White Diamonds (15 page)

An older woman greeted her and led her into the kitchen.  “Are you hungry, dear?”

Malika was starving.  “Yes.”

The woman poured her a bowl of something that Malika didn’t recognize, but it tasted pretty good.  “It keeps their bellies full for most of the morning.”

Malika sat down at the end of a wooden table and ate in silence until a woman she guessed to be close to her age sat down beside her.

“It’s not that bad.  I’ve been here for three years, but I get the hell out of here on the weekends.  Rapid City is an okay place to have fun and sometimes I hop a plane to Minneapolis.”

Malika wondered why the woman was here if she had the money to hop planes.  She didn’t even have a car here.

“You get to teach the fun class.  The first graders are eager to learn, but my class, the fourth graders, are a different story.  They skip school a lot but it’s just because they have to help their families.”

“With what?”

“Money, Malika.  There isn’t any.  Half or more of the families here on the reservation live below the poverty level.  Most adults are unemployed, or if lucky, they work in one of the border towns.  That leaves the older children at home to care for the little ones.  This ain’t exactly the high life.”

Malika had noticed that much.  But Kevin had seemed different and she wanted to know more about him.  What was his story?

“Anyway, I’m Lauren.  Let me know if you need anything.”

Malika thanked her, finished her breakfast, and began setting up her classroom.  The day ended at three and Malika was tired.  She wasn’t accustomed to working at all, and the stress she saw in even the youngest faces bothered her.  She couldn’t possibly help these kids.  It seemed as if they had given up before they had begun, and why wouldn’t they?  They could see what they had to look forward to.  It was spread out before them like a blanket of snow across the prairie.

Lauren lived in the opposite direction from the school and a long way from Malika, so the new young teacher began the walk home.  Her head was down as she neared the cabin and she didn’t see the jeep until she was at her front door.

“Made it through your first day, I see.”  Kevin hopped out of the jeep and offered his assistance.

“What do I need assistance for?”  Malika was tired and in no mood for Kevin’s wisecracks.

“I’m here to install a light.  It’s no big deal.  Just a small light to ward off any future kerosene fires.”

Malika didn’t want a light.  She wanted to go home.  While Kevin began the installation, Malika retreated to the bedroom, dropped her bag, and curled up on the bed facing away from the door.

When Kevin had finished, he called to her.  “You want me to show you how this thing works?”  No answer.  He took a couple of steps toward the bedroom.  “Malika?”  He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, listening to Malika’s hushed sobs.  “You sick?”

“No.”

“You want to see how the switch works, or not?  It’s kind of tricky.”

When Malika didn’t answer him, he walked bravely to the bed.  He hoped she had not become ill.  He had watched more than his share of young people die, and with each subsequent death he felt as if a part of him had died, too.  He placed a heavy hand on Malika’s hip and waited for her to turn his way.  She moved her eyes without moving her head and she could see his fingers resting on her pelvis.  His hand was on her hip but she could also feel it on her butt and she didn’t want it to leave.  He shook her lightly, his fingers coming very near her mound.  “Hey, you okay?”

She turned onto her back so quickly that for a split second his fingers slid across her mound before he pulled it away.  She wiped the tears from her face.  “I’m fine.”

He stood there with his arms crossed, more for his own benefit than hers.  When he touched her, he felt things that he had not felt in a long time, things he swore he wouldn’t allow himself to feel ever again.  “What do you have to cry about?”

Malika sat up.  She was tired of this man’s sarcasm or whatever it was he was doing to her.  Her blue eyes traveled upward to his deep brown eyes and she was determined not to let him get to her.  “I want to go home!”

“And leave all this?”

“You have no idea how it feels to be away from everything you ever knew.  Nothing works here and everything is different.  I feel like a foreigner in some strange land.”

Kevin just stood there with no emotion but with no sharp words, either; not yet, anyway.

Malika plopped down hard on the bed on her back.  “You don’t understand,” she stated firmly.

The man who had seen more than anyone should ever see uncrossed his arms and pulled the whining girl to her feet.  “Come here.”

Malika caught herself just before slamming into the man’s muscular body as he pulled her behind him.  He stopped at the window in the living room and held her face in his hand, forcing her to look out at the desolate landscape.

“You see that?”

“What?”

“All of it, as far as you can see.  It’s all reservation…reserved for us by the United States government.”  The emphasis he placed on the words reservation and United States frightened Malika a little.  He seemed moody or mad or something.  She wished she could somehow read his emotions.

“I see it.”

