White Wolf 2: The Call of a Soul (18 page)

Their gazes met in the mirror’s reflection; Melanie nodded. It wouldn’t help even trying to lie. Susie always said she was the worst liar in the universe.

“’Bout time you did
something
normal. How’re you going to tell Mama?”

Melanie pressed Susie’s hand. “Mama’s never going to hear anything. I let things get out of hand today, but trust me, nothing’s going to happen again.”

Susie stared at her. “Isn’t it about time you stopped being the self-appointed family martyr?”

“What the hell do you mean?” Melanie rounded on Susie.

“It isn’t easy for Gray and me, you know. You won’t let us do anything to help you.”

“You need all your energies focused on community college and getting that scholarship to Florida State. Just because I want to make sure that you and Gray have all the opportunities I never had doesn’t make me a martyr.”

“When was the last time you did anything but go to work and come home? I’d bet anything that’s your first hickey. Do you even realize how ab—how so not normal you are?” Susie’s nostrils flared. “You’ve never been on a date, Melanie. I can’t remember you even going to a movie with a girlfriend once during the last five years.”

“And leave you alone with Mama? What if she came at you again? I couldn’t have that on my conscience.” Melanie fiddled with the toothbrush holder. “It’s way too dangerous.”

“I’m an adult, Melanie, and I’m almost twice Mama’s height. I can handle her. It hurts, you know, that you don’t trust me.” Susie spun around and marched to their bedroom.

Melanie gritted her teeth and followed. “It’s not that I don’t trust you—”

“It is. Besides Mama’s been sober now for eighteen months, five days, and three hours. She’s worked at the casino for the last nine months, never missed a day, never took a wrong step. How do you think she feels? You watch her like a hawk. The first thing you do when you come home is try to smell her breath to see if she’s had a drink.”

Had she been that obvious? “You were too young to know what it was like. How she’d pretend to be sober and then I’d leave to go to the store and come back to find her passed out with all the burners on the stove on. It petrified me to have to be away for even a minute.”

“I was a child then. I’m not anymore. By not trusting me with Mama, you undermine me, can’t you see?”

Melanie slumped onto the mattress. She peeled the towel from her head. “What do you want from me, Susie?”

“I want you to trust me. I want you to respect that I’m an adult. If this scholarship comes through, next year I’ll be heading off to Florida. If you trust me to be okay hundreds of miles away, why can’t you trust me to be alone regularly with Mama?”

Her eyes misted, and she bit her lip. “Mama can be mean when she’s drunk. I don’t want you to think of her like that.”

“See. That’s the martyr part. You have to be the only one to take Mama’s drunken rage? You think Gray and I haven’t heard all she’s had to say? The walls in this house are paper-thin. We’ve heard every ugly word.”

Melanie sniffed and swiped at the stupid tears rolling down her cheeks. “I wish you hadn’t. I tried so hard.”

Susie dropped to her knees and captured Melanie’s hands. “I know. We both know how hard you tried. It’s not good the way things are now. Gray and I tiptoe around you. Mama’s so ashamed she can’t look any of us in the eye. Don’t get mad, but I’ve been seeing a counselor at the college.”

A counselor? Please God, don’t let Susie have been scarred permanently by all that had happened.

“Don’t look like that. It’s not what you’re thinking. The counselor won’t blab. She says we all need to start sharing responsibilities. Mama too. She says Mama needs to feel useful. And that you should give her control of the money she earns.”

Shaking her head, Melanie spat, “And have her spend the entire paycheck on booze and end up in Pincer’s jailhouse? Not on your life.”

“Damn it. That’s just what I’m talking about.” Susie lurched to her feet. “How do you think Mama feels? Her daughter runs her life. She can’t even buy a stick of gum if she wants. Tell me, Melanie, do you plan to live alone with Mama for the rest of your life? Because I don’t. I’m not staying in Chabegawn for a second longer than I have to. And I can guarantee you Gray feels the same way. You need to make a choice. Set Mama free and get a life, or end up being resented by each and every one of us.”

Susie stomped out of the room.

Her words echoed in Melanie’s head. She sat there in the dark for a long, long time. Didn’t stir when she heard Mama’s voice, didn’t move when the front door banged open, and didn’t bother to acknowledge Gray’s boomed greeting. Every bone ached, and her hair pulled painfully on the roots.

