Wicked Proposition (23 page)

“He hired a very competent detective to
investigate his wife, Catherine,” Nicholas informed her with a
slight sneer. “Do you think he will not find out all you have been
doing? You have never seen Gabriel when he is angry, love. He is
not especially forgiving either.”

“You ask me to leave him and go to you?” she
flung angrily. “That will make him happy, you think?”

“He will not stand in our way, Catherine,” he
argued and glared at her. “He might be angry, but he would get over
it.”

“You don’t feel badly at all, do you? You are
his friend!” she raged in fury as she wiped at her tears, hating
him for forcing her to see the truth. “If I leave him at all, I am
going home. I am not trading one arrangement for another. I will
take what you have promised me and go.”

“You feel guilt finally?” he asked coldly as he
reached out and took the empty glass from her and set it aside.
“Think of how I feel. When you are gone, I will still be here. I
will remember you then, Catherine, not him. He will find another to
console him. I will always recall how I betrayed him just to have
you, and it was not worth it at all.”

Catherine cringed at his biting words. She bit
her lip as he rose and went to his desk.

She watched him in bruised silence count out the
three thousand pounds and gave her the documents. Nicholas then
snatched up his clothes. He slammed the door when he left, making
her flinch. She now knew how it truly felt to be used like a whore
and felt as though she could never scrub herself clean again.

Catherine rose and dressed quickly, her hands
shaking as she pulled her dress over her head and fumbled to right
it. She found her stockings and shoes strewn about the carpet. Her
hands trembled as she pulled them on, wondering where Nicholas
went.

Catherine stuffed the money and papers into her
reticule then, fresh tears forming to see the proof of her sins.
She reminded herself all she did had been necessary to get back
home, but the devastating pain it caused was too much to bear.

A voice in the back of her mind taunted her,
reminding her she had a choice in all of this.

She could have faced Gabriel’s wrath with the
truth. In the very beginning, she might have even begged for his
help, but she hadn’t. She had gone to Nicholas’s bed to avoid
seeing that very real disdain in Gabriel’s eyes. She had more than
condemned herself now by hiding behind all of her lies.

The truth hurt worse to know Nicholas was right.
Gabriel might enjoy her, but he would discard her like his other
mistresses in the past. He had plans to remarry as well. Truth was
a bitter pill. She wept to know she had avoided looking too closely
at what she was doing.

All along she had a choice in this. It had been
far easier to go along with Lilly. It had brought her nothing but
sorrow and regret. She avoided looking at herself in the mirror,
feeling bruised by her own handling, and no other’s.

Catherine was numb inside now, no longer caring
what others saw when they looked at her. She had reached the bottom
of the spiraling fall that began the day her parents died. She hit
the ground now and did not bounce upward. She lay broken and unable
to move. Embittered green eyes looked away from her repaired
reflection.

Catherine went below and Hennessey informed her
Van Ryker’s coach was waiting out front to take her home. She
didn’t care if Nicholas saw her on her way. She preferred to avoid
facing him now. Nicholas’s cold, brutal words had brought
everything tumbling down around her now. He forced her to admit too
many things about herself she would have liked to avoid
knowing.

Just thinking of the unspeakable passion he had
unleashed within her made her stiffen and push those carnal images
away. Catherine believed she loved Gabriel, and was confused to
have these feelings for Nicholas too. She would think of him no
more. He got what he paid for.

Catherine spoke with the driver. He consented to
take her down to the docks before taking her home. She stared out
the window moodily until they arrived. She found the shipping
office and secured passage back to Dublin. The ship would leave in
a month’s time. She paid for her ticket, counting out the money to
the clerk.

###

Three weeks had passed since her afternoon with
Nicholas, and she could no longer deny this newest truth. She was
with child. Her monthly time, which was always on the mark, had
passed.

Gabriel had also not used precautions the day in
the study weeks before. She soaked in the tub brooding. The
insidious truth wormed its way to the surface. She could not know
which man fathered the child, and was in denial of her
situation.

