Who Brings Forth the Wind (Kensington Chronicles) (49 page)

"But you say that Lucinda has not been in touch?" Sunny

inquired.

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"I've written her twice," Stacy explained, "asking

write to me so we can talk this out, but I've not heard ax.,

love Lucinda and I've already forgiven her, but I did tell

want some answers. She's obviously not ready to give th

me."

"Another thing to pray about."

"Yes," Stacy agreed

Much to everyone's delight, Sunny and Brandon ended u

staying for the greater part of the day. However, Stacy found i

taxing. In fact she was so tired that Tanner had to hold ,

surprise he had been keeping over until the following da$ i

The look of delight on Stacy and Drew's faces when he brought!

Hettie into the breakfast room the next morning was worth

the putting aside of his own feelings about the old servant.

lucinda knew that all of london was talking about her

and Roddy. It was not the gentle variety of gossip as when

they'd been married or what a handsome couple they made,

but it was the vicious type, the type Lucinda herself had often

engaged in. Minds and tongues were speculating everywhere

as to why the Earl of Glyn's wife had chosen to move from

their home.

Some said it was because they'd ruined a beautiful relationship

by getting married in the first place. Others said that

nothing could last forever, and some even said that the affections

of both parties had drifted and each decided to seek out

greener pastures.

Lucinda knew better than anyone how far the rumors

were from the truth. The fact that the Blackwells lived so far

distant from London was the only reason the duplicity of

Lucinda's actions toward Tanner and Stacy were not on every

tabloid in the city.

Lucinda kept telling herself she didn't care. She staunchly

put aside all emotions and went shopping and to the theater

whenever she desired. She did not see other men, but she had

determined to be as worldly as ever, a facade she couldn't quite manage in the lonely confines of her own room.

This morning she was feeling every one of her years and so

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lonely for Roddy that she wanted to weep. Their last convt

tion, the one she managed to submerge so deeply within

mind that she hadn't thought about it in all these weeks, ci

back to her now so sharply that Roddy could have beei standing in the room with her.

"How could you?" Lucinda spat in anger.

"How could I what? Go after Stacy? Return her to her^

husband?"

"How could you go behind my back?"

Roddy stared at her in disbelief. He'd returned from his

search for Tanner to find that Lucinda had received word of

his actions and had moved from Brentwood to one of London's

finest hotels. She was beside herself when he sought her

out at the hotel, but her worry had nothing to do with Roddy's

well-being in the last four days, only the exposure of her

subterfuge.

"How can you possibly accuse me of going behind your back?"

"You don't understand," Lucinda railed. "He's going to

hurt her again, just like he always has. She thinks she wants

him, but she doesn't really. She was probably completely over

him by the time you got there, but you've sent Tanner to her

and now he'll give her no choice but to return."

"You couldn't be more wrong." Roddy's voice told his wife

he was growing furious. "She was miserable and lonely without

him. You can ask her yourself."

"How could you?" was all Lucinda would say.

"Your line of reasoning frightens me. In fact,you frighten

me," Roddy told Lucinda coldly. Lucinda's eyes widened with

shock. However, Roddy went on without mercy. "You wait until I

leave, and then you sneak Stacy and Drew away, and now you

stand there and ask me how I could go behind your back. Like I

said, you frighten me." Roddy turned to the door but paused

just before leaving. "When you're ready to come to your

senses and talk about this, Lucinda, you know where to find

me." With that Roddy had walked out. They hadn't spoken

since.

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Now the words, the entire scene, unfolded so clearly in

:inda's mind that she felt a stab of pain around her heart. He

^Jiad been so right. At the time she had refused to see her own

wrong. She had accused him so she didn't have to face her own

' actions. But now...

Lucinda could not finish the thought. It had been weeks

since she'd seen him. What if it was too late? What if Roddy had

given up on her and begun to look for another?

Lucinda found this thought so unbearable that without

(care for how she looked, she snatched her cloak and ordered

her carriage. She was at Brentwood before she really had time

to think about what she would say, but she needed to see

Roddy so badly that she didn't care. It felt strange to come to

the door as a guest, but Roddy's man, Carlson, greeted her

warmly and, thankfully, told her that his lord was in.

Carlson tried to show her to the parlor, but Lucinda declined.

