Who's That Lady? (22 page)

“It’s not exactly a dream. It’s more like a feeling, a sensation of being smothered or threatened or something. I can’t exactly describe it. It’s just overwhelming and I wake up terrified.”

“Does this happen often?” she asked, more concerned by the minute.

“No, no. It’s just when there’s a shake-up in my life of some kind, I get this reaction.”

Crystal was hit with the recognition that this was one of the nightmares that Vonetta had told her about. But she’d had the impression that he had outgrown them. She ran her hand down his arm even more tenderly.

“Key, is this from your childhood?”

He gave a reluctant nod. “Yeah, I guess.”

“How often does it happen?”

“Not often, really. I swear it’s nothing for you to worry about. It’s been years since I had one. Back in college when Monica—”

“And you just started having them again?”

His answer was reluctant. “No. I had one before Thanksgiving. And this one.”

Realization brought a wave of incredible tenderness. Fear of being abandoned had set off his nightmares.

“Oh, Emerson, you’re never, never going to get rid of me. I’m your friend, your lover, your evil nemesis. But one way or another I’m going to always be with you.”

He didn’t say anything, not even turning to her.

“And think of those you’re really connected to. Your mom and dad, Vonetta and Joe. Can you imagine that anything would ever change the way they feel about you? Shonté will always be part of you. And so will I.”

He twisted now to look at her, a tender smile on his lips.

“Crystal, I love you.”

“Oh, Key—” She was stunned. Though she had hoped to hear these words, she hadn’t expected it. Not now.

He quickly touched her lips with his fingers. “Don’t say anything. I don’t want to know what you’re going to say right now. I just want to feel my love for you without anything else mixing with it. Just let me love you, sweet Crystal. That’s all I want.”

He pushed her down to the bed, lying half on top of her, drawing the covers over them both. Key cupped her buttocks in his hands, pulling her close to taste her lips. She laced her fingers together behind his head to keep him there, trying to convey the feelings she couldn’t seem to find words for.

Key ran his hands and mouth over her generous curves, leaving behind a trail of fevered flesh as he made his slow progress down her body. She wanted him to reach her center and yet she prayed that he would never get there, thereby prolonging the exquisite torture of his wet mouth on her hot skin. His hands traveled up, then down, and finally between her legs. He teased her wet slit with his fingers. Maddened with need, she grabbed his hand to immobilize it at her center.

As her passion rose, his fingers no longer satisfied the desire that they had aroused in her. She was half crazy with desire by the time he entered her with quick, driving power. They were cocooned in the bed coverings, a cozy haven for their lovemaking. He moved slowly in and out. Each slow, grinding stroke took them one step closer to the simultaneous explosion that rocked her entire world, releasing all of the tension that had built up in her body.

They both lay still, their hearts pounding against one another, breathing together, joined in body and spirit.

When his breathing had slowed down, he spoke with his lips against her temple. “I love you, Crystal. You don’t know how incredible it makes me feel to be part of your life.”

She moved her head to announce her love with heartfelt eagerness. He silenced her by pressing his lips over hers in a searing kiss.

A little breathless, he went on. “I know you care about me, Crystal. You don’t have to say it. Since I told you about the dream, you probably want to reassure me that you’re not going to leave me.” He paused, swallowing, his voice forced now. “But I—I don’t want you to love me to protect me from bad dreams or to take care of me or something. Like you did for Shonté. Am I making any sense?”

She had opened her mouth for a hot denial when his words struck a sour note. Was there a grain of truth in what he said? Was she transferring her nurturing mode to him? She didn’t know what to say now.

Key sighed. “Maybe I’m not making sense. I just want you to live your life for yourself. It’s enough that you’re here, with me, in this moment. You’re my delight, Crystal. I’ll always be here for you.”

He snuggled her closer against his side.

Crystal didn’t resist and didn’t speak. She was confused now. Of course she loved him and wanted to take care of him. Wasn’t that what love was all about? Was he trying to keep her from getting too close? She felt the warmth of his chest against her cheek and heard the steady beating of his heart. Closing her eyes, she drank in the essence of Key’s love and desire. Without a doubt, she trusted in his love. She’d find a way to make her love real to him. But at the moment, she succumbed to the security and love of his embrace and fell asleep.

