White Water (13 page)

“The elders in the pack guard the pups fiercely.” Anne continued looking directly at Kara. “They have seen the young carried off by Eagle, or drowned in the raging river. When the pups are mature and have learned their lessons well, they take their place within the order of the pack and join the hunt. A lone wolf cannot survive without the pack. If even one member dies, the balance is disturbed, and the pack must struggle to find a new order.”

Anne stopped talking and sat quietly, obviously waiting for a response.

“I get it,” Tia chimed in before Kara could say anything. “The wolf pack is like a family, and kids need to learn from their elders, but I don't understand what that has to do with our rafting trip.”

“Or Dad's attitude about me and Colin,” Kara shook her head. “I'm almost sixteen, Anne. Dad's always said I was mature for my age. Why can't he trust me now?”

Anne reached over and covered Kara's hand with her own. “Your mother's death has disturbed the balance in your family, Wakara. Your father still struggles to find the order of things. Be patient. Use the wisdom God gave you, and all will be well.”

Kara nodded, but she wasn't convinced. What if Dad's struggles went on for a long, long time?
I could be locked in the den until I'm twenty-one!
The silly thought should have made her smile. Instead, she felt a deep sadness. How could she help Dad understand?
Use the wisdom God gave you
, Anne had said, but right now Kara wasn't feeling very wise. Just tired.

Tia yawned hugely and pushed away from the table. “I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed.”

Kara stood too. “Thanks, Anne. I guess we'd all better get some sleep. I'll talk to Dad in the morning.”

I
N SPITE OF HOW EXHAUSTED
she'd been the night before, Kara awoke before dawn, her mind spinning with ways to approach Dad. Her stomach fluttered uneasily, like it had when she'd watched the video about the Colorado River
.
It's like trying to navigate class-five rapids,
she thought
,
knowing you have to get through it, but scared you're going to drown
.

She crawled to the end of her bed, careful not to bump into Tia's cot. She pulled on her sweats, then slipped into her fur-lined moccasins. She needed to be alone, and with that bear gone, it would be safe to follow the path to the river. Maybe God would somehow show her what to do.

She slipped out the door, down the hall, and into the recreation room without a sound. At the front door she paused to grab her jacket off the hook, when she heard a cough. Someone was outside on the deck. She cupped her hands around her face and pressed against the window.
Dad!

He was sitting on the swing at the far end of the deck, staring off into the eastern sky. Kara's heart thumped hard.
Now what?
She could pretend she hadn't seen him and sneak out the back door, but something told her that wouldn't be right.

“Well, God,” she whispered, “I guess it's now or never. I could sure use some of that wisdom Anne talked about.” She took a deep breath, opened the door, and stepped outside
.

“Wakara?” Dad smiled and patted the space next to him on the padded swing. “You're up early. Are you feeling sick?”

Kara shook her head. “No, just couldn't sleep.” She shivered. It had rained in the night, and there was still a nip of winter in the damp morning air. “How's Greg?”

“He's pretty sick; he'll need to stay in bed, at least for today.” He patted the seat again. When she joined Dad on the swing, he slid an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She closed her eyes and relaxed against his shoulder. They hadn't sat like this since she was a little girl. It felt warm and, well, nice. Comforting.

“Your mother and I used to come out here every morning to watch the sun rise over the mountains. It was the best hour of the day for both of us.” There was a hint of sadness in Dad's voice, but Kara realized the heavy-hearted sound of grief was gone. Still, she didn't know what to say, so she sat with him and watched as the sky to the east took on a pale pink glow
.

Dad shifted and kissed the top of her head. “I owe you an apology, Sugar Bear,” he said quietly. “Anne was right. I've been trying to find a new order for our family, and in the process some things have been thrown out of balance. I can't be a mother wolf.” He chuckled. “I can't think like that; I don't even know how to try.”

Kara sat up straight. “You heard us last night?”

He nodded and went on. “The boys don't even notice, of course, but for a girl there are some things only a mother can handle. I've been an overprotective father, and that hasn't been fair to you.”

Kara didn't know what to say. She'd been worried about confronting Dad for being unfair. Now he was apologizing, and she hadn't said a thing.

“So, tell me, Wakara, this, uh,” he hesitated, “relationship between you and Colin. How would your mother handle it?”

Kara took a deep breath. “Well,” she said slowly, “for one thing, Mom would come to me and find out what the relationship was. She'd want to know how I really feel about Colin.”

Dad didn't move a muscle, and Kara could tell he was listening intently. “And what would you tell her?” he asked carefully, almost as if he were holding his breath.

“I don't know, Dad. I like him a lot. He's cute and funny, and I usually have a good time when we do things together. But he makes me crazy with that phony cowboy stuff, and I hate it when he bosses me around.”
And I feel nervous and excited when I know we're going to be together
. That was something she would have told Mom, but no way could she say it to Dad. He was still listening, so she decided to talk about something he might understand. “What really makes me crazy is one minute he acts like he wants to be more than friends, and the next minute he treats me like I don't exist. I never know how he really feels about me!”

