Who Wants to Live Forever? (3 page)

I turned to look in her direction. My guesses were way off the mark tonight.
Fifty-five?
Surely not. But as I took a closer look, I could see signs around her eyes that she wasn’t quite as young as I’d first thought. I noticed the others glancing across at her too, and wondered whether there might be looks of envy from those of similar age to Debbie.

“Thank you,” said Louise, before turning towards the couple on my left. The youth rose, exuding aggression in his stance. “Mike Ryan. I’m one of the forgotten generation who haven’t been able to find a job thanks to the old establishment figures who make the decisions.” He almost spat the words out, and I could see from his looks that he counted Gail, Trish, Debbie and myself amongst the
old establishment figures
. With his long hair, sideburns, armless T-shirt and torn jeans he almost seemed to be a throwback from an earlier decade. “So I’ve plenty of time on my hands, and as the unemployed can do the course for a fiver, I decided to let you all have the benefit of my knowledge. I wasn’t expecting to be with so many old people, though,” he added.

There was silence for a second, then the girl alongside him said, “Okay, you’ve had your say. Sit down, Mike.” As he sat I noticed him casting a long and hard look at Gail, and a small smile played on his lips.

Trying to cover up the awkward silence, I said, “And finally, young lady?” I took a good look at her as I spoke, noting her long blonde hair and the too-heavy make-up that she’d applied around her eyes. She was dressed mainly in black, and with just a hint of black lipstick; I imagined she was perhaps an undecided Goth.

The girl paused for a moment, as if considering whether to answer or just get up and leave. Finally, she spoke. “Okay,” she said, remaining seated. “I’m Emma Wilkinson, I’ll be twenty next month, and I work on the tills at Lidl. And I’m only here because Mike told me to come.” She lowered her head, as if embarrassed at her admission; it was abundantly clear that she really didn’t want to be here. Then, as if she’d come to a decision, she added, “I was never very good at school, and I didn’t understand a lot of what the teachers said, so I never really bothered with any of it. I thought this might give me a chance to learn something for once.” Mike laughed, but not in a pleasant way. Emma immediately clammed up and lowered her head once more.

Once more, I tried not to be judgemental, but I found myself thinking that I didn’t like Mike at all. He seemed to exert an unhealthy influence over Emma, who might, given the chance, find this course extremely beneficial, even though the class was full of
old
people. Perhaps others felt the same, for Louise looked at her watch and said, “Normally we’d have a break around eight o’clock, but, as this is the first night, why don’t we have our tea now? The machines are in the hallway — you’ll have passed them when we came in — and we’ll meet back here in fifteen minutes. Okay?”

We all mumbled our agreement and stood to leave. It was noticeable that Mike and Emma remained behind — Emma half rose, but then looked at Mike and sat down again — while Louise dashed off, doubtless wondering just what she’d let herself in for.

“I’m just going to phone my husband,” said Gail, taking out an outdated mobile. I was a little surprised, as, from the way she had described her circumstances, I would have expected her to have the latest model, complete with all the apps; perhaps she struggled with new technology as much as I did, and a simple ‘call and text’ phone suited her best. I couldn’t even manage that.

“That just leaves the three of us, then,” said Trish. “Come on, let’s get a coffee.”

Debbie picked up her battered old satchel, and I said, “I’m sure we can leave our things here. They’ll be safe enough.”

“It isn’t that, E…Ethan? No, I take this everywhere with me. You see, I’m writing a novel, but I’m a bit embarrassed about anybody seeing it just yet.”

“A novel! Wow, I wish I had the ability to do something like that. You should be proud of it and want to show it off to everybody.”

“Perhaps when it’s finished. It’s all a bit of a jumble at the moment. I’m aiming to complete it before the year ends, so…but until then, I feel at bit…you know.”

“We understand,” said Trish, “and I agree with Ethan. Good on you.” They left the room and I followed along behind them while they chatted like old friends, even though I doubted that they’d ever met before the course began.

