Authors: Charles de de Lint
He backed off a few steps and sat cross-legged on the ground. Taking out his tobacco pouch, he rolled himself a cigarette. He tossed a pinch of tobacco to each of the four directions, then lit the cigarette and repeated the offerings with the smoke.
Half-breed, the buffalo war chief had called him. Like it was an insult.
Funny how some people took this idea of racial purity so seriously. Like everybody’s spirit wasn’t pulled out of that same pot of Raven’s, back in the long ago. No matter how different people looked—cousin, human, fairy—inside they were all the same. It was only what you did with the spirit that made a difference.
Big heart or sour twist.
Generous spirit or miser.
You had a choice.
But you had to make that choice, or the circumstances around you would make it for you. People would decide for you.
He remembered when he first came to the Kickaha rez. When asked his clan, he’d say Red Dog, after his mother’s, a clan of gangly rez dogs, but they’d hear Crow. He had the blood of both, only the elders—the aunts and old Jack Whiteduck, who’d been the new young shaman back then—focused on the Crow and likened it to the tribe’s guardian spirits. Except when they said crow, they meant corbae, because crow in the old Kickaha language translated into any kind of blackbird or jay: crow, raven, rook, blue jay, grackle. All the corbae cousins. The guardian spirits of the Kickaha.
That was the way of the world. People met you and they either looked for how you were similar to them, and welcomed you into their circle, or focused on how you were different, so that all you could be was a stranger at best, an enemy at worst.
Trouble was, if you didn’t have a clear enough idea about your own identity, you could become what the people around you decided you were.
Good man, bad man.
Crazy man, brave man, thief.
Living man, dead one.
Right now, he was lying on that plain where the buffalo had gathered. Head probably bleeding from the blow he’d taken from Minisino’s club. Not breathing.
They were going to say he was dead.
If enough of them believed it, it could come true.
Or at least stay true.
But it didn’t have to be that way.
Because that was the part of this holding ground that wasn’t talked about as much. Sure, spirits stayed here for a time before they either moved on, or returned to haunt what they’d left behind. But it was a place of more possibilities than the next turn on the wheel or the ghost road.
Supposedly, you could also find your way back into your own body. Have a second chance on your old wheel. All you had to do was get back.
It should be a piece of cake, for an old crow dog with his talents.
Trouble was, Joe didn’t have the first idea where to go.
Every direction looked, sounded, smelled the same.
Every direction led back to water and the canoe that would take him on.
“What do you say, spirits?” he asked the mist. “Is there one of you out there willing to lend me a hand in this? Or have you decided that this part of my story’s well and truly done?”
There was no reply, but he hadn’t really expected one.
It looked like this was something you were supposed to figure out on your own.
Grey
My ears are still ringing
from Raven’s summoning cry when a pair of crows appear in the sky above us. They come spiralling down at a dizzying speed and change into a pair of teenage girls just before they touch the ground. I’m impressed with their balance. Neither of them so much as stumbles in her landing.
As soon as they touch the ground they turn to Raven and start jabbering away, the two voices intermingling so that it seems like it’s only one person talking.
“We didn’t kill them.”
“Not even one.”
“I know we didn’t try to stop them.”
“But you never said stop them.”
“You never said anything.”
“You just said find the bogans.”
“You never said what to do when they were found.”
“And you know crow boys.”
“They can be all sharp beaks and talons.”
“So they’re all dead dead dead.”
“Veryvery dead.”
“And in lots of little pieces.”
Raven holds up a hand, and the pair immediately fall silent.
“Crow girls,” Jack says from beside me, his voice soft, the tone implying that it’s a big mistake.
I glance at him, but he only shrugs.
Raven points to where Cassie’s holding Joe.
“I need you to fix this,” he said.
The crow girls look at Joe’s body, and they seem surprised.
“Who did this?” one of them asks.
Raven jerks a thumb in the direction of Minisino’s body.
The other girl shakes her head. “A little buffalo man killed Joe?”
Her—sister? It must be, they look so similar. She nods and says, “How did a little buffalo man get so powerful?”
It’s odd the way they keep referring to Minisino as little. The pair of them are so skinny and small themselves. If Minisino were alive and standing, he’d be twice their height.
“He didn’t,” Raven says. “He struck Joe down from behind.”
I’ve been finding myself agreeing with Jack. Why has Raven brought in a couple of little girls to help us with this? But when he tells them how Joe died, something changes in their eyes. They go dark and old and more dangerous than anything I’ve ever seen before. And then I remember a story that’s sometimes added to the one about the beginning time, about how a pair of crows were already here in the long ago, watching Raven make the world.
“If we bring Joe back,” one of them says, “what will he do?”