Dad sighed and gave her shoulders a squeeze before withdrawing his arm and turning to face her. “That's my fault too, I'm afraid. I can see exactly how he feels about you, and I told him to back off.”

Kara felt her muscles tighten. She knew he'd said something like that to Colin, but it didn't make it any easier to hear him admit it.

Her anger must have been obvious, because Dad held up his hand. “Give me a minute, please. It's important that you understand.” He looked away, ran one hand through his hair, then faced her again. “I like Colin, Wakara, and
it would be fine with me if the two of you got together someday, but not yet. I know you don't want to hear this, but you are just too young for that kind of a relationship. And it has nothing to do with trust—you're both good kids, and I know you wouldn't intentionally do anything wrong. It's just better that you maintain a friendship for now, nothing more, okay?”

Better to bow to wisdom and not look temptation in the eye
. Those were Anne's words, and they meant the same thing. Kara just nodded. She wanted to know how she and Colin could ever be friends if Dad had told him to stay away from her, but he didn't give her a chance to ask.

“Having said all that,” he grinned, “would you still like to go rafting?” She didn't try to hide her surprise, but she still felt like someone had zipped her mouth shut. She managed another nod. “Good. Greg is too sick to be left alone, and I have too many loose ends to tie up. That means Anne's fishing trip with Ryan is off. Why don't you and Tia and Colin make it a day trip and take Ryan along?” She groaned, and his voice softened to an almost pleading tone. “Come on, Sugar Bear. He's had a rough week too. The attack on Lyman really upset him, and now he doesn't get to go fishing either.”

Kara knew he was right. “What about Colin? It's his raft.”

Dad stood, causing the swing to rock. “I already talked to Colin, and he said it was fine with him.”

Kara looked up. Over Dad's shoulder, the eastern sky glimmered with streaks of orange and gold. She sighed.
It's just
now
s
unrise, and I already feel like I've climbed Mount Everest!
And
, she thought,
I still have to tell Tia that Ryan is coming along
.

Tia looked sympathetic when Kara told her what Dad had said, but when Kara explained that Ryan had to come along or the trip was off, Tia just shrugged. “Whatever. I guess that's better than not going at all.”

Mark arrived in time for breakfast, as usual. “Hey,” he said when Colin teased him about it, “a bachelor has to grab a home-cooked meal whenever he can.” He winked at Anne. “And this gal's cooking is far better than any four-star restaurant. Maybe I'll just steal her away from you—then you'll appreciate what you've got.”

“No need to convince me,” Colin said as he reached for the bacon platter. “I know when I'm well off.” He grinned at Anne, who blushed and set the basket of blueberry muffins between him and Mark.

Colin turned to Ryan. “Well, Partner, since your fishing buddy is playing nursemaid to Greg, how would you like to help me and these lovely ladies break in my new raft? We've got some scoutin' to do if we're gonna run the Minam River this summer.”

Kara wondered how he could sound so cheerful. She knew how much he had been looking forward to running the rapids. The Minam didn't offer much of that.

“Yippee!” Ryan shouted, “I get to go on the raft!” He jumped up from the table. “I'll go get my stuff!” He was out of the room before anyone could call him back.

Mark swallowed a bite of scrambled egg and gestured out the window. “If you're thinking about this part of the river, you'd better think again. After that fire, the spring runoff is carrying a ton of debris. I've flown over it twice this week as far up as the abandoned mill. It'll be months before it cleans itself out. You want a good run, you'll need to go all the way above Finn Rock. It's an easy run back down to the mill. Shouldn't take you more than a day and a half.” He took a swallow of orange juice. “Tell you what,” he said cheerfully, “after I help Harley with that door, I'll fly you up there. He can come and get you tomorrow afternoon.”

The room grew silent. Everyone was looking at Dad. What were the chances he'd agree to that plan?
A big, fat zero!
Kara thought and felt a surge of disappointment. There would be no rafting trip after all.

Mark looked puzzled. “Sorry, Harley, didn't mean to interfere,” he said lamely as he reached for his coffee cup.

Tia cleared her throat, and Kara nudged her to be quiet. Her friend sighed and turned her best pleading-puppy face on Dad. Kara almost laughed. That might work with Mr. Sanchez, but no way would it ever work with Dad.

Dad laid his fork down. He had that deer-in-the-headlights look, and Kara was afraid he might bolt and follow Ryan out of the room. Instead, he threw up his hands and looked at the ceiling. “I may be Alpha Wolf, but I'm not a monster.” He glared at Anne. She smiled serenely back at him. Tia put a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle, and Kara elbowed her again.

“Alpha Wolf?” Poor Mark looked so confused. Kara made the mistake of looking at Tia, and they both burst out laughing
.

Dad shook his head. “It's too involved to explain. Let's just say I'll go along with that plan on one condition.” Kara held her breath as Dad's gaze settled on Colin, then on her and Tia. “You guys are responsible for Ryan. You stay close to the river at all times, and don't let him out of your sight.”

I
T WAS AFTER TEN O'CLOCK
before they were flying over the abandoned mill, about five miles upriver from Eagle Lodge. Mark flew low along the river so they could check out the course. “Looks like it's running a little high,” Kara shouted
.