Wicked Steps (24 page)

Ellery

I’d always known my affair with Kieran wouldn’t last. There was no way he and I ever had a chance because of the history between us. Even if time were on our side, it wouldn’t make a difference. We had too many obstacles. The whispers and innuendos would follow us everywhere. True, we hadn’t written the prologue, but the epilogue was anything but a romantic love story.

I didn’t know what to say when he asked me if I loved him. I swallowed the reply because I knew it didn’t matter. Regardless of how I felt, my peers would never understand. The response to our relationship would be brutal. It would end up destroying any future we might have had.

I was deluding myself. The odds were stacked against us the minute we saw each other that first night. It had been mutual sexual attraction, then hate, and then somehow it became love. I always thought him denying me the gallery and leaving me without financial security would be my penance for the deal I made with Hartman. But because I loved him, I could survive all that. Walking away from this man, however—that would break me.

Was I prepared to give up a lifelong dream for a man I didn’t really know or even trust? Would I have the strength to endure the judgments? I had more to lose than just my gallery. My entire life would be dissected. I’d be persecuted for loving Hartman’s son. Could I put my future in his hands? He already had my heart, even if he wasn’t aware of it. But Salacity and all I’d sacrificed for, I wasn’t sure if I could trade one for another, and I sure as hell knew I couldn’t have both.

“Are you busy?” I looked up as Coco strolled into my office. She handed me a mug brimming with delicious-smelling coffee.

“Thanks, I need this. Sit down. Let’s go over the paperwork for next season’s acquisitions.” I handed her some files and sipped my drink as she flipped through the pages.

“You know, as thrilling as these are, I’m dying to know about you and Wicked—I mean Kieran. I was surprised to see you here on a weekend, considering what you have at home.” She licked her lips as she arched her brows. “He’s really too pretty to leave unattended. I mean… you two did merge, so to speak, after you got a clean bill of health. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the impersonal text regarding the results. Jesus, Elle, I thought you would have called me.”

My face felt hot as embarrassment took over. “Um, well, I was otherwise indisposed.” I leaned back in my chair and stared at my shoes.

“Oh really…? Indisposed, huh? And how many times were you indisposed?” Coco asked with a crooked smile, laughing.

“It’s not funny. I’m old and not used to—”

She cut me off.
Bitch.
“Please. I do not want to hear you complain because a flexible twenty-four-year-old ravished you. But I need to know. How was it?”

I smiled dreamily, feeling mischievous. “I can’t describe it because there are no words. Let’s just say he lives up to his name.”

I could see the worry on her face and the tension in her body. “I knew this would happen. I predicted this, Elle,” she whispered.

I set down my coffee. “It was already too late when you warned me. It doesn’t matter anyway because he’s pissed off, and I’m glad.”

Coco’s eyes filled with confusion as she leaned toward me. “What do you mean he’s pissed and you’re glad? You’re happy he’s mad. That doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense. Him being angry gives us equal opportunity to walk away. Did you know he’s having a huge reveal in Germany next week? He’s literally planning to announce that not only is he Wicked, but he’s Hartman Wick’s long-lost son. He wanted me to go with him.”

Now she looked at me with frustration. “I read about his Berlin showing in yesterday’s trades, but not his plans to unveil the truth about himself. Jesus, this is fucked up. Maybe you should go. Get ahead of the gossip train before it derails.”

I stood and walked around the front of the desk to lean on it for support. “If he and I were discovered as lovers, everything you and I have worked for would be shit. What I endured for five years would be for nothing. Our gallery couldn’t survive the scandal. Our patrons, especially the ones who knew Hartman… they would be appalled. All of this would be ruined. Sure, everyone expects amoral behavior from a man, but you and I—we’d be fucked.”

“If you love him like I know you do, fuck the masses. Why do you even give a damn what is said? Those people aren’t your friends; they’re vipers. They have nothing better to do than judge others. Screw them. You went through hell and survived to get us to this point. Please, Elle, don’t give up your much-deserved happiness because of this place and those worthless fucks. Yeah, we both worked hard as hell to make it what it is, but you’re worth more than concrete and glass. This is only what you do; it’s not who you are.