CHAPTER 20

Key left early to go to his apartment to change for work. Crystal forced herself out of bed when her alarm went off. She had just begun her morning routine in the bathroom when a sudden hammering on the bathroom door made her jump.

“Cee! Get out here!” yelled Shonté.

Crystal flung the door open, her toothbrush still in her mouth.

Shonté, wild-eyed and sallow-faced with anxiety, clutched her cell phone in one upraised fist. “Crystal, Marcus called. Jalessa is in the hospital with some kind of emergency. They’re afraid she’s going to have a miscarriage.”

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“She wants me to come. I think I should.”

“I’ll go with you.” Crystal said.

The two of them threw on some clothing and Crystal drove them to the hospital.

Jalessa’s mother and Marcus were in the waiting room of the ER when they came in. A high-tech nurses’ station divided the waiting area from a series of curtained cubicles where patients were treated. The smell of disinfectant and blood mingled in an ominous reek. Someone in one of the partitions moaned a heart-wrenching wordless wail. The intercom paged names softly while hospital personnel padded to and fro or monitored readouts at the nurses’ station.

The mother and boyfriend both stood up from the hard plastic chairs in the waiting area. Marcus embraced Shonté while Crystal put her arms around Mrs. Hines.

“She wanted to see you. Come on,” Marcus said, and tugged Shonté in the direction of the partitions behind the nurses’ station.

Marcus broke in mid-stride to look questioningly at Mrs. Hines. “If that’s okay with you?”

She nodded and he pulled Shonté after him. Crystal anxiously looked in the direction Shonté and Marcus had gone. She had an uneasy feeling about Shont
é’s ability to hold up to this ordeal.

Crystal turned to Mrs. Hines, pulling her down beside her on the row of chairs.

“How is she? Did she have a miscarriage?”

Mrs. Hines covered her tearful eyes with a hand. “She was suffering so much pain. They gave her some medicine, but they’re going to have to take the baby.”

She broke down in sobs and Crystal patted her shoulder.

Mrs. Hines twisted her hands. “You probably think I’m a lousy mother. But I did my best to raise my girl right. Since her father died, she’s been so angry. She seemed to turn against all the values we ever taught her. I didn’t know how to handle her. I didn’t want her pregnant. But I never, never wanted this! I hurt so much for her, and I miss her daddy so much!”

“I know, I know. This must be devastating.”

When Key strode into the waiting room a couple of minutes later, Crystal turned to him with relief.

“I’m not sure what’s wrong, but they’re going to have to take the baby,” Crystal told him in a soft voice.

Mrs. Hines gave another sob.

Crystal went on in a distracted voice. “Shonté and Marcus are in with Jalessa. I’m worried about Shonté.”

“She’ll be fine. What about Jalessa?” Key sat down on the other side of Mrs. Hines and patted her back.

Crystal knew that she didn’t sound very coherent. But he didn’t know all the buttons that might be pushed. She feared that Shonté must be drenched in memories.

She stood up and started in the direction Marcus had taken Shonté, pausing at the nurses’ station to ask which cubicle held Jalessa. Then Marcus staggered out of one cubicle and walked in her direction, his eyes glassy and unseeing.

“What’s wrong?” she demanded, grabbing him by the arm.

He turned toward her, his face slack with distress. “They’re doing it now,” he whispered.

Crystal’s blood turned cold in her veins and her heart wrenched with pain for the young man and the girl on the table in there. And Shonté? Crystal gave Marcus’s arm a little shake to get his attention. “Where’s Shonté?” Shonté’s temperament made her experience her own and others’ emotions at a magnified pitch. How could she leave Shonté now?

Marcus pointed with his chin, trying to suppress the shudders racking his body. “Jalessa wanted someone to stay with her. She was hysterical. The nurse said one of us could stay.” He bent over suddenly, his face turning greenish. “Oh, God, I just couldn’t take it.”

Key and Mrs. Hines left the waiting area to join them in front of the nurses’ station. Taking one look at Marcus, Mrs. Hines pushed past him with a cry. A nurse stopped her at the entrance and ordered her to return to the waiting room.

Key and Marcus managed to get the fearful woman back to a chair, and after a minute of helpless distress, Crystal joined them.