“This is foreign to me, to my people, but we have no choice.  This is where we are forced to stay.  Forced, Malika.  We were forced from our home and forced to this land, some of the worst land in the nation.  Very appropriately, it is called the Badlands.  Nothing grows here except for life’s worst atrocities.  My people are plagued with death at too early an age, alcoholism, diabetes, poverty beyond belief, infant mortality five times greater than the national average, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

“But you were born here.  This is your place, your home.  I feel lost.”

“You are a real piece of work, you know that, my little paleface? So, this is where I belong, is it?  That is what you said, is it not?  This is my place?”  He let go of her jaw with a hurtful yank, and walked toward the door.

“Aren’t you going to show me how it works, the light thing?”

With his hand on the doorknob, he stopped and turned toward her.  “You seem to have it all figured out.”

He slammed the door behind him, and Malika was left alone, her mouth open in disbelief.  After several attempts, she was able to figure out the makeshift light switch Kevin had installed and she pulled out the book she had begun reading.  She couldn’t concentrate on the words.  She just stared at the picture of the war hero, Crazy Horse, and thought about Kevin.  The face, the jaw, the fighting spirit all reminded her of him.  Then, from nowhere, she heard gunshots and she screamed.  Who was shooting at her?  The loud knock on her door scared the crap out of her.  She didn’t dare answer it.  The pounding started again.

“Malika, open the door.”

Timidly, she asked, “Kevin?”

“Let me in, Malika.”

Holding the book to her chest, she slowly opened the door.  Kevin forced the door open, knocking Malika to the floor.  “Get into the bedroom, Malika, and get down on the floor next to the bed and stay away from the outer wall.”

Malika just sat there on the floor clutching the book.

“Now, Malika,” he ordered, pulling her to her feet and pushing her toward the bedroom.

Malika looked back and noticed the determined look on Kevin’s face as well as the rifle in his hand.  She stared at him and from that angle he looked like the man in the book, minus the rifle.  She heard gunshots again and she screamed.

“Malika, get your little white ass in there.”

She struggled to fight back the tears, but she did as she was told.  She lay on the floor clutching the book as if it would somehow keep her safe.  It seemed as though hours had passed before she heard another word from Kevin.  She lay on her side and called out to him. He didn’t say a word, but she heard his footsteps coming toward her and then she saw him standing in the doorway, the rifle in his hand, looking taller than he had before.

“What is going on?”

“Come on out, Malika.”  He turned and walked away and Malika hurried to catch him before he left her there alone.  “It’s not safe for you here, Malika.  You must be removed from this cabin.”

“What?  Where will I go?”  She knew there were no empty cabins.  The reservation was in dire need of housing along with everything else.  “Where am I supposed to go?”

Kevin knew he shouldn’t do it, but it was the only way.  “My place.  Come on.  Pack your bags and hurry.”

Malika didn’t really need to pack.  Her things were still in her bags.  All they needed was to be zipped shut.  She stuffed the book into one of them and began dragging them toward the door.

Kevin smiled his devilish smug smile and threw two of the bags easily over his shoulder, tucked one under an arm, and couldn’t help but say, “You can handle one, can’t you?”

“Yes. But tell me why I’m leaving.”

“Soon, Malika, but we have no time for that now.”

They sped away in the jeep and Malika held onto the seat to keep from falling out.  It was a long drive and at the far end of the reservation was what looked like a regular house but one that had been remodeled from an old cabin or something like that.  Malika didn’t know what it was.  It did look better than where she had been staying, at any rate.

Kevin ushered her quickly into the house and to his spare bedroom.  “You will stay here.”  He set her bags on the floor, and Malika sat down on the bed.  There was a handmade quilt on the bed that had been made from pieces of clothing, it appeared, from various family members.  Their names had been stitched on the squares with their dates of birth and in some cases their dates of death.  She smoothed her hands over the intricate stitching.  It was beautiful.  The room was just as beautiful with soft rugs and a closet and a dresser in which to put her things.  She stacked her clothes neatly in the drawers.  Now this was more like it.

“Malika?”

“Yes.”

“Come on out now.”

Why did he have to be so bossy?  She passed by a second bedroom that was obviously Kevin’s.  It looked like a man’s bedroom, but it was much tidier than she would have expected.  The entire house was clean and neat.  The living room was the size of Malika’s old cabin but it was by no means big.  “Have a seat.”

Malika obeyed as if she were a dog.

“You asked what happened back there.  Many of our youths leave to find work in the cities and when they return having found no jobs, they bring with them the means of survival that was learned while away.”

“What was that?”

He smiled at Malika’s wide eyed childlike expression and Malika wanted to slap him.  “Have you heard of gangs, my little paleface?”

“Of course.  I’m not a child.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.  Anyway, what our young people learn is gang culture.  It is the only means of survival that was afforded to them out there.  With very few skills and a sketchy education, they did what they had to do to survive.  Do you understand?”

