Who Brings Forth the Wind (Kensington Chronicles) (41 page)

"I've missed him so much. I was even hoping things

wouldn't work out between Stacy and Tanner so he could

come back here."

"Cinda." Roddy's voice was a soft rebuke. "That's a horrible

way to think, and besides, Winslow is closer to us than

The day after the dress fitting, a Richardson carriage

pulled up in front of Featherstone. Stacy glanced out the

carriage window to see Lady Andrea waiting for her. The first

day in town, after Price had given Stacy the itinerary, she had

been on the verge of sending her note to Lucinda and Roddy

suggesting they have tea. However, a note arrived from Brandon's

mother before Stacy could do anything.

How she had known that Stacy was in London, Stacy could

not imagine, but she was thrilled to be able to accept. The

note she had finally sent to Lucinda and Roddy asked them if

they would like to have Drew while she was at the dressmaker's

and with Lady Andrea. Stacy felt a twinge of guilt at

not spending the following day with them, but wanted very

much to see Lady Andrea and felt her family would understand

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"My dear," Andrea said warmly as she came forward .

embraced Stacy. "I'm so glad you came. Come inside. I've.

splendid tea laid out. Is Drew with you?"a

"He came to London with us, yes, but right now he's atl

Brentwood."

Andrea smiled. "Lucinda must be thrilled"

Stacy moved inside with her hostess and when she'd laid

off her things, she asked Lady Andrea how she'd known of her

presence.

"I was in need of some papers from Bracken," the older J

woman told her. "Brandon sent them by coach yesterday, and

when they arrived I found that Sunny had added a letter

telling of your visit."

"I'm so glad she did. I don't care for London all that much,

and it's nice to come here where I can forget the gossips and

even the dressmaker."

"Was it so bad?"

Stacy pulled a face. "I hadn't realized the necklines had

gone so low."

Andrea nodded understandingly. "I'm afraid they become

barer every year. Is that what Tanner wanted for you?"

Stacy sighed gently, still feeling very thankful. "No, he

didn't. I was quite nearly in tears in the dressing room, and he

didn't push me. I know Madame Angelica thought we were

mad, but at least my dresses will be modest."

"It's amazing isn't it? I mean, the little ways God takes care

of us?"

"Oh, my," Stacy agreed fervently, "I certainly found that

out this last year."

Andrea poured the tea then, and Stacy shared some of the

ways God had worked in her heart and at Winslow. Andrea's

eyes filled with tears as Stacy shared how thankful she was for

the little things, like being moved from the north wing. Then

she told of the great things, such as Tanner's wanting Drew to

know of his parentage.

Andrea's handkerchief was in her hand when she told

Stacy she would be praying that Tanner would continue to

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grow closer to her and Drew. They fell silent for a time, and

then Stacy spoke thoughtfully.

"I could have a better attitude about the fittings. Lucinda

adores shopping and fittings, and when I lived with her she

finally despaired of ever changing me."

"Sunny positively hates shopping, so do you know what

she does?"

"No,"

"She sends her measurements to Madame Angelica. She's

been doing it for years. When the wardrobe is completed, it's

all sent to Bracken. When the gowns arrive she needs an

occasional tuck here and there, but she has a marvelous maid

who can do that for her. She dresses in the latest with none of

the pains of fittings."

"What a marvelous idea! I might ask her about that when I

return. Of course I won't need anything for a time, but it's

certainly a handy idea."

The next two hours flew by as the two women shared

about everything under the sun. Stacy had a few questions

about the passage of Scripture she was studying in Romans 12.

Lady Andrea proved a great help. Stacy's own words to Roddy

came to mind as the coach moved toward Tanner's town

house.

God bos never let me down. When I truly need to know

something, He always shows me.

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mer is so difficult to live with, but I don't have to answer for

actions, only for my own response.

"I'm afraid to tell Tanner, Lord. Please be with me. Please

jve me boldness. Please use this to soften his heart, and if it

fdoesn't, give me the right words."

by the time tanner, stacy, hettie, and drew arrived back

at Winslow, Stacy was so tired she could hardly move. The ride

seemed to lengthen every time she made it. She let Hettie feed

Drew while she bathed, and as soon as she'd read to him and

tucked him in, she took herself off to bed. She slept dreamessly

all through the night but woke earlier than she would

have liked.

Stacy rolled to her stomach, determined to go back to

sleep, but a sudden tenderness in her breasts caused her to

open her eyes. She lay for some time thinking on the fact that

this tenderness wasn't so sudden; she just hadn't given it any

heed. It had been this way with Drew also. Long after Stacy

should have given attention to the other signs, she would not

let her heart face the evidence before her. Stacy sat up slowly.