“And don’t bother adding my feelings into the equation. I can work at any gallery. I just want you to be happy, and if it’s with him, don’t throw that away. You’ll regret it. Just go with Kieran. Regardless, the paparazzi will find out. It would be better if it were on your own terms. You’re in love with him. How is that morally wrong? Now
go
.” Coco took her coffee along with the paperwork and walked out.

She was right. I’d always thought owning Salacity was my end plan, but he was. He’d gotten it wrong when he told me I was the light in his dark existence. The truth was he was my luminous savoir at the end of a long and painful tunnel. Tears burned my eyes. I had to call him. I had told him we had nothing left to talk about when he sent me a text. My response could have been misconstrued as me walking away. I was such a fool.

Five times I called, and I got his voicemail. Not being able to speak to him had me agitated. There was no way I could get any work done until we resolved things. I should have stayed and fought for us. But I was too much of a coward. I was letting people I didn’t know or care about dictate my actions. I wished now I had answered his question instead of hiding in the bathroom.

Hartman and I would go for days, sometimes a week, having only silence between us. It seemed strange now, but it’s how we communicated. I would close up after he hurt me, and he would shut down because of what he’d done. It was another trait I didn’t want Kieran to inherit from his father, but I’d pushed him away and left him with no alternative.

The inside lights were dark when I got to the house. The security system was on, which meant he wasn’t here. I quickly checked his room. All his belongings were gone. The room he’d used as a studio looked as though it had been ransacked. There was evidence of anger. He was pissed. He’d left me.

I tried his number again—still nothing but voicemail. What I had to say I wanted to tell him face to face. I didn’t want to leave a digital message.

A sensation of helplessness came over me because I didn’t know what I should do. I tried his hotel, and he’d never checked back in. My final attempt was the airport. Bastards wouldn’t tell me jack shit. So I called Preston because I knew, above anyone else, he’d not only tell me where he was, but sympathize with me.

I began sobbing as he spoke.

“I’m so sorry, but Kieran took the redeye to Berlin three hours ago. He appeared in a hurry. I tried to question him, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He signed over everything to you, Ellery—every dime, including the deed to Salacity and the mansion. He was very clear in his directives; the businesses are to be liquidated and the proceeds given to charities per your instructions. I have set up an account in your name that you can draw from. You’ll never have to worry about money. He followed through on Hartman’s promise to you. He made sure you’ll always be taken care of.”

My crying became uncontrollable. He really did leave me. He didn’t even try to fight for us. He only threw money at me, hoping that would pacify me.

I could hear the desperation in Preston’s voice as he spoke. “I don’t know what happened between you, but I’m going to assume after the health scare, you two got past your differences. I don’t have any idea what’s going on right now, so talk to me. I’m a good listener.”

I unloaded on him. I hadn’t even confessed that much detail to Coco. I told him everything. Every single snippet of what Hartman had done, not only to me, but also to Kieran’s mother. I even told him all the intimate details of the past weekend. Because of my own selfish impulse to vent, I’d forgotten he too had loved a Wick. Darcea. I should have revealed those details in person. I wished so much to give him a supportive hug. I always thought Kieran had told him the complete truth, but judging from the sound of his voice, he had no idea. I had blindsided him.

“Oh, Preston, I’m so sorry. I honestly thought you knew—everything. I can’t believe he never told you. I feel horrible.”

“It’s very clear why he didn’t.” I could hear his voice shake with rage. “If I had known all of it, God help me, I might have assisted him to an earlier grave. What he did to his own family… was bad enough. But what you endured and what he did to my sweet Darcea. I’m filled with deep remorse as well as ignorance that I didn’t know. It would appear we have all suffered at the hands of Hartman Wick.

“I know Kieran. He’ll cool off and come back, but that still won’t quell your fears. I guess it comes down to you having a life with him or keeping what you have here. I’m not saying a relationship will be easy with him, but some of the greatest stories of love in history required strength and sacrifice.”

“You think I should stay put, then, and get ready for him to come back. Because I was prepared to go to Berlin and tell him the way I feel. Help me make the right decision, because I don’t want to lose him forever.”

