Wicked and Dangerous (25 page)

Lifting her chin, she said, “You can’t tell me what to do, Scott. You
lost
that right.”

“It’s not gonna happen, Lily.” He felt a muscle pulsing in the hard line of his jaw.
“He never gets to lay a fucking finger on you.”

Unable to believe his freaking audacity, Lily fought the urge to stomp her foot and
scream. “Hello? Are you listening? You don’t get to make those decisions for me.”

From the corner of her eye, she caught a flash of Mike’s dark expression as Ryder
came even closer. So close that she had to tilt her head back to hold his blistering
glare. “Let me make this clear for you, Lily. You let him touch you, he dies.”

“You can’t kill every man who touches me!”

“I’ll be the
only
man touching you!”

“Why?” she shot back, jabbing her finger into his rock-solid chest. “You don’t even
want me!”

“Not want you?” he grunted. He gave his head a hard shake, looking as if he was having
trouble believing what she’d said. “Christ, woman. I want you so fucking bad it’s
driving me out of my goddamn mind. I want you so much I can’t fucking think straight
half the time!” he roared, and then his mouth was on hers, his hands on her body,
and Lily suddenly found herself on her back on the hood of the black Porsche that
was parked beside his Jeep. The skirt she was wearing made it easy for him as he shoved
her legs apart and pushed between them, kissing her even harder as she tried to resist.
But it was impossible. She loved his mouth and his taste too much. Damn it, even hurt
and pissed off at him, she still
loved
him
, contrary, confusing son of a bitch that he was.

“We can’t do this,” she hissed, breaking away from the kiss to gasp for air. “We’re
not alone out here. Mike is with us.”

He locked his sharp gaze with hers, breathing in rough, uneven bursts. “Did you know
he’s into threesomes? And I’m not talking girl-on-girl action. I’m talking two men
pounding into a woman at the same time.”

“Yeah? Sounds interesting,” she drawled, knowing it would only make him angrier.

He leaned down and put his lips against her ear. “Keep pushing me and I’ll fuck you
right here, Lily. I’ll bare that beautiful little pussy between your legs and let
him watch it swallow every inch of
my
cock until he gets the picture,” he threatened in a guttural rasp. “No other man
touches you!”

She was so outraged she could barely speak. “So you can screw around but I can’t?”

“I wasn’t screwing around!”

“You’re such a liar!” she seethed, putting her hands between them so that she could
shove at his chest. But she only succeeded in getting him to lift his head.

His eyes were narrowed to hot, glittering slits. “I didn’t fuck her. I didn’t even
kiss her on the lips. Just her neck. Which is more than you can say.”

“I kissed him because I was pissed off! I’ve never been angrier with anyone than I
am with you right now!”

“You didn’t look like you were hating it!” he shouted, straightening his arms. “You
looked ready to screw him on the fucking dance floor!”

Seeing red, Lily slapped him with as much force as she could while lying beneath him,
struggling like crazy as he caught her wrists and slammed them down on the hood of
the Porsche. “You don’t get to judge me,” she yelled, glaring into his hard-set face
when he looked back down at her. “If I want to kiss another man, I’ll kiss another
man. I’ll do whatever I want with him!”

“The hell you will!”

“You can’t stop me!”

“You wanna bet, Lil? Because this is
mine
,” he growled, letting go of her wrists so that he could rear back and shove her skirt
up to her waist. She gasped, too shocked to try to stop him when he ripped her panties
off, no doubt giving Mike an embarrassing shot of her intimate bits before Ryder suddenly
shoved his face against her. He went at her slick flesh like a man who’d been starved
for years, using his lips and tongue and teeth. He thrust his tongue into her snug
opening, fucking her with it, and she dug her nails into his broad shoulders, screaming
from the onslaught of sensation. Hot, wet, melting her down into a molten glow. Her
skin misted with sweat, mouth open, lungs gasping for air as she shivered and cried
out. She knew she should shove him away and tell him to fuck off, but she couldn’t.
Instead, she braced her feet on the Porsche’s hood and shoved herself against his
mouth, trapped by her own desperate desire. By her need and want and all the unforgivably
stupid shit that was going to land her in a world of heartbreak. He was meant to be
her treat. She wasn’t supposed to get hung up and serious about him. Just mutual sexual
gratification to finally scratch her itch and get him out of her system, before she
either died or he walked away. Instead, she’d gone and admitted she was in love with
the arrogant, know-everything, have-it-his-way jackass. And now look at her. God,
she was so easy when it came to Scott Ryder it was embarrassing!

