Wicked Memories (CASTLE OF DARK DREAMS) (25 page)

“He’s going through this because he chose to help others.” She leaned forward, trying to make Grim understand. “If his goal was just to bring Sparkle down, he didn’t have to persuade those people on the ship, and he didn’t have to use his power on Aegir. He could’ve closed down Nirvana and walked away as soon as he realized the sea god would destroy Sparkle’s business for him. But he stayed.” She looked down at her soup. “I want to give him this. Can you help?”

Grim nodded. “I’ll call my stepmother.”

20

Every time Thorn clawed his way out of hell, Kayla was there with a cool cloth and whispered promises. But it was her “I love you” that he carried into the flames each time the pain grabbed him with its bloody talons.

Fevered, semiconscious dreams had blended with his lucid moments for what seemed an eternity. Thorn couldn’t feed, couldn’t think, couldn’t do more than simply endure. He had no idea how long he’d been down. But the very fact that he could wonder meant he was getting better. Not that he had ever thought he would die. What had driven his terror was the possibility that during one of those moments filled with agony he’d grow weak and use his persuasion to stop the hurting. Then he’d be lost forever.

Kayla had been sitting beside him tonight when he woke, just as she had for all the other pain-filled nights. He’d gotten used to waking up to her.

Thorn didn’t want to blurt out his love while he still felt weak and probably looked like hell. Yes, he had his pride. But he’d tell her. Soon.

It seemed, though, that tonight would be different.

“Time to rise and shine, slacker.” She grinned.

He allowed the warmth of her smile to fill all the cold spots in his heart. “You have something special in mind?”

“I think you’re strong enough now to make it to the bathroom. First we’ll get you out of those sweatpants and then into a nice hot shower.”

Out of pants. Hot shower.
That combination of words had possibilities. Something stirred that hadn’t done much of anything for a few weeks. “Sounds like a plan.” The waves of pain had been coming further and further apart. And when they did come now, he could handle them. He no longer had to be tied to his bed. “Do I get my back scrubbed?”

“That can be arranged.”

She smiled, but he could see uncertainty in her eyes.

Grim came upstairs to help him into the shower and then left. Jeez, just walking a few feet and shucking his pants had tired him. Where was all his vaunted vampire strength? Kick him if he ever used persuasion again.

He was considering how long he could stand in the shower before collapsing when Kayla entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

“One back scrub coming up.” She didn’t smile as she slowly stripped off her top, slid her jeans down over her hips, unhooked her bra and dropped it to the floor, and then shimmied out of her panties. He knew there was a reason he loved his clear glass shower.

Thorn glanced down.
Yes
, he was alive.

She padded on bare feet to the shower and slipped in behind him. He turned the spray on with hands that shook, and not from weakness. Thorn had promised himself there’d be other showers, but he hadn’t quite had this in mind.

Kayla reached around his body to cup him. “Soon. But not tonight.”

Soon
. A popular word. Thorn knew she was right, though. Jeez, he could hardly stand up. Sex would kill him. But that didn’t stop him from reverting to the six-year-old he’d been a thousand years ago who would cross his arms over his chest, stick out his bottom lip, and shout, “But I
want
to.”

He didn’t speak as she soaped up the washcloth and smoothed it over his shoulders, his back, his buttocks, and then his legs. Thorn locked his knees in place so they wouldn’t shake.

Kayla reached for the handheld shower and quickly rinsed away the soap. After she replaced the handheld, he started to turn so she could do his front.
Eager much?

“No. Wait.” She sank to her knees behind him.

He didn’t get a chance to ask what she was doing before he felt her fingers slide over his butt cheek followed almost immediately by a sharp sting. Thorn widened his eyes. “You bit my ass?”

Kayla stood, wrapped both arms around him, and molded her body to his back. For a moment he was speechless as he tried to find a coherent thought beyond the sensation of her soft breasts pressed against him. She was shaking. Crying? Panicked, he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong. Then he realized she was laughing.
Laughing?

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

“But you
bit
me.” He couldn’t get past that. “Why?” Not that he really cared. He was willing to take any bodily contact she was willing to give.

“Practice.”

