White Lines (20 page)

Born was strong for his mother, knowing that she had lost more than just her husband. Ingrid Graham had lost her mentor, her friend, and her first love. It was such a sad sight to see her walking through life with no Leo to care for. There would be no light in her eyes for a long, long time. During this grieving process, Born wanted to be a rock for his moms to lean on, and yet his own pain was so raw. She made the funeral arrangements, and he helped her out with whatever money she needed. He thought he had summoned up the strength to attend the funeral, and he prepared himself for it as best he could. But when the day arrived, he found himself sitting in the church beside his mother, unable to look at his father’s body lying prone in the coffin.

The church was packed to capacity, with all of Staten Island seeming to fill the sanctuary. Everybody knew Leo, yet many of them were meeting Ingrid for the first time. Nobody really knew her, despite the fact that the whole world knew Leo Graham. Ingrid had always been a private woman, an exact opposite of the man she loved so dearly. She had lived her life outside of the spotlight, content with Leo being the center of attention. Leo had loved to live his life that way—with all eyes on him. But Ingrid was cut from a different cloth. She preferred to be demure, and stand in the shadows. It was one of the reasons Leo loved her as he’d never loved another woman.

Born listened as the preacher spoke, and had to laugh to himself at
the irony. Leo had lived his life with his middle finger in the air. He didn’t give a damn about law, religion, or any type of protocol. The man had as many enemies as he had friends, and Born sat there smiling as he thought of all the times his father had been shot at, stabbed, and cussed out. All the drama of living his life in the fast lane. Leonard Graham had lived his life according to his own whims and by his own standards. But in this, his last appearance before all mankind, Leonard was being eulogized by a man of God, a preacher who denounced the very things his father stood for. Born grinned, knowing that his father was truly one of a kind. He would miss the smooth old man, even with all his faults.

Born looked around the church, and was caught off guard when he saw his boys sprinkled throughout the congregation. First he spotted Chance sitting in the third row. Then he saw Smitty and Jamari sitting two rows from the back. He listened as the preacher asked if anyone cared to share any remarks about the deceased. He sat there as several of his half siblings and his father’s friends stood up and talked about Leo. Born held his mother’s hand while he listened to story after story about the life and times of Leo Graham. Some moments were lighthearted, and the crowd would laugh as they reminisced over his father. Finally, he saw Martin make his way up to the microphone. The two of them still hadn’t fully made amends after Born’s departure from the crew. Born was still hurt that Martin had threatened to rob him every day, and he was surprised to see him there. He watched in stunned silence as his childhood friend cleared his throat, and glanced over at Born. Then Martin turned to Leo’s body lying still and at peace, and he smiled.

Martin looked at the crowd. “I sat here, and I listened to all of y’all talking about Leo Graham and all his funny stories. I grew up with his son Born, and I know Leo could be funny sometimes, because he sure made me laugh over the years. But I wanted to say something kinda serious about the dude.” Unaccustomed to speaking in public, Martin folded the funeral program in his hand and toyed with it awkwardly. “He had his struggles, you know what I’m saying? He wasn’t perfect. But he was a good man. He made a good impression on a lot of people, even with his problems. I always hung out at my man Born’s crib when we
were kids. His house was the best place to go after school. He had all the video games, he was the first one in our building with a VCR, and his moms used to let us play our music real loud.”

