her face in her hands, and began to sob uncontrollably.

“I'll be going away—far away. You have a life here with George. I don't expect you to come with me.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Rachel!” Aunt Bess cried. “You can't just run off to be by yourself!”

Rachel didn't answer immediately. Seated before her vanity table, she studied her reflection with a critical eye. The young woman who gazed back at her seemed a stranger. She had Rachel's chestnut-brown hair coloring and eyes of green, but her face was paler than usual. Her eyes appeared larger, like a frightened doe's. Where once Rachel had been sure of her looks, suddenly she felt confident no longer. Her nose was too small, her lips too large and lush, and her eyes too bright. Rachel saw nothing of her own natural beauty in the mirror this day; she was conscious only of her flaws.

“Rachel!”

“I have to leave, Aunt Bess,” Rachel said, her heart beating hard within her chest. “I've been humiliated before everyone. Now, I find that some of the people I considered my friends are enjoying my discomfort. It's bad enough that I had to face the crowd at the church alone.” The memory of those embarrassing, painful moments after she'd been jilted renewed her tears. It had been days since the fiasco at the church, but the shame of it lingered.

A tinge of bitterness crept into her tone as she continued. “Jordan is away on his honeymoon.” Rachel closed her eyes a moment and fought the surge of pain. “When he returns with his new bride, the talk and the rumors will only worsen. There's nothing for me in Baltimore now ... except you, and I'll miss you terribly. But it hurts too much to live here.”

“But where will you go?” her aunt asked with concern.

Rachel met Bess's alarmed gaze in the mirror. “I'll join Father and Amelia at the mission.”

“But that's a terribly long way! Surely, no journey for a young woman to attempt on her own.” She set her jaw. “I'll go with you.”

But Rachel was determined that her aunt should stay. “No, you will not. You have a life here. You're happy in Baltimore.” She turned in her chair to face Bess. “I'll hire someone to take me.”

“Who?” Bess demanded.

“I don't know!” Rachel exclaimed. “But I'll not stay!” She'd rather brave the wilderness all alone than stay and face such humiliation again.

“I know someone who can take her,” a soft feminine voice said from the far side of the room.

The two women turned to gaze at Miranda Clark. She smiled as she approached them.

“And just who is that?” Bess asked.

“My uncle. He travels that territory. I'm sure he'll be happy to escort Rachel.”

For the first time in two days, Rachel's eyes gleamed. “He will?”

Miranda nodded, looking pleased. “Absolutely.”

“And you? Will you accompany me, Miranda?” Rachel asked. She considered Miranda Clark her one and only true friend.

Miranda looked genuinely surprised by the question. “I don't know ...” She looked thoughtful as she considered the idea.

“Pleased,
Miranda.”

“I—” Her hazel eyes suddenly twinkled as she approached. “All right, I'll go. I've always enjoyed an adventure, but Rachel, don't expect me to stay out there. My family will want me to return.”

“Of course they will.” Rachel managed to grin. “I appreciate that you'll accompany me. We'll have a wonderful time.” She feigned cheerfulness as she looked at her aunt. “There, Aunt Bess, now there is no cause for concern. Everything's all taken care of. Miranda and I will be escorted to Wisconsin by Miranda's uncle.”

Aunt Bess nodded, but appeared uncertain still. “When can I meet him?”

“Uncle Rupert?” Miranda said, her voice rising suddenly. “He's not in Baltimore, I'm afraid. He lives in a small village in Pennsylvania. The only way you'd be able to make his acquaintance is if you come with us.”

“Surely, it's not necessary that you meet the man, Aunt Bess,” Rachel said after catching a meaningful glance from her friend. “After all, he is Miranda's kin.”

Aunt Bess frowned. “I don't know—”

“Don't you trust us, Auntie?” Rachel asked.

Bess looked shocked by the question. “Of course I do!”

“Do you think Miranda and I would go with the man if Miranda didn't think he could keep us safe?”

“Well, no ...”

“Excellent!” Rachel exclaimed. “Then it's all set. We leave for Wisconsin as soon as it can be arranged!”

Grudgingly, Rachel's aunt agreed, before she left the two young women alone in her niece's bedchamber.

Rachel wondered why Miranda didn't want Aunt Bess to meet Rupert Clark. “What's wrong with your uncle?” she asked her friend.

“Nothing really, he's a dear man, and I trust him implicitly, but—”

“But?”

“His appearance is not one to inspire confidence in your aunt. She'd take one hard look at him and promptly demand that you remain at home.”

“He's that bad?”

“He looks like a woodsman,” Miranda explained.

A woodsman,
Rachel thought a week and a half later.
Miranda wasn't joking when she said that Rupert Clark looks like a woodsman,
she decided as she studied the unkempt, bearded individual whom Miranda had introduced as Uncle Rupert.

Rachel had been more than mildly shocked when she'd met him, wondering how a man this grizzly and unkempt could be even remotely related to her well-kept, pretty friend. But then she had gazed long and hard into his twinkling blue eyes, and had been reassured immediately by the kindness she saw there. They'd been traveling with Rupert for two days now, and Rachel's respect and admiration for Rupert Clark had only grown.

“Mr. Clark?”

The man turned and focused his blue gaze on her.

“How much farther is it to the Wisconsin Territory?” she asked. “Not that I mind the trip,” she said, although she did. “I was just wondering.”

Rupert tugged on his gray beard with tobacco-stained fingers. “Well, lass, that depends on whether or not we encounter any Injuns.”

“Indians!” she gasped. “You mean we may actually see savages?”

“Better not call them that to their faces. Some take mighty exception to the term.”

