White & Black (18 page)

“Paul… no….really…” She wasn’t keeping him hanging on. Not now Dev was in her life. It wasn’t fair.

He launched himself at her, kissing her hard and holding her head to him. First she struggled against him, then let it go. This would be the last time she would see him. She kissed him back a little, and wound her arms around his neck…” It was just a little kiss goodbye, because this really was her final goodbye, she couldn’t see him again, ever. He sunk deep into her and pulled her to him rubbing his hands wildly up and down her back… they didn’t see or hear the door being fully opened behind them.

Dev stood there speechless for a few seconds. Ella was having a very heated passionate kiss with some guy right in front of him on her doorstep. Despite his shock, he remembered him from before. From Liquid One.

“Ells what are you doing…?” He whispered in a shocked voice…

They broke away in surprise. Ella was horrified. Oh no, no, no…..!

“Dev, what are you doing here so early? I didn’t see your car?”

“No you fucking didn’t… because I bought my bike over… see…” He pointed to where his bike was parked, partly hidden between her truck and the large hedge next to it.

“Look, this isn’t what you think Dev… We were just saying goodbye, weren’t we Paul?” She beseeched him desperately with her eyes.

Dev and Paul eyed each other in a hostile fashion.

“Yeah, something like that… I think I’d better go Ells. Speak to you sometime okay?” Well that was more than bloody awkward, Paul thought to himself. She had apparently forgotten to tell him she was screwing that Destroyer guy. He didn’t like to think what he might do to him in a rage. He was going right now.

She watched as Paul walked away down the driveway and got in his car. The atmosphere between them was icily intense as she turned to face Dev.

“Who the fuck is that Ella?” He finally managed to ask in a choked voice.

“It’s Paul. He’s my friend… an old friend…” She started to get upset.

“He looked a lot more than that to me.” He was so completely choked he could hardly breathe.

“Well maybe he was. Past tense.” This was going to end badly, she could sense it. Her eyes filled up.

“It looked like he still is now.” He’d keep seeing them over and over in his mind forever.

“No…. He was just saying goodbye.” Oh God… she should never have let him do it! It had meant so little… in fact nothing… nothing at all.

“You seem very friendly with your male friends Ella. Got any more I don’t know about?”

“No, he’s the only one.”

“Is he one of your six?”

“Yes”

“Do you still want him?”

“No of course not”

“Then why were you kissing him like that?”

“I don’t know. It started as a kiss on the cheek. He did it Dev…”

“It looked like you were both doing it to me. And why were you seeing an ex boyfriend…
oh sorry
… let me rephrase that… ‘ex friend’ who you just happened to fuck once twice or however many times… now you are with me, Ells?”

“To say sorry, goodbye, that’s it, finished… okay!”

“No Ella, none of it is okay. How long has this been going on…? In fact
when
has it been going on…? Why couldn’t you have said goodbye on the goddamned phone…? I don’t understand you at all. Fuck, I don’t know what to think in fact…”

“Dev no… please…”

He brushed past her and over to his bike. He reversed it down the drive and rode away fast down the street leaving her sobbing on the floor on her front doorstep. She could hear her dad calling to her from the living room.

“Ells… is that you l..l..l..love? Where’s Dev g..g..g..gone?”

“Just a minute dad” she sobbed.

She picked her cellphone out of her purse and through her tears she managed to tap out a message.

“I love only you. I dont love him. Never did. Never will.”

She made her way inside to her dad. She kept looking at her cell all night willing him to answer until she fell into an exhausted sleep in the early hours. He never replied.

***

Dev made his way home in a mixture of acute emotional distress and rage. He didn’t know how he managed to arrive home in one piece. He hadn’t been riding his bike at all safely, almost deliberately. He hadn’t cared what happened to him…. And he just wanted to die right now he felt so hurt.

He let himself in his apartment and closed the door, leaning back against it as the tears started to flow. He wiped them away on his hand and checked himself taking a deep breath. He went into the kitchen and opened the cooler, taking out the bottle of red wine he’d bought for her. He unscrewed the lid and drank a large gulp straight down.