Catherine had not thought of this when she
agreed to this arrangement. Pain tore at her heart to know she had
sunk even lower than she could have ever imagined. Gabriel was even
more attentive to her now, which made her writhe in guilt. He
spared little expense to entertain her. They went out nightly to
musicals, the opera, and any play that caught her fancy.

One part of her wanted the uncouth sea captain,
try as she might to deny it. She was furious to have gotten
immersed in such an impossible tangle. She could have neither one
of them. The water grew chilled and she rose from the tub. Mrs.
Whitley helped her towel dry. She missed the woman’s knowing look
at the increasing fullness of her breasts. The woman said nothing
and helped her to dress.

Gabriel was taking her riding in the park this
afternoon and she was eager to meet him in the foyer to show him
the new riding habit she had delivered the day before. The dark,
blue velvet brought out the lights in her hair. The jaunty little
black hat perched upon her head with its feathers and the hint of a
veil gave her the look of an aristocratic lady. She donned the
black riding boots and matching gloves and made ready to join
him.

The thought of the child growing within her gave
her a reason to leave now. Not being sure who fathered it made her
decision even easier. She could not deceive either man anymore

###

Mrs. Whitley had no choice but to walk the
twelve blocks to seek out Lilly. The Countess greeted her with an
icy glare.

“You took your time in coming to me,” Lilly rose
from the settee and eyed the woman darkly. “What have you
learned?”

“She is with child, my lady. I’m sure of
it.”

The housekeeper gazed at the Countess with a
smug look. The Countess had promised her a considerable sum to
deliver the news.

Mrs. Whitley had seen the signs too many times
with her mother having born eight children to not know the Earl’s
mistress was increasing. Catherine was nearly a month along by her
estimation. Mrs. Whitley had kept track of her courses from the
moment the girl arrived.

The Countess smiled tightly and sat back in her
chair and sipped her tea thoughtfully.

“You are very sure?” she asked intently.

“There is no mistake, my lady,” Mrs. Whitley
said evenly.

Lilly smiled smugly. She decided it was time she
had a long overdue chat with her husband.

Gabriel read the message he received from
Lillianne’s footman that morning with a frown. He crumpled it in
his fist and wondered at his wife’s motives.

They had not spoken in months. Her sudden
turnabout and willingness to discuss a settlement made him
instantly suspicious. He was eager to get the matter behind him,
however.

Gabriel turned away from the window of his study
where he had been watching Catherine cut roses in the garden. He
smiled fondly as he remembered how they had spent the last
weeks.

Gabriel enjoyed his mistress’s company more than
anything else of late. She was a delight. He found he was eager to
be free of his marriage even more now. He was pleased with how the
girl had come around, and was further enchanted as each new day
came and went in her eager arms.

He had put off his meetings with Mr. Hines
enough to enjoy Catherine’s charming company. He realized he had to
get back to important matters at hand. Ending his marriage played
foremost in his mind.

Gabriel sighed as he looked back out the window
and watched her gather the blooms in the basket and walk to another
bush. It was too bad he could not marry her once he was free. His
mother was appalled when he let her know his intentions.

The idea shocked him as well. True, he had never
followed society’s dictates, but some things were unequivocally
true. She would not be accepted in his world, and their future
children would be scorned and mocked. Still, the vision of her as
his wife persisted until he gave into it. These feelings he had
were amazing and a shock to him. He realized he loved her.

Gabriel knew he could offer her nothing until he
was free. That would be soon. He had incentive now. He must meet
with Lillianne to divine what her terms to a settlement entailed.
Maybe the woman realized it was better to agree, rather than have
their sordid business dragged through society.

Gabriel left to see Mr. Hines, thoughts of his
lovely mistress not far from his mind. He smiled as he thought of a
gift he would purchase for her on his way home.

###

Catherine was enjoying the warmth of the fall
day as she gathered roses for their table. She had been working
with Cook on all Gabriel’s favorite dishes, and decided to surprise
him this night at dinner. It would be their last night
together.

