White Tigress (12 page)

It was horrible. She didn't even realize she was crying until she felt a tear plop onto the blanket on her bed. But she was crying—in frustration, in humiliation, even in anger. And yet there was nothing she could do. She had to do this hateful thing. Now.

With shaking hands, she spread her legs and tried to insert the dragon. It was a difficult position from which to see the stone. "No further than the dragon's eyes," Ru Shan had said. But how did one curl around enough to see the damned carved bubble of an eye?

Fortunately, her evening's breast circles had created that now-familiar wetness between her legs. The jade slid into place, though it was an uncomfortable girth.

And then it slipped right out again as she clenched her muscles.

Cursing under her breath, she tried again. With the same results. Indeed, it took many tries before she could manage even one second, much less seven. And by that time, she felt hot and messy and aching in places that should never hurt.

But that was not the worst of it. As she began to get the understanding of which muscles to squeeze, how hard, and in what sequence, her body betrayed her even more. She began to shudder. Not a simple, delicate, ladylike lift of the shoulders. Her entire body shook, building from below, gaining in strength, until her head whipped back and forth like a child's bobble-head toy. The truly violent shudders were accompanied by an explosion of sound in her ears.

None of this was painful, merely disconcerting. And humiliating. And she hated it. Every single moment. And yet she dared not stop.

She'd never been happier to reach the number forty-nine. When she did, she threw the hateful dragon across the room. She watched it fly, both hoping and dreading seeing it shatter into a million pieces.

It didn't. It merely thudded against the wall, then clattered to the floor. And all Lydia could do was curl onto her side and sob.

* * *

"How are your exercises with the dragon stone progressing?"

Lydia shifted uncomfortably on the bed, her body aching in places she couldn't even name. "You said I had a week. It has only been four days."

Ru Shan folded his arms across his chest, but Lydia could see a flash of humor in his eyes. "I did not ask you to perform with the stone. I asked you how the exercises were progressing."

She bit her lip. "It hurts."

His eyes narrowed. "What kind of pain? A sharp tearing pain? Or—"

She was already shaking her head. "Aches. In the muscles." Or what she thought must be muscles, though she'd never truly thought of that area of her body as having muscles.

He nodded, his expression softening. "I understand. But that is to be expected."

She abruptly pushed to her feet. "It is
not
to be expected. I don't like it. I don't want to do this anymore." Where the flash of temper came from, she didn't know. She wasn't even sure if this was wise. But her humiliation built every time she tried to work with the stone, every time she curled herself into that ridiculous position just to see the damned dragon eye. And so she let it flow—all the anger and pain and hatred, blazing out of her in a white-hot fury.

To her shock, Ru Shan did not even flinch. He merely stood, all humor sliding from his eyes. His face darkened. But his tone, when he spoke, remained even. Almost pleasant.

"Exercise is not for pleasure, Li Dee. It is for strengthening. I do not enjoy my exercises either, but I perform them daily."

She paused, abruptly thrown by his statement. She couldn't imagine him with a stone dragon. Where would he put it?

He must have read the confusion on her face because he released a quick burst of laughter. "I do not work with the dragon stone as you do. But I have exercises as well. One cannot become a jade dragon without extensive training."

"And you are a jade dragon?"

"Yes," he responded, with a slight dip of his head for modesty.

She glanced over her shoulder at Fu De. "Are you one as well?" she asked.

"No," the young man answered in English.

"Fu De is a green dragon, not yet accomplished enough to become a jade. He asked to assist in your training so as to learn."

She opened her mouth to ask for more details. In fact, she had so many questions, she wasn't exactly sure where to begin. But Ru Shan would not indulge her. Instead, he held up his hand.

"I will ask you only one more time, Li Dee. How are your exercises progressing?"

She wasn't sure exactly how to answer, but she could tell he would brook no more distractions. "I... I don't shudder as often now."

"You have less age to throw off."

She nodded, knowing he believed that the shudders were her body's way of releasing the evil energies that aged a woman. Add to that the breast circles and the special foods Fu De was feeding her, and Lydia was supposed to be moving backward in time to her adolescence. And perhaps, she reluctantly admitted, Ru Shan was right. She did feel better. Her skin was softer, more supple, and her body seemed stronger. Of course, that could simply be because she had been locked in a small room for all this time with no exercise, indulgent foods, or anything else that might stress her body.

Ru Shan crossed to the window, reaching up to the sill where she had left the carved dragon. She watched as the rosy dawn light momentarily painted his face. Then he spoke, asking questions she resented. "Can you stand without it falling?"

She looked away, not wishing to see him. "Not completely. Not for seven seconds." But she was getting closer. Indeed, it was becoming quite a challenge to her now.

"Good." He picked up the dragon and brought it to his nose, inhaling deeply. Then he held the stone in his hands and closed his eyes. "Excellent," he said, his eyes still closed. "Your yin is becoming most pure. I can feel it in the stone." Then he opened his eyes and smiled. "I have wonderful news, Li Dee. I believe you are ready to release some of your yin to me."

She stepped back, abruptly realizing her time had run out. Ru Shan was prepared to push her over the edge into whatever abyss these Chinese deviants inhabited. And there was nothing she could do about it.

"Do not be afraid," Ru Shan soothed. "I have promised you that it will not hurt."

She nodded, though her heart still raced. She did not think it would hurt. Indeed, she very much feared it would not hurt. That she would
like
it. That she would want more and more and more, just as her Uncle Jonathan did, unable to go for a day or more without visiting his mistress. His thoughts, his body, his entire being was consumed with finding the next moment to rut. Like a beast in heat was what her aunt said, with no more refinement or culture than a pig.

Was that what she would become?

The very thought terrified her, and yet how could she escape?

Meanwhile, Ru Shan was coming closer, his body large and imposing though he seemed no taller than average. "Why are you afraid?" he asked, obviously perplexed. "Why would I harm that which I have gone to great effort and expense to purify?"

What he said made logical sense, but it did nothing to ease the panic that gnawed at Lydia's chest. She had to leave. Now. No matter what the cost.

"Li Dee," Ru Shan continued. "I will not hurt you..."

She could not wait any longer. It was time to escape. She forced herself to relax, to breathe calmly. It took all her effort, but she was determined. And was rewarded. As she seemed to relax, so too did Ru Shan and Fu De. They smiled at her, and Ru Shan even gestured formally to the bed, indicating that they should start.

But midway through his bow, she bolted. She flew past Ru Shan, skirted Fu De, and tore out of the tiny flat. Or so she imagined. So she wanted and hoped and desperately wished.

In truth, she never made it past Ru Shan. He caught her around the waist, easily lifting her off the ground. So she kicked him. She screamed, she bit, she fought, she did everything she could imagine, but he was stronger. And with the help of Fu De, she had no chance.

Through it all, he was trying to talk to her, trying to speak. "Li Dee, I do not wish to harm you. No pain, Li Dee. No pain, I promise." He descended into Chinese, curses by the sound of it. Then, to one side, Lydia saw Fu De nod and scurry out, returning quickly with bright red silk cords.

Seeing them sent her into a frenzy. She redoubled her efforts, managing for one brief moment to struggle out of Ru Shan's grasp. But it was only for a moment. He caught her quickly, using his entire body to position her on the bed. Then, the very next moment, he toppled her over, pushing her onto the mattress while he pressed down on top of her.

"I do not want to bind you, Li Dee. Stop! You must stop!"

But she did nothing of the sort. She fought like a demon.

To no avail. All too soon, with Ru Shan's heaviness atop her and Fu De assisting from the side, her hands and feet were bound, and no matter how much she twisted or pulled, she could not escape.

So she screamed. She bellowed and hollered and sobbed, begging for help in English, in Chinese, in any language or way she could imagine.

At last, Ru Shan pulled a silk handkerchief from his pocket and stuffed it into her mouth. All the while he was shaking his head, visibly disturbed by her actions.

"I have left it too long, Li Dee. I am terribly sorry. The yin has made you insane. But it will not be long. I promise. I will help you. I swear."

"No. No," she sobbed through the silk fabric. She was shaking her head, tears flowing freely as she begged him not to continue. And she saw great sympathy in his eyes as he touched her cheek, gently wiping away her tears.

"It is entirely my fault, Li Dee. This yin—just like the yang—too much of it leads to insanity. It must be drained off. It must." Then he reached down, adjusting her attire.

Only now did she realize how exposed she was. In her struggles, the robe had come completely open and rucked up to just beneath her bottom. Only the silken tie remained across her belly, but beyond that, she was completely open to his gaze. His touch. His evil.

Except he did not touch her in an evil way. In fact, he readjusted her robe so that it covered her lower half, just as if she were sitting up. Just as they had done for nearly two weeks. Indeed, he did not touch her down there in any way except to smooth the fabric.

But even that had her legs twitching in reaction, her body tensing in horror.

"We will begin as always, Li Dee. We must. To get the yin flowing in the right channels. But afterward, I swear, you will have your release."

His words caused her to cry out again, hauling as hard as she could on her bonds, but they did an excellent job of restraining her. There was nowhere for her to go, no way to escape Ru Shan's interest.

And so it began. With simple breast circles, beginning near her nipples in an ever-expanding spiral. She tried to fight her body's reaction. She tried not to breathe as she had been taught, tried not to feel the slow release of tension. But they had been doing this for so long now that she was unable to prevent it. All too soon she was exhaling with his downstroke, inhaling with the up. He was being especially gentle, she could tell, out of respect for her. But his chivalry did not extend to stopping.

And all too soon, she did not want him to stop. Her ragged sobs ended, and her stuttering breaths evened out. Until he reversed direction.

"We are beginning the flow now, Li Dee. We are building the yin behind your plum flowers—your nipples—and then I will suck out the nectar."

His circling drew tighter and smaller, only this time, instead of stopping with a small tight circle around her nipples, Ru Shan closed his fingers around one. The first time she felt his fingers there, her entire body tensed, and she shifted on the bed with his motions so she would not feel them so much. She had no desire to tingle as his long, warm fingers lifted her plum flowers, as he called them. And when he continued his circling, drawing her breasts around by their peak, she simply closed her eyes and tried not to breathe.

But she could not maintain her resistance for long. As he began his second narrowing spiral, she found herself pushing into his hands rather than away. Then, as he delicately lifted her nipples, she felt as if he tugged on a long cord that began with his fingertips but extended down through her body, down into her very womb. And as he gently lifted and swirled her breasts, that cord began to tingle, then hum.

The sensation grew with each one of his spirals until she felt as if he pulled directly on a spot deep inside her belly. But it was not just her belly, for the energy radiated outward from there until heat and energy suffused her entire body.

"Stop," she whispered, afraid of what was about to happen.

"Do you feel the yin?" Ru Shan asked. "Do you feel it drawing from everywhere in your body?"

She nodded. How could she not? It was true.

"I am drawing it forth, Li Dee. Bringing it from everywhere directly to your plum flower. Do you feel the stem when I pull?"

He tugged gently on her nipples, and even her toes curled with the draw of power.

"Can you feel the yin course through your body? It comes to here." He pressed the flat of his hand over her belly, just above her womb. He moved his hand gently, in rhythmic circles, and inside, the flow of power seemed to increase. Seemed to build. "You must let the energy flow from here..." He shifted on the bed, pressing both of his palms against her belly. "To up here." So saying, he let his hands flow upward, opening around her ribs, but always moving upward, gathering the energy until he lifted her breasts and narrowed his hands. Finally, he once again grasped her nipples, squeezing them in the same pulsing rhythm that beat inside her.