White Lines (7 page)

In between her highs, Charlie taught her things. Mostly about sex. He made her feel beautiful—too beautiful for the young gangsta wannabes she hung around. She began to recognize game, because Charlie taught her what he knew. Those conversations felt privileged to Jada. Like Charlie was letting her in on the ground floor of Hustlers, Inc. She learned how to get what she wanted from men of any age. Mr. Charlie taught her what to say, how to dress. He was schooling her, telling her how to hold her liquor when she drank, how to roll a dutch properly. He told her that he was going to make her the baddest bitch ever. He would show her how to be every man’s fantasy. Soon nothing a nigga said
sounded as good as it used to. Jada recognized their game, and she shot them down left and right. Only Charlie was getting it at that point. He seemed genuinely interested in her. She thought he was the only one who understood her.

Charlie introduced her to the art of oral sex, to all kinds of different positions. He showed her how to work her hips when she rode him. Jada felt like he was teaching her how to be his woman, grooming her to keep him happy. She would have done just about anything to keep old Charlie happy, because old Charlie was keeping her high. And she liked it like that.

He was also showing Jada how to survive in the mean streets. He taught her how to navigate all kinds of situations, and how to protect herself. He gave her a knife and showed her how to stash a razor without being detected. He taught her how to get what she wanted out of the men she came in contact with. Jada felt like a grown-up in his presence, and Mr. Charlie fed into that. When he spoke, she listened, and he knew she was like putty in his hands.

With her eighteenth birthday drawing near, Mr. Charlie was carrying on a physical relationship with both Jada and her mother. In her mind, usually in the midst of her drug-induced fog, Jada felt that she was getting back at her mother somehow. She convinced herself that what she was doing with Mr. Charlie was payback for her mother letting her and Ava down. It was revenge for the fact that Edna had failed her daughters when they needed her most. It was her way of rationalizing what she knew was wrong, so that she could continue to be selfish.

He continued to visit her mother periodically, bringing her money, giving her attention. But Edna was blind to the winks Charlie would toss Jada’s way, to the way he would touch Jada’s ass when her mother’s back was turned. Their secret was theirs alone. Until the day it came crashing down.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Edna hadn’t returned from Sunday church service yet. After two nights of smoking crack, Jada had just woken up, at four o’clock in the afternoon. She stumbled out of bed, and almost immediately felt the urge to get high. She started scratching
at her skin, itchy after two days in the same clothes. She needed a shower, and had hardly eaten a thing. But all she could think about was how soon she could get high again.

The doorbell rang, and Jada stumbled to answer it. When she opened the door and found Charlie standing there, she gladly ushered him inside. She had planned to take a shower, get dressed, and go looking for him. But now she wouldn’t have to go looking after all.

“Hey,” she said, smiling. Her mouth felt cottony and dry, but she licked her lips, happily. “Mommy ain’t back from church yet.”

Charlie gave Jada a once-over and shook his head. “You look a mess,” he said. “Go clean yourself up before your mother sees you like this.” Charlie knew that Edna was beginning to grow suspicious of Jada’s behavior and her appearance lately. He’d done his best to reassure her that Jada was too smart to do anything as stupid as use drugs. But with Jada walking around looking like the neighborhood crackhead, he was having a harder time convincing Edna that her daughter wasn’t slipping.

“I will,” Jada said. “But let me get you off real fast before I go wash up. Then you can give me a couple of dollars—”

“I’m not gonna fuck you in your mama’s house, Jada. You must be crazy,” Charlie protested, before sitting down on the sofa. He shook his head at her.

“I didn’t say you had to fuck me, Mr. Charlie.” Jada smiled at him again, and without further discussion, she dropped to her knees and frantically unzipped his pants.

“Stop playing, Jada,” Charlie protested, halfheartedly. “Wait till later on.”

But Jada ignored him. She knew that her head game was the best, and estimated that within five minutes tops she could make him bust a nut. Then she could go and get high while he hung around and waited for Edna to come back. Deaf to his protests, she engulfed him with her mouth, earning what she needed. His penis was limp, and she sucked all of it, until it began to grow inch by inch in her mouth. Still offering a weak protest, Charlie reminded Jada that her mother would be on her way home. But Jada was persistent, and she tightened the suction in her
cheeks, sucking all of him into her mouth and establishing an intoxicating rhythm. His head fell back against the sofa, as he enjoyed the sensation of Jada’s warm mouth on his old penis. He closed his eyes, and held on to her head, pushing Jada down on his dick as far as she would let him. He felt the cum throbbing within his dick as it made its way to the head. Jada felt it too, and sucked harder as she felt Charlie about to cum. But Edna’s scream brought him out of his trance.