I thought about the other class members, and I felt a little bit like an outsider looking in. True, Debbie and Trish had been pleasant enough, but perhaps that was just out of politeness. If they were getting along as well as it appeared they were, would there be any room for me as a third wheel? Nerves began to get the better of me, and I wondered if coming here was the right thing or not. If it hadn’t been for the promise I made Julie, I might have left there and then. As I sipped the hot liquid masquerading as coffee I hoped that I hadn’t made a big mistake.

***

The rest of the evening went much better and I was glad I had decided to persevere. Louise was waiting for us all when we returned, and I noticed she had moved to the front teacher’s desk rather than try and join us at the table as one of the group.

“Tonight I’m just going to give you a bit of background,” she began. “I’ll leave the specifics for the remainder of the programme — nine specific events over nine weeks. What I want to cover this evening, then, is a little about Lancashire in the early part of the twentieth century, when in many towns of the county cotton was king, as the Confederates used to say.”

I scribbled notes while Louise talked; this was what I had signed up for, and I was glad I had decided not to leave during the coffee break. Louise continued with her background on the Lancashire of the last century, and before I knew it it was nine o’clock and time for the class to end.

“So tonight I’ve given you a basic overview of the county, rather than starting the course itself,” she concluded. “As I said before, that is partly because I want to talk about nine specific events in the remaining nine weeks, but I was originally going to do a different sort of introduction today, as a precursor to the first of the nine.”

“Why didn’t you, then,” asked Mike, “instead of making us sit through all that boring rubbish?”

“It wasn’t boring. I enjoyed it,” said Trish, and I could see Gail and Debbie nodding in agreement while Emma sank lower into her chair as if to distance herself from Mike’s attitudinal words.

“I’m sorry you found it boring,” said Louise slowly. “I hope you’ll find the rest of the course more interesting. If there is any more, that is.”

“Why? Won’t you be running any further classes?” I asked. “If it’s something any of us have said, I’m sure it wasn’t meant.” I cast a pointed look to my left as I spoke.

“No, Ethan, it’s nothing like that at all. In fact, I welcome controversy. There’s nothing like a good discussion to get the adrenalin flowing. No, it’s something entirely different. You see, in order for a course to run, a minimum of ten students are required. That’s a rule of the department. Although we only had four of you enrolling last Wednesday, and the other two enrolled by post, I expected that we’d have a few more dropping in tonight to increase the numbers, but that hasn’t happened. That was why I changed tonight’s introduction, as I didn’t want to make a start on the real content of the course if I couldn’t take it to its natural end.”

“So it’s all been for nothing,” I said, realising how disappointed I was that the course was not going to continue; it was quite a turnaround from my feelings an hour and a half earlier.

“Not necessarily,” said Louise. “I’ll submit my report, and I’ll include a recommendation that the course
does
continue, as we have a good group of different ages and opinions and I think it will be very valuable. Besides, I really do want to tell the nine separate tales, as I think there is something important about them. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that what I intend to cover could be, as they say, a matter of life and death.”

I wanted to ask what she meant by that, but before I had the chance to speak Gail was asking a question. “But if you said it was a department rule…” she began.

“Yes, it is. But rules are flexible at times. At break, I saw that there were many more people on the photography and life-drawing courses—” Mike snorted and muttered, “Perverts,” as she said this “—and,” said Louise, in a slightly louder voice, almost as if she were regretting what she had just said about the group, “I hope that our shortfall won’t be as important when taken into consideration with the extra numbers on those programmes. But, if any of you do know of anyone else who might like to come, please give them the details and get them to phone the department and perhaps that will make a difference as well.”

“How will we know if it’s been cancelled?” asked Debbie.

“Yeah, and if it is, I want me money back,” said an angry-sounding Mike.

“Don’t worry,” said Louise. “If the course doesn’t continue, you’ll be repaid in full. Every last penny,” she added, pointedly avoiding looking at Mike. “You may get a letter through the post before Tuesday telling you it’s cancelled, but if you don’t just turn up as usual and assume the class is going ahead. Hopefully, I’ll see you all next week.”

I walked out of the college in somewhat of a daze, barely aware of anybody else until I heard Trish saying, “Well, that was different.” I turned and saw she was talking to Debbie.

“Yes, it was. What do you think, Ethan?”

