Why Romeo Hates Juliet (35 page)

The two helicopters started buzzing the beach at precisely 10:30 a.m., a half hour before the wedding ceremony was to begin. One carried a paparazzi photographer from Gossip World and the other one held two from Holl ywood Tattletales, another popular entertainment magazine. They were there to take as many pictures of Romeo Boyd’s impending quickie wedding to author Juliet Soma as they could. Rumors were already swirling that she might even be pregnant with his child and pictures of her possible baby bump under her wedding dress would bring in big money.

Both magazines had been anonymously tipped off to the nuptials and it was a race to see who could get the first photos published.

Juliet was upstairs in her own bedroom putting the finishing touches to her makeup, while Sara, dressed in a flowing lilac summer dress, was craning her neck out the window trying to get a better glimpse of the noisy helicopters.

“I don’t know if it was such a good idea to tip off the press,” Sara frowned, as she continued to watch the aerial display.

“You worry too much. Besides, if it annoys Romeo Boyd, then I consider it a brilliant move on my part,” Juliet responded. Taking one final look in the mirror, she grabbed the bunch of daisies that Faith had picked from her garden that was going to be her bridal bouquet, and stood up. “So, how do I look?”

Sara turned and smiled. “Absolutely breathtaking,” she sighed, as she took in how lovely her sister looked.

Juliet was wearing the simple white satiny sheath dress that went all the way down to her ankles, barely exposing her bare feet. Since the ceremony was going to be in the sand on the beach, she had decided not to wear any shoes. Her hair had been put up into a high bun by Sara, and the look had been finished with fresh daisies at the front of the top knot, forming a tiara of sorts. Her makeup was mostly nudes and browns except for her pink lip gloss and posy pink cream blush. Everything about her was simple, yet tasteful and elegant. Standing there, holding her bouquet of daisies, Juliet looked every inch the romantic bride who was about to be joined in matrimony to her expectant and loving groom.

A streak of sadness suddenly enveloped Sara. “I’m sorry, Juliet. Maybe one day you can find your true soul mate and I can be your matron of honor for real.” She came over and gave her sister a sympathetic hug.

“I know, Sara but let’s worry about someday tomorrow, because today we have a job to do. I’m going to give that jerk a day he’ll remember for the rest of his life. I’ll bet he’s down there right now waiting to talk to me to put an end to all of this.”

“I don’t know, Juliet. He hasn’t caved yet and I’ve seen no signs that he will.”

“Well then, we’ll be married by the fake minister, whom he thinks is real, and we’ll see what he says after that. The fireworks might come early in the day instead of at the end of the evening when they usually go off at these things,” she giggled.

Juliet was trying to put on a happy, carefree face for her sister’s sake, but the truth of it was that she was getting worried. She would have bet her entire first book advance that Romeo would have conceded in their little game of chicken by now, but he hadn’t. In fact, the reports she’d gotten from Faith and Brad, who had spent time over there preparing for the wedding, were that he seemed to be in good spirits and saying he was looking forward to the event. Well, if he was expecting her to break down first, he was going to be sorely disappointed because she had every intention of taking this fiasco all the way to the end, and then letting him have it with both barrels - not literally, of course, since she’d already done that when she’d shot him. She smiled to herself. At least she still had a sense of humor about things, even if her heart was breaking. Yes, she still loved him, but he didn’t love her, so she’d reach deep down inside of her heart to where her anger resided and use that for support instead. That would see her through today. And tomorrow? Well, the sisters had already decided to fly home to Vancouver and that would be the end of her Romeo Boyd adventure. Taking in a deep breath to prevent any tears from falling, Juliet turned just as Faith walked into the bedroom.

“Okay, everything’s set,” her friend instructed. “Nick the Asshole is waiting downstairs to walk you over, the food we brought is being kept warm by Brad on the barbeque by the patio and the fake minister that my husband lined up is on the beach along with your scumbag groom and his slimy best man, Tommy, all waiting for the beautiful, blushing bride to show up.”

Sara laughed. “And that folks has all the makings of a great wedding.”

“How does the phony reverend look?” Juliet asked.

“Terrific. He looks the part and he even brought along a phony marriage contract for you two to sign if it gets that far. For once, Brad came through for me. Apparently, his name is Jake Cutler.”

“And what about my adoring husband with the fake amnesia? Any signs of buckling yet?” Faith shook her head. “Nope. He’s standing up there waiting for you, but wait until you see him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind. You’ll find out soon enough,” Faith coyly answered with an ‘I-know-something-you-don’t-know’ smile across her lips, before walking out of the bedroom.

