White Trash Beautiful (6 page)

“I don’t want to know what they say.” I laughed and shook my head as our bodies moved together.

“I’d be happy to demonstrate.” He raised an eyebrow as I laughed.

“Now I know you were raised better than to talk to a lady like that.”

“Let’s have a shot,” Tucker said over the pulsing bass of the music. I smiled and nodded. He held up two fingers to the bartender and yelled, “Cuervo.” The bartender quickly poured two shots.

My eyes drifted over the crowd of carefree people letting go and having fun. I smiled as I turned back to Tucker, who was scribbling something down on a sliver of paper for a young brunette who had approached him. She looked as if it took all she had to keep from pouncing on top of him. He was giving out his phone number while he was out with me? I tried to hide the scowl from my face and the disappointment that settled in my belly like a rock.
Tucker’s not your boyfriend,
I admonished myself.
You already have one of those, a fact that you seem all too willing to forget tonight.
Tucker grabbed the shots from the bar and held one out for me. I paused, then relented. Why not let the fantasy continue, at least for a little while longer? I took it, my fingers lightly brushing against his. I smiled as I tilted my head back and drank it down in one gulp.

He smiled, taking the empty glass from my hand. “Another?”

“Why not?” I yelled over the music as a huge grin spread across his face.

“You tryin’ to outdrink me? Is this a challenge?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Drinking was in my blood. This was one game he couldn’t win. “You scared?”

“Hell no. I’m excited. Makes getting into your panties even easier.”

I smacked him on the arm with the back of my hand as hard as I could and turned to leave.

His hand shot out, catching me at the wrist. He pulled me back into his chest, causing my breath to catch in my throat. The look in his eyes was deadly serious. “I was kidding, Cass. I don’t want to take advantage of you. I want to have fun with you.”

“Let the fun begin.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” His hand found its place on the small of my back as we pushed through the crowd to the bar. His fingers slipped lower, and I reached behind me to raise them back into place, glaring at him in warning. He shot me a wink, not the least bit fazed by my attitude.

“Two more,” he called down to the bartender, who nodded in acknowledgment.

The bartender filled his other orders from the far end of the bar, then made his way to our end. I stared at the glass bottles on the wall behind him, watching the lights from the dance floor bounce off them, sending beams of colored light into the mirror behind them. I caught Tucker’s reflection, his eyes locked on me.

“Cuervo?” the bartender yelled over the noise, startling me from my trance.

“Two,” Tucker said, his eyes still not leaving me.

I looked down at the old wooden bar top in front of me, wishing. How did he make me feel so nervous and excited at the same time?

“You want a chaser?” The bartender filled our shot glasses, the liquid spilling over onto the bar.

“I’ve been chasing her all night.” Tucker laughed and I shook my head at the bartender. I grabbed our glasses and turned to hold one up for Tucker. His fingers wrapped around mine, and I was completely lost in the moment. That is, until the man behind me bumped into me, spilling my shot straight down my chest, into my cleavage.

Tucker grabbed a stack of napkins and began to blot the wetness, which caused me to turn ten shades of red before I pulled them from his hand and took care of it myself.

The man behind me was laughing with a friend and didn’t even think to apologize, not that I was surprised.

“Hey! You need to apologize for spilling my girl’s drink.”

“Just throw her an extra twenty. She won’t mind.”

“I mind, you asshole.”

My head was spinning with how quickly things went from amazing to shit. The bartender whistled through his fingers to get the attention of a bouncer near the door. He pointed to the man behind me, who groaned and slammed his glass on the bar.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I’m getting kicked out over that bitch?”

The bouncer reached our side in time to catch Tucker as he lurched at the man. Tucker’s fist connected with the side of the man’s face, sending him spinning backward into his friend.

“I said fucking apologize!”

I grabbed Tucker’s arm in an attempt to pull him away from the chaos. I didn’t want to spend the night in jail over some drunken prick.

“You’re out of here!” The bouncer grabbed the asshole’s arm and dragged him toward the door. “You’re next if you don’t calm the hell down!” The bouncer pointed at Tucker but was trying to hide a smile.