He just stopped himself from repeating the word out loud. Thorn rolled it around in his mind. Looked at it from all angles. Practice for what? And when the answer came, it struck him speechless. Not an affliction he suffered from often. He’d save the discussion of “practice” for another time and place.

Silently, he watched her wash his chest and arms before moving down to his thighs and legs. The feel of the washcloth moving over his skin soothed him at the same time it annoyed the hell out of a part of him that felt she should be using her hands. He tried to ignore that voice. The one that didn’t run its opinions through his brain first.

Finally, she handed him the cloth to complete the job. The fact that she stood watching while he handled himself didn’t help matters. And her beautiful breasts gleaming wetly almost brought him to his knees. Not that weakness wasn’t close to putting him there anyway.

The last thing she did was wash his hair. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her fingers massaging his scalp. After the final rinse, she turned off the water.

Thorn was a detail man, so he noticed that one drop still clung stubbornly to her nipple. Before she could step away, he leaned down and licked the drop away.

He heard her gasp and reveled in it. “We’ll do this again when I’m stronger.” Thorn hoped she read the intent in his eyes, because he sure wasn’t trying to hide it.

The next few minutes were filled with bliss as she dried his body with a soft towel. Then she helped him climb into a fresh pair of pants.

“Will you be okay alone to shave and brush your teeth?”

He was a vampire. He was strong. All right, so semi-strong. No way would he admit that teeth-brushing and shaving were in the same category as bench-pressing a thousand pounds right now. “Sure. No problem.”

Her smile held a secret. “Great. That’ll give me a chance to change your sheets.”

Thorn frowned as he watched her leave. He didn’t like the idea of her doing stuff like that for him. He wanted to pamper her. Forever. He thought about forever as he dried his hair, brushed his teeth, and shaved.

Grim was the one who came to help him back to his room.

“Where’s Kayla?” Did he sound possessive? That’s how Thorn felt, but he didn’t want to
sound
that way. Women hated possessive men. But it was in his vampire nature to guard and protect what he thought of as his. Of course, she’d gotten in his face more than once when he’d tried to tell her what to do. He smiled at the memories.

“She’s downstairs. She’ll be up in a few minutes.” Grim had settled him back into bed quickly. Then he left without saying anything more.

Strange. Grim liked to talk. But Thorn didn’t get a chance to wonder about Grim’s quietness before he heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
Two
sets of footsteps. Grim had just left, so he wouldn’t be returning with Kayla. Then who? She hadn’t mentioned any visitors.

He watched the door, tension filling him even though he had no reason to feel it. One of the guys from Nirvana had probably stopped by, and Kayla had felt Thorn was well enough to see him.

The door opened and Kayla stepped into the room. There was a man behind her. Instead of walking over to Thorn’s bed, she simply stepped aside.

Thorn stared at the man filling the doorway. And saw himself.

“Hi, son.”

The stranger who wore his face walked over and sat on the chair by his bed. “Hope you’re feeling better.”

Thorn couldn’t stop staring at the man’s face.
His
dark hair,
his
eyes,
his
mouth. “Father?”

If Kayla had given him time to prepare, Thorn probably would have rolled out his father’s name, Rolf. Because the father he knew had died the night he rejected his son. But shock had crumpled Thorn’s defenses, and he spoke the first word that entered his mind.

“It’s been a long time.” His father folded and unfolded his hands.

Then not as calm as he looked. That made Thorn feel better. He didn’t want to be the only one who felt his world had just shattered and left him staring at the pieces.

“Your woman and Grim tracked me down. Don’t know how they did it. I’ll never be able to repay them. I’ve searched for you everywhere. Damn, but you change your name a lot.” His smile was tentative.

Thorn looked past his father to where “your woman” was glaring at Dad’s back. “Kayla is a miracle worker.” He hoped she understood that her “miracle” included everything she’d done for him since the moment they’d met.

She met Thorn’s gaze and smiled. “I’ll leave you and your father alone. Call if you need anything.” Then she left.

Thorn fought for control. So many emotions. His first instinct was to lash out at his father. But surprisingly, he realized his anger felt old and tired. Just as his love for Sparkle had faded, his fury at his father had lost its intensity over the centuries. That didn’t mean he was ready to forget everything.

“Why did you want to see me? You were pretty clear about your feelings the last time we were together.” Thorn didn’t try to keep the bitterness from his voice.

