Why Are You So Sad? (5 page)

Driving to work this morning.

Was it a true, pure happy or a relative happy?

Are temporary things pure?

It seemed fine.

If you were a day of the week, would you be Monday or Wednesday?

“M.A.S.H.” is on both nights.

Both.

Somebody entered the bathroom. I feared, though I knew it to be highly unlikely, that somehow the other occupant would know that I was sitting on the toilet with my pants on. Nobody had ever peeked in on me in all my years of sitting in bathroom stalls, but I noted a minor rise in internal panic. The occupant hovered quietly over a urinal and then washed his hands. He lingered in front of the mirror. I could see through the crack, between the stall door and the wall, that the stranger was wearing a pink oxford shirt and had brown hair. I waited quietly. I made no noises. Is that what I would do if I were really using the toilet? Should I be making fake noises? I wasn't sure. At last, he left.

I returned to my deciphering.

Do you realize you have on average another 11,000 to 18,250 mornings of looking in the mirror and wondering if people will find you attractive?

I look in the mirror and think about another forty years of people simply finding me in their field of vision and then making excuses about something they have to do.

I don't spend a lot of time in front of the mirror.

Do you think people will remember you after you die?

No.

Yes.

For how long after you die?

.

As long as those people who remember me live.

Do you believe in God?

If God existed, why would
so very
every time I
? And also, w
at
bout
or
and the complete absence of
?

Yes.

Do you believe in life after God?

I don't understand the question.

Here he stuck with his original answer. Perhaps I should rephrase that question.

Are you for the chemical elimination of all things painful?

I am afraid of taking drugs. Alcohol makes me feel out of control. That is the only drug I have tried except for allergy medicine.

No.

Do you think we need more sports?

Sports have only
and
.

If it is good for the country or the company, why not?