White Girl Problems (2 page)

The point was I didn't fear my parents; they feared me and my inability to care. I needed my inner badass, but she was faltering. She was scared of being caught doing something illegal. But the truth of the matter was that my badass behavior was only done with the light and fluffy stuff. I would drink and tell Sheila off and skip school. I never did anything illegal.

I looked down at my moccasins and smiled. I had made them cool. I was one of the first hipster girls in the Northwest. I tossed my hair and tapped lightly at his door. “Daddy?”

I could almost hear the sigh as he called out, “Come in.” My teeth clamped down on the inside of my cheek, forcing tears into my eyes. “Daddy, I’ve been accused of something terrible and Sheila believes I did it. She let some sleazy, sweaty security guard interrogate and embarrass me. She hates me.” I closed my eyes and let the tears well in my lashes, making my mascara run a little. I sniffled and glanced at him.

His dark eyes were wide. “Tell me everything, from the beginning.”

What Sheila didn’t see was that while she had been nattering on in the office of the chubby pretend po-po, I’d been coming up with a plan. I sniffled again and blinked hard, forcing a dark tear from my smudgy eyes. “Well, I was in the mall, looking at plumper, and I saw a couple girls from school, Melena and her friend Stacia. They saw me and told me that the guy I kinda like was going to Melena’s house tonight. Which means that they’re going to do it, ‘cause Melena screws everyone. She left a stain on Danny Miller’s couch once ‘cause they did it there.” He gagged and I could see the sweat and desperation creeping across his face. He’d never been good with daughters. Between his discomfort and the fact no one could talk in a circle like I could, he was doomed. I took a deep breath. “So I was all sad and walking around MAC, and I didn’t even notice that I had the stupid lip-gloss. I had money in my pocket. Since you let Sheila take my Visa and debit last week, I haven’t shopped much, but I did have my allowance. I didn't need to steal it. The man grabbed me, and when I tried to explain, he was so mean to me. He yelled at me and then Sheila came and she said she wished I’d never been born, and she took my phone and read my messages.” I sobbed harder. That one had actually hurt a little. She had been my stepmom since I was a small girl. She technically was the only mom I’d ever known.

That hadn’t mattered to either of us.

He was horrified. I could see it on his face. The door to the office opened seconds later, and Sheila walked in looking smug. It only lasted a moment. She saw me sobbing and rolled her eyes. “You aren’t buying any of this bullshit, are you? She is trash, just like your brother.”

I cried harder. The performance was becoming less of a performance. My dad shot up out of his chair. “What is wrong with you?”

I forced my back to shake with heaves. Okay, the performance was back on.

She stammered, wide-eyed and angry in a whole new way. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? YOU ARE GETTING CONNED BY A SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD LITTLE BIT—!”

“SHEILA! STOP!” He shouted at her. “Give me her phone and get out of my office. I will deal with this.”

She folded her arms. “Deal with what? You believe her garbage story.”

His nostrils flared and she and I both knew what that meant—she was done. Once they flared, you weren’t winning any arguments with him. He towered over her and growled, “I can’t believe you would let some security guard accuse her of this. If it had been one of your daughters, this would not have happened.”

Her eyes burned like bright-blue laser beams were about to shoot out of them. “MY DAUGHTERS WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!” She turned and stormed out of the office, slamming the door. It was technically an act of running away from the flaring nostrils, but he didn't know that. We all did it.

I almost started to laugh, but I knew I had him and laughing was only going to ruin it. I sucked air in rapidly. “Sh-sh-sh-she hates me.”

He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Honey. No, she doesn’t. She’s tired from going back to work and the security guard probably had her convinced. And last week you were so naughty, spending all that extra money. I’ll explain everything and get her to give you back your cards. They’ll be on the counter for you. Now go upstairs and have a nap, calm yourself down.” He handed me my phone as he shoved me out of the office.

I winced and ran for my room when I heard him call for Sheila to get her ass downstairs. When I was safe inside the room, with the closed door against my back, I pressed my phone on and pressed my security code. A photo of Aaron Merchant naked flashed on my screen. He was holding a stuffed bear over his crotch, but the bear was too far to the right. I got a full view of his package. My nose wrinkled all by itself, I swear. I was too aghast to actually have a reaction on my own.

My phone was in the photo album. The picture was a Snapchat, and yet, somehow it was— Oh my God! Sheila saved the picture!