Long minutes ticked by as the four of them huddled in the waiting room. Crystal’s mind filled with memories that she struggled to keep at bay. She glanced at the time and remembered her office. She should call or go up to the HR on the seventh floor to explain her absence, but she couldn’t bear to leave.

A minute later, a doctor in green scrubs strode out of the treatment area. “Mrs. Hines?” he asked, looking up from a thin chart in his hands.

Mrs. Hines sprang to her feet, the others rising more slowly.

“Are all of you together?” the doctor asked. He barely waited for their nods. “We’ve completed the procedure. Your daughter is doing well. She’s been given a sedative and is being taken up to a ward now if you want to go with her.”

Behind him, Crystal saw the curtain on Jalessa’s cubicle whisk open. A wheeled hospital bed rolled out, the figure on it almost hidden by equipment and attendants on both sides. They moved swiftly in the direction of the elevators, but Crystal saw only Shonté as she emerged and leaned against the wall.

Crystal rushed up to her. “Oh my God! What happened? Is Jalessa alright?”

Shonté jerked her head up and down; her eyes were huge, red-rimmed. One hand pressed over her trembling lips.

“What’s wrong?” Key asked. “Are you alright?”

“Nothing,” Shonté said. “It was—I didn’t expect—” Shonté’s complexion looked sallow, her lips and jaw clenched.

“I’ll take care of her,” Crystal said to Key. “Why don’t you go with Mrs. Hines?”

The mother was following the hospital gurney, and Marcus trailed after her like a lost child.

Key nodded and left her alone with Shonté.

“You okay, Shont
é?”

Shonté put her hands over her face.

Crystal saw the suffering shadowing her friend’s eyes. She put her arm around Shonté’s shoulder, massaging her tight shoulder muscles.

“It’s okay, honey. You did the right thing,” she whispered.

Shonté stiffened, then suddenly melted against Crystal with a single choked sob. Her slender body trembled against Crystal’s side.

“Did I? What if my birth mother had made the choice I made?” Shonté’s voice was tormented.

Crystal tried to transmit warmth to her shivering friend. “It was the only thing you knew to do at the time.”

“I think about it nearly every day,” Shonté whispered. “I wish it had never happened. My baby would be in high school now.”

“No, no, honey. We didn’t know any better then. We were scared.”

“Not we, Cee.
Me
.” She patted her chest to emphasize her point. “You had nothing to do with what I did. You didn’t even know anything about it until it was over. I made the decision, and this is the hell I have to live with every day for the rest of my life.”

Crystal swallowed. “I helped—”

“Yes, afterwards. I don’t know what I would have done without you. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering if I did the right thing…getting rid of my baby.”

“Your…baby?” whispered Key’s voice behind them.

Crystal whirled to find Key standing just behind her, frozen, staring at Shonté. He had obviously heard her revealing words.

“Key. It’s nothing,” Crystal started. But Shonté interrupted.

“No Crystal. I want to tell him. It’s time I stopped lying.”

* * *

After meeting the Emersons the day she and Key retrieved Masai, Crystal had expected to be forgotten. Key was in high school and Shonté was one of the popular kids in school while Crystal was new and geeky. They had been nice to her when they discovered she was their new neighbor, but she was certain they wouldn’t want to hang out with someone like her.

A few weeks later, she walked in on Shonté sobbing hysterically in the girls’ bathroom at school. Crystal took her home and learned the whole story.

Fifteen, pregnant and scared, Shonté let her 18-year-old boyfriend take her to some clinic in town and then drop her off at school before going to his job. Years later, Crystal understood that particular clinic was basically an assembly line operation. The staff didn’t ask too many questions and they didn’t offer much sympathy. When Crystal found Shonté cowering in the girls’ bathroom of Pine Ridge Middle School, the girl was totally distraught.

When Crystal’s mother came home, she didn’t ask too many questions and agreed to let Shonté spend the night. She was happy to see Crystal apparently making friends. The two girls made a quick trip to Shonté’s house for clothing.

A medical hotline Crystal phoned advised her about what to watch out for and how to treat the patient. All through the weekend, Crystal was there while Shonté alternately raved and grieved.

