White Trash Damaged (5 page)

T
HE AFTER-PARTY WAS
in full effect. The back hallway maze was filled with fans. The room that held the snack table was now just a sea of bodies. Alcohol was flowing from every direction, and I gripped Tucker’s hand to keep from getting lost in the crowd.

“Stay with Lizzy. I’m going to get us a drink.” Tucker spoke loudly into my ear as the guitarist from Filth began strumming a tune. I nodded and smiled over at Lizzy who was making out with Terry and had no idea that I was anywhere near her. I sighed and let go of his hand, the sea of people swallowing him up the moment he took a step away from me. I spotted Eric sitting on the back of a sofa, sipping a bottle of beer. I smiled as his eyes met mine, happy to see a familiar face. I made my way closer to him, wondering why he looked so pissed off.

He nodded his head as I approached, taking another drink.

“Hey,” I said lamely as I turned to look over the crowd.

“Hey. Where’s Tucker?”

I glanced around but couldn’t spot him.

“He went to get us some drinks.” I tucked my hair behind my ear as I stood on my toes to see better.

“Hmm . . .”

“What?” I turned. He shook his head and pointed with the neck of his bottle to a table set up along the far wall, lined with drinks of every variety. Tucker was nowhere in sight. I pulled my eyebrows together as I searched again, wondering where he’d gone, feeling an inexplicable sense of jealousy knot in the pit of my stomach.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around my body, pulling me back into him. The smell of coconut mixed with beer filled the air around me. He held a bottle out in front of my face as he kissed my neck.

“Have you been smoking?” he asked as he turned me around to face him.

“Where were you?” I asked.

“Bathroom down the hall,” he replied. I glanced back at the spot on the couch where Eric had been sitting, but it was now empty.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head, feeling like an idiot. His free hand slid onto my hip bone and pulled my body back against
his. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. His fingers scrunched the fabric of my dress as his hips slowly began to move with the music from the guitar, grinding into my backside. His breath blew across my neck as his lips hovered dangerously close to my skin. I knew I wasn’t ready to take things further with Tucker, but my mind and my body had two very different ways of thinking. I pushed back against him and he hissed between his teeth.

“God, I missed you.” His lips finally kissed their way up my neck toward my ear. I swallowed hard, not wanting to push him away. My mind was spinning as his fingers splayed over my stomach, and my body tensed involuntarily as I thought of the baby we’d lost. His lips pulled back from me and his forehead rested against the side of my head as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“I’m sorry.” He tightened his grip around my waist and hugged me from behind.

“Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I tried to reassure him.

“Get a room.” Chris laughed and both of our heads shot up to see him smiling at us.

“Hey, man,” Tucker said as he released me and came to stand beside me.

I took a long drink from my beer and tried to calm my emotions.

“Where’s Terry?” Tucker asked.

Chris glanced around the room before spotting Lizzy and Terry making out like high schoolers in the corner.

“He’s professing his love to his groupie.” Chris rolled his eyes and laughed, but he didn’t seem very happy.

“She seems nice.” I always had to put my two cents in.

“She would fuck him over in a second. I guarantee it.” He pushed his dark hair back from his face.

“Maybe you’re jealous,” Tucker jabbed. Chris exaggerated his shocked expression.

“Of that? Hell no, man. I am not the marrying kind.” He winked at me and grinned from ear to ear as he took a drink. “Why pick one when I can have a different one every night?” He gestured to the sea of women around him. I made a gagging sound and rolled my eyes, causing Chris to laugh even harder.

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right one,” I added, glancing at Tucker and feeling my cheeks blush.

“I am having too much fun with all the wrong ones.” He glanced back over his shoulder at his brother before sighing. “I miss my brother, though. I haven’t had a moment alone with him since Lizzy showed up.” Tucker patted Chris on the shoulder.

“Let’s get you another drink.” Tucker linked his fingers with mine, and we made our way over to the table that was loaded with alcohol. The guys poured some shots and clinked their glasses together before downing the harsh liquid.
I declined on the hard stuff but opted for another beer, feeling myself finally begin to relax.

