Why the Star Stands Still (Gives Light Series) (32 page)

This was the tree where Uncle Julius had tumbled to his death, Dad powerless to help him.  This was the tree I had lain beneath many summers ago, with my friends and with my cousin; with Rafael as we traded our first touches, as we first came to know the world.

The world doesn't really change, does it?  We come and we go, and we think we're so important, we can't possibly comprehend how the world doesn't come tumbling down when our lives do.  It's so cold, so heartless.  So beautiful.  It doesn't matter how many of us walk across the surface of the planet.  The sun will still rise when we've finished rising with it.  The earth is no less warmer for our absence on it.

I trailed over to the willow tree before I even knew what I was doing.

Dad sat beneath the sweeping, elegant boughs.  His knees were raised, his arms around them.  He looked up when I approached him.  He smiled a watery smile.

I sat next to him, my hand on his shoulder.  I could feel him relaxing beneath my palm.

Which of these branches had Uncle Julius fallen from?  I didn't know.  Just like I couldn't remember which branch my cousin Marilu had climbed when she first discovered the mourning cloaks hiding among the bark.  Or which tendrils Rafael had chased me through the first time I coaxed him into a race through the woods.

Rafael sat on my other side.  His arm was comforting around my waist, his hand warm against my thigh.  For a moment I forgot how old we were.  For a moment I felt as small as the windchimes hanging from the top of the tree.  Beautiful, painted glass butterflies, glass stars in wine red and ocean blue.

Mickey wandered over to the three of us.  She invited herself to sit on Dad's other side.

"Do you know," Dad started suddenly, but stopped.

"What?" Mickey asked.

"In Shoshone," Dad said, "the word for 'friends' is the same word for 'family.'  Nimaa."

"Nimaa," Mickey repeated, trying it on for size.

I watched Zeke splashing Annie with cold water from the creek.  I watched Reuben feeding Tello with dried blue corn kernels from his back pocket.

I tipped my head back and inspected the hanging glass stars.  A desert-orange star caught on one of the topmost branches when the wind blew its way.  Wedged between the branch and the tree trunk, the star stood still.

"Stop!  Stop!  Oh, you're mean!" Charity shrieked at Zeke, her pants soaked with creek water.

"I'll bet
you
didn't know something," Mickey told Dad.

I had to smile.  What sort of childlike wisdom was she about to impart on him?  What could she possibly know that the rest of us hadn't figured out yet?

"I have two dads," she said.

I could feel it when Dad smiled.  Dad doesn't usually smile, you know.  I've always thought he must have forgotten how.  What is that like?  To go through your life, day by day, the same as always, and one day realize you haven't smiled in years?  What does it feel like to smile again after all that time has passed?

I don't know.  I couldn't tell you.  I think I've always been smiling.  Hopefully I won't find a reason to stop.

"I wasn't aware," Dad said.  "You're a very lucky girl."

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Shoshone Glossary

Masukwih!  Yuhupippuh!  -  Screw yourself!  Fat man!

Sai Paa Hupia  -  Boat [and] Water Song

Nai Nukkwi  -  Girl [Who] Ran

Makan Imaa  -  Gives Light, Gives Morning

Sape Naha  -  Looks Over [Her Shoulder]

Pia, hinna punikkatu?  -  Mother, welcome home.  (lit. "Mother, what are you doing here?")

Nian huttsimpia keehinna tokwinna!  Tupichi tammattsi, tangku watsingku, puesusu ponaahwa piammutonna...  Ma punni, sapan nahnappuh, tuchu pai nian nanumu...  Hakanukwitu, Tam Apo, hakanukwitu...  -  My daughter-in-law is worthless!  What a fool, getting the two of us lost, and well past child-bearing age is she...  Look, there's the eldest child, a pox upon my family...  Why, God, why...

Taipo'o!  Dosabitumu kimmatu nian sokowa innuntukkah pinnasu!  -  The white man!  The white devil has come to take my land again!

Kanaakka.  Nian ukupinaa tangummu kanaakka, uu wailt pusikwatu'ih...  -  A black woman.  My first lover was a black [man], but they'll never know...

Tuupukkan uma!  Takkamah!  -  Wrathful rain!  Beware!

Mutsachi  -  Little Mountain Sheep  (lit. "Mountain Sheep Yearling")

Tsinnahi  -  Makes Them Laugh

Nihatta!  Nian tua nia yaakkin tukuna pauwau, haka tsao suwa pauwau ma'i?  Kuttaan nu hupichi, nu kee tunaakasuwanna ma uku tammattsimmuh...  -  What an insult!  My son takes me to a pauwau, what would I want with a pauwau?  I am very old, I don't want to spend my time with young fools...

Taipo'o nian tama kappayummuh innuntukkahppuh!  Nia punni!  -  White man stole my teeth and my horses!  Just look at me!

Tottsaa  -  Loaded bread

Tokochi'na kuhmachi, dosabitumu, yuhupukkanna...  -  My grandson's husband, the white devil, he could lose some weight...

Numu paa kutsapi'kontuih wuchamata huuppiammu.  -  You will poison our waters and tie up our women.

Kimma!  -  Come!

Acha Dine!  -  Wretched Navajo!

Sutummu tukummuinna  -  To understand each other without speaking the same language

Tsitsaseh kimmayu!  -  Jesus is coming!

Yepani Hupia  -  Autumn Song

Bia'isa-soto  -  Wolf-drag

Tello  -  Forger, Maker

Pocatello  -  Middle Road Maker

Nimaa  -  Friend, family

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