Whispers of Home (13 page)

“You can come get me from school?”

“I have to talk to the school this morning,” Jaron said to Travis. “I was going to have you added to the emergency contacts and pick up lists. I mean, if it’s okay with you. You don’t have to or anything. I just thought that maybe just in case something was to come up. An emergency or something. And I don’t have a car so...”

Travis squeezed his hand. “Of course, I want you too. I want to be there for Bobby.”

They pulled up into Gloria’s driveway. Jaron unlocked the door to the house, letting Bobby in before entering. Travis brought up the rear.

“We’ll be right back,” Jaron said, going up on his tiptoes, giving Travis a quick peck on the lips before leading Bobby through the house. Travis pulled out a kitchen chair and waited.

Bobby came bouncing out a few minutes later with fresh clothes on. It seems Jaron may have stuck him in the shower because the kid’s hair was wet and he smelled like men’s shower gel. Bobby climbed into his lap, stuck his thumb into his mouth, and leaned his head against Travis’ chest.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Bobby said around the thumb in his mouth.

“Um-hmm.”

“I don’t want to go to school. I don’t like it there.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I miss daddy when I’m there.”

“Yeah, I can understand that. I bet your daddy misses you too. He wants you to get smart, though, and you have to go to school for that.”

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Bobby said looking up at him.

“I’ll miss you too, buddy.” Travis felt like the Grinch, making the kid go to school now. God, how does Jaron tell this kid no?

“Maybe I can stay with you today. Then we won’t miss each other.”

Well shit. “Umm. Maybe we can talk your dad into it.”

“You are going to school, Bobby McAllister. And that, is that. I don’t want to hear another word about it.” Jaron came into the room carrying a huge duffle bag. “And you,” he said as his eyes narrowed at Travis.

“Hey, I don’t know how you can say no to the kid. Dear God, look at him. He looks like an angel.” Travis pointed at Bobby laying his head on his chest, sucking his thumb and once again, looking like someone just kicked his puppy.

“I don’t even know what to say to you right now. Let’s go. We have school and work to get too.” Jaron marched out of the house and was sitting in the truck by the time Travis and Bobby came out. It’s a good thing Travis had enough forethought to lock the door after him.

* * * *

“Bobby and I can go for ice cream while you talk to your mom,” Travis said, not taking his eyes off the road as he drove.

Jaron grunted a response. He was a little nervous about the conversation he needed to have with Gloria. And after their argument two nights ago, he hadn’t talked to her, so he wasn’t sure where they stood. She may very well flip her gourd when Jaron told her he was going to move into Travis’ house. It was a big step for him to take, but he was ready for it. He had been on his own for far too long for him to feel comfortable relying on someone else for help and this move gave him the independence he needed right now.

“You don’t have to move if it makes you uncomfortable.” Jaron looked at Travis. The other man’s jaw clenched.

“Do you want me too?” Things with Travis were progressing to fast, but even acknowledging this fact still didn’t change anything for Jaron. Maybe Travis was trying to say he needed to slow down.

“Yes. I like the idea of you so close.”

“In theory, maybe.”

“In reality.”

“Okay. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“What do you mean?”

Jaron returned his gaze out the window. “I’m just being overly negative.”

They pulled up in Gloria’s driveway before he could elaborate. Jaron leaned over the seat, giving Travis a peck on the cheek. Travis grabbed his chin and gave him a proper kiss. Jaron smiled into the kiss.

“Don’t let him talk you into anything,” Jaron said to Travis, nodding his head toward Bobby, who had fallen asleep in the backseat almost the minute they had the car running.

“Hey, it’s not my fault the kids so flippin’ cute.”

“It’s like talking to a wall.” Jaron shook his head, but he smiled when he exited the truck. He waved as he turned the front doorknob. “Mom,” he yelled out.

“I’m right here. Why are you yelling?” Jaron looked over at the couch when he heard the sound of her voice so close.

“Oh. Sorry.” He closed the door behind him. He sat next to her on the couch, turning to face her.

He watched her facial expressions for the longest time. She was angry. At what, Jaron couldn’t say but the anger was clear on her face. Great, now he had to tell her he was moving.

“If you tell me you’re leaving Pickleville again I will be very angry, Jaron McAllister.”

“No, I’m just moving closer to my job.”