It had not been easy to put her encounter with
Nicholas out of her mind. He had kept his end of their bargain, and
said nothing to Gabriel. Nicholas ceased to follow her when she
went out. He took her at her word her supposed involvement with
Edward Thornton was over. She allowed him to believe she was the
dutiful mistress now, and took some satisfaction the thought might
bother him.

Sometimes she dreamed of her dark lover, and
woke disturbed by her continued lingering on what happened between
them. She pushed thoughts of Nicholas aside. Catherine regarded her
pregnancy as a secret she would take with her when she left London.
The thought of having the child no longer horrified her as it had
at first. She could not be sure who fathered the child, as she had
feared.

Catherine stubbornly refused to believe her
child was the result of her single, desperate dalliance with
Nicholas. It did not matter to her. She would love the child no
matter who it’s father, and swore she would protect it. Her trunk
was packed and ready. When Gabriel left to attend to his morning
business calls tomorrow, she would leave as well.

Catherine knew the matter of Thomas Sullivan
posing as Edward was unresolved. She felt the matter was out of her
hands and she had other considerations now. She had a child to
think about and Jaime and Cullen’s welfare as well.

Lilly had not contacted her in weeks. She knew
her sister hovered like a malevolent spider over her now. The
petition was now in the courts, waiting to be heard. Gabriel had
dismissed Edward Thornton. Thomas Hines was now pushing the matter
forward. Catherine knew it was not the news Lilly wanted to hear,
and could imagine her sister blamed her for it. He would have his
freedom.

Gabriel was determined to be free of his wife.
Catherine had done all she could to stall his efforts. Lilly could
not fault her for that. She was apprehensive, knowing no payment
would be forthcoming from Lilly. She faced it with stark
apprehension on her return to Dunleavy Hall. Lilly would not have
the means to help them now.

Catherine left the money she owed Gabriel in his
desk in his room, with a note attached to it. He would find it when
he looked for her. She hoped he regarded her obligation to him had
been met.

Catherine had taken only five hundred pounds of
the money Nicholas had given her. She reasoned she had enough to
see her home and see to their needs until a long term solution was
found. She imagined Nicholas would be pleased to learn she was gone
as well. He had arrived to see Gabriel several times these last
weeks, and she had stayed out of sight during those visits,
pleading a headache to avoid those knowing blue eyes.

A part of her knew he came to see her.

She was right.

He found her in the library the last time he was
there. She had tensed to see him, disgusted with how her pulses
danced at the sight of him.

“What do you want, Nicholas?” she had said,
careful to keep her voice down.

He looked out of sorts, his blue eyes troubled
as they met hers. “End this now, Catherine,” he whispered low and
warningly. “Come away with me tonight. He need never know.”

“I am going home, Nicholas,” she informed him
under her breath. “I meant what I said. I have no plans to trade
arrangements here. You got what you wanted! Be happy of it!”

“I am not happy of it,” he growled fiercely. “I
cannot stop thinking of you, Catherine. You feel the same!”

“I don’t!”

“You do!” he argued hotly and approached, making
her back into the shelf of books. “You might care for Gabriel, but
you care for me as well. Don’t bother to deny it.”

“I have ruined any chance for anything good to
come of my time here, Nicholas,” she replied bleakly and avoided
his gaze. “I could never forget how we met, or what I did to
Gabriel, or you.”

“I don’t care, Catherine,” he said, his heart in
his eyes. “I take you knowing all of that.”

Nicholas left her with that, and said he would
be waiting for her at his ship the following week. She watched him
leave and felt her heart catch. A part of her wanted to go with
him, the other part wanted to stay with Gabriel. She could have
neither.

Catherine had thought to feel overwhelming guilt
when she returned from Nicholas’s house that day. She had sat in a
tub for hours and stewed over it until the water went cold,
appalled she could do such sordid things with another man besides
Gabriel.