“I think so, but…”

“But what?”

“Aren’t there jobs, I mean, like anything, something?”  Malika tried to soften her words.  Getting Kevin angry might get her kicked out of the only place she had left to stay.

“No, Malika, there is not…not for us.  The border towns love to take our money, most of which comes from federal aid, but they want us to leave as soon as possible.”

“But why doesn’t the money come back to the reservation?  Why are the stores built just off the reservation?”

“The stores are built for our money, not for us.  The money goes to the company and the tax revenue goes to the state, but none of it comes back to us.”  Kevin’s direct stare made Malika uncomfortable.  She hadn’t meant to upset him.  All she wanted was to understand things, and more importantly, she wanted to understand him.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

Kevin didn’t know how he felt about the woman with eyes as blue as the summer sky, but he knew he felt something.  Perhaps he felt protective of the naïve little paleface.  “I’ll show you the kitchen.”

Malika followed the tall broad man to a kitchen with modern appliances.  “This is nice, Kevin.”

“All I ask is that you keep it clean,” he said sternly.

On the other side of the kitchen was a door that looked so out of place that Malika had to ask, “What’s in there?”

“I added a room this past summer.  I didn’t feel it right to continue using my grandmother’s place.  She has done so much for me.”  He opened the door and Malika entered what she thought must be heaven.  “Wow!”

“Go on in and look around.”  Kevin was proud of the room he had built.  It was the size of a bedroom, with a large bathtub in the middle of it.  A sink and a toilet were in one corner, and a shower in another.

“You did this yourself?”

“We are very self sufficient, unlike some.”

Malika ignored the snide comment, if it was meant to be snide.  She had not had a bath for days and in her eyes the tub sparkled like the crystal chandelier in her mother’s dining room.  Kevin motioned her back into the kitchen, closing the door to Malika’s paradise.

“Hungry?”

Malika nodded.

He pulled something out of the oven that smelled good but unlike anything Malika had ever eaten.  He set two plates on the table and handed his pale skinned guest the silverware.  Everything she ate that night was delicious and she had to force herself to stop eating.

“We will take turns cooking and cleaning up.”

Malika had no problem with that.  She washed the few dishes in silence and then retreated to her bedroom, passing Kevin sitting in the living room on the way.  She didn’t know what to say to him…ever.  Whenever she dared to speak to him, it seemed she chose the wrong words.  She took out the book she had been reading and made herself comfortable on the bed.  She hoped that she could one day visit the town of Wounded Knee.  It was believed that the bones and heart of Crazy Horse, the fearless Sioux chief, were buried there along Wounded Knee Creek.  It was the same area where the Seventh Cavalry had massacred more than three hundred Sioux as they were being forced to relocate to the Pine Ridge Reservation.  They had been doing nothing other than what they had been told to do and yet they were killed anyway.

Those who had survived and relocated to Pine Ridge were living worse than anyone Malika had known or read about.  The Pine Ridge Reservation was like a Third World country with mortality rates as high as a developing nation, widespread alcohol abuse, and far too many suicides at very young ages.  Kevin had mentioned some of that when he was reprimanding her or whatever it was he had been doing.  Still, teen suicide was something that hit too close to home for Malika.  She had lost classmates in high school as well as in college.  Maybe Lauren was like all of the other teachers who had come to the reservation from the outside world.  They were counting the days until they could leave and return to civilization.  Was that one of the reasons Kevin was so mean to her?  The government was willing to waive her student loan debt in exchange for coming here, but the government was unwilling to do a thing to help the Sioux who were stuck here.

Malika was staring off into space, lost in her thoughts, and didn’t notice Kevin standing in the doorway.  His arms were crossed and he was staring at the book in her hands.  He started toward her and Malika was immediately knocked back to the present.

“Where did you get that?”

“This book?”

“Yes, that book, where did you get it?”  He stripped it from her hands and tucked it under his arm.

“I just wanted to read it.”

“Why?”

“It seemed interesting.”

“Where did you get it…at the school?”

“It was tucked along the cushion of the chair in the cabin.”

“Grandmother’s cabin?”

Malika nodded.

Kevin started to walk away, but Malika jumped up and ran after him.  She tried as best she could to wrap her arms around him from behind and get the book away from him.  The broadness of his shoulders made it nearly impossible, but it did stop him.

“What are you doing?”

“I want to read it, Kevin, and I want to know why you are being the way you are with me.”

“And how is that?”

“You are mean!”

He turned around and grabbed both of her wrists with one hand.  “I am being mean to you?”

“Yes.”

“I think you are mistaken.  It is your people who have been mean.”

“But I wasn’t alive when all of that happened.  That’s why I want to read about it.”

