Who He Is (FireNine, book 1) (18 page)

“Do you want crème?” he asked.

“Please.”

“Sugar?”

“Yes, please.” He nodded and I inhaled, taking a seat at the table. The coffee smelled pleasant, rich, and was already clearing my head of
some of the throbbing.

Gage stirred a spoon around in a black mug and then placed it in front of me. Winking, he turned back around and went for the microwave. “I went out this morning to get some bagels from Panera. You mentioned last night how you liked the cinnamon crunch kind with hazelnut cream cheese?”

My eyes stretched. How did he remember that? I’d barely said much about it. The conversation about bagels was so minor that
I
couldn’t even remember it.

Instead of questioning it, I took a sip of my coffee and nodded. “Yeah, that’s my favorite,” I said after swallowing the hot liquid. He smirked over his shoulder and brought the brown bag
to the table. He took the seat across from me and placed one of the plastic butter knives in front of me. “You know you didn’t have to do this, Gage,” I said.

“I wanted to.” He placed one of the sweet bagels in front of me. “I’ve never had Panera before.”

“Well, it’s really good.” I grabbed my bagel, the butter knife, and then one of the packets of cream cheese. “Their broccoli cheddar soup is my favorite.”

“Oh. I shoulda got you that, too.” He smirked.

“No.” I shook my head. “It’s fine. This is more than enough… Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Gage and I ate silently for the first few minutes. I was right about it being awkward on my behalf, but he didn’t seem to mind the silence. He would take a few glances at me whenever taking a bite into his bagel and I would force a smile, pretending I didn’t mind. It was cute… but weird. I was having breakfast…
alone
… with Gage Grendel. Who knew?

“W
e’re all going to the waterpark today,” he said, smiling.

“A waterpark? I’ve never been to one before.”

He gaped at me. “What?” He smiled so widely it revealed all his teeth. “You’ve never been to a waterpark before? What kind of childhood did you have?”

A shitty one
. I shrugged it off. “Obviously one that wasn’t filled with waterparks.”

He laughed. “Well, today we’ll be changing that. I have to say, Ellie, I feel like I’ve introduced you to a ton of new things lately. The club, square dancing in Texas, house parties with tequila, and now the waterpark? You really are an innocent girl.”

I laughed off his statement. Innocent was far from what I was. I used to be terrible. “I guess so,” I sighed.

He looked me over, folding his fingers on top of the table. He then placed a leg on his knee, leaned his back against his chair, and brought his mug to his lips. “Did you have fun with me last night?” he asked after taking a sip.

I hesitated. Hell yeah, I had fun. Too much fun. He licked me between my legs for heaven’s sake. That had to be a sign of some kind of excitement. “I did.”

“And you still think we’re ‘just friends?’”

My lips pressed and I shook my head. “Why would we be more than that, Gage?”

He frowned. “After what happened between us, w
hy wouldn’t we be?”

“Because, like you said last night, you’re Gage Grendel. You don’t care. Friends are all we need to be. Nothing more.”

“But I showed you last night we could be way more than that. I wanna try a little something else with you.”

“We were drunk, Gage. Besides, one party doesn’t determine that we’re more than f
riends. We were just having fun, right?”

He was about to say something else, but then his lips sealed. He nodded, dropping his leg to sit fo
rward. “You’re right.” He huffed, his jaw ticking. “It’s whatever.” He placed his coffee down, then snatched the paper bag off the table to drop it into the trash bin. “Ben unlocked your bus earlier. You can go now.” I stared at his back, wide-eyed, as he marched for his bedroom and slammed his door behind him.

Was he dismissing me like I was just another one-night stand? Was he really treating me like one of the millions of whores he’d encountered just because I didn’t want to be toyed with? Just because I knew it would turn for the worst if we were
to turn into more than just friends? My mouth gaped open, disbelieving what he’d just said to me. He was brushing me off.

Damn it. He was the exact reason I didn’t like to get comfortable with people. People expected too much from me and I couldn’t live up to everyone’s expectations. My mind was foggy, but I could remember him clearly saying I deserved someone better than him and Montana. Someone worthy of my time. What’s more than friends anyway? Casual sex? Kissing and hugging?
We did all that last night and had fun? Why want more? Why make it deeper when it would only be temporary?

Gage and I were no match.
One: he had a girlfriend. And two: it wouldn’t last between us. It would’ve been a complete waste of our time. As soon as the tour ended, I would be back in Virginia for school and he would continue doing what he normally did, which was having sex with random girls and then dismissing them the next morning for someone fresher.

I knew, as bad as I
felt, I was right by telling him no. We had fun, but I wasn’t about to get any closer to Gage just to have battered and fucked-up emotions when it’s all over. I had enough problems I was still trying to look past.

Most would consider
it being selfish or bitchy, but I had my reasons. I wasn’t about to get fucked over because of him. It was best to play it safe.

After
guarding my eyes from the blazing sun while walking across the parking lot, I was finally at my bus. As I boarded, no one was around, so I decided to hit the shower and get out of the filthy dress Gage bought for me. I wanted no part of it anymore. I just wanted to trash it and pretend the previous night never happened. I wanted to so badly, but instead, I stuffed it in the bottom of my suitcase.