His father looked away. “I was dealing with a lot of guilt and denial at the time. I reacted by striking out at you. By the time I realized what I’d said, you were gone.”

“Guilt and denial?” This was news to Thorn.

“I caused everything that happened.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “The cosmic troublemaker that sold you into slavery and then killed your mom, sister, and brother came to the village looking for me.”

Thorn didn’t speak, didn’t blink, didn’t even try to think. Once again he was back in that small village, the cold biting into him as he wrestled with his own guilt and played the if-I-had-only game.

His father stared at the far wall, avoiding his son’s eyes. “The bastard had been after me to capture slaves for him on my raids. Others did it, but I refused. You were his revenge. What better punishment than to know my son was a slave? Your mother, brother, and sister died because they were easy prey.”

“Because I wasn’t there. Because—”

“Stop.” His father leaned toward him. “It wasn’t
your
fault. Anymore than it was your mother’s fault for not staying in the village. Do you think I haven’t looked back and wished that I’d come home a week earlier, given him the damn slaves he wanted, killed the bastard when I first met him? Life happens, and we don’t have the luxury of knowing the future.” He closed his eyes. “God knows how I’ve regretted so many things, but probably my greatest regret is how I treated you.”

The silence was alive with emotions, too many for Thorn to handle. “Who was he? I want his name.”

His father opened his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Caveen. But he doesn’t matter anymore.” Something deadly crept into his voice. “I made it my life’s mission to make sure he paid for everything. I asked questions until I found out that someone called the Big Boss was in charge of all cosmic troublemakers. For centuries I searched for this guy. Finally I found him.” He smiled, but it was a cold smile. “Luckily for me, the Big Boss has dealt with our clan before. He likes us. Unluckily for Caveen, he’d pissed off the Big Boss one too many times.”

Thorn propped himself up higher in his bed. He wished he were sitting in a chair. He had enough pride not to want his father to see him weakened. “So what did the Big Boss do?”

“He destroyed him.”

“I didn’t believe anyone could kill one of them.” Thorn thought about Ganymede. If the cat didn’t get his head together soon, he might see the end of his long existence.

“The Big Boss did it. I saw the bastard die.”

Silence filled the room. Thorn knew what happened next was up to him. He could hold tight to the rage and hurt from so many centuries ago. Or he could allow those emotions to slide back into the past.

Thorn looked away from his father. Who was left to hate? The man who’d destroyed his family was dead. Sparkle was guilty of nothing worse than dumping him. And his father had searched for him, cared about him. And what had Thorn done? He’d nursed his anger and not once had he tried to find his father.

Leaning his head back against his pillow, Thorn mentally dug a deep hole on some barren hillside and buried the past with all its pain. Forever.

“So, Dad. What’re you doing with your life?” Yes, his father could be “Dad” to him in this time and place. Thorn smiled and meant it.

His father’s expression relaxed into a grin. And if his eyes looked a little damp, neither of them mentioned it.

“I design robots.”

“No kidding.” Thorn laughed. He couldn’t help imagining. Robots for Nirvana. Sure, the pier was gone. But that didn’t mean it couldn’t rise again. “Ever consider changing jobs? I have an offer you can’t turn down.” Crap. Wrong wording. “Scratch that. I have an offer you’ll love.”

“Let’s hear it.”

* * *

Kayla sat in the kitchen drinking coffee alone. They’d been in Thorn’s bedroom for hours and both of them were still alive, so all was good. So many things could’ve gone wrong. And once again she questioned whether she’d had the right to meddle in Thorn’s family business no matter how well-meaning she’d been.

She was setting herself up for heartbreak. Maybe he didn’t want her inserting herself into every aspect of his life. Kayla had descended on him when he was at his most vulnerable and maybe now that he was growing stronger he’d want her gone.

Once again she thought about the life-changing decision she’d made once she knew she loved him. No one could ever say she hadn’t understood what she’d be losing. She would become vampire and never again walk in the sunlight or eat a pizza. She’d watch her family grow old and die while she remained twenty-seven. But Kayla was willing to accept those sacrifices for the joy of loving him for the next thousand years.
If he loved her.
He hadn’t said the words yet.