Kevin shoved the book at her and let go of her wrists.  He stared into her big blue eyes the same way he had during their last blowup, but Malika was determined to stare him down this time.  She could see her reflection in his deep brown eyes and she continued to stare until her neck began to hurt from bending backward.  The man was tall and if he were not so mean to her, she could be tempted to find him attractive.  But not now.  She could hardly stand the sight of him.

“Thanks,” she said, and turned to retreat to the bed when Kevin’s hand wrapped around her upper arm.

“What are you doing?”

“How long do you plan to stay here?”

“You said my cabin wasn’t safe.”

“No, how long do you plan to stay here on the reservation…two years, four years?  That’s when your loans will be paid off, isn’t it?  Wasn’t that the deal you made?”

A soft “yes” left Malika’s lips and she felt ashamed.  He must think I’m a horrible person.  “But I didn’t know.”

“Go read the book.  Maybe you can learn something other than where to find the latest designer blouse.”  He took a part of the sleeve of her blouse and rubbed it back and forth between his fingers, that smirky grin coming to his lips once again.

“I plan to.”  Malika turned away from him.  She hated this mood of his.  She wanted more than anything to take a bath but she didn’t want to confront Kevin again tonight.  He would probably accuse her of taking the finest thing in the house, the best thing he had to offer.  She set her alarm for six instead of seven, hoping to sneak past Kevin’s room and try out the big bathtub before going back to the school.  And how was she to get to school from here, anyway?  Her dependence upon Kevin was growing and she hated it.

When the alarm sounded at six sharp, Malika was sound asleep.  She didn’t hear the obnoxious ding of the wind-up clock although it was only a few steps away.  Kevin heard it, and he listened to the noisy thing for a solid ten minutes before storming into Malika’s room and shutting it off.  He purposely slapped the dresser with his hand.

“What is it?  Where are we?”

Malika’s chestnut brown hair was in her eyes and her white camisole top was giving Kevin quite the view of her breasts.  Any moment he expected the nipples to make their debut over the top of the low cut satiny material.  She had kicked the covers off during the night and the dark place covered with the tiniest bikini bottoms that Kevin had ever seen was more than enticing.  He wouldn’t allow himself to become involved with this woman, no mattered what it took.  One day he would marry a Lakota woman, but a white woman, descendant of those who betrayed his people, he would never love.

Malika brushed the hair from her eyes and focused on the gorgeous body that had entered her room.  The man was naked except for a loin cloth of some sort that covered only the things that needed covering, and it didn’t do a very good job of it.  His legs were solid and if he turned just a little bit she could get a really good look at everything.

“When were you planning to turn this thing off?”

“I didn’t hear it.  Did my alarm go off?”  Malika had never been very coherent when she first woke up, and Kevin’s obvious delight in her lack of lucidity wasn’t helping matters.

“For ten minutes I listened to this.  Why was it set for six, anyway?”

“I…I didn’t want to be late.  The school is a long way from here.”

“Do you think I would allow you to walk alone across the reservation?”

“I don’t know…maybe.”  Malika had no idea what to expect from this man.

“I would never do that.”

He walked away, and Malika nearly gasped at the firmness of his butt.  It barely moved when he walked and she wanted to touch it, squeeze it, and pull the man back into the room and into her bed.  The sexy man would be wild in bed.  He would be a real man and the kind of man that Malika needed.  She closed her eyes and tried to get the image of the two of them together out of her mind.  She grabbed her bath items and yawned as she left her room.  She passed by the door to Kevin’s room and glanced quickly and then willed her feet to move.  He was lying on the bed, his legs apart with the loin cloth between them.  A slight smile had been on his face, as if he were expecting Malika to look.

Closing the door to the bathroom, Malika set her things down, pulled out a towel and washcloth, and began to fill the luxurious looking tub.  The water had a forceful stream and it was hot.  Never had Malika been so thrilled to see running water.  But how was the man getting something so delightful when she had not?  As she sunk down in the tub, she didn’t care.  This was paradise to her and she planned to enjoy it.  When she was drying off, she heard Kevin in the kitchen.  Damn.  Why did he build a bathroom off of the kitchen?  She put on her panties and an oversized t-shirt she had borrowed from one of the dresser drawers, hoping to make it back to her bedroom before Kevin noticed, and slowly opened the door.  The shirt was huge on her and went nearly to her knees, the wide collar slipping off of her shoulders, and the handsome Sioux laughed when he saw her.  There was no longer a smirky grin on his face.  He was laughing genuinely.  Still, Malika didn’t quite know how she was to interpret his laughter and so she simply smiled.

“Hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.  Borrow, or take, whatever you like.  We are quite accustomed to having our things, our lives, stripped from our hands.”