The relief on her face was visible. “Oh, thank God.” What he thought was anger was really fear. Anger was a secondary emotion, covering up all his mother’s real feelings. She used the emotion a lot and Jaron was just starting to realize this about her.

“I’m sorry I scared you mom.” For the first time in his existence his mother initiated a hug.

She pulled away from him and said, “So tell me your news then.”

“Well, Travis offered to let me rent his house, which is just a small walk from the big house. So I’m moving Bobby and I there.”

“What if you break it off with him? Then you’re moving Bobby back home again.”

“Mom.” Her lack of faith in his parenting skills was disappointing. Jaron didn’t doubt that he put Bobby first in every decision he made. He just wished she would come to see that.

“Look, I’m just trying to be the voice of reason for you. I just want you to think of all the angles before you make a big decision like this.”

“I have thought of that.” Maybe if he explained his thought process she would see he had everything covered. “I want to look online for a renter’s agreement or something. He’s said I could pay him if it makes me feel better and it does. I’m going to insist he set a monthly rate that is fair to him. If I don’t he’ll set it for ten dollars a month or something.”

She let out a sigh, as if resigning herself to the inevitable. “That sounds...reasonable. You’re a good father and I’m proud of you.”

Jaron couldn’t help the tears that came. He waited his whole life to hear her say something even close to something positive. She was the only parent he had and he had always just wanted to be the man she wanted him to be. Jaron had always fallen short and at some point in his life had stopped trying to please her. Moving away all those years ago was a good decision for him to make. It gave him the time to figure out he had to do things to please himself, not his mother or anyone else. Coming home when he did, though, was also the best thing he had ever done for himself. He was finding the love and acceptance he had always longed for in a place he always thought wouldn’t give it to him.

He gave her a watery smile and hugged her.

“I want to see my grandson at least once a week. Overnight visits. None of this one day crap. Also, you and I have to go to lunch or something every once in a while. And I want a phone call a couple times a week.”

Jaron laughed. “I’m not moving to the moon, mom.”

“I have to make my demands now while you’re agreeable.”

“Well, would you come to dinner tomorrow night then?”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

The next night, after dinner, he spent the time alone. His mother’s visit was wonderful. She ended up taking Bobby with her, so it was just Jaron and the dog, who sat on his lap. This was the first time he had been by himself in a long time. Having a child wasn’t conducive to having too much alone time, so the feeling was foreign.

The peace and silence should have been welcome. Honestly, ever since his mom said she would be taking Bobby overnight once a week he was looking forward to it. But the anticipation of it far outweighed the reality. Now he was bored and had no idea what to do with himself.

He hadn’t seen or heard from Travis all day, and missed him tremendously. He grabbed his phone off the side table, deciding to text Travis.
I miss you.

A full ten minutes went by before Jaron got a response.
I miss you too, baby. Wish I could b home with u.

Even though Jaron had Travis sign a lease for the house yesterday, Travis still referred to this home as theirs. Jaron supposed it was, after all, everything in the house belonged to Travis, including most of the clothes. Travis had also spent the last two nights in the house, snuggling up to Jaron. Jaron loved it and wasn’t about to complain.

Can I come see you?
Jaron wasn’t above begging.

I’m in the horse barn. 2nd stall on the right.

Jaron didn’t waste time getting to the barn. He found a flashlight in the laundry room and grabbed it off the shelf. Slipping into his shoes, he made his way through the dark. The moon was high and almost full, so it provided enough light. Jaron shut off the flashlight and made his way along the wide path. The moonlight reflected off the blades of grass that framed the path. Jaron walked on the dirt in between.

The light on the barn illuminated the area around it. There were several outbuildings on the property and the horse barn was the second largest, the first being the barn all the cattle were in.

Jaron entered the barn, standing just inside for a moment, trying to get his bearings. “Travis?” he said, tentatively.

“Over here, baby,” came a reply from not too far away.

Jaron found Travis just where he said he would be in his text, inside the second stall on the right. He sat in the corner of the stall on pine shavings. A water bucket hanging from the stall wall obscured part of his face. Jaron noticed another bucket on the opposite wall. A horse lay on its side, its brown stomach moving up and down as it breathed. Travis’ hand lay loosely on one of its back hooves.

“Is she okay?” Jaron whispered.

“It’s a he. His name is Trick. He’s dying.” Jaron had never heard Travis so forlorn before.

“Can I come in there with you?”