Everybody laughed at his honesty. “But to me, the best part of going to Born’s crib was getting to see Leo up close and personal. When we were kids, Leo was like a superhero to us. Kinda like Superman or the Incredible Hulk. I ain’t have no dad at my house, and neither did most of us. So when we saw Leo come through the hood, it was like all of us got excited. This was all of our dads. He had … like … a way about him that only old gangstas have.” Martin was grinning as if he could still see Leo gliding down the block with his old-school bop. “Leo used to always come around and talk to Born. He would tell him how to be successful in life and what to do, what not to do. But since I was always on the scene, Leo used to tell me a lot, too. He taught me some real lessons when I was a shorty, at a time when there wasn’t nobody else really trying to teach me nothing. I was always hardheaded. I used to give my moms a hard time and try to be the man all the time. But whenever I saw Leo, he would pull my coat and tell me to get my act together. I used to really admire the guy, so I took what he said to heart, and I respected him. But then, he got sick.” Martin looked over at Ingrid and Born sitting hand-in-hand in the front row, and he knew that they understood exactly what he meant. “And you could say what you want about the dude, but he was still the same Leo to me. He never lost his swagger. And I never stopped looking at him as a hero, neither. I guess sometimes heroes just don’t live forever. And sometimes they make mistakes in life, just like the rest of us. I know that he was a father figure to a lot of us kids growing up. And I’m gonna miss him a whole lot.” Martin dabbed at his eyes, with the back of his tightly balled fist, and then he cleared his throat. He looked at Born and his mother once more. “You can call me if you need anything at all, and I got y’all.” And just like that, Martin took his seat in the congregation, and reclaimed his spot in Born’s heart. It almost moved him to tears. From that day forward, in business Born was still on his own. But despite the fact that they made money separately, they all looked out for one another the same as they always had. And Born knew that his friends were true. Especially Martin.

The funeral commenced, and when he finally stood at his father’s side and looked down at his cold body, lying stiff in his casket, Born felt lost. He shook his head, feeling his father had died too young, certainly too soon. “You gave up.” Born said it, hoping that somehow his father could hear him now. “You quit on me.”

He turned and took his mother by the hand, and only inwardly did he mourn the loss of his hero. At the funeral Born wouldn’t allow himself the satisfaction of crying. He was strong for his mother, and the sad little boy inside of him went uncomforted once more.

The streets never sleep, and so Born was back on the block within days of burying his father. It was his way of doing what he had set out to do. He wanted to pick up the torch that Leo had dropped, and Born was determined to win. He wanted to do it for his father, and he hoped to be the man that his father had been unable to be. But he hit a speed bump along the way.

Born was arrested for possession of a controlled substance two months after his father’s death. He had been caught with about an ounce of weed, and he was eager to get out of jail on bail before his mother found out that he’d been arrested. Born didn’t want to further complicate things, and stress her out more than she already was, so Born called Jamari to get the five thousand dollars that he needed to get out.

Jamari was the only one from his childhood crew that Born still did business with. Martin, Chance, and Smitty were still doing their thing separately. Jamari was the only one still working with him, because Born had taken him under his wing from the start. Everything Jamari learned about the hood he learned from Born. The first time he held the cold steel of a biscuit, Born had placed it in his hands. Jamari had risen in the game, and ultimately gained respect in the hood because of the circles Born had opened up to him.

Just days before his arrest, Born had given Jamari more work to sell, and Born knew that Jamari had the money. Their cash flowed steadily,
and Born kept on top of it all. So when Born called for bail money, Ja-mari told him that he would be there that day to get him out. “Don’t worry about nothing, Born. I got you.”

Born waited all day for Jamari to come and bail him out. As the hours passed, Born became more and more furious. When the guards loaded him on the prison bus for his trip to Rikers Island, after no one had shown up in court to bail him out, Born was livid. He called Jamari as soon as he got to Rikers, and Jamari didn’t answer the phone. Finally, Born was forced to call his mother.

“Ma,” Born said, feeling like a complete loser for having to burden his mother with this shit now. “I got locked up, and I need bail. Can you come and get me?”

Ingrid sighed. She wanted nothing more than for Marquis to get out of the game altogether, and to stay out of it. “Yeah,” she said. “I’ll be there to get you.”

Ingrid came down and bailed her son out the next day, and he hated that she had more to worry about now. He went looking for Jamari as soon as she got him out.

When he found his friend, Born was irate. He confronted Jamari on the block in the Harbor projects, and was tempted to kill him on the spot. Born charged across the courtyard headed in Jamari’s direction. Jamari spotted Born, and he was visibly nervous. On the inside, Jamari was telling himself that Born was just a man. He told himself that he had nothing to fear. But outwardly, it was obvious to Born that Jamari was scared to death. He shifted his weight uneasily from one foot to the other. And when Born finally stood in front of him, Jamari couldn’t seem to stand still.