The other one nods. “Will he go all Jack Daw on us and start a clan feud with the buffalo?”
“I don’t know,” Raven says. “It’s Joe. Anything could happen. But right now I need you to heal him.”
The girls nod. They study Joe’s body for a long moment, then start to talk in tandem again.
“We’d like to,” one of them says.
“But it’s too late.”
“He’s already gone on.”
“Into the mists.”
Raven’s frown isn’t one I’d want directed at me.
“Can’t you go and bring him back?” he asks.
One of the crow girls nods. “But you’ll have to kill us to do that.”
“It’s true,” the other says.
“But we don’t mind.”
“We’ve never been dead before.”
One of them drops a switchblade from the sleeve of her jacket and thumbs it open with a loud
snikt.
She flips the knife so that she’s holding it by the tip of the blade and offers it to Raven.
Raven shakes his head and turns to Cassie.
“I can’t ask that of them,” he says.
The girl then offers the blade to Cassie, but before Cassie can say anything, Anwatan steps up.
“Nobody else has to die,” she says. “Not when I’m already dead. Just tell me how to find him, and I’ll go.”
Jilly
Before Del even knows what I’m doing
, I reach out.
Out and out and out.
Away from this world inside my head.
I’m making another once upon a time.
Once upon a time, there were two sisters and whatever one felt, the other did, too.
That’s a good start.
Once upon a time, there were two sisters and whatever one felt, the other did, too, so when one of them called to the other, she always heard, and she always came. No matter how far away she was. No matter what.
And just like that—here in the world inside my head, in the house from hell where Raylene and I grew up—she’s here with us. My little sister. His, too.
She appears with her back to me, facing Del.
“The fu—” she starts.
Except then she sees that Del’s already lifting the shotgun. So she does what Raylene always does. Acts, without thinking. Instinct.
She steps right up to him, knocks the barrel of the shotgun aside, and drives her knee into his groin. He drops the shotgun, and it vanishes before it hits the ground. She shoves him back. Her hand goes into the pocket of the jacket she’s wearing and comes out with a flick-knife that she snaps open.
But she doesn’t have to use it.
Del stays where he’s fallen, staring at her with confused, scared eyes.
“She’s not supposed to be here,” he says. “I’m in charge here.
I’m
in charge!”
“In your dreams,” Raylene tells him.
Then she finally turns and sees me leaning against the wall. She backs up so that she can keep an eye on Del, but still see me.
“Hey,” I say.
She shakes her head. “Christ, you look like hell.”
That’s Raylene for you. Always the diplomat.
There was a time when we looked enough alike that we could be mistaken for each other. But that was before the accident. We don’t stand at all the same anymore. And she’s done something new with her hair. It’s short and she’s had it straightened. It looks good on her and I say as much.
“Yeah, yeah,” she tells me, but she smiles to take the sting out of it. “I’m a regular prom queen. You mind telling me where we are? Because I’ve got an idea, and I don’t much care for it.”
“It’s the old house,” I confirm.
“And we’re here with that piece of crap because . . . ?”
She indicates Del with the blade of her knife.
“It’s a long story,” I say.
“Well, considering I was sleeping peacefully in my bed a few minutes ago, so I’m probably dreaming now, I’d guess we have all the time in the world.”
I nod. “Just a sec’. I want to try something.”
When I reached out for Raylene and brought her here, I could feel myself tapping into the essence of this place—the way that Del does, I guess, to make the things he does happen. So I try it again.
Once upon a time . . .
Once upon a time, there was a girl who looked Broken, but she’d always left out milk and honeycakes for the good spirits, and so one day they took pity on her and made her whole again.
“Whoa,” Raylene says.
I smile and straighten up from the wall. I’m like I was when I first entered the otherworld what feels like centuries ago. Has it only been a day? But I’m unbroken again. Twenty-something and strong. If we had a mirror, I’m sure that Raylene and I would look almost the same except for our hair.
“Nice trick,” she says. “I take it we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
I shake my head. “No, we’re definitely in Oz. Or at least the Carter version of Oz.”
“I’m still waiting on that explanation,” she says.
“I know. Just let me do one more thing.”
I look at Del.
Once upon a time, I think, there was an evil brother who made life miserable for his sisters. But one day they defeated him and whenever he had a bad thought after that, leather cords appeared and bound him hand to foot so that he couldn’t move and do anybody any harm.
And there Del is, all tied up.
I could get so used to this.
“I think you can put your knife away,” I tell Raylene.
She studies Del for a long moment, then slowly nods. I see her thumb push the release button, and she flicks the blade back into its handle. She stows it in the pocket of her jacket.
“Stop stalling,” she says. “I want to know exactly what the hell’s going on here.”