She screenshot it as it came through. She had my phone unlocked? How? Oh God. I could feel my green smoothie coming back up.

My mouth started to go dry. I turned, ripping off my clothes and pulling a cute knit skirt over the knee-high riding boots and layered a white tank under a butter-colored, off-the-shoulder, over-sized shirt. I fixed my makeup and smeared the very last drags of my plumping lip-gloss on my mouth, before shoving my phone into my bra. I ran down the stairs to the kitchen where my cards were sitting. I reached for them but stopped, hovering my hand over top of them. It felt like a trap.

I sniffed the air for her hideous perfume. It was nowhere to be smelled. I snatched the cards and bolted for the front door, certain she would be plotting my demise from a shadow somewhere. I could hear my father dialing his cell phone just behind the door to his office. “Get me the number for the Northwest Plaza.”

When I was out on the front doorstep, I escaped to the right. I was near cramping up when I finally made it a few houses down the road.

I put my hands on my hips and heaved for air. My forehead felt damp. I brushed a finger along it, grimacing at the sweat. “Oh God.” I needed to start working out more. I turned up the road and sent Jessica, my stepsister, a text.

‘Out for the night! Tell Sheila!’

She messaged back instantly. ‘Chickenshit ;-) Do it yourself.’

I rolled my eyes as I got onto Linna’s street. ‘Hell to the no. She is frothing. I’ll take the blame for the broken vase in the foyer that I know your cat did.’

‘Deal.’

I sighed and hobbled up to Linna’s door. She opened it, laughing her masked face off. I held up my hand. “Don't even. I’ll curse you and your Proactiv will drip on your shirt.” I stormed past the front door and up the stairs to her room. She followed, texting yet somehow walking past the debris on the floor.

“So tell me what happened, but talk loud. I’m FaceTiming Steph.”

I looked at the fifty messages I’d missed. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

Linna shook her head. “No. We want details, looka.”

“No.” I held my middle finger up for the camera on the phone and texted Aaron.

‘You suck. Sheila saw that picture. Maybe next time use a bigger teddy bear. Idiot.’

He sent another picture but without the bear altogether. “Oh God. Why? My eyes.” Of course that never stopped me from taking a screenshot of it.

Linna sat on the bed across from me, texting. “What?”

I sent the picture to her and watched as her pale face got bright red. She tucked her blond hair up and gave me a look. “Do you guys have a thing?”

I gasped. “No. What? Eww. God. He touches himself with stuffed animals. Come on. How bad does one person’s day have to get?”

She snorted and rolled her bright-blue eyes. “You are so having a thing with him. Why else would he send that pic?”

I gagged. “He’s a freak. Yeah, well, Sheila saw the other one.”

Linna laughed harder and I gagged harder.

I squished my tummy. “I’m getting fat. I need to go on the bowl diet again.”

She wrinkled her nose. “What was that one?”

“The bowl diet, where you only eat as much food as fits in the bowl. It’s easy.”

She nodded. “Right. That was actually a smart one.”

“Yeah.”

I closed my eyes, lying on her bed, and wondered if my dad would believe the story he would hear from the security guard. I didn't want to think about it anymore. I opened one eye. “You still have the forty of that rum we smuggled back from Mexico?”

Linna looked over from her phone. “Oh my God, I do. Carter Henderson is having a thing tonight. We have to go.”

The clock on the wall said it was six. Too early to get drunk, but if we stayed, my dad was going to be at her house, no doubt accompanied by a prancing Sheila. She would be excited to gloat her exoneration and my failure. That was her thing. She loved it when I screwed up. I didn't know why I kept giving her opportunities to gloat. Why couldn't I stop being such an idiot?

Linna’s eyes brightened. “Oh, hey. I was at Sephora today and I got you one of the new plumpers. It’s better than the one you use, apparently.” She jumped up and grabbed it from the bag and tossed it at me.

I smiled. “Thanks. You didn't have to.”

She shrugged. “I was getting falsies for junior prom and they had it.”

“You should go for a fill. It’s better than falsies.” I opened the box and unscrewed the cap. It smelled like cinnamon, and when I smeared it across my lips, it felt amazing. I loved the tingling feeling. I puckered my lips. “Do they look bigger?”

She laughed. “Especially when you duck face at me.”