I didn’t find the situation quite as funny. I lived with violence every day of my life. I wanted to escape it. Not be thrown in the middle of more. “Don’t worry. I’m leaving.” I began to make my way to the door.

Tucker reached out and caught me by the waist. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll find my own way home.”

He sobered up immediately, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I was protecting you.”

“No, Tucker. You were being a macho prick. I don’t need someone to fight my battles. If I wanted to see someone get their ass kicked, I would have stayed home.”

He didn’t respond as my words sank in. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. “Fuck, Cass. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m so sorry.”

I let my arms rise up to his sides, holding on to the fabric of his shirt.

“I would
never
hurt you, Cass.”

I nodded into the crook of his neck. I wanted to be angry but I couldn’t. As much as my mind wanted to compare all men to Jax, there was no comparison.

“It won’t happen again.” He pulled me back so I could look into his eyes. I believed him. His gaze didn’t waver.

“I trust you.”

“Not yet. But you will.”

I smiled and glanced around us. No one was paying attention to our conversation, the skirmish long forgotten now that a leggy blonde had climbed up on the mechanical bull.

“Come on.” He grinned, grabbing my hand and pulling me back onto the floor.

My fingers slid up his muscular arms and looped behind his neck as we danced through several more songs. I wasn’t sure if I was dancing to the beat of the song or his heart. Normally I would have felt embarrassed, or at least out of place, but with his strong arms around me, I felt safe. His hands never left my body as we moved. His cheek was pressed against mine as his minty, liquor-laced breath blew across my neck. I let my eyes fall closed as he pulled back slowly, certain he was going to kiss me. Instead, his thumb traced my lower lip, tugging on it slightly before his palm slid up my cheek to cup it. I opened my eyes to Tucker’s hungry gaze.

“I want nothing more than to kiss you, Cass. But I need to know you trust me first. I don’t want you to ever think of me the way you think of that asshole you have back home. You deserve better, Cass, really.”

My eyes closed again and I nodded, wishing in this one moment he would just take what he wanted. His lips fell on my forehead and held there as the world moved around us. The club was packed and the Southern night air was muggy and hot. Our bodies were coated with a fresh layer of sweat as we ground together. Wanting radiated from every nerve ending in my body. Tucker’s forehead pushed against mine as his hands slowly traced my collarbone and trailed down my arms, pushing my sweater off with his fingers as his breathing grew more ragged. I slipped my hands under the bottom of his shirt and ran my fingers over his stomach. He groaned as I traced the edge of his boxers that stuck out above his jeans. Our eyes locked as he skimmed over my bruised arm without thinking, but the sudden twinge of pain snapped me back
to reality. I pulled the sweater back over my shoulders and took a small step back from him, embarrassed. We stood only a few inches from each other, but it felt like the width of an ocean as we both struggled to calm our breathing.

“I should get back. Everyone’s going to wonder where I am.” I pulled my sweater tightly around my body, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed my bruises. He looked disappointed but nodded and took my hand. He led me from the bar and we walked slowly to his bike. We didn’t speak as we made our way down the cobblestone street. His jaw flexed continuously and I could tell he was deep in thought. I knew he was angry with himself, but I wasn’t. I was mad at Jax for giving me the bruises in the first place.

I didn’t want this night to end, but I knew there would be hell to pay if anyone found out where I had been. The fantasy night had to come to an end. Tucker seemed to be on the same page. His pace slowed, prolonging the inevitable good-bye. His hand slipped around mine. I still didn’t understand why he would want to spend his time with me. He was handsome and had a job that paid him well enough to afford such luxuries as designer clothes and a motorcycle. It would be easy for him to find a woman to go to bed with without all the baggage—not to mention attitude—I had.

I wished I had asked him more about himself, but it didn’t really matter. He would be gone soon, off to another town, leaving me in his dust. It was better this way.

I
SLIPPED MY LEG
over the back of his bike as he revved the engine, and we took off into the night.

He drove slowly, taking in the sights of the town that never seemed to sleep. It was a far cry from Eddington, and I still couldn’t understand why he would ever set foot in my tiny town if he didn’t have to.