“Let him reach out. Then talk to him. Neither of you can do anything when he’s in another country and the media is everywhere. You need time to pull yourself together and figure out if being with him is what you really want. Don’t toy with him, Ellery. Make sure you want this. I know he comes across as this self-sufficient, arrogant prick, but you walking away a second time will kill him. I don’t think he’ll recover from another loss.”

“I love him, Preston. Somehow, that self-righteous demeanor took root and planted itself into my heart. People will never understand my feelings for him.”

“I agree. It’s not going to be pretty when everything comes out. Once the publicity hits about you two, it will lead to extremely intimate inquiries. I won’t lie to you. The news media won’t be merciful. They will dig until they uncover everything regarding your marriage. Hartman’s sexual appetites have always been a topic of interest to those bottom feeders, but once they find out about the affair you’re having with his son—all bets will be off. Your private life will be dissected along with anyone who associates with you.

“I am now your attorney. We’ll take a meeting and discuss a retainer tomorrow. I can field a large portion of the media and their questions.”

In a million years, I could never have foreseen all of this. How could loving someone be this complicated? Now I was wealthier than I’d ever imagined, I finally owned the gallery, and I’d met the man I loved. All of my happiness to be overshadowed by the paparazzi. I would never know solitude again because they would stalk my every move. I had witnessed the interrogations of the press against public figures.

My mind was a mess of indecision. The only thing I wasn’t conflicted about was my feelings for Kieran. Maybe I should go public with this before anyone found out. It would look less suspicious if I revealed it candidly before our relationship became a nasty rumor. Then we could come out together. Whatever happened had to be a mutual decision.

“As your attorney, I’m advising you to get a publicist. I can find you a reliable one. You need to get ahead of this before it comes out publically. This is what they do and they’re damn good at it. Think of them as ‘spin-doctors.’ They are experts at fabricating facts to make you look good. I honestly think this would be the best move. That way we can be prepared. Don’t worry, Ellery. These people will make it look like, regardless of everything, he saved you from your painful past.”

I swallowed a silent sob. “He did… save me,” I murmured.

Kieran

Two fucking weeks in Berlin. I’d had enough of Deutschland. I needed to get back to Elle. The second week of my exhibition brought in more fans and art dealers than my agent had hoped. In my wildest dreams, I never thought revealing myself as Kieran Wick would cause such a scandal of global proportions. Sure, the art world still admired Wicked, but the goddamn media whores started salivating when I publically announced I was indeed the estranged son of Hartman Wick. I might have said too much, but Elle left me no choice. Even on the flight home, I couldn’t get away from it. We were now outed as a couple. Our faces splashed everywhere.

The internet acted as though I were a recipient of some great injustice—saying when the elder Wick kicked the bucket, the grieving widow seduced his son. I didn’t care about me, but they had thrown her under the bus. She’d been right in her prediction. Her fears were coming to fruition. They touted her as a brazen whore that was sleeping with her stepson to get more money. Shame and sorrow sped through my body as I remembered how badly I treated Elle and the names I used to describe her. One media outlet went as far as to claim this relationship began before my father even passed. They were painting Hartman as a saint and her as some kind of black widow. I was seething.

This wasn’t what I expected. I honestly thought the persona of Wicked coming out as Kieran Wick would overshadow any other gossip. I assumed the crazed media circus would dig into my father’s past, uncovering what a sadistic son of a bitch he had been. Instead, they made the woman I loved look as though she left a frail old man to die alone the minute I showed up. I needed to set the record straight, but as long as I stayed abroad, I couldn’t do that.

My agent already advised against me speaking out in her defense. He assumed she was just another piece looking for a payday. He was an idiot, considering, currently, she had more money than I did. It had been less than fourteen days since it came out, and every minute, it was getting worse. It wouldn’t be long until they exposed the truth about her marriage to my father. Those people would never believe the veracity of her claims. I’m sure my father covered his tracks well. High society was always going to protect one of their own. Elle had been nothing but an outsider from the beginning. This was a hornets’ nest I should have never kicked.

As soon as we landed, I was bombarded by photographers, some legit, but mostly paparazzi looking for a scandalous morsel for their weekly rag.

“No comment. Now FUCK OFF,” I shouted as I flipped them all my middle finger. I was sure my agent would have comments about that little exchange.