“Oh, I suppose I’m a little disappointed now. I wasn’t sure about it all at first, but once the class got going after coffee I was really beginning to enjoy it. I was looking forward to the discussions over the next few weeks, but now that’s all been put in doubt.”

“Do you know anybody else who could come?” asked Trish to both of us, but we both shook our heads. “No, me neither,” she added. “I don’t know about the other three, so let’s hope Louise can come up with someone else.”

“Yes, let’s,” I added. “It might be good if a few younger ones came — perhaps then Mike and Emma might not feel out on a limb. Or even somebody in their thirties, so we’ve a variety of ages and experiences.”

“I know what you mean,” said Debbie. “I suppose it must be quite difficult for them when everybody else is a little bit older.”
A little bit?
I thought, but I didn’t say anything. “I quite like Emma, but I’m not too sure about Mike. But it’s the first night, so I’m trying not to be too critical. The point is, we need everybody we can get if the course is going to run, and it’s important that it does, so we’ll have to just cross our fingers and hope for the best.”

I nodded, knowing she was right. It was nice to know that Debbie was as keen as I was to keep the group going. We said our goodnights and I walked slowly back home, pondering on an interesting first night.

***

I had barely stepped through the front door when the phone rang. As I answered I heard Julie’s babbling tones coming down the line.

“Well, did you go to class?”

“Yes, I went.”

“And?”

“And it was good. But this might be the only time.”

“Dad! You mustn’t give up that easily.”

“Hold on a second. The course might not run next week as only a few enrolled on it. If they don’t get the numbers, it’ll probably be cancelled.”

“I told you to go for a more popular one.”

“This was the one that interested me. Anyway, there’s a chance it’ll still run.”

“And what about the other students? Are they nice?”

“Oh, a couple seem all right.”

“And would those couple perhaps be women around your age?”

“I suppose they are. I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Dad! Look, I’ve got to go now, but let me know how it goes. And how you get on with your classmates. Remember, play nicely with them. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jules,” I said with a smile, and I put the phone down.

Chapter Two

Week 2 — Manchester — Poisoning

Tuesday 27
^th
September 2011

The next week passed remarkably slowly. Every morning, I’d wait for the post to arrive, breathing a sigh of relief when there was nothing about cancelling the course in the mail. I pottered around my small room, willing the days to pass. Ever since the divorce, I had been living in a small rented flat in Fairhaven. It was quite a nice area, but I only had my own bedsit and a kitchen in the sprawling Victorian building, sharing the bathroom with the other tenants, and I never felt that I could call it my home. Sad, really, that this was all I had to show after a lifetime at work.

The two other tenants were both males in their thirties. They were out at work all day and weren’t ones for socialising, even if I had wanted to spend my evenings with people from a different generation with different sets of values. Consequently, the course took on an even greater importance, and when Tuesday came and there was still no word from the Education Department I began to hope that all would work out after all.

In truth, it was the company that was the attraction rather than the course itself. The latter seemed as if it was going to be interesting enough, so it was fair to say that I was looking forward to the subject matter, but I had thought a lot about the other class members, particularly Debbie and Trish, over the last week. I hadn’t mentioned them to Julie, of course; I didn’t confide everything during the conversations with my daughter.

Trish had introduced herself as ‘happily divorced’. Debbie had told us she had ‘left her husband’. That didn’t mean, of course, that they weren’t in settled relationships now, but at least there was the possibility that they were in a similar position to me. Were they to be involved with somebody else, then that would be a different matter. After what my wife had put me through, I could never even contemplate splitting up anybody else’s relationship.

I found myself attracted to the two women in completely different ways. Trish appeared, I suppose, to be the ‘safe’ choice. She dressed attractively yet sensibly, exuding the air of a smart, successful businesswoman who was happy with her lot in life. I had thought at first that her persona didn’t fully equate with her position as a sandwich maker, but that was being condescending on my part. Even if it was ‘only’ sandwiches, it was her own business, and she had set it up and made a success of it. She had also initiated the conversations at break time, and seemed prepared to take charge and make decisions. She showed no lack of confidence or sense of unease. I also figured that her self-confidence would make her the stronger of the two. It might be good for me to have somebody like her in my life.