In hindsight, Crystal thought if she had known Vonetta Emerson better at that point, she would have pressed Shonté to confide in her mother. She was certain now that the Emerson family would have taken care of their daughter’s needs, no matter what. But at the time, she wasn’t accustomed to trusting adults. So she and Shonté made it through the weekend together, and when they went back to school Shonté spent most of her free time hanging out with Crystal. They had borne the burden of secrecy and guilt ever since. They seldom spoke of that weekend, despite the fact that Shont
é still was obviously tormented.

When Jalessa was settled in her room at the hospital, Key, Crystal and Shonté returned to the townhouse. Key knew the whole story of Shonté’s abortion now, but he hadn’t said much. His face looked as if the skin had been stretched tight and frozen in a grim expression.

Crystal got Shonté to bed and then she came back downstairs where Key waited. He had made sandwiches, but neither of them ate.

“Is Jalessa alright?” she asked. She and Shonté had left the hospital a littler earlier than he did.

“She’ll be okay. Marcus and her mother are still with her.” He rubbed his forehead. “The poor kid. I know they’re both too young for a baby. But nobody should have to go through that.”

She rubbed her arms, shivering. “I know. It’s so scary. And if you were a kid and facing that alone…” She broke off, thinking of Shonté, scared and hysterical in the girls’ bathroom.

Key cleared his throat. “How’s Shonté?”

“She’s asleep.” Crystal wrapped her arms around her body in an attempt to get warm. The house felt so cold tonight. Like the hospital waiting room.

“You knew about this all this time.” The words held resentful disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She cringed. “She didn’t want me to. I didn’t think anyone would understand. I just didn’t know what to do.”

Key paced the rug in front of the couch.

“Are you angry I didn’t tell you?” she asked in a timid voice.

“I don’t know why you didn’t ask anybody to help you. All these years, the two of you—” He shook his head, looking at her.

“I’m sorry.” Tears came to her eyes. She could have trusted somebody in all these years. But she had kept it to herself, their little secret, telling herself that Shonté needed her alone.

Tears streamed from Crystal’s eyes and nose, blinding her. No wonder Key didn’t trust her love. She was so stupid.

She scrubbed her face. Key took a step toward her, holding out his arms.

She turned away. “Don’t. I’m not—I don’t blame you—” She was incoherent. She sobbed harder, wishing she had opened up earlier. Now it was too late—

Key’s strong arms wrapped around her and his warm body pressed into her back. He put his mouth on her head. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It will be all right.”

Crystal cried harder, bowled over by the totality of Key’s love and acceptance. She didn’t deserve him. But, God help her, for some reason he loved her, no matter what.

* * *

Key went home to get a bag so he could spend the night at their apartment.

He had just come in and locked the door when he was startled to hear a soft knock. Who could be visiting at this hour of the night? It was after 1 a.m.

A look through the peephole revealed the visitor was Marcus. He flung the door open, worried something else had happened.

“Hey, Coach,” said Marcus with an attempt at a smile. The young man looked gaunt and weary, swaying on his feet.

“Come in,” Key urged. “Have a seat.”

Marcus dropped into the oversized armchair. His entire body slumped with weariness. Without a word, Key walked to the kitchen and brought back a couple of soft drinks. He sat one on the coffee table in front of the young man.

Marcus came back from some far, dark place in his mind to pick up the can automatically. He watched Key sit down on the couch nearby.

“You should get some sleep. You’ve got school tomorrow, don’t you?”

“I don’t know if I’m going,” Marcus said with a grimace. “I’ll prob’ly stay with Jalessa tomorrow.”

“She doing okay?”

He jerked one shoulder in a shrug. “A’ight, I guess. I just—I just feel so
useless
, Coach. I don’t know what to do. Is she gonna hate me forever for messing up her life?”

“Look, Davis,” Key said with gruff sincerity. “This sucks. You aren’t the only brother who ever got caught like this. Some of us just get lucky.” A flicker of guilt went through his mind as he thought about Crystal. Yeah. Lucky. But he couldn’t let his stupidity keep him from talking straight with Marcus.

“What’s important is how you face what life hands you. I know you can handle your business like a man. Right?”

Marcus gazed at him with a pleading expression. “Right, Coach. I just wish I knew what’s the right thing to do now.”