My car and driver were waiting as I ran toward it, followed by flashing bulbs and attempts to solicit some type of response from me. I wanted to go to Salacity immediately. I had to find out how bad this really was and what kind of damage control was necessary. Right now, I was cursing myself for not supporting her fears. I was an idiot with good intentions.

I had my driver drop me off at my usual hotel as a ruse to throw off the paparazzi. I checked in, planning to take another car to the gallery. Once I got to my suite, I quickly changed clothes and found an exit leading to an alley. I sent a text to my secondary driver, and he showed up two minutes later. We arrived at Salacity in ten minutes. Shock hit me as I noticed how vacant the entrance was. There were literally no people. Not even the media. Hell, maybe this wasn’t as bad as I thought. I tried the door before I noticed the CLOSED sign.

I knocked several times, when I saw Coco slide back the curtain to see who it was. She opened the door and stepped aside to let me in.

“Where is she? I flew home as soon as I heard,” I asked, scanning around a once flourishing gallery that now appeared a ghost town. “All of this is because of us? Where is everyone? This is insanity.” Guilt coursed through my veins as I realized I had destroyed her life’s dream.

“Well, our clients bought a few paintings a week ago. I guess they wanted something from Salacity and her infamous owners before we declared bankruptcy.”

“You’re just going to pack it in after a couple weeks? That doesn’t make sense. The gossip will die down. It always does. This place can survive some bad press. You just have to hang in there.”

Coco shook her head as she motioned me to follow her. We walked back to what I assumed was Elle’s office. It had been cleared out. Only two chairs and a desk remained.

“Jesus, it’s not that bad. All this bullshit will die down. I promise. I don’t believe both of you are this quick to throw away your life’s passion.” I collapsed in a chair, running my hand across my chin. “This can be fixed. It just requires patience, fortitude, and trust.”

She started laughing sarcastically. “Look around, Kieran. Everything and everyone is gone, including trust. Elle fired everyone. She couldn’t figure out how the press found out. She concluded it had to be Bo’s boyfriend Cliff that leaked the story. Oh, you haven’t met Cliff. That’s right. He’s the one who removed your fucking gold ring from my best friend and helped drug you. He’s the only one that knew any details besides me. I’m not even sure she trusts me anymore.”

Self-condemnation hit me as I sat. I had caused all of this. I had wrecked her life by opening my mouth. And in the process, I’d shattered any hope of us having a life together. The one thing I wanted the most had slipped out of my grasp because I was too impatient. Any trust I might have earned in her eyes would be gone. What I’d done would make her hate me.

That would make two of us.

“It wasn’t him. I mentioned a few things at the reveal, and then I… phoned in an anonymous tip to the
New York Times
.”
Fuck, why couldn’t I just wait?

I prepared for a slap as she rushed toward me.

“Why? Why would you do this? I thought you loved her. Was this your plan all along? To have her fall in love with you, then crush her?” she screamed.

I stood up to face her. “My only intention was to force her hand. I had no fucking idea it would go like this. I was convinced her fear was just an overreaction. I didn’t know. I just wanted a life with her. I hoped this might pressure her to live with me in Paris. Some place we would have a real chance to be together. I did this because I do love her and it was my only hope for us to be together.”

“You’re a stupid little boy. Do you honestly think she’ll forgive all of this? You ruined her business. Her reputation is shit. She fired people we’ve known for years because she thought they betrayed her. She has to live in seclusion now because of what you
wanted
. All of this fucking chaos because of
your
needs,
your
desires. You are as selfish and arrogant as your father was. The apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. You know, I warned her about you. When she finds out, she’ll wish she had listened.”

Coco was right. I never believed her apprehension about going public, maybe because Europeans didn’t put much stock in gossip that had to do with affairs of the heart. It didn’t matter because, right now, anything I said would be an excuse. I had caused all of this because I believed our only chance for a relationship lay elsewhere. My goal had been to make New York unbearable. My reasons wouldn’t matter, because she would never forgive me.

“Just go, please. I have the urge right now to hurt you. Just think about the fact that not only did you devastate Elle’s life, but mine along with others. Kieran, you’re like a wrecking ball in a house of dominos. I feel sorry for you because I do believe you actually love her, and after what you’ve done, you’ve got zero chance in hell of fixing this.”