It wasn’t long before the other band members migrated to us. The guys laughed and drank, stopping to chat with an eager fan. Lizzy joined in and had to lean on Terry to even stay upright. Tucker kept a hand on me, as if he was afraid that I would vanish. I couldn’t blame him, but he didn’t need to worry. I didn’t want to be anywhere but by his side.

A girl flung herself at Chris, clinging to his side like a baby monkey. He smiled down at her, brushing her hair off her forehead in an almost sweet gesture.

“Not a chance.” He peeled her arms from his waist and turned back to the group to continue drinking.

“You are a pig!” I threw a piece of cut-up cheese at him.

“Groupies don’t have feelings.” He shot a glare over to Lizzy who sank deeper into Terry’s side.

“Don’t be a dick.” Terry’s tone was even and calm, but he was serious.

“It’s true.” Chris shrugged, grabbing a few pieces of cheese off the table and popping them into his mouth. “I can prove it.”

All eyes were on Chris as we waited for his brilliant revelation. He continued to eat and poured himself another shot, his eyes glancing up to see us all waiting patiently.

“Not now.” He smiled and everyone groaned. “Who wants another shot?” He yelled and all the guys held out their glasses. I watched as Lizzy pulled back from Terry and
whispered something in his ear. He nodded and gave her a quick kiss before she headed out through the crowd. I wanted to go after her and make sure she was okay, but it wasn’t my place. Besides, I wasn’t sure it was possible to break Tucker’s death grip on me.

“Hello?” I glanced away from Lizzie’s back to see Chris holding out a shot glass overflowing with amber liquid.

“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile and took the glass from his hand, smelling it before tipping back my head and letting the alcohol scorch my throat. I slammed the cup on the table and sputtered out a cough, wishing I had something to chase it with.

“Lightweight,” E muttered under his breath and held out a bottle of soda for me to take.

“Thanks,” I said between swallows. He leaned in close enough that I could smell the mixture of soap and alcohol on him.

“If you want to hang with the band, you need to learn how to handle your liquor. Don’t end up like Lezzy.” He pointed off in the distance.

“Lizzy,” I corrected him. He shrugged and rolled his glazed-over eyes.

“Does it matter?”

What the hell was it with these guys? I could only imagine what they must say behind my back. I was grateful that they didn’t do it to my face like poor Lizzy. My heart ached for her.

“Thanks for the tip,” I replied.

“That’s what she said!” Terry was falling over himself with laughter, sloshing beer from his glass as he struggled to catch his breath.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my shot glass.

“Another?” I knew in the back of my mind that I didn’t need to prove myself to Eric or anyone else, but suddenly I just wanted to fit in, show everyone that I was more than just another groupie.

“Hell, yeah!” Chris poured us all another round. This time when I gulped it down, I kept my poker face on and tried my damnedest not to cry out at the burning pain in my throat.

“Better.” Eric gave me an approving look, and Tucker squeezed me closer to his side.

“You okay?” he whispered quietly in my ear, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I wondered if my body would ever stop reacting to Tucker that way. I nodded and sat down my glass, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.

“I gotta hit the head. Someone set up the next round,” Chris called behind him as he made his way through the crowd toward the bathroom.

I took over filling the glasses, slopping booze everywhere. I heard a few guys behind us greeting the band and turned, finding myself face-to-face with Filth. The five-member band was dressed head to toe in black, their eyes coated in eyeliner. I
never would have thought makeup looked good on a man, but it suited them. In the center of the group stood a stunning brunette.

The men shook hands, pulling in to bump shoulders.

“Cass, this is Filth. That’s Sarah. . . .” I recognized her as the lead singer, and she inclined her head toward me, her dyed dark hair falling in her face. “That’s Poppa, Diggy, Derek, and Matt.” He pointed to the other members.

“Nice to meet you. You want a drink?”

“Fuck, yeah!” Derek held out his plastic Solo cup, and the other members followed suit. I filled everyone’s glasses, finishing off the bottle of bourbon we had been using. Sarah didn’t say a word, but I could feel her eyes on me, judging me. I couldn’t help but cower a bit under her gaze as I recalled her powerful presence onstage, the way she commanded the attention of everyone in that stadium with her raw, magnetic confidence. She was intimidating to say the least.

