Wild Heart- Extended Edition (The Wild Heart Series) (18 page)

“I love this view,” Cash’s words pulled her from her thoughts, “You know after you left for New York, I came up here almost every day that summer. It was the only place I could feel you. Everywhere else was bland and stagnant. I tried to get myself into a routine that didn’t have you in it and I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t find my rhythm without you.”

She absorbed the love in his voice as he spoke, “I know it was hard on you, Cash, and I’m sorry for the way I left.”

“No need to be sorry, Ani. I didn’t care about anything but myself and because of that selfishness, I let you go. I was naïve, made decisions with my heart instead of my mind. I let my emotions take over and didn’t think things through. I should have supported you when you told me about New York,” he leaned down onto the horn of his saddle, “Hell, Ani, I should’ve went with you up there.”

“It’s ok, Cash. I’m back now.” She stared out at the sea of evergreens, avoiding the emotions that were welling up inside of her.

“Do you know how many plane tickets I bought?” he looked over at her, the raw emotion evident as he spoke. He wasn’t hiding his feeling toward her any longer. “Fifteen. I bought fifteen plane tickets to New York. I told myself that I would go up there and win you back. Even got on a flight once and flew up there.”

“I never knew you came to New York, Cash.”

“I never told anyone. I got into that city and was swallowed whole by those buildings, the noise, the traffic. I tried, Ani, I really tried. I wanted to show you that I could live there and be with you; to make things right, but I couldn’t. I never once felt like that was home,” an apologetic look encompassed his face. “I’m just a southern boy, Ani; covered in dirt and grease. No matter how much I loved you, I thought I was in love with Tennessee more.”

“Cash, I was selfish when I expected you to drop everything you’d ever known to come with me.” It was time to take this burden from him, “To be honest I think a part of me never wanted to tell you about New York because I knew you wouldn’t want to go. You would have talked me out of it and we would be living in the cabin up on Mr. Baxley’s property with twelve kids,” she eyed over at him with a warm smile, “and as beautiful as those kids would be, it wasn’t what I wanted.”

“I know that,” his voice was a mere whisper as he acknowledged their broken past; and he sighed when he thought about the possibility of their broken future. They both knew that a lot would have to change for anything to work between them. They wouldn’t be able to settle back into old habits, they were both different from the kids they were before.

As they finished their ride and came trotting back into the pasture, a flash of silver caught Ani’s eye, causing her to pick up the pace. As she neared the barn she saw Knox’s black Harley parked at the side of the house. Her stomach twisted as she glanced over at Cash, his eyes were cut toward the motorcycle, the irritation spreading across his face evident.

“I’m gonna get Tank back home, I’ll see you in a few right?” he glanced over at her, trying to judge the look on her face.

“Yeah, I’ll give you a call when I get changed,” she smiled weakly as he rode off, tipping his hat toward the porch as he took off down the road.

Ani brought Catori up to the side of the barn, slipping down from the saddle as Knox came around the side of the house. His hair pulled into a loose messy bun with a darkened expression framing his face. He looked… worried. She hadn’t returned any of his calls for the past two weeks and it was now dawning on her that he had been worried.

“Been tryin’ to call you, Ani. I haven’t heard from you for the past two weeks, like you disappeared or something.” He ran his hand over his face, exasperation and relief pouring out of him as he walked up to her.

“Knox, I really didn’t have much to say.”

“Do you know how worried I was about you? Worried that something had happened to you because of me.”

“Exactly, Knox, because of you,” the words tore at her soul as they came out of her mouth. “I can’t live like that, afraid that anywhere I go something may happen to me because of who I’m with. That’s not my life, Knox. It’s yours.”

“I know what you’re doing and it’s not gonna work, love.” His dark eyes stared deep into her soul. She tried to keep her reserve as she spoke, she couldn’t give him any hint to the war path she was about to set ablaze between them.