Sara frowned. “What’s that all about?”

“He’s probably done up the buttons on his shirt for a change,” Juliet cracked smartly, as she followed Faith out the bedroom door, suddenly wanting to get this sham over with as soon as possible.

* * *

Downstairs Nick Mathison, wearing a proper navy suit and tie, stood up off the couch as soon as he saw Juliet coming down the stairs. God, she was so hot, he thought to himself. Why couldn’t it have been him standing at the altar instead of Romeo? It would have almost been worth it to marry her if it meant getting into her pants, or in this case, under that slinky, sexy, white dress she was wearing. Reluctantly, he sighed. He still didn’t understand all of the parameters that were going on. All that Romeo had told him was to keep playing the part of Dr. Zack Burrel where Juliet and company were concerned, and if she wanted him to walk her down the aisle, then so be it.

“You look beautiful, Juliet,” he rasped, as she came to stand in front of him, desire for her clearly flashing in his grin.

“Thank you.” She slipped her arm into his suited-clad one and together they walked outside.

~ ~ ~

The second that Juliet, on Nick’s arm, started walking out back from her beach house to Romeo’s backyard, the two helicopters began to swoop very low. She could see that the paparazzi occupants were practically hanging out of the sides of the flying machines with their large zoom lens trained on her.

Smiling inwardly at the noise the chopper blades were making and hoping beyond hope that Romeo Boyd was aggravated by the display, Juliet pretended to ignore them as she kept marching forward towards the beach. Sara, who was to be her Matron of Honor, strode in front of her carrying her own bouquet of daises. The sun was shining brightly, the ocean tide was gently lapping at the beach and a slight breeze was fanning the already hot, morning temperature. It was a perfect day for a wedding, even for a fake one, Juliet thought.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Faith take her place beside her husband, Brad, who was already standing with the rest of the wedding party all waiting on the beach about twenty feet away from the ocean’s edge. The phony minister beside him was dressed in a black suit and tie, holding a book in his hands. Juliet thought he looked the part and her friend had done a great job in finding him. She was impressed.

Her eyes then alighted on Tommy, who was going to be Romeo’s best man. He was wearing long casual shorts, a loud Hawaiian shirt and a mismatched bowtie. Yes, he did look ridiculous, but at least he’d gone to some effort by wearing the tie, she surmised.

And finally, her eyes landed on Romeo Boyd. He was standing sandwiched between the fake minister and Tommy, but when Juliet saw him, she suddenly gasped out loud in shock and stopped dead in her tracks, tugging Nick to a full stop and causing her sister to turn around.

“Juliet, what’s wrong?” the soap actor asked.

Juliet couldn’t respond because her breath had literally left her body as she gawked at her groom. He had shaven his wild hair off, leaving behind a shorn to the head, army crew cut, and his full beard was gone too. He was completely clean shaven. He was also wearing a black jacket over blue jeans, with a crisp white shirt underneath, and his feet were bare and ensconced in the warm sand. A white carnation flower was casually tucked in his blazer’s boutonnière and he exuded elegant but casual chic. There, standing before her, was Romeo Boyd, big-time, Holl ywood movie star, in all his glory. The handsome face beaming back at her now was the face she’d seen up on the big screen and in all the gossip magazines sold every week. It was him! It was really him! Romeo Boyd, MEGA movie star. Oh… my… God!

Of course, in the back of her mind, she’d always known who he was, but with all of his wild hair and beard, she’d never really thought of him in that way. To her, he’d always been Romeo, obnoxious neighbor and partying bad boy, but now, when she was staring at the face that she’d seen on a forty foot high theatre screen, she suddenly crashed back down to reality with a hard thud.

Juliet felt a moment of panic. What the hell was she doing? He was a real life Holl ywood celebrity, for god’s sake, adored by millions of women around the world and here she was taking part in a phony wedding where she was hoping to teach him a lesson? It was all too surreal and totally nonsensical. What had she been thinking? Losing her bravado, she tugged on Nick’s arm, wanting to go back to her own beach house and put a stop to this farce immediately.

A slight smile twitched on Romeo’s lips as he registered her complete surprise at his new shorn look, but that was immediately replaced by a flash of hot desire that rushed through his system when he took in how incredibly and amazingly beautiful she looked in her white dress and daisies.

She looked sweet and fresh and oh so pure, and his blue eyes twinkled approvingly at the pretty picture she painted. Too bad her heart was a block of ice.