“Why do white girls have sucky skinny lips?”

She collapsed onto the bed. “I know, right? So not fair.”

Why can’t white girls drink without becoming one of the four?

The Crier, the Slut, the Mother Hen, the Fighter…

Chapter Two

German Porn

“I can feel the song inside of me.”

I looked over at Aaron and laughed. “You took too much.”

He laughed and I could barely see the colors of his eyes. “I took pure E. It’s not cut with anything. I don't think there’s any way you can OD on pure. Just relax and feel the beats.”

Little did he know, I never took any. I had tossed it into the pool when he’d handed it to me.

I poured my drink into my mouth and tried to swallow without dying. It was hard. The rum burned, but I toughed through like a champ.

“You know what I like about you, Fin?”

I coughed the burn back and looked at him again. “I’m a girl?”

He smiled, trying to do the whole charming smile thing he always did. He was hot; Aaron was that typical “Western US Hot Guy Dilemma” where you want to hate him because you shouldn’t date him. He was like a BFF but a dude, but at the same time a golden god. Dark-blond hair, sexy body, stunning blue eyes. I could imagine how he would look on top of me. It was hot.

He gave me the smile I loved, flashing his dimple. “No… I mean I like that you’re a girl, but I also like how badass you are. You’re not a typical thot, ya know?”

I scoffed. “I’m not a thot? You’re a dick. Who even classifies girls like that?” Thot was the newest trending word for slut and I hated it. It sounded dirty, and of course I wasn’t a slut. I was a virgin. I was the ungettable get.

It wasn’t from a lack of action—it was because the more you said no, the more boys wanted you. It had grown into a game. I was the most-wanted girl in school.

I got up and staggered inside from the pool deck. My drink spilled down my arm. I sighed and dumped it into a fake plant and tossed the cup behind a chair. As I walked past a guy I wasn’t sure I knew, I dragged my wet arm, wiping it across his back. He flashed me a smile. I winked and slithered through the party, weaving and wiping.

Carter walked up to me with a huge solo cup of beer. “Hey, Fin. What’s shakin’?”

I snickered. “My ass.”

A smile crept up his face. “I’d like that to be true. Wanna come upstairs?”

I laughed. “You wish. Those Snapchat naked photos were disturbing. You have to stop that. It’s creepy.”

“Just showing you the merchandise. Come upstairs and you can see it in real life.”

I rolled my eyes. “You think I’d give it up here, now? I don’t think so. You should have seen the ones Aaron sent.”

He leaned against the wall, smelling yummy, maybe body spray and beer mixed together. He was tall and thick, a football player of course; all the good ones were. “Forget Aaron. You know you want me to have it.”

I leaned into him, pressing myself against his firm chest, and whispered in his ear, “Not a friggin’ hope.”

He laughed, pressing me into the wall. “Liar.” He kissed my cheek, but I moved to the side before it could go anywhere else. He gave me a steamy look. Yikes. Hot boys and sexy eyes were a problem for me. I started to laugh and pointed at the girl next to us. “Your girlfriend wants you.”

Glancing over his shoulder at the hot mess in the corner brought an amused look to his intense face. “Nice.”

I winked and walked past the crying girl in the corner as she started to snivel to her friend. “I just love him, ya know?”

Her friend was looking around for an escape. “I know.”

The girl cried harder. “NO! You don’t know. No one does. I’ve loved him since freshman year and he’s here with her.”

I rolled my eyes and passed through into the kitchen. A dozen people were standing around the huge marble island, moaning. I stopped and watched as Loraine, a senior at my school, moaned, “Ohhhhhhhh.” She looked at the girl next to her who moaned too. They were passing the moan it looked like, but faking orgasms at the same time. I had no idea what was going on. It didn’t get better when the next girl pointed at the girl next to her and yelled, “Up die pooper?”

The girl next to her laughed and shook her head. A guy across from her pointed. “You were supposed to say nein. Ha, drink!”

Linna walked over to me. “German porn. New drinking game. Let’s not ask.”

I shook my head. “That girl seriously just said something to that blonde about a pooper?”

Linna laughed. “Eww. Let’s go.”

We staggered outside where she lit a smoke and I watched for Aaron. I wasn’t in the mood for his show. It was the same for every girl. Linna gave me a look. It was eerie in the moonlight. “Your dad came to my parents’ house.”