“Where’s my money at, nigga?” Born cut right to the chase. He stood tall, and his commanding presence clearly intimidated Jamari.

Jamari’s voice faltered. “Born, let me tell you what happened,” he began. “I was on my way to bail you out. I was driving down the block in New Brighton.”

“What block?” Born barked.

“Jersey Street, right there in front of the projects,” Jamari clarified. “I
got pulled over by the police. I didn’t even do nothing wrong, but they snatched me out of the car and searched me. While they had me up against the gate, searching me, they searched the car, too. But they didn’t find shit. I wasn’t dirty that day, so they had no reason to pull me over in the first place. After they finished fucking with me, they let me get back inside my car. So I waited till the cops pulled off, and I went on my way. But when I got to the court, the bail money that I had stashed in the glove compartment was missing. The cops must have stole the money, Born, ‘cuz I had left the glove compartment unlocked. I didn’t want to contact you until I managed to make the money back somehow.” Jamari wasn’t sure that Born was buying his story, and as he gave his explanation, he never looked Born directly in the eye.

Born was speechless when he heard his friend’s account. Jamari’s tale made Born’s blood boil. Born had made his living in the streets, where it was imperative that he learn how to read people’s emotions. Often body language spoke louder than verbal conversations. And Jamari’s body language signaled that there was larceny in his heart. He fidgeted nervously, and his voice trembled.

Born stared at Jamari for a long time after hearing his story. “Jamari, do you think I’m a fool?” he asked at last.

Jamari shook his head, no. “Nah, Born. I know you ain’t no fool—”

“You think I’m naive?”

“Nah, Born.”

“So you know that I see through you right now, then?”

Jamari didn’t bother to answer the rhetorical question, and stared back at Born in silence.

“You must have forgot that I told that same bullshit story to A.J. when I wanted to do my own thing. Me and my niggas lied about being robbed, and we kept the product for ourselves. Remember that? So I know your story is bullshit.”

“Nah, Born. It ain’t even like that. I swear on my mother’s life I didn’t take that money from you. I ain’t lying to you, Born.”

Born looked at him in disbelief. He knew in his heart that Jamari was full of shit. But he had no proof. And having just buried his father, and
having just been released from jail, Born didn’t have it in him to go crazy. He thought about his mother and how upset she would be if he found himself deeper in trouble for fucking Jamari up. So Born did the next best thing. He cut him off, and counted his dough as a loss. But not before letting Jamari know that he saw through his story. “Jamari,” he said calmly. “I know you betrayed me. I know you took my dough, and your story about the cops is a lie. You can swear on anybody you want. But no matter how much you deny it, you know the truth, and I know it, too. You fucked up.” Seeing Jamari looking nervous enough to wet his pants, Born laughed. “It’s all good, li’l homie. I ain’t gonna hurt you. Just give me back all my work and get the fuck out my face.”

“Born, I ain’t never take nothing from you,” Jamari protested.

But Born was done talking. He snatched Jamari up by the collar of his shirt and pulled his face within inches of his own. “Give my shit back, and walk away before I change my mind,” he snarled.

Jamari dug nervously through his pockets and handed Born the crack he still had left to sell. Born took it, turned his back on his former friend, and walked away. Born never dealt with him again after that. Their friendship was a thing of the past. Even though they no longer crossed paths like they used to, Born was still bitter about what he perceived as being kicked when he was down. It was a feeling he didn’t like one bit.

But Born had more important things to focus on: mainly, his rise to prominence on the block, and how he had begun to blossom into a full-fledged bailer right in front of everyone’s eyes. He was now driving a black 1994 Mercedes Benz E320 convertible and living in an exclusive luxury building among wealthy neighbors. He had all that a man with power would want. Except a woman to share it with.

Up to that point in his life, Born had loved only one girl. His teenage love, Simone, had succeeded in wounding Born’s pride and breaking his heart, and after that he never let chicks get too close to him. His attitude after that always was, “What’s in it for me?” He wasn’t looking to fall in love ever again. He said that he would never give his heart to anyone else.