Meanwhile, Nick studied Juliet’s stony stance as she stood there frozen on his arm. “Juliet, are you all right?” he asked, this time with more concern in his voice.

Sara suddenly sensed her big sister’s resolve evaporating. Taking a few steps back, she whispered in her ear. “He faked his amnesia so you’d have sex with him and you almost did.”

At that instant, the helicopters swooped down low again as the paparazzi took closer shots of the wedding scene. As they did that, the wind from their whirring blades blew across Juliet’s face, and that gust of air brought her to her senses, reinforcing Sara’s words. She straightened her spine and lifted her chin in defiance. Yes, she’d almost forgotten what that creep had done to her and now it was time for him to pay back the debt with interest. All he’d have to do was to admit to her what he’d done and this whole sham would end now. But how far was he willing to go? It was time to find out.

Fixing a bride’s smile on her rosy pink lips, Juliet tilted her head up towards Nick, who was still supporting her with his arm. “I’m ready; let’s go,” she instructed, and the wedding party resumed their march towards the waiting bridegroom.

Upon reaching Romeo’s side, the fake minister named Jake nodded approvingly at her, and Nick awkwardly let go of her arm taking his place beside Tommy. Juliet then turned to Romeo and cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at him, daring him to admit his culpability. “Is there anything you’d like to say to me before we start, Romeo?”

The rat smiled at her. “What I want to say is… that you’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen and I’m a lucky man.” He then took her hand gently in his.

Juliet’s smug look disappeared in a flash. Damn it! He was so calm and it was obvious he was waiting for her to break first. Well, he had another thing coming. Clutching her bouquet of daisies with her other hand, she turned to the minister who was standing before them with his back to the ocean. “Reverend Jake, you may proceed,” she high-handedly dictated. She then glanced back at her groom to see his reaction, but all he did was wink at her. Double damn it, she fumed, resenting his obvious determination.

Jake, the phony minister, cleared his throat and opened his book, beginning the ceremony. “We are gathered here today to unite Romeo and Juliet in holy matrimony. As we stand under God’s glorious blue sky and by his fathomless ocean wide and deep, we come together to witness their special bond which will today be forged to become…” It was at that point in his speech that the two helicopters zoomed in low again and the loud racket made by the turning of the blades drowned out his next words. Jake began to shout in order to make himself heard over the noise. “… Your commitment to love each other and to…” But again, his words were completely blotted out by the din.

“Can you repeat that, Father,” Romeo shouted. “I can’t hear you.” He threw an irritated look towards the heavens where both helicopters were now jockeying for a better position to photograph the nuptials.

Frustrated, Jake frowned and began shouting again at the top of his lungs. “I said that your commitment to love each other and to accept each other’s strengths and frailties will create…” His next words were overpowered by the flying machines again.

Juliet rolled her eyes in disgust. Oh my God, this was getting to be ridiculous, she thought to herself. “Can you just speed it up, Reverend? The noise…” she pointed to the helicopters.

Jake nodded, “Oh, of course.” He thumbed several pages forward in the book he was holding and cleared his throat again. “If there is anyone here who does not consent to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace,” he shouted, before looking up at Sara, Tommy, Nick, Brad and Faith. The quintet remained mum.

Juliet turned to her loving groom. “Romeo?” she yelled out at him, with that one word asking him if he had any objections and was he going to put a stop to things?

But he calmly returned her inquisitive look with one of his own. “Juliet?” he questioned back, asking her the same silent question she’d just asked him.

An irritated pout formed on her pink lips. She’d been certain that he would have said something by now, but the jerk was obviously holding his cards close to his crisp white shirt and not giving anything away.

“Rings, please,” Jake shouted over the noise again, this time at Tommy. As best man, Tommy promptly reached into his pocket to retrieve the cheap wedding bands Juliet had bought at the mall the day before and handed them to the phony minister.

Jake then gave Juliet’s ring to Romeo and pointed to the bride’s finger. Romeo took her hand in his again and Juliet felt rather than saw Sara take her bouquet of daisies out of her hand.

On seeing that the exchange of rings was about to take place, the helicopters began to swoop even lower. The noise from the blades grew louder and the whirring action suddenly began to turn the sand on the beach into a mini dust storm. The wedding party began to cough and wave their arms in the air to try to dissipate some of the flying sand.

Coughing, Jake turned to Juliet, “I - I don’t know - if this is such a good idea,” he shouted.

“Never mind, keep going,” Juliet yelled back, as she too coughed and wheezed. There was no way she was going to start this sham over again someplace else, and besides, she still wanted to see how far the slime standing next to her was prepared to take things. He was probably close to breaking now anyway; she was almost sure of it.