She was still standing in the entryway, taking in

the sights and smells of her beloved home, when she heard

Roddy's footsteps. He stopped just two feet away from her and

drank in the sight of her flushed face and messy hair. She was

wearing a simple day-dress, with no jewelry or special fixings,

and Roddy thought her beautiful.

Lucinda was feeling quite the same way. Roddy had never

looked more wonderful. He was jacketless, but his shin was

very white and crisp and his necktie was the same color as his

eyes. He stood tall, with his back straight and every hair in

place. Lucinda's eyes ate up the sight of him.

"Hello, Cinda," he said gently and in the next instant she

quite nearly threw herself into his arms. She sobbed without

disgrace and was still sobbing when Roddy led her into his office, gently helping her get comfortable on the sofa. When

Lucinda's sobbing had subsided, he began to question her

gently, his arms still tightly around her.

"Why have you come?"

"I missed you so,"

"I missed you too. Are you back to stay?"

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349

"If you'll still have me," Lucinda hiccuped.

"There was never any question of that, Cinda. My love for

you is constant, but if you haven't apologized to Stacy then you

need to do that."

"She wrote me twice, but I was too angry to write back."

"And how do you feel now?"

Lucinda sniffed "I still think Tanner will hurt her, but I feel

just wretched for hiding her. It was so foolish of me. Do you

think she'll forgive me?"

"I'm sure she will."

"And you, Roddy? Can you find it in your heart to forgive

me?"

"I already have."

Lucinda let herself be cuddled against his chest for a long

moment. She was no longer crying, but she felt weak and

shaky all over. Some minutes passed in silence, and then

Lucinda sat up suddenly.

"I'll go to her, Roddy. I won't write. I'll go to Winslow and

make things right."

"I think that's a wonderful idea, my darling, but the baby is

due very soon now, and I wonder if maybe you should wait:"

Lucinda's face was a mask of horror. "The baby! I'd almost

forgotten about the baby. Oh, Roddy, what have I done?"

Roddy thought that her tears were spent, but he was

wrong. She was off again on a flood of weeping that took some

time to calm. When Roddy was certain that Lucinda was ready

to listen, he told her she could write to Stacy, but that they

would not visit until sometime after the baby was born.

Lucinda agreed without argument.

There was something different about Roddy. He was taking

charge of things in a very soothing way, and Lucinda, only

too happy to be back in his care, was for the first time in her

life thrilled to let him lead.

Tanner thought that if Stacy shifted one more time in her

chair, he was going to come undone. It was obvious she was

uncomfortable, but she was not at the moment going to say

anything.

Tanner's eyes kept straying to Hettie, who was knitting in a

chair but whose eyes constantly drifted to her mistress. He

was trying to read in Hettie's face what Stacy would not admit

to. All at once, Tanner could stand no more. He stood and

nearly accused his wife.

"You're in pain, aren't you? I wish you would just tell me."

"But I'm not, Tanner." Stacy's voice was reasonable. "I'm

not feeling the best, sort of achy, but I'm not in labor."

Tanner's seat hit the chair very hard. He really thought this

was it.

"I think I would like to go to bed, however," Stacy continued.

"I know it's early, but I'm tired"

Tanner nodded and rose, trying hard not to dread the next

days or weeks. He was certain the baby was coming tonight,

but he was not excited, only anxious. This was all new for him,

and he simply wanted to get it started and over with. He knew

that Stacy wouldn't appreciate his feelings, so he kept them to

himself.

Five hours later, he wished he'd voiced his thoughts, if for

no other reason than to have them off his chest. Stacy had

fallen asleep immediately, but not Tanner. He had still been

awake at midnight and at one. At any other time he'd have

gone off and done some work, read, or even taken a walk, but

his need to be near Stacy right now put him in bed at nine

o'clock and kept him there even when all he did was stare at

the ceiling.

Tanner finally drifted off somewhere around two in the

morning, which was the cause for all sorts of confusion when

Stacy woke him at three.

"Tanner," Stacy called softly, but her husband did little

more than stir.

"Tanner, can you wake up?"

"Urn."

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351

The response was slightly more than the first time, but not

enough.

"Tanner, I need you to get Hettie."

Her voice was louder this time, and Tanner finally stirred.

"What did you say?"

"I need Hettie."

"What do we need Hettie in here for?" His voice sounded

very crabby, and Stacy had all she could do not to laugh.

"Things are starting, and I want Hettie."

"Things? What things?"