He made his way into his bedroom, kicking off his boots and lying on his bed propped up on the pillows. He took another long gulp from the bottle. The alcohol rushed almost immediately to his head. Now he knew why his dad drank after his mom left. This took the pain away.

He swigged down the whole bottle in two minutes and his head swam all over the place and a fuzziness had descended all over his body making him feel weak and high at the same time.

He had never had more than one drink at a time ever, probably on less than a dozen occasions in his entire life. A whole bottle of wine amounted to an overdose… it was enough to make him pass out and thank God for that.

In between dulled but still extremely painful thoughts of Ella kissing her friend, his mind turned to his dad, as the alcohol seeped into his brain. His weak alcoholic father. He went off into a poetic world that alcohol can sometimes induce. His alcoholic dad had been like a tornado, roaring his way through their lives, breaking their hearts. He had killed their relationship through his drinking… It hadn’t all been his mom’s fault. His dad could have made a good home for them without her. But he had chosen not to.

Very soon he stopped thinking his painful thoughts of Ella and his dad and mom and slipped into an alcohol induced painless and senseless sleep. He’d pay for his bottle of red tomorrow, but right now this was just what he needed.

Chapter 28

Ella arrived at work the next day in a dreadful state. How on earth could she face him, work in his ring or even work at all. She could hardly think straight. She felt sick to her stomach. He was supposed to be fighting tonight. Would he even turn up?

She had arrived a half hour early and sat in dressing on her own with Kim in a quiet sick mood.

“What’s up sweetie?” Kim asked her in a concerned tone. “Not had a row with Mr Divine have you?”

That was enough to push her over the edge and she started to tear up fast.

“Yes I have… and it was so dreadful Kim. He caught me saying goodbye to an old boyfriend on my doorstep. A real big goodbye. He’ll never talk to me again. I know it.” She sniffled and snuffled trying not to cry.

“Hey there… don’t fret. We’ll make you look all beautiful and he won’t be able to resist you…”

“I don’t think the sight of me in a pretty dress is going to cut it Kim… it’s really serious…”

“C’mon honey, let’s get you prettied up. It’ll lift your mood. This is even better than the dark angel. Hey, cheer up… please. Just a little. For me?”

She allowed herself to be dressed early and her mood did lift a little. She had to admit Kim was a master of angel design. Her white heart shaped neckline dress did wonders for her figure. She had never looked more hourglass in her life. She gazed at the pretty fabric with its pink halo-heart logos and wished she felt more in the mood for all this. Kim started to curl a few parts of her hair with the curling tongs creating a wonderful effect and then made up her face with a pink doll like look. It was all truly beautiful. She could have cried, for a number of reasons, but obviously couldn’t or Kim would go mad if his creation was ruined. Then the other girls started to arrive cooing over his latest dress and the evening’s work began as usual.

She made her way out to look at the boards to see where she was. Of course she had to be in his ring. That was just par for the course… her painful angelic fate.

She made her way down to Arena 1 with Sara and a new girl, Janice and found it was already quite full of spectators. Tony was running around like mad as apparently the TV crew needed quite a lot of lighting changes made because the computer systems had reset everything to default. She sat down to wait on a spare seat not feeling very sociable at all. She should really be up there doing mingle duty and helping out.

All too soon the arena was full, lights were set up correctly and the two contestants made their way through the entryway. She stood up and took up position to the side of the door with Sara. He didn’t even look her way as he passed through. Her heart was hammering with emotional and nervous tension. She was going to have to do all the running to get him back and she really wasn’t sure where to start.

The fight began and she performed her walks professionally and beautifully. She was careful not to look his way in case she upset him. Now wasn’t the time. She watched sadly as he was beaten very easily in the fifth round. His heart wasn’t in it and he actually didn’t look that well. Whether that was down to lack of sleep, what was going on with her or something else she didn’t know.

He left the cage ignoring her and stormed off out the entrance towards the corridor. This was her chance.

She ran after him…

“Dev… please… stop for a minute.”