Jake nodded. “Okay, repeat after me,” he shouted to Romeo. “I, Romeo, take you Juliet to…” he stopped in mid-sentence to cough up the grains of sand that had lodged in his throat, “… to be my wife.”

Romeo stopped coughing long enough to repeat, “I, Romeo, take you Juliet, to be my wife.” He slipped the band on her finger and raised an eyebrow at her as if to say, ‘take that, sweetheart.’

Juliet saw red at his insolent smirk. Determined, she turned back to the fake reverend and tried to focus on what he was saying.

“… Take you Romeo, to be my husband,” Jake finished shouting.

Juliet practically snatched the ring out of the phony minister’s palm before yanking Romeo’s hand up. She coughed again, to clear her own throat, before shouting forcefully, “I, Juliet, take you - Romeo - to be my husband.” The words gritted through her teeth as she jammed the cheap wedding band on his ring finger. She then grabbed her bridal bouquet back out of Sara’s hand and clutched it to her chest in anger, facing the minister. Out of the corner of her eye she caught the Holl ywood worm sneering at her petulant outburst.

Over the continuous din of the helicopters, and the sand that was still being whipped up on the beach, Jake pulled out a piece of paper along with a pen that he’d had tucked in his jacket pocket. Unfurling the sheet, he gave the pen first to Romeo and pointed to the paper. “Sign,” was all he could shout over the commotion going on.

Romeo turned to his bride, pausing for a split second to give her a chance to say something. But all Juliet did was lift her nose in the air, daring him to continue. He did, as he quickly signed his name to the marriage contract. Romeo gall antly then offered her the pen.

Juliet snatched it out of his fingers and rapidly scrawled her name below his before handing the writing instrument back to Jake. Okay - so it looked like the bastard was going to go through with this thing all the way, she fumed. Could he know that it was all fake? Had he somehow found out that this was a phony wedding with a phony minister?

The helicopters suddenly swooped down lower for a better shot and the sand began swirling around one more time, spinning into a tornado-shaped funnel on the beach. The coughing and hand waving began again amongst the group and the entire scene was clouded over. Realizing that the shifting sand was obscuring the wedding below and preventing them from taking clear pictures through the haze, the helicopters finally moved up and away, allowing the dust storm to settle down and the noise to dissipate a bit.

Coughing loudly to clear his throat, Jake re-opened his book. “Before this ceremony comes to a close and I pronounce you married, I will give you, Juliet, a chance to say a few memorable words to Romeo, and you Romeo, can say a few memorable words to Juliet.” He glanced at the bride, waiting for her to speak first.

Juliet turned to her groom and stared into his mischievously twinkling eyes. “Romeo - the truth shal set you free,” she proclaimed, daring him to admit what he’d done to her about faking his stupid memory loss. But the movie star remained silent, standing his ground. A glimmer of a smile turned the corners of his mouth upwards, causing her to seethe inside even more.

The phony minister awkwardly cleared his throat again. “Is - is that it?” he asked the bride, thinking that there might be more she wanted to say.

“That’s it,” Juliet boldly stated.

Jake turned to Romeo. “Romeo, you may now say something to Juliet.”

Romeo confidently smiled at her, the kind of a smile you see on a poker player before throwing down a winning hand. “Juliet, to quote Shakespeare; By holy marriage: when, and where, and how; We met, we woo’d and made exchange of vow, I’ll tell thee as we pass;…” he turned to Jake then and continued his best thespian recitation of Shakespeare’s words from the Romeo & Juliet play, “But this I pray - Reverend Jake - That thou consent to marry us to-day.” He grinned then, thoroughly enjoying himself.

But as soon as he’d finished reciting the words, Juliet felt a chil shoot up her spine as she experienced a moment of déjà vu. She’d heard those words before, but where? She’d never been a student of Shakespeare and had never really read the Romeo & Juliet play, so it couldn’t have been that. Suddenly, it came to her in a flash. It was the dream she’d had many moons ago, when she’d dreamt that she and Romeo, dressed in medieval period costumes, had been standing before a priest about to be married. In her dream, Romeo had pronounced those exact same words just as they’d been about to be joined in holy matrimony. But how could he know about her dream? She hadn’t even told Sara about it. Unless that dream had been a warning? The phony minister began speaking again, but Juliet wasn’t paying attention, still too caught up in her revere.

“And now, by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.” He turned to Romeo and smiled. “You may kiss your bride.”

“It’s about time.”