“We don’t belong together. You and me, we’re cut from two different cloths, Knox. You’re dangerous and I’m not; you’re strong and I’m not. If I stay around you it’s only going to break that loving creature apart piece by piece. Sending cracks through my soul that can’t be fixed later.” The tears were burning at her eyes as the sharp pain began forming in her throat. She had to keep it together, but the hurt and pain were already tearing across his face, making it that much harder.

“Ani…” his voice trailed off, “You really feel that way?”

“Yes,” she looked down at the ground as she spoke. She couldn’t lie to his face.

“Look me in the eye and tell me that,” his voice was commanding as he stepped closer to her. “Look me in the eye and tell me that’s how you feel.”

She fought it, the fissures rupturing through her heart. This all felt so wrong but she knew she had to do it, she had to let him go. “Cash cares about me, Knox. More than you could ever imagine; he was my first love, my first everything. He can be there for me in ways you can’t. I owe it to him to try and give it a fresh start; a second chance.”

“Second chance? That’s not how it works, Ani,” his voice demanded her full attention, “Fuck you’re first love, let’s all give him a round of applause for ripping your heart out. No, Ani, a second chance is something new, something different.”

“Knox, you don’t know anything about my relationship with Cash,” her words were poisonous as she spoke.

“Aye, I don’t. But he didn’t respect you, Ani; that I do know. He didn’t support your dreams, your goals. If he had you would still be together. He didn’t respect you and he doesn’t deserve you.”

“And you do?”

“I do. Never thought I could love something before in my life, Ani. Then you came into it and turned my world upside down. Do you know the fear that I felt at the club that night, the fear of losing you?” His words cut through her flesh, exposing the weaknesses of her heart. “I can’t promise you a happy ending, darlin’, but happy endings are for pussies. I can promise you our own ending, the one that we get to create together. It’s not like anyone else’s and at times we might have to fight for it, fight for each other. But I know that would mean more to me than to just… settle.”

The tears now flowed freely down her face; Knox reached for her, but she stepped back from him. “I wish you could understand the ache within my heart, Ani. Not just because I haven’t had you by my side, but because I know I can’t live without you by my side.” Never before had anyone spoken so deeply toward wanting her affection. She tried to regain her composure as he turned and took a few steps toward his bike.

“I will fight for us, Ani. But you have to fight for us too.” He dropped his hands in surrender by his side, “If you want to fight for us you know where I’ll be.”

As he took off down the road, she could hear the growl of his engine as he hit the throttle and shifted into the next gear. The sound ripped through her body taking every last shred of doubt with it. She led Catori into her stall and collapsed onto the bale of hay sitting in the corner. The sobs shuttered through her body relentless and unforgiving. She clutched at her stomach as she let them out, no longer holding back, no longer ashamed to show fear and the pain she’d been feeling the last two weeks. She could feel Catori’s warm breath blowing against the top of her head, nuzzling her neck in comfort.

She reached up and gently rubbed the top of her head, “I know.” She wiped at the tears flowing down her cheeks as she looked up into those crystal blue eyes. “I know that I have to.”

KNOX

“Tell me where she is, Kate,” Knox’s voice was mixed between worry and sadness.

Two weeks had gone by and his world has ceased to exist. It was no longer filled with her beautiful laughter, or the warmth of her touch. He knew he should have never left the night after the attack; he shouldn’t have left her alone, but he had. In the midst of his fury he had stormed out and left her standing there in the middle of his room. He choked down the eruption that was brewing inside of him as he thought back to that night. The thought that someone had threatened her because of him fueled the chaos that was burning in his mind. And then when he’d gotten back, she was gone.

He couldn’t bring himself to come to terms with the fact that he might feel like this for the rest of his life if he couldn’t find a way to win her back.

“I can’t tell you, Knox,” Kate frowned over at him, “You just gotta give it time.”

“Fuck that. I’m not doing that, next thing I know she’ll be gone. I have to go make it right. Please, Kate. Please, just tell me where she is.” His face was long and somber as he looked over toward her. “Please, Kate, she is my life,” he whispered as he hung his head toward the floor. From the corner of his eye, he could see that she was teetering between telling him and going upstairs. He could only hope that her devotion to Ani would persuade her to tell him.