Stacy did laugh this time, but another contraction hit and

her breath was cut off in a sharp gasp. Understanding finally

dawned, and Tanner flew out of the bed. He didn't bother with

his robe. If Stacy had been able to speak, she would have told

him to cover up for poor Hettie's sake.

The sun had been up for hours when Stacy, feeling utterly

spent, lay back against her pillows. She knew she had less than

a minute before she would need to push again, but right at the

moment, she didn't know where she would find the store.

"Is this one worse, Hettie?"

"Than Drew?"

"Yes."

"I can see you're not going to bleed as badly this time, but

the pains are all 'bout the same, I 'spect."

Stacy would have replied, but another pain was on top of

her. Tanner had been with her for most of the time, but when

he'd become shaky, Stacy had finally sent him away to eat

something. He was just coming in as the pain subsided

"I feel like I can't keep this up," she admitted softly, and

Tanner looked into her exhausted eyes with tenderness. He

thought she was the most amazing woman on earth.

"I'll be here for you."

"What if I can't do it, Tanner? What if I can't push again?"

Tanner did not need to answer because another pain

racked Stacy's body. He supported her back as she pushed.

"I see the head," Hettie cried, and new strength seemed to

pour over Stacy. She waited anxiously for the next contraction,

ready to do whatever was asked of her in order to meet this

baby.

"Here it comes, Hettie," Stacy gasped, and the old woman

stood ready.

A long minute passed.

"One more and we'll have it," Hettie crooned, and she was

right. The next contraction hit, and the old woman cackled

with delight.

"A girl! A big, healthy girl with a head full of black hair!"

Stacy lay back and laughed weakly with relief. She wanted

to reach for the baby, but her arms felt weighted. A glance at

Tanner made her chuckle again. He was staring at the squalling

red infant in Hettie's hands as if he were in a trance.

Tanner Richardson had never seen anything so miraculous

as the birth of his daughter. She was a mess, all red and

curled up and howling at the top of her voice, but he thought

she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen.

/ love her, he thought to himself. She's my daughter, and I

love her. I love her the way I loved Drew the first time I set eyes

on him.

The magnitude of his thoughts was overwhelming. He

glanced down at Stacy, her own eyes now back on their

daughter, and thought about what she'd just given of herself.

She'd been in agony to accomplish this wonder, and now she

was smiling and talking to their baby.

"Don't cry, my darling. Mumma's here. Don't cry. May I have her, Hettie?"

"Just another minute, and she's all yours."

Hettie finished the cleanup, and after wrapping the baby in a soft warm wrap, she handed her to her mother. Stacy

crooned softly into the baby's face and after a moment, the

tears stopped. She couldn't rock her very well, but she moved

her arms just enough. Within moments, the baby was asleep.

"Would you like to hold her?"

Tanner's eyes flew to Stacy's. He'd been so intent on the

baby that he hadn't immediately realized she was speaking to

him. He shook his head.

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353

"Another time" was all he said

"All right." Stacy watched him for a moment. "Are you

disappointed that it's not another boy?"

"Not in the least," Tanner told her. There was so much

more that he wanted to say, but none of it would come. Had

they been alone he might have tried, but Hettie's presence

along with that of three housemaids caused him to keep still.

He was suddenly very tired. Tanner opened his mouth to

tell Stacy that he was headed off to get some rest, but her eyes

were already closed, the sleeping baby still tucked in the

crook of her arm. Seeing this, Tanner made his way from the

room to find his own rest.

Three hours later Tanner returned to the bedroom to find

Stacy awake and partially sitting up. He strode confidently

into the room, but slowed somewhat when he saw the baby at

her breast. That Stacy planned to nurse the baby herself had

never occurred to him. He wasn't certain how he felt about

this. He loved his daughter, but he'd had the distinct impression

that when she was born, he could have his wife back.

Selfishness was beginning to rear its ugly head.

"Hello," Stacy greeted him and watched as Tanner came to

the bed, sat down, and leaned against the footboard

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Did you get some sleep?"

"Yes. I was just in with Drew. He wants to see you."

Stacy nodded "I asked Hettie to wait until I'd fed the

baby."

"Did you nurse Drew?"

"Yes," Stacy answered, and for the first time understood

the odd expression on Tanner's face. It was on the tip of

Stacy's tongue to ask Tanner if he objected, but she knew she

couldn't do that. She had already made up her mind.