She and Tanner had only shared one night. Was it possible?

"Of course it's possible."

Stacy reached for her Bible. She read about Sarah, Abraham's

wife, and how she had a child when she was 90. Sarah

wasn't perfect, but she had faith in God. Stacy turned to

Hebrews 11:11 and read that Sarah found God faithful to the

promise He made to give her a child.

"You've given me no such promise, Lord, but You have said

that You will never leave me or forsake me. If there is to be

another child, help me to see Your sovereignty in its conception.

Stacy waited three more days before approaching Tanner,

carefully monitoring the condition of her body. He was in his

study as usual, and Stacy could see that he was not happy to be

disturbed. She'd prayed long and hard about this conversation,

however, so she stepped forward with more boldness

than she ever had before to take a chair in front of his desk.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Tanner, but I need to speak with

you."

Tanner placed his papers back on the desk and sat back in

his chair; his face a study in indifference. Stacy cleared her

throat.

"I'm pregnant, Tanner. I must be some weeks along, but I

just now realized it."

Nothing. She was met with absolute silence; his face never

changed expression.

"Tanner, did you hear me?"

"Yes, I heard you."

Stacy sat nonplussed.

"Are you worried the child isn't yours?" she asked, desperately

trying to gauge his true feelings.

"Is it mine?" Tanner's voice was still unresponsive.

"Yes."

The duke shrugged, and Stacy realized she had been prepared

for anything but his indifference. She stood slowly,

thinking that if she stayed in the room she might break down,

but something stopped her from exiting. At the door, Stacy

turned and faced her husband again. He had not gone back to

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his papers, so Stacy was able to speak with her eyes holding

his,

"When you came for me atlucinda and Roddy's, I came

back to you because I was afraid to say no, but there was more,

Tanner. I also came because I believed it might be God's way

of repairing my marriage.

"I've never stopped loving you. When you wanted me

back, even before you knew that Drew was yours, I took that as

a good sign. But it hasn't been good. You despise me, and the

staff takes their cue from you. I would love to stay right now

and work on our marriage, but I must think of our unborn

baby. Drew and I will be leaving for Lucinda and Roddy's as

soon as we're packed" Stacy paused, seemingly out of energy,

but an unprecedented boldness came over her.

"I never really stood a chance, did I, Tanner? Leslie saw to

that. Well, I'm not Leslie. I'm Stacy The letter is still in my

dressing room, Tanner. You're welcome to go and get it. This

time I hope you read the whole thing."

Tanner never moved from his chair as the door closed. He

knew Stacy would actually leave, and because he thought the

distance might do them some good, he did not try to stop her.

He was surprised, however, when she left without seeking

him out again. Two hours later the carriage pulled away, and

she hadn't even brought Drew in to say goodbye.

You just want her because she's not here. All this time she

was right beneath your roof, and you ignored her. Now that

she's gone you want to talk to her. The feeling will pass.

Tanner knew he was lying to himself. He had said all of

this to himself and more, but Stacy had only been gone one

week and he had never known such loneliness. Tanner had

held himself in check most of the time Stacy had been there,

watching her from down the hall or from a window when she

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wasn't aware. To let her know that he thought of her and Drew

constantly would not do. If he became vulnerable to her, she

would only hurt him again. Or would she? Tanner was beginning

to doubt his own sanity.

Almost of their own volition, Tanner's feet moved toward

Stacy's bedroom. Her dressing room was nearly empty, but

just as she'd said, the letter was there. Tanner started at the

beginning again.

Dear Tanner,

I'm not sure if you knew I was back in London,

but I arrived just this week. I am staying at Brentood

with Roddy and Lucinda. I would like to see

you. I know I told you I would not return unless you

sent for me, but my grandfather has died and I've

come at Lucinda's bidding.

I would like to see you, Tanner. I would like to

talk about the Cradwell party and explain about

Nigel Stanley. I made a terrible mistake, and if we

could only talk, I feel we might resolve this painful

thing between us.

There has never been anyone but you, Tanner. I

was very naive concerning Lord Stanley, and I didn't

understand his intentions quickly enough to allow

me to escape him, so when you came in, it looked as

though we'd met. I don't know what possessed him

to tell you we loved each other because I'd never

seen him before the party, and, aside from that, I

was already in love with you. Please send for me,

Tanner, and give me a chance to explain.

Always yours,

Stacy

He balled the letter in his hand, but not out of anger. For

weeks now he'd kept Stacy at arm's length, never letting her