He ignored her and kept walking. She ran up to him and grabbed his arm but he shook it away.

“Leave me alone. It’s over.” He couldn’t even bear her to touch him. He kept seeing them together in his mind.

“No it isn’t. You know it isn’t. It’s only just started.”

“I can’t believe I trusted you. I gave you all of me.”

“I gave you all of me too.”

“Did you? Well I don’t know about that. It seems you kept something back for him”

“No I didn’t. I told you it’s finished. It never really started. He means nothing to me.”

“I don’t trust you anymore Ella.” His soft brown eyes searched hers.

“Look Dev… I am going to do something now. I am only ever going to do this once in my life and it’s going to be hard for me. If you turn me down after this, then that’s it… it really is over.” She dropped to the floor, wrapped her arms around his legs and kissed his bare feet. She looked up at him “So, that’s how much I am willing to humiliate myself for you. Can you see how much I love you now… or not? Tell me…”

She didn’t care that people were walking past them and looking at them curiously. She needed him to understand just how serious she was.

He crossed his arms and looked down at her.

“Get off the floor Ella, you really are showing yourself up” He said with a cold hard tone and an icy glare.

She stood up in horrified distress. “No, no, you can’t mean it ….” She ran away, down the corridor with tears beginning to stream down her face… she was going to run forever, anywhere… she wanted to die if she couldn’t be with him. No one had ever meant so much. She needed him in her life like nothing else. She ran out the back door and across the lot in a blinding veil of tears. She had almost reached the road when a strong pair of arms caught hold of her and swung her round to face him.

“I’m so sorry baby. You really hurt me. I wanted to hurt you more.” He was beside himself for doing it to her. His eyes were misting up badly… He clutched her to him tightly and held back the hot stinging tears that were threatening to fall. He kissed her softly at first and she kissed him back passionately. He smoothed her beautiful hair and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. They gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment. She wound her arms tightly around his neck and pressed her warm damp cheek against his.

“Devy… I love you. Don’t
ever
leave me. I want you and need you so much.” She whispered through her sobs…

His mind couldn’t process it to start with. This was weird. They were in his dream somehow. They weren’t in the dark… It was quite light under the street lights in fact… but those were the exact words he had spoken in the dream, the same series of small loving actions preceding them. He gave her the answer she needed from the bottom of his joyful heart…

“Ella no, I won’t ever leave you… how could I? I love you more than life itself.” He wasn’t going to disappear on her. Not ever.

Then he couldn’t stop himself and really did start to cry. Fuck… He was crying in a public place and didn’t even care! His hard as nails fighter act was destroyed left right and center… what a fucked up loved up mess he was.

They both stood moulded together at the end of the lot, by the side of the road… he was wearing nothing but a small pair of black shorts and was barefoot… She was wearing a white very tiny dress…

They were hugging and crying and kissing like crazy, frantically making up.

“Ells… maybe we should go back inside… I need to get some clothes on” He managed to stop hugging and kissing her for a moment and was finally able to speak coherently.

They turned and walked back to the Arena with their arms around each other, stopping for a long kiss now and then.

“I’m so sorry you lost your fight…”

“Fuck the fight…
I nearly lost you…”

They had another hot kiss.

“I’d love to go straight home with you tonight Dev, but you know we need to go to my house and sort my dad out first. After that we can go to yours for hours and hours… as long as I get home before the sun comes up”

“I can’t wait for your new carer to start work Ells. I hate this Cinderella act”

“Well it’s not quite Cinderella is it?… I’m always with you way past midnight and there’s lots of bad things I like to do with you. I don’t think Cinderella would have been up for that with her Prince.”

“Maybe she was a hot Cinderella inside… lots of naked glass slipper dancing and steamy pumpkin carriage sex going on till the early hours”

“Devlin Black! You are
never
telling our children any fairy tales… not now I know what’s lurking in your mind …”

“Who said anything about children…?”

“I did.. just now”

“Oh yeah… well hold that thought for a year or three, I have a lot of unfinished business with you”