"I'm sorry you don't care for the idea."

Tanner noticed that she did not offer to stop. "It's not that I

don't care for the idea as much as it takes a little getting used

to. I know I'm being selfish, but I thought I would be getting

my wife back."

"I think you will be getting me back, but I won't tell you

that she'll never interfere. We've created this child together,

and I think my care of her is important. It would be easier if

we'd been living together all these years, but in truth it isn't all

that much time to sacrifice. Drew stopped nursing before he

was nine months old. In fact, he tapered way off around six

months."

Tanner nodded. He was not overly upset and, in truth, the

idea was becoming easier all the time. He stared down at the

baby and then shifted to his stomach so he could watch her.

"I think she's done."

Stacy gently bounced her a few times, and she began to

suck again.

"She keeps falling asleep, so I have to give her little wake-up

calls."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not hurt exactly, but it will take some time for my skin to

toughen up and grow accustomed to the sucking."

Tanner was silent as he watched for the next few seconds.

When the baby seemed to be sleeping again, he asked, "What

are we going to call her?"

"I don't know. Have you any ideas?"

"Was your mother's name Alexa?"

"Yes. How did you know that?"

"While we were at Morgan I was studying her portrait.

Your grandfather's man--"

"Peters?"

"Yes, Peters. He came by and said it was your mother and

that her name had been Alexa Catherine."

"Alexa." Stacy tried the name on her tongue. "I don't think

I would have thought of it, but I like it."

"Alexa it is then. Alexa Anastasia Richardson."

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Stacy grinned in delight and felt amazed over how painless

it had been. She'd heard that people could go for weeks

with great struggles and quarrels over names, but this one was

so perfect.

Alexa was done eating, so Stacy shifted her to her shoulder,

covered herself, and gently rubbed the baby's back.

Tanner continued to watch her, and after a moment Stacy

asked if he wanted to hold Alexa.

Tanner sat against the headboard this time and carefully

took the baby. She was sound asleep and even though he

jostled her slightly, she never stirred. She was so tiny in his

hands. Her head was slightly pointed at the top, but Stacy had

assured Tanner this was from the birth and would change

with time. Alexa's lashes were long and dark and lay like tiny

fans against her cheeks. She was round and soft, and Tanner

couldn't decide which he enjoyed more, the feel of her soft

skin or her fragrance, which reminded him of a forest after the

rain.

After a few minutes he shifted Alexa around until she lay in

the crook of his arm. Stacy was silent as he stared down into

the baby's face. Suddenly Tanner turned to her, his voice low,

but almost fierce.

"If a man offered to make her his mistress, I'd call him

out--but that's exactly what I did to you."

Stacy said nothing, but the pain of those days when she

thought Tanner would never be hers and when he admitted

that he'd never wanted her for a wife, came flooding back.

"I should have been pilloried for such a thing."

"It's over now, Tanner." Stacy's voice was gentle.

"It might be over, but I've never told you how much I regret

my actions and words. I'm sorry, Stacy."

Stacy could hardly believe her ears as her husband apologized

for the first time in their relationship. She stared at him,

unable to frame any type of reply.

As it was she didn't have to. Tanner, still holding the baby,

leaned toward her. It was the most tender of kisses, and when

they parted Tanner looked into her eyes for a long time.

She didn't know what he was thinking and wasn't sure if

she should speak. For the moment they were content to be

silent in each other's company, a silence that lasted only

briefly as Drew was finally allowed to come and meet his baby

sister.

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"three months old today," Stacy whispered quietly to her

baby daughter. "What a big girl you are."

Just the sound of Stacy's voice was enough to send Alexa's

body into a tempest of leg kicks and arm swings. Her small,

round face was wreathed in smiles. She was a most delightful

baby, and Stacy grinned down at her as they sat before the fire

in the nursery. The warmer winter had made their cool spring

feel all the colder, but Stacy didn't mind being forced indoors

when the company was so delightful.

"Aunt Lucinda and Uncle Roddy will be here any time. Did

you know that?"

Alexa, who didn't understand a word of it, smiled and

kicked some more. Watching her, Stacy knew how amazed

Roddy and Lucinda would be. She had only been a month old,

still sleeping most of the time, when they'd last visited. Now

her world was expanding, and she was turning into a real

person. At the moment, however, her world was her mother's