I slowly walked toward the door and turned around to take one last look at the devastation I caused. The odds of her understanding why I did it were not in my favor, but I had to try. My next and final stop was the mansion. It wasn’t in my nature to get nervous about anything, yet here I was sitting in the backseat, worrying what lay ahead. I didn’t think my pretty-boy looks were going to get me out of this.

I wasn’t this man, the one who dreaded confrontation. I’d had many in my life. I wasn’t a person who idly sat by without rocking the boat. I enjoyed causing havoc. The operative word being
had
. I knew people thought I’d been handed everything, especially now because I was Hartman Wick’s son. But I had struggled and fought from an early age when my mother and I were forced to leave America. School in Paris was rough. I had no desire to learn the language. I chose instead to pick up only certain phrases. That barrier kept me silent most of the time. I didn’t want any relationships. I’d already lost all of my friends when we ran. My mother and I stayed guarded for the first year. It wasn’t until I had sex that I discovered I no longer had to struggle. All I needed was painting and fucking. Those two things satisfied me and fulfilled my life.

When she died, I could almost accept it as an act of God. Shit happened to good people. But when I found out why she died and how it could have been prevented, I spiraled out of control. My entire world imploded with drugs, booze, and sex. I yearned for revenge, too. I lived that lifestyle until I was twenty and chose to spend the next four years scheming ways to end him. To kill my father.

Who knows if it was fate or just bizarre luck when the bastard died? Maybe it was the universe telling me I would be better at painting than prison. But my thirst for retribution wasn’t quenched. I felt unsatisfied that I hadn’t been a part of it or at least witnessed his demise. Therefore, I set my sights on his wife.

I used Preston’s affection toward my mother and me to get him to help me wage this war. I never confided in him the actual cause surrounding her death because I was afraid he’d be the one to wield justice instead of me. And at the time, it’s all I lived for. But then the old man croaked, and I was forced to choose an alternate to pay for his sins. As soon as Preston found out my new purpose, he tried many times to tell me I was wrong and I was directing my hate at an innocent person, but I didn’t want to hear it. I just blamed it on him being too much of a coward.

I realized now that he thought Elle could resurrect me. I was so close to the edge when we met no one could have pulled me back. The cruelty of my words and my actions should have made her run. I wanted to believe it was all because of the gallery and money that she stayed, but I now realized it was because she and I were tied emotionally and physically. I wished I could take this all back. She’d already endured five years of hell with my father. I wanted to give her the life she deserved and earned. All of this would mean nothing if she didn’t give me clemency.

I never felt more like puking as I did coming up her drive. She was waiting outside. Her arms crossed and her lips fixed. Fucking Coco had warned her I was coming, and from her body language, it was clear she knew what I’d done.

“No need to get out of the car. Just go the same way you came,” she hissed, pointing to the exit.

I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. “She called, didn’t she?” I asked as I mumbled an array of expletives beneath my breath.

“Yes, Kieran, that’s what friends do. They take care of each other. It’s called mutual trust and respect. Two words that obviously aren’t in your vocabulary.”

I moved close enough that I could see dark circles beneath her eyes from lack of sleep and lines across her forehead from worry.

“Can I please explain at least? Let me tell you why I did it.”

She looked at the driver, then at me. “You have five minutes. I suggest you tell him to wait. It’s a long walk back to Soho.”

I walked past her as she opened the front door.

Once inside, she closed it with a slam. “You’re on the clock, so tick-tock, start talking.” I began reaching for her. “No, Kieran, your amorous personality isn’t going to work anymore. You stay over there and rattle off all the lame-ass excuses you have for upending my life.”

“I love you.”

She started laughing, almost hysterically. It sounded like amusement mixed with sobs. “You love me? Please. Not only do you not know the definition of trust, but obviously, the word love needs to be translated. Want clarification in French?”

I flinched at her coldness. “Goddammit, Elle, I did all of this because I love you, and I thought once it was out in the open, the hype would die down and we could have a normal life. You can still come and live with me in Paris. They don’t care about this shit. You could still have your dreams. Why does it have to be here? Why can’t it be with me?”