“Do they speak English?” Miranda asked, her eyes widening with surprise.

The old man faced his niece. “Some. Especially the ones who reside near the mission.” He looked back at Rachel with a half smile. “Why did you think your father went to the mission? Just to doctor some missionaries?”

“I—ah—I guess I never gave it much thought.” Rachel blushed, knowing how selfish she sounded. Her father and sister had left to live in the wilderness, and Rachel had been more interested in the impact their leaving would have on her life than in the safety and interests of her family. She'd been so caught up in her own life that she'd given no consideration to her father and sister's feelings or fears.

I miss them,
she thought. She missed the long talks she used to have with Amelia, confiding in her sister, sharing dreams. She missed seeing the way her father's eyes would light up with pleasure whenever she walked into a room dressed up for a ball or party.

The decision to join her family was the right one. They loved her. They would understand and help soothe away the pain she'd suffered because of Jordan.

Rachel vowed to be more aware of her family's needs in the future. She felt a small smile settle on her lips at the prospect of being with those she loved. She couldn't wait to see Father and Amelia.

They traveled for days by carriage, by rail, by boat, then finally by wagon. Their accommodations along the way were by no means luxurious, but they were suitable, Rachel decided. They stayed at inns, hotels, and private residences of people who knew Rupert Clark. She and Miranda had suffered no ill effects from the hours of traveling, but Rachel wanted the trip to be over. Each day that saw her farther and farther from Baltimore, and the life she'd enjoyed until recently, made her heart ache. She found herself of late recalling her time with Jordan, her happiness when she'd been with him, how excited she'd been when he'd asked her to marry him.

The landscape blurred as tears filled her eyes. Why had Jordan asked her to marry him if he'd had no intention of following through?

The widow Nanette.
Rachel had a mental image of a woman with dark curly hair, a white complexion heavy with perfumed face powder and rouge, and a large beauty mark on her chin.
An ugly mole, it is.
She felt guilty thinking it, but for only a moment. It actually felt good to feel anger instead of pain.

Rachel still couldn't believe that Jordan had chosen that woman over her. Not after he'd kissed and held her as if no other woman in the world existed for him.

I'm a fool,
she thought. Thank goodness she'd had sense enough to keep her virginity for the marriage bed.
Something that Jordan will never have from me now. Something the widow had given up long before she'd ever met Jordan.
But now the widow had used her own experience with men to seduce and lure away Rachel's betrothed.

Pain lanced within Rachel's breast, making her stomach hurt and her head spin. She had to forget Jordan. She didn't need him. In fact, she didn't need any man. Her sister didn't have a husband or lover. She didn't need—or want—one either.

A teardrop escaped to drip onto Rachel's cheek, and she quickly dashed it away before Miranda or her uncle could see it. I
have a new life to dead. Father and Amelia will need help at the mission. I'll be happy dedicating my life to helping others.
She tried not to think of the husband she'd almost had and the children she would never conceive.

She sighed. But she would have liked to try it, at least, just once.

As the morning wore on, Rachel's traveling party ventured into the wilderness with forests and scenery more rugged and beautiful than any they'd encountered before. As the trees thickened, and Rupert steered the wagon along a narrow path that was just large enough for the conveyance, Rachel studied her surroundings with unease.

“Is this Indian country?” she asked Rupert in a hushed voice.

“Yep,” he replied without looking at her.

Rachel glanced in the back of the wagon, and was only slightly reassured by the sight of Rupert's double-barreled rifle lying behind the man's end of the seat. She wanted to ask Miranda's uncle if he knew how to use the weapon, but she knew it would be a foolish question. It was obvious that the man had to be an excellent marksman to have survived this long in this wilderness.

“Are the Indians friendly, Uncle Rupert?” Miranda asked.

“Some are, some aren't,” Rupert replied.

Rachel saw that her friend wasn't concerned.

“Are we in any danger?” Rachel asked.

“Life is dangerous,” he said. “A lightning strike in a storm. A carriage accident on a busy street.”

She sensed Miranda's gaze and turned to look at her. “Aren't you worried?”

Miranda nodded. “Of course I am. But, I also know my uncle. He's the best there is. We'll be safe enough until we reach the mission.”

That night they camped out in the open for the first time. Rupert found a clearing beneath a stand of trees. There he instructed the young women to spread their sleeping pallets.

“I don't like this,” Rachel muttered to Miranda as she unrolled the quilts that would serve as her bed that night. “There are wild animals out there. What if one of them comes and eats us in the night?”

Rupert hooted with laughter from a short distance away. “I don't reckon you'll sleep through it if one does!” Chuckling, the man walked back to the wagon to unload some supplies.

“Miranda, I'm scared.”

“Don't worry. Uncle Rupert will watch out for us while we sleep. He'll build a fire to keep the animals away.”

“But when will he sleep?”
And the Indians? she
thought.
What will keep the savages away?

Miranda shrugged. “He'll probably nap some of the time, I suppose. But he's a very light sleeper,” she quickly assured her frightened friend.

Rupert shot a rabbit for dinner. After a meal of rabbit stew, he told the girls stories as they sat around the campfire, while dusk turned into the darkness of night. Despite her initial fear of sleeping out in the wild, Rachel found herself caught up in Uncle Rupert's tale of the time he'd spent five days with Indians. Every once in a while, the sounds of the night invaded Rachel's sense of peace. When an owl hooted in the distance, Rupert paused in the middle of the tale to announce what the sound was, then promptly went back to his storytelling. After several such occasions, Rachel no longer started when she heard a new forest sound. She listened with rapt interest to Miranda's uncle as he related the story of one adventure after another.