When she’d finally stopped sobbing and screaming from the violent force of her release,
he pressed his forehead to her stomach, his hands keeping a firm grip on her waist.
She blinked up at the stars in the nighttime sky, then glanced a little off to her
left, and her eyes connected with Mike’s burning gaze before he quickly looked away,
scanning the parking lot with a strained expression.
Ohmygod
. She was so embarrassed she thought she might pass out.

“Scott, let me go,” she whispered, surprised by the ravaged sound of her voice.

He lifted his head, his expression as hard as the gritty “No” that left his lips.

“I’m so pissed at you,” she snapped, bracing herself on her elbows. “I’m even more
pissed at you for making me come!”

“Yeah, I know.” He ran his tongue over his lower lip, licking the glistening juices
she’d left there. “Be pissed, Lil. But it isn’t going to change anything. I’m just
going to shove my tongue up your cunt again and make you come until you’re ready to
give me what I want.”

“You sadistic son of a bitch! What is that?”

He scooted down a little to lick her tight, throbbing clit, and she actually whimpered.
Keeping his lips against her, he locked his heavy-lidded gaze with hers and said,
“I’ll tell you what it is when I’ve gotten it. In the meantime, I want my tongue back
inside you. I want to feel your juicy little pussy coming all over my face. So go
ahead and keep yelling at me, Lily. It just makes me want to go down on you even more.
I could eat your sweet little cunt out all night long and never get tired.”

Oh, God
. If she didn’t put a stop to this now, she was lost. She loved him too much to win
against him. But he was already going at her again, and she was powerless against
the waves that slammed into her, her second climax hitting her so fast he didn’t even
have to work for it. It swelled through her like a storm, the hot, vital throb of
pleasure leaving her utterly destroyed.

And completely at his mercy.

•   •   •

FORCING HIMSELF TO
stop licking her before she got too sensitive, Ryder rested his forehead against her
stomach again as he tried to catch his breath, his body burning with need. His cock
was so hard he was a little surprised the jeans had managed to contain him. When he
could finally breathe without worrying he was going to blow his load, he turned his
head and looked at Mike.

“Point taken,” Mike drawled with a tight smile, pushing his hands in his front pockets.
“Now maybe you should tell her the truth about what you’re doing here, before she
decides to smash your nuts in.”

“You figured it out?” he asked, pulling her skirt down for her before he straightened
and took a step back.

He caught Mike’s nod when he looked his way again. “It took me a moment, but I’ve
got it. I had to think about the hair and build. She was the right height. Had the
right coloring.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lily frown as she hopped off the Porsche’s hood,
and knew she was wondering what the hell Mike was talking about. “What did you figure
out?” she asked Mike. But Mike just looked at him, waiting for him to explain.

Locking his gaze on Lily’s strained face, Ryder finally forced out the truth, knowing
that if he didn’t do it now he was going to lose her forever. “It wasn’t what you
thought.”

“Don’t try to—”

He gripped her chin, cutting her off. “You’re going to listen to me, so shut up and
focus.”

She glared, but didn’t say anything.

“I was
not
on a date with that woman. I was trying to pull off an op.”

She actually laughed as she jerked her chin from his grip. “Oh, God. You must think
I’m so stupid if you expect me to believe that.”

With a fierce scowl, he said, “I admit that it wasn’t my smartest idea, and I was
wrong not to tell you. But I’ve been out of my mind worrying about you. So cut me
some fucking slack.”

“You honestly expect me to believe it was an op? You were licking her neck!”

“It was an act. I needed it to look real.” Exhaling a rough breath, he shoved his
hair back from his brow. “It’s the truth, Lil. I was trying to draw Rado out with
a decoy.”

“A decoy?”

His voice was raw. “I wanted him to think she was you and make a move on us. I want
this shit to be over.”

Lily pulled her bottom lip through her teeth, wanting to believe him so badly that
she was afraid to. “I thought
I
was meant to be the bait.”

“Yeah, that was the idea. To get him here. But when it came to putting you out in
the open, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stomach the thought of putting you in danger
like that. It nearly killed me just to think about it.”

“So that woman. Who is she? A cop?”

He jerked his chin down in a stiff nod. “A deputy who works in one of the neighboring
counties. She’s trained to handle these types of situations. If Rado and his men had
tried to jump us when we left here and headed down to the beach for a walk, she would
have been able to take care of herself, giving me the opportunity to take him out.”

“And now?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. “They obviously haven’t caught wind that I’m here.
But if they had, I would have screwed the plan to hell when I went after you.”

“You could have just told me, Scott.”