Had she done Gray and Susie a disservice? And Mama? Melanie curled into a ball on the bed. A headache blossomed, and her temples throbbed. She was so damned tired. It had felt so wonderful when Mike had taken the lead, when he’d said, “
your responsibilities are mine
,” when he’d tied her to the bed and just made her feel. It had been so long since she’d actually felt anything but the weight of worry: the burden of never knowing when Mama would be sober; the question mark each month waiting for Shuman to kick them off the reservation.

And now all these murders. All the stupid reporters and their microphones. Somehow she, Susie, and Gray had to find a way to keep Mama on the reservation until things quieted down. Had Susie heard about Old Man Balden? Had
Mama
heard about it?

Light streaked across her face when the door opened. Gray. His wide shoulders reflected in a squat shadow on the planked floor. He had showered at the gym, the smell of the disinfectant soap used in the showers too strong to miss.

“Dinner’s ready, sis.”

She fiddled with the towel. “Not hungry. You guys go ahead.”

“I made chicken potpie,” Mama murmured.

The towel fell from her hand. Melanie swung onto her forearms to face Gray and Mama standing in the doorway. Chicken potpie?

“It used to be your favorite.”

Susie appeared behind Mama. She and Gray had inherited Papa’s height, all right. “Been a long time since we all sat down at the table.”

It had been years. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“I’ll come get you if you’re not out in five.” Gray shot her a grin.

Melanie dressed and then went out to join everyone. Hot tears burned her eyes, and her throat went scratchy at the sight of the table. It looked like the old days, the days when Papa and Gramps were alive. The best dishes sparkled and gleamed on the table. The crystal that had been part of their parents’ wedding gifts sparkled like spun sugar, and the barely used good cutlery had been spit polished to perfection.

A small squat vase filled with wildflowers, daisies, bluebells, the odd lilac, and strands of variegated ivy filled the middle of the table. The sight of that vase choked Melanie to the brim. Long, long ago, she had been the one to help Mama set the table for dinner. It had been her job to collect the flowers from their gardens, and then she and Mama would arrange the blossoms together. And every day the first thing Papa would say when he walked into the house was, “
Which of my beauties made such a masterpiece
?”

Melanie skipped a finger over a trailing strand of emerald ivy. “The flowers are beautiful, Mama.”

“But missing your special touch. You always did add in the last one, the special one.” Mama’s voice wavered at the end, and Melanie knew she was thinking about Papa and Gramps.

“That Chrysanthemum bush out back is blooming. Why don’t we find a couple of flowers and finish the table?” Melanie opened the drawer where they kept the shears. She did something she hadn’t done in years, hugged her mother and walked with her to the back door. They discussed which flower to cut at length even though the wind didn’t cooperate, swooshing moisture and the promise of winter in icy waves over their uncoated flesh.

Mama had apples in her cheeks and a twinkle in her blue eyes when everyone finally sat down to eat the pedestrian but delicious meal of chicken potpie.

“I have some news.”

It had been so long since Mama had voiced a thought that Melanie set her fork down.

“Geraldine’s stepping down, and she’s recommended me to take her place.”

Melanie couldn’t stifle a gasp. Geraldine, the casino’s special event manager, made a hefty salary.

“The council voted on it today. I got the promotion.” Mama didn’t look at them but kept her head down and popped a tiny morsel of chicken and pastry into her mouth. “Shuman has to give final approval, of course, but I spoke with Freddy Pawath, and he assured me that it would go through.”

If hearts could burst with pride, Melanie’s would’ve right there and then. Freddy Pawath had been a classmate of her father’s, and since he’d been appointed the tribe’s senior legal counsel, things had improved all around, even for the White family. If Freddy’d given his word, then chances were the promotion would go through.

“That’s great, Mama.” Susie reached for the shaker with the red pepper flakes. “I’d heard that Geraldine was moving away. Does that mean you’ll be running the holiday specials like Thanksgiving, Easter, Fourth of July, that sort of stuff?”

“Yes. I’ve been helping Geraldine with the special events for the last five months.” Mama poked her fork around fat chunks of carrot and celery. “She’s moving to Oregon. Wants to be nearer to her grandbabies.”

“It seems like good news all around. Susie, you tell Melanie about your scholarship?” Gray winked at Melanie.