The big city faded into long stretches of empty highway. I hugged him tighter as we made our way into the outskirts of Eddington. We slowed to a snail’s pace as we crossed the dirt parking lot. The bike sounded like thunder in the quiet little trailer park.

He turned off the bike and his hands went to mine, holding me in place for a few more moments. I didn’t mind. I pressed my cheek against his back and closed my eyes, drinking in the scent of coconut and sweat from his body. I never wanted this to end. I hated myself for it. A few trailers away, my boyfriend was inside, probably wondering where I was. And likely fuming. But I kept my hands latched around Tucker.

I didn’t want to break the silence, as if it would somehow make him disappear. He had no idea how much it meant to me that he’d confided in me the secrets of his childhood. I knew how difficult it
was to reveal the uglier sides of life. It always changed people’s perceptions of you; they didn’t want to hear it, and who could blame them? Wouldn’t everyone prefer to live in blissful ignorance?

Eventually he spoke. “Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.” His fingers rubbed lightly over mine.

I didn’t know how to respond. I wanted to thank him. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d allowed myself to just let loose and not worry about anything—or anybody—for a night. “Thanks, I had a lot of fun. I don’t remember the last time . . .” I tried to tone down the smile on my face but I couldn’t. My cheeks hurt from the effort. I slipped my leg over the bike and pulled off my helmet. I ran my fingers through my hair, letting the sentence dangle.

Tucker slid off his bike and took off his helmet as well. He took mine from my hand and placed it on the bike, handing me my bag of work clothes. “I’m sorry about—”

“Don’t. Please don’t. Tonight was amazing. I don’t want to talk about what he did.”

Tucker nodded but didn’t look any less upset.

“Will you be coming by again?” I couldn’t help asking the question that had been on my mind since we’d left the dance floor. I didn’t want to sound desperate, but my voice came out high-pitched. I braced for him to tell me that he was leaving town. I didn’t expect him to stick around, and I knew it would only cause trouble if he did. Still, my heart sank as I waited for him to tell me the inevitable. I wanted to know more about him, and it seemed as if he genuinely wanted to know more about me, too. For some reason, I felt an unfamiliar urge to open the vault in which I’d stashed away years of painful memories and lay them bare before him.

He smiled and looked down at the ground, kicking the dirt with his boot. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Cass.” He ran his hand through my hair and gave me a half smile.

“Great.” I chewed on my lip and waved a small good-bye to him, trying to contain the happiness that suddenly washed over me as I took a few steps backward. He slipped his helmet back on and
started his bike. I watched the cloud of dust whirl around him as he took off out of the parking lot.

I walked quickly to my trailer, hoping no one had seen our good-bye. I ducked behind the trailer and pulled my slacks on under my dress. After a fast look around to make sure no one was watching, I pulled my sweater off and slipped the dress over my head, replacing it with my black work polo. I tucked the small locket under my shirt. I couldn’t stand to take it off. It would make this entire night seem like a figment of my imagination. I needed to have the reminder that Tucker was real, that he cared, if only for a few more minutes.

I listened for any sound coming from inside the trailer as I kicked off the new sandals and tied my sneakers on my feet. I didn’t hear anything.

I opened the front door, cringing as it squeaked loudly. I snuck inside with my bag of clothes behind my back.

Jax lay on the couch, his breathing deep and steady. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. I tiptoed back down the hallway and slid my new outfit to the back of my closet. I smiled as I buried it under a few boxes. A secret memory of the perfect night. I slipped the necklace off and wrapped it inside the dress.

I quickly undressed and took a fast shower, dancing and humming the song “Loved” to myself. The water was cold, but it didn’t dampen my mood in the least.

As I slipped into bed, I wondered if Tucker was thinking of me the way I was of him. Surely this night didn’t even register on the list of greatest nights of his life, but for me it was at the very top.

I dreamed of dancing in that club for hours, my fingers sliding up Tucker’s neck and his hands rubbing the length of my back. I pictured us with our foreheads pressed together—and suddenly pain shot through my head. In my dream, I shot Tucker an anguished look, confused, as our bodies were pulled apart.