Kate let out a deep breath, “Here.” She let out a slight growl as she grabbed the notepad and pen sitting on the side table and jotted something down. She ripped it off, bundled it up, and threw it right at his head.

He didn’t flinch as the ball of paper smacked against his right temple. He reached down and picked it up off the floor, unfolding it to see the address to Ani’s house. “Thank you,” he said to Kate as he bounded for the door.

At that exact moment he knew his purpose, he knew that all of the roads, the paths he’d taken in his life had led him to her. His future was Ani and he wouldn’t let her go. He couldn’t. Because without her his world didn’t exist. Without her he didn’t have a purpose in life. He ran toward his bike, cranking it and speeding off down the driveway, ignoring the shouts of Repo’s deep voice that trailed off behind him with each turn of the throttle. Nothing would be able to stop him from his future, he could only hope that time would be on his side and that he wouldn’t be too late.

CHAPTER TWELVE

O GI NA LI

She pulled up the dark drive, stopping as she reached the gate. She had stopped thinking with her head and started thinking with her heart. It was her head that had gotten her in trouble so many times before. She had to stop calculating every move and start doing what felt right and from the moment he’d left all she could think about was being in his arms once more. She waited as the calm set over her body before punching in the code and driving on up the steep driveway. She could see the lights of the house sparkling in the night sky as she parked. This was what felt right, what felt
familiar
. This was home.

She crossed the front lawn and walked toward the door, knocking lightly. The anticipation fluttered throughout her stomach as the handle turned and the door swung open. She smiled up at those eyes that she loved so much. She didn’t give him a chance to speak, only wrapped her arms up around his neck as their lips crashed into each other. The passion re-ignited stronger than it ever was before. His hands grasped the hair at the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him, devouring her as she melted into his touch. The touch she had missed so much. It was then that she realized that it didn’t matter what path she could choose in this life or the next, he’d come along and changed her entire direction altogether.

She pushed him back through the door, kicking it shut with her foot as the fury of their devotion to each other buzzed in the air. Fireworks exploded around them as they became entangled into one body. He lifted her up as she hooked her legs around his waist, scrambling to remove every piece of clothing that hindered the touch of his skin. They bounced against the walls as they made their way into the open space, whistles and hoots resounding from every corner of the room as Knox carried her up the stairs and toward his room.

“Love me, Knox.” She ripped the buttons of his black shirt off, exposing the rippled muscles below.

There was chaos surrounding them as they longed to feel the touch of each other’s skin. The chaos that consumes you when an angel falls in love with an outlaw.

“Aye, baby,” he spoke between kisses as he threw her down onto the bed. “Always.”

She pulled at the clothes covering her body as he undressed on top of her, trailing kisses down her neck. Every nerve, every fiber of her body was exploding from his touch. She felt his length at the apex of her thighs, teasing her gently as he rocked his hips back and forth against her sex. His touch softened as he spread her legs, pushing the tip of his cock into her. She longed to feel all of him, needed it to survive. How could she have ever doubted this man, doubted his feelings for her?

He grabbed her hips and pulled her onto him, filling her with every inch of his cock. She moaned out in pleasure as the need for his devotion coursed through her. He knelt between her legs, rocking back and forth into her. His erection drug along every nerve, a sweet slow torture toward her release. She pulled herself up, hooking her arms around his neck as he lifted her and turned to sit on the edge of the bed. She rode up and down on his length, crying out his name as she got closer to finding her climax. She could feel the pulsating throb from her core as he thrust into her. His hands traveled to her face, cupping it gently as his lips found hers. For the first time he made love to her, claiming his ownership over her body and soul over and over again.

The beauty of their love flowed freely around them, no longer holding back in fear of losing the other. They found their release together as she gently rocked back and forth on his cock. She devoured every delectable ounce of him as he came inside of her, slowing as she lay her head against his chest, sated and content.

“I can’t promise you the world, Aiyana, but I can promise you my devotion,” his words were breathless as he lightly brushed his fingers across her lips.