“No. I was waiting for the right time.” Susie scowled at Gray. “Thanks for forcing the issue.” She rolled her eyes. “I won a Gates Foundation scholarship. To Florida State University. Everything paid for. Even the travel home two times a year.”

“And I made a decision after talking to my coaches. If I don’t get picked up by an NFL team before the end of the season, I’m quitting.”

“Are you sure?” Susie didn’t even raise a brow.

“Yep. It’s time to get on with my life. Heck, I majored in Finance and Marketing and I’m fairly well known. I should be able to land a decent corporate job and all the managers have said they’ll talk to their contacts for me.” Gray sidled a glance to Mama. “Before I didn’t feel comfortable leaving you or Susie or Melanie, but things are back on track now, and I need to establish a pack.”

“Gray—”

Gray waved his fork in the air. “No. Melanie, don’t interrupt. I am fricking twenty-five years old. You’re doing well, Mama’s new position comes with a tripling of her salary, and I don’t have to worry about financing Susie’s university years. It’s time for all of us to reach for our dreams. You can finally apply to vet school. It’s time for you to live life to the fullest.”

She should be thrilled, ecstatic, but all Melanie felt was a vague empty distress. No one needed her anymore. Not Mama, not Susie, and definitely not Gray. “When are you going to quit the team?”

“I’ll play out the rest of the season and start looking for a job that will become a career. I wouldn’t want to leave the team in a quandary.” Gray stood, plate in hand. “Anyone else want seconds? This is great, Mama. Melanie’s pastry is never flaky and buttery like yours.”

“That’s just not fair, Gray. Melanie barely has time to get in all her chores with two jobs and that extra shift she takes from now until Christmas. Which won’t be necessary this year. My new salary is in effect in the next paycheck, once Shuman signs off on everything. This check isn’t as large.” Mama pulled a familiar brown envelope from her skirt pocket and scooted it over to Melanie.

For a long time, she stared at the accusing rectangle, Susie’s words echoing in her confused brain. Mama couldn’t even buy a stick of gum without Melanie knowing.

Mama fiddled with the lone lilac in the vase. “You’ve kept us going as a family, Melanie, and taken the burden for everyone. I am what I am, a recovering alcoholic. But recovering is the operative word. It’s time for me to take back those responsibilities you should never have had to assume. Maybe after we finish eating, you can run me through the bills, debts, and all the other financial situations.”

“Of course, Mama. The credit union’s open on Saturdays. Let’s go there tomorrow so you can set up your own account. If it’s okay with the rest of you, I’ll also open a new joint account for the household, that way everyone can contribute, but we’ll each have money for ourselves. Of course when you both leave, we’ll change that all up.”

Susie grinned so broadly Melanie figured her cheeks would split. “Great idea, sis.”

Melanie stayed mostly quiet the rest of the meal, loving the almost normal banter, the teasing between Susie and Gray and Mama. She prayed this was the beginning of the rest of their lives.

“Dishwasher’s fixed.” Gray held out a hand for Susie’s plate. “I’ll stack. You can put away when they’re done.”

“Since when? And how? Didn’t the repairman say we needed a whole engine spin part thing?” Melanie tried to remember the man’s exact wording and automatically handed Gray her plate as she stood.

“A pump and motor. Got a good price on a refurbished one, and I installed it two days ago. And don’t even go there, Melanie.”

“You’ve been working,” Melanie accused.

Gray shrugged. “I helped Eddie with a couple of jobs, and he got me the part on the cheap.”

“Eddie? Eddie Mato? Tell me you haven’t been hanging around with Eddie.” Melanie had to force her knees to locked positions.

“You, of all people, know it’ll be at least six months before we finish paying off the gambling debts Papa ran up while he was drinking. Every cent I earn in the league goes to that and our basic needs. Eddie had work and needed help to get it done. The extra that I earned allowed me to buy the part and fix the dishwasher. What’s wrong with that?” Gray, busy collecting knives and forks from the table, fixed Susie with a fierce glare, and something in their exchanged glances had ghost fingers crawling up Melanie’s spine.

“What’ve you two been up to? Somebody killed Eddie Mato two nights ago. When was the last time you saw him?”

“You’re not seriously thinking Gray might have any minuscule connection to such violence, are you, Melanie?” Mama planted her hands at her waist.