“Cheers,” Derek yelled over the noise of the crowd, pushing his chin-length jet-black hair from his face. We all lifted our glasses before drinking them down. This time it went more smoothly, and my body didn’t try to reject the harsh drink. Probably not a good sign.

“Where’s Chris?” Diggy asked as he handed me his cup for a refill. We all looked at one another for a moment before Terry’s eyes widened and he took off, pushing his way through the crowd.

“Oh, shit!” Tucker was on his heels, pulling me behind him.

“What’s going on?” I asked as Eric pushed past us, yanking his shirt over his head and trying to catch up to Terry.

“Nothing good.” Tucker sighed as we made our way down the narrow hallways. Eric’s broad shoulders grew smaller as he began to jog away from us, yelling out to Terry who wasn’t responding.

We made our way outside in time to see Terry making his way up the steps of the bus.

“Wait outside,” Tucker warned and released my hand as he jogged after the others. I could hear Lizzy scream and then one of the twins was shoved out of the doorway, followed by the other. I put my hands over my mouth as I walked closer. Terry was screaming, nose to nose with Chris who was only wearing a pair of jeans, slung low on his hips like the zipper was undone. The rest of the band tried to work their way between them. As I reached the group, Lizzy stepped into the doorway of the bus, wrapped in a blanket, her hair a wild curly mess as tears streamed down her face.

“You fucked my girl?” Terry sounded more hurt than shocked at his brother’s actions.

“She’s nobody’s girl.” His hand gestured to Lizzy. “She’s just a groupie!” he yelled, and I saw Lizzy flinch.

“I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know!” she cried out between drunken, heaving sobs. “I thought it was you!”

Terry cocked back and swung at his brother, his fist connecting with Chris’s temple and sending his body spinning backward until he met the pavement. The other members scrambled to pull Terry back before he could punch his brother again.

Lizzy raced to his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Chris rubbed the side of his head, groaning in pain.

“She knew, man. She knew it was me. She isn’t any good for you,” Chris said angrily, causing Terry to lurch forward again like he was going to finish what he started.

“Don’t you fucking talk about her. Don’t fucking look at her.” Terry looked like a madman as Eric and Tucker struggled to hold him back. “How could you fucking do this?”

“She isn’t any good for you,” Chris repeated.

I felt helpless watching the band being ripped apart. I felt sorry for Terry. He genuinely cared for Lizzy, and I knew damn well she knew what she was doing . . . who she was doing. What if she went after the other guys? What if she tried to sleep with Tucker? I balled my hands into fists and stalked toward the twins, standing between them.

“He’s telling the truth.” I glanced over my shoulder at Chris on the ground. I had everyone’s complete attention now. I swallowed hard and steadied myself. The alcohol was hitting me full force. “She knows how to tell you guys apart.”

“That’s not true.” Lizzy laughed almost crazily as she shook her head.

“It is. She told me earlier about the freckle . . . the ring that Chris wears.” I looked Terry dead in the eye as Tucker and Eric took a step back.

His eyes flicked from me to Lizzy. He pulled her from his body, and she stood, clasping the blanket to her chest.

“You’re not gonna believe her are you, baby?” Lizzy’s voice took on a sickeningly sweet tone as she placed a hand on his chest. He looped his fingers around her wrist and pushed her hand away.

“Yeah, I am. Get your shit, and get the fuck out.” He turned to walk away, off into the darkness.

Tucker stepped forward, wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me on the top of the head. Chris pushed himself up off the ground and brushed his clothes off.

“Thanks, Cass,” he said as he walked off in the opposite direction of his brother.

“Now this is a fucking party!” Eric yelled drunkenly. That was probably the happiest I had seen him all night. I shook my head against Tucker’s chest. He laughed quietly.

“This is going to be an interesting tour.”

“Is it always like this?” I asked, gripping his T-shirt in my fingers.

“Sort of.” He laughed again, and I pulled back to look at his face. His stormy blue eyes.

“I should have kept my mouth shut.” I sighed, glancing over at Eric who was still shirtless and smiling. His eyes danced
between Tucker and me. “Are you guys gonna fuck or . . . do you want to go get another drink?”