Jada pulled herself to her feet and faced her mother, wiping the spit from her chin, as Charlie came involuntarily. Edna stood crying in shock only feet from where Jada stood. The apartment door was still open behind her, and both Jada and Mr. Charlie wondered how they hadn’t heard her come in. Charlie sat with cum all over him, dumbfounded. He grabbed a nearby pillow and wiped himself off, quickly. Then he adjusted his pants and stood between the two women, wondering what the hell would happen now.

Edna charged at Jada, tearing, scratching, clawing, and ripping at her daughter’s face. “You dirty bitch!”

Jada was screaming, trying to block her mother’s wild blows. Jada had never seen her mother act so aggressively, and she had never expected her mother to hit her. Gone was the woman who always let the men in her life batter her both physically and emotionally.

“Edna, come on, now. Get off the girl, you’re hurting her.” Charlie tried to coax Edna to stop, but even he was hesitant to step into her pathway for fear of being hurt. He cautiously pulled Edna off of her daughter.

Jada tucked herself into a ball, weeping and trying to shield her face from further damage.
“You and your sister!
” Edna was yelling. “You and your fucking sister!” Finally, Charlie pulled Edna off of Jada with enough force to send her tumbling backward.

Edna sat panting, with her back against the wall. “You get the hell out of my house!” She looked at Charlie, and was tempted to kill him. How could he mess with her daughter? She was sobbing, seeming as if she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Mr. Charlie tried to intervene. “Edna, hold on a minute—”

“Get out, Charlie. You’re dead wrong! Oh, my God! Both of you get out!
Get out!
”

Jada felt shame and regret, but couldn’t bring herself to offer a pitiful apology. There was no apology that could excuse what her mother had just witnessed. Without protesting, she went to her room and gathered some of her belongings. Her face felt hot from all the scratches and slaps. When she finally looked at herself in her bedroom mirror, she saw the crisscross scratches and bruises from her mother’s attack. She was bleeding in some places, and her own tears stung, as she gathered her things. She could hear Mr. Charlie trying, unsuccessfully, to calm Edna down. By the time Jada emerged from her room, Mr. Charlie was standing by the door looking defeated. Edna looked at her daughter and then at Charlie—another man who had made her feel like she was special, and then broken her heart—as tears fell from her eyes. She walked quickly into the bathroom, slammed the door, and slid to the floor, her sobs echoing off the walls. Jada left with Mr. Charlie that day and moved into his apartment; it was the beginning of a whole new life for her.

By now Jada and Shante were straight-up fiends. Whenever her mother was home and she couldn’t do her drugs in her apartment, Shante would come to Mr. Charlie’s apartment and smoke with Jada. He would let them do their thing, and he would go on about his business. Jada started smoking more than ever. She stopped going to school, and dropped out in her senior year.

After Jada moved in with him, Mr. Charlie kept her as high as she wanted. He made sure she had three square meals a day, a roof over her head, and anything else she asked him for. He used her physically, and she let him. Their arrangement was mutually beneficial. Jada wasn’t disillusioned enough to believe that she was Charlie’s one and only. His “wife”—Kelly—still came by every now and then. Charlie explained to Jada that Kelly was really no more than a lady who’d been down for him over the years, and she still made money for him. Whenever she was there, Jada would go and stay at Shame’s house until the woman had left, and Mr. Charlie was alone again.

Shante was amazed by this. “You’re telling me that you fuck him, you live there, he gives you dough. But when his wifey comes over, you just leave, and she don’t say nothing to you? Y’all don’t fight? What kinda shit is that? You’re both sharing the same man.”

Jada shrugged. “I’m not in love with Mr. Charlie. I don’t need to have a confrontation with his wife. We never had any drama.” Jada didn’t
know how Mr. Charlie explained their relationship or the fact that she was living with him to his wifey, and she really didn’t care. Shante shook her head in disbelief. Jada tried to explain once again. “For me … I’m grateful to Charlie for what he’s done to help me. But he’s only a means to an end. He looks out for me. I may care about him. But I know he’s not my man.”