As the warm water ran over me, I absorbed the soothing feel of it. It calmed me down a lot more than intended, so after I was done, I locked my bedroom door behind me and lounged around in just my pink bath towel. My hair was still wet, but it was opening my pores, relieving me of the minor headache I was still carrying. The coffee helped a ton, too. Along with the cup of water I took before storming off the FireNine bus.

I tried to distract my mind from Gage by going back to the bathroom and shaving my legs, painting my toes, my fingernails, and even braiding my hair, but none of it worked. I couldn’t get over how rude he was to me. I mean, he had his reasons to be upset, but I couldn’t understand why he wanted something with me so badly? I would have looked like the dumbest girl alive had I given Gage more of me. It was already a close one last night and I swore never to get that close again.

In the back of my mind, I knew it would probably be impossible.

During the process of girly-ing myself up, I couldn’t help but relive the moments when Gage and I kissed—my first kiss, and it was better than I’d ever imagined. His lips molded with mine perfectly. His kisses always started off slow, tender, erotic, but then they would pick up and become slightly demanding, hungry, yet still a huge turn-on for me.

I noticed every time he kissed me, one of his hands would press against the small of my back; the other would cup my face. He wanted the kiss to drag on for however long, and I was willing. I never wanted to pull away from him. The only time we would stop was if we were interrupted and someone bumped into us or if we were running off to most likely find a new spot to make out.

The addition of his tongue made the kisses whole. He knew exactly how to play with mine—how to slide it around so I would become weak at the knees. Every time we tasted one another, I was reminded that his tongue had explored more places of my body than one. I didn’t think it was possible to get so excited with someone like him and with the alcohol coursing through me, it made the night ten times more fun for us.

Gage and I talked a lot, but for some reason I couldn’t remember about what. I knew a lot of the conversations were pointless, but some seemed so meaningful that I cursed at myself in the mirror for not remembering. Gage had opened up to me in some ways. He didn’t give me much (otherwise, I would remember it), but it was enough for me to see that maybe he wasn’t the arrogant rocker I thought he was.

I was frowning at myself in the mirror entirely too much that I didn’t even notice someone had come inside the bus. Something heavy dropped on the floor and I gasped, spinning around and yanking the door open. I hurried down the hallway but paused in front of Cal’s wide-open door.

He was standing above a stack of magazines, his gaze down and focused intently on them. I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, but as I cleared my throat, he looked up and at the sight of me he smiled sweetly.

“Oh, hi, Eliza,” he said, tossing me a light wave and stepping in front of the magazines.

I waved back. “Hi. What are you doing?” Cal’s eyes traveled southward and I looked with him, embarrassed that I was still walking around in only my towel.

“I see you’re getting ready for the waterpark today.” He chuckled.

I blushed. “Um… yeah.” I took a step back, but he came toward me, his head tilted, a smile still on his lips.

“I was just going through some of the magazines for
It’s Real
. Trying to figure out what should be included, taken out, etc.”

“Oh.
” I nodded, my lips pressed.

He studied me for another moment, ogling my cleavage mainly and not bothering to hide it. “Everyone’s partnering up for the waterpark today,” Cal said, finally looking into my eyes. “Who’s your partner?”

My eyebrows stitched. “I didn’t think I had to have one.”

“Well, of course you do.” He laughed. “What fun would it be not to have a partner at a waterpark? Ben rented the whole park out for us anyway, and it would kind of suck if you got lost.”

“What? Why would he rent out the whole thing?”

“I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It might be because he doesn’t want the boys to get trampled by hundreds of half-naked women.”

I nodded, my lips pressing again. His reason was right on. “It’s kind of weird that twenty-three and twenty-four-year-old men are going to a waterpark anyway.” I laughed.

“FireNine is hilarious. They’ll have fun anywhere. I heard it was Montana and Gage’s idea. They have a few people coming along with them as well
, so I’m sure they’re already partnered up.” Cal hesitated, looking me over. “I don’t have a partner. I thought we could maybe… you know… partner up?”

I giggled. “We can, but what about Ben?”

“Ben’s a great guy… I just don’t think he’s the kind of guy I should be hanging out with… at a waterpark. Not that he isn’t cool to hang with, he’s just—”

“Gay,” I blurted, laughing.

“Uh… yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “It would be kind of awkward to be half-naked with him the entire time—no offense. Besides, I think it’d be much better to see you that way—but don’t tell him I said that.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at him. I knew he wasn’t being offensive
. “Okay. We can be partners. What time is everyone going?”

“I believe within the next hour. The band’s just getting back in from their night out.”

“Oh, okay.” I took a step back and started down the hallway. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Can’t wait.” He winked.

I ducked into my room before he could catch me turning a bright shade of red. It was going to be a fun sight to see Cal Avery half-naked. I knew beneath the vintage T-shirts he wore, he had a glorious body. I was hoping it would be a six-pack I could drool all over. Oh, how delectable would that be?

I locked my door behind me before scrambling through my suitcase to find my bathing suits. I’d packed two of them. The last time I’d gone swimming was during my last semester of college. I swam at the community indoor po
ol as part of my workout. Ben gave me money every week, so I bought bathing suits and athletic clothes whenever I could. It was probably why it was so hard for me to find anything when we packed for the FireNine tour. All I had was shorts, tank tops, and sports bras. The clothes I’d packed for the tour were all bought with Ben, and he had to approve every single thing I picked out while shopping.