He tightened his jaw, and she could see the truth in his eyes, even though he didn’t
say a damn thing.

A bitter laugh fell quietly from her lips. “But you were still reeling from what I
said last night, weren’t you? You saw this as a way to push me away. You said you
only kissed her neck, but just how far would you have been willing to go for your
deception?”

“I . . .” He glanced at Mike, then back to her. “Do we have to do this in front of
him?”

Lily smirked. “Why not? This is hardly the time to get shy.”

Ryder cursed under his breath, then cut another lethal look toward Mike. But the jackass
didn’t retreat. Instead, he looked at Lily and asked, “Do you need me to stay?”

Shaking her head, she said, “It’s okay, Mike. I’m sorry for dragging you into this.
Go and enjoy your night.”

“You sure you’re going to be okay?”

She gave him a watery smile. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for your, um . . . help tonight.”

Ryder scowled at the crooked grin Mike gave her in return. “You and I will talk tomorrow,”
he snarled at the smiling jackass.

Mike shot him a wry look. “Whatever you say, man. I’ll just wait until you’ve bundled
her up safely in the Jeep, then follow you back to the safe house.” Lifting his brows,
he added, “Someone’s got to be on watch tonight, right?”

He wanted to argue, but knew he needed the bastard’s help. He jerked his chin in silent
agreement, then looked back at Lily. “Come on. I’m taking you home.”

She shook her head again. “That isn’t my home, Scott.
None
of this is mine. I don’t belong here.”

“Just get in the damn Jeep,” he grunted, knowing that whatever else was said between
them that night, it needed to be done in private.

NINE

THE DRIVE BACK TO THE SAFE HOUSE WAS SHORT, BUT LONG
enough for Lily to work through some things in her head. She listened while Ryder
phoned the female deputy who’d been in his lap, telling her the op was over and that
she could head on home. Then he phoned Ben and told him the plan had fallen through
and that he’d be in touch tomorrow. She was surprised to learn that the sheriff had
known about the op, but then Ben must have been the one who gave the female deputy
the okay to take part. She’d also learned that a backup team of deputies had been
waiting in a car just down the road from the club.

Thank God they hadn’t been parked in the back lot. It was embarrassing enough, what
had happened in front of Mike. She could only be grateful she hadn’t lost her mind
in front of a group of strangers.

Once they were inside the house, Ryder followed her back to her room and shut the
door behind him.

“I’m done,” she said, her arms crossed over her chest as she turned to face him. “We’re
talking
now
. Either you tell me why you left three years ago or I’m leaving.”

His expression was hard, but she could have sworn there was a touch of fear in his
dark eyes. “If you did, you’d be signing your own death warrant.”

“I’m still so upset right now I don’t even care.”

He worked his jaw as he started to pace in front of her, looking as though he was
trying hard to figure out what he should say. “I’ve tried before to protect people
who didn’t give a shit and failed,” he finally told her. “I couldn’t go through that
with you.”

“Are you talking about Rado?”

He slanted her a grim look. “No. I’m talking about before. By the time I met you,
you were a risk I couldn’t afford.”

“I don’t understand.” She frowned with confusion. “What makes you think I would have
been a risk?”

He stopped in front of her, bracing his hands on his hips, and gave a harsh laugh.
“Jesus, Lil. Everything you did back then was a risk.”

“Now wait a damn minute,” she said hotly, unable to believe he was throwing this in
her face. “That’s not fair, Scott. I pushed my limits to help . . . to help deal with
the things I was feeling. You got to run all over the world, blowing things up. Living
on the edge. Getting away from everything.
I
didn’t. I needed something to take my stupid mind off how badly I wanted you! Then
you left, and I . . .”

“You what?” he grunted, when her voice trailed away.

“I . . . changed.” And she had. She’d been broken when he’d left. Crushed. She’d barely
wanted to crawl out of bed and go to work, much less go climbing up the side of a
mountain or jumping out of an airplane. Shaking off the remembered pain, she looked
at him and said, “What happened on that last op in Minsk? What pushed you away from
me?”

At first, Lily didn’t think he was going to answer her. Then he started pacing again,
shoving his hands back through his hair, his voice tight as he said, “I made some
bad calls that got soldiers killed because I knew Radovich was a threat to your family,
which meant he was a threat to you. And I wasn’t willing to live with that.” When
he looked her way again, she flinched under the raw force of his gaze. “When I realized
I was ready to detonate enough explosives to kill an entire city block of innocent
people in order to make sure he could never harm you, I knew it was time I let you
go. That I got the hell away from you.”

Her heart was beating so fast that it hurt, and she swallowed hard. “But you didn’t
do it, Scott.
Wanting
to do something and actually going through with it are two entirely different things.
You
know
that.”

He blew out a rough breath, his tall, muscular body vibing with a vicious tension
as he continued to pace. “But I almost did. Christ, Lily, you have no idea how badly
I wanted to, just so I’d know that bastard could never get to you.”

She couldn’t stop herself from taking a step toward him. “And you don’t think I would
have felt the same way about protecting you?”

He stopped pacing and shook his head. “Most women aren’t like that.”

“Well, I’m not
most
goddamn women,” she shot back, her voice cracking with emotion. “I’m the one who
wanted you more than life!”

He flinched, then fisted his hands at his sides and bellowed, “You were a fucking
child!”

“I wasn’t,” she argued, swiping at the stupid tears on her face. “You were just too
blind to see it. But take a good look at me now. Tell me if you still think I’m a
little girl.”

His hot gaze slid up and down her body. “After the things I’ve done to you, you know
I don’t. You wanted me to fuck you and I have.”

Her laugh was brittle, filled with pain and the longing for things she knew she wasn’t
ever going to get. “I didn’t just want to fuck you. I wanted to
belong
to you. I wanted to make a life with you. Have a family with you. Grow old with you.
And you left without even saying a single word to me!”

“And you don’t think I’m sorry for that? That it hasn’t torn me apart every fucking
day I’ve been away from you?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “How could I know? You give me
nothing.”

“I couldn’t!” he roared, swiping his hand through the air. “Fuck, Lily. Listen to
what I’m telling you. What I want doesn’t matter. The problem is that the two of us
together would be like a goddamn natural disaster. We’re talking storm of the century!”

“No, that’s not true. I think it’s all a matter of perspective, Scott. As well as
trust. And just for the record, I happen to love storms. They’re . . . exciting. And
beautiful.” She took another step toward him. “If you have the right person by your
side, there’s nothing in a storm that can hurt you. Except
them
. They hold a power over you. One you end up giving over to them whether you want
to or not. Even knowing they might destroy you with it.”

He screwed his eyes shut, looking pained, then slowly opened them. “Damn it, Lily.
I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She sniffed. “And yet, that’s what you always end up doing.”

“I know.” His shoulders fell as he watched the tears spilling down her cheeks, his
tortured voice little more than a croak. “Christ, Lil, I’m sorry. I’ve fucked up so
many times with you. I just . . . I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“By breaking my heart three years ago? And then, tonight, using your stupid decoy
idea as a way to push me away?”

His corded throat worked as he swallowed. “Yes. But when I saw Mike put his hands
on you”—he ground his jaw—“I wanted to kill him. I still do.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have that right. Only someone who loves me has the right to
kill for me.”

“I have
every
right when it comes to you,” he scraped out, closing the distance between them. He
speared his fingers into her hair, holding her head in his rough hands, and put his
face right over hers. “You’re
mine
. Every beautiful, stubborn, mouthwatering inch of you. You may not believe me, but
you
mean
something to me, Lily. A hell of a lot more than any other woman ever has.” His voice
dropped, and he pressed his forehead to hers. “It’s scaring the shit out of me, baby.
We’re talking pure fucking terror.”

“Her perfume,” she muttered, turning her head to the side, afraid to let his words
into the tenderness of her heart. They could do so much damage in there. “You still
smell like her.”

“I can fix that.” He took his gun from the back of his jeans, set it on the bedside
table, then picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. Seconds later they were
both naked and she was against the shower’s tiled wall, the water misting against
her face as Ryder lowered his head and took her tight nipple into the scorching heat
of his mouth. With her heartbeat roaring in her ears, she watched the erotic play
of his mouth as it skimmed over her flesh. Watched the glistening drops of water cling
to his thick lashes, the lush detail the perfect complement to his rugged, outrageous
beauty. He was mesmerizing her, steam collecting around their bodies like a primordial
mist as his lips found hers, the drugging, head-spinning kisses clouding her mind.

But the feel of his hands suddenly gripping her ass, lifting her off her feet, his
hips pushing between her thighs, demanding she make room for him, jerked her back
to the moment. His cock was heavy and urgently hard against her cleft, and she knew
from the coiling in his muscles that he was only seconds away from burying himself
deep.

“Don’t come in me,” she gasped, watching him from beneath her lashes. “Not tonight.”

His sensual mouth flattened into a hard line. “Why?”

“Because that’s something that only lovers should do. Not two people who are just
fucking each other.”

Pushing her wet hair back from her face with his hand, he said, “I’ve
fucked
a lot of women, Lily. More than I care to admit. I’ve fucked them without even knowing
a damn thing about them. Without caring, except for what I could get out of them.
So
don’t
, for one goddamn second, look at me and tell me that when I’m buried inside you it’s
nothing more than fucking. You might not know the difference but
I
do.”

The next thing she knew he was carrying her out of the shower, back into the bedroom,
and tossing her into the middle of the mattress. Then he stared down at her from the
side of the bed, dripping with water, his lean muscles coiled with power beneath the
tight stretch of his skin. “Open your legs for me.”

“No. I need to—”

“Open your fucking legs, Lily.” His deep voice resonated with a sharp bite of command
that only made her wetter. “Do it now or I’m spanking your ass.”

“Like hell you are,” she snapped, rolling over. She tried to crawl away, thinking
she could scramble off the other side, but he was too fast. He came down over her
hard, flattening her against the damp sheets.

“I know I should let you go, but I can’t,” he groaned, before doing his best to blow
her freaking mind. His mouth was on her everywhere, pressing kisses down her spine,
before he turned her over and licked his way from her navel up to her chest. He made
thick, sexy sounds under his breath as he moved from one breast to the other, leaving
both nipples shiny and throbbing, before moving higher, covering her with his strength
and his heat. His hips settled against hers, his heavy shaft rubbing through the drenched
folds of her sex. Then he reached down between them, fitting the broad crown against
her opening, and started that slow, thick push inside. His hands found her wrists,
holding them against the bed, his weight braced on his elbows . . . and his face close
to hers. “You feel so fucking
good,
Lil. I can’t get enough of you. Of touching you. Of feeling you trapped beneath me.”

She arched, shivering as he started to ride her with grinding, devastating thrusts,
unable to believe how quickly he could melt her down. Make her ache. Her pulse raced,
body clenching, her head thrashing as a lush, shattering burst of pleasure slammed
into her so hard she screamed like someone in pain, sobbing and crying. When she’d
finally quieted, she realized he’d been waiting for her to calm before letting himself
experience his own release. Looking savagely gorgeous, he gritted his teeth and shoved
himself deep, holding there as he came, and Lily knew this was why he’d waited. He’d
wanted her to feel every exquisite throb and pulse of his magnificent cock as he blasted
inside her, filling her up. When he finally drew back, pulling his shaft from her
greedy clasp, he braced himself on a straight arm at her side, his other hand pressed
against her inner thigh, and stared between her legs.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Watching my cum drip out of you.” He ran his fingertips over her drenched vulva and
lower, where she could feel his semen sliding down, then looked up at her from under
his lashes. “I could never get tired of seeing that. It’s so fucking beautiful.” He
took a deep breath, and his voice got even huskier. “I want all of you, Lily.”

“I’ve given you everything,” she breathed.

“Almost.” His teeth nipped her earlobe as he came down on top of her, one hand braced
by her head while the other curved around her hip to grab her ass. With his fingertips
slipping into the crease, rubbing against the sensitive flesh there, he said, “I want
it all. Every part of you.”

Although it wasn’t something that she had ever thought she would experience, Lily
surrendered completely, trusting him to take care of her and bring her pleasure in
an act that was far more erotic than anything she’d ever imagined she would engage
in. He used her baby oil to lube his cock, then positioned her on her hands and knees
as he knelt behind her. She gripped the slats in the headboard with white knuckles,
not really knowing what to expect. She’d enjoyed his thumb touching her there—but
his erection penetrating the tight hole might be another matter entirely. She braced
herself, but he wasn’t in any rush, soothing her with his touch and his seductive
words as he told her how much he wanted her, needed her, owned her. He said she was
his
again and again, his voice turning guttural as he finally started to work that massive,
vein-ridged shaft inside her. She panted, gasping, eyes squeezed shut against the
muted glow of light spilling in from the bathroom. She hadn’t expected the pleasure
to be quite so strong, and she trembled, shaking, sounds crawling up from her throat
that spurred him on, letting him know without words that she was enjoying herself.

“You are so fucking incredible, Lil.” He pulled her up so that his mouth was at her
ear, and filled one hand with her breast, pinching her nipple, while the other burrowed
between her legs, stroking her clit. He was all the way in now, and he held her against
him like that as he started to move, pumping into her with slow, thick lunges that
made her desperate for more. He moved the fingers on her clit to her vulva, pushing
them inside her with a greedy, sharp-edged hunger, as if he wanted to be everywhere
at once.