Charlie was getting serviced sexually, and Jada was having her habit sustained. Jada had all of Mr. Charlie’s money at her disposal and no mother to hide from anymore. She was high all the time. Within three months, Mr. Charlie had her selling her body.

There was a side to Charlie that Jada had not yet seen. He began to show his true colors in September of 1993. Slowly Charlie began to stop giving Jada money. It started with an occasional no, when all Jada had been accustomed to hearing from Charlie was yes. This caught her by surprise, but Charlie still gave her
some
money, so she didn’t complain. He was still giving her crack, although he wasn’t giving it to her as freely. Charlie started demanding more from Jada in order for her to get high.

She woke up one afternoon from an eleven-hour “nap” and took a long shower. She got out, dried off, and threw on some shorts and a T-shirt. She was hungry, so she headed for the kitchen to fix a sandwich. As she passed the living room, she saw that Charlie’s friend Gordon had stopped by. She greeted him and proceeded toward the kitchen. She listened to the men laughing and talking in the next room while she fixed her sandwich. She sat down and ate it, and drank close to the whole half gallon of juice in the refrigerator. She was wondering how to get Charlie’s attention, so that she could get high without being rude and interrupting his conversation. But as if he’d read her mind, Charlie joined her in the kitchen and greeted her smiling.

“Hey, sleeping beauty. Good to see you up and at ‘em.”

Jada smiled. “Can I get something to smoke while you talk to your friend?” she asked.

Charlie tilted his head to the side. “Well, I was hoping you would come and talk to my friend, too,” he said. He smiled again, though this
time it seemed a little wicked. “I told Gordon about that thing I taught you last night, and he wants to see it.”

Jada stood, dumbfounded. Surely he wasn’t asking her to give him head in front of his friend. “I can’t do that in front of him. I don’t feel comfortable—”

“I thought you wanted to get high.” Charlie lit a cigarette and blew the smoke in her direction. The cloud loomed in front of her, and she trembled nervously. She did want to get high. She looked at Charlie, hoping he would tell her that he was only kidding. But instead he walked back into the living room, leaving her with the option of following him and getting high, or sitting in the kitchen and fiending. She stood there and debated within herself for several minutes, before reluctantly following him into the living room.

She looked at Gordon. He was a nice-looking older man—older than Mr. Charlie. He lived in the neighborhood with his churchgoing wife. He smiled at her, and she looked away. She looked again at Charlie, hoping he would spare her this indignity. But he unzipped his pants, unbuckled his belt, and spread his legs, allowing her easy access.

Jada slowly walked toward him and kneeled before him. She took his dick in her hands, blocking out the third person in the room and pretending she was alone with Mr. Charlie, like usual. She wrapped her hand tightly around the base of his dick and sucked the head. Her hand matched the rhythm of her mouth, and Charlie was in ecstasy. He moaned and fondled her; Gordon watched closely. Finally, he came, and Jada waited anxiously for her reward.

Charlie sat collecting his breath, and Jada stood to her feet and waited. Gordon sat back with an aroused expression on his face. To Jada’s surprise, he unzipped his pants and stroked his dick as he stared at her. Jada looked at Charlie confused, and he nodded in his friend’s direction. “Now, be nice, baby girl. Show Gordon some love, too.”

Jada stood frozen in disbelief. “Charlie, please,” she protested, her eyes pleading with Charlie not to make her suck his friend’s dick. That was too much for her, and she didn’t want to do it. “I don’t wanna do that.”

Charlie looked at her silently for several moments. “I’m asking you to
do something for a friend, and you tell me no? I don’t think you like it when I
tell you
no.”

Jada fought back tears, and looked at Charlie with new
eyes.
She wanted to be high badly, so she did it. She got on her knees in front of Gordon and tried not to notice his unfamiliar scent. She wanted to cry the entire time, and she felt sick. But she held it together, knowing that Charlie didn’t like tears. If she cried, she ran the risk of not getting what she wanted. No matter how hard he fucked her or how nasty he treated her, she wasn’t allowed to cry. So as she sucked Gordon’s dick she was determined not to cry. Jada stepped outside of herself and separated her mind from what she was doing. She imagined herself someplace far away, and only her body was involved in the act she was engaged in. She wandered off in her mind until Gordon burst on her favorite shirt. When she was done, she desperately grabbed the crack from Charlie’s hands and ran to the bedroom to get high. She felt dirty all over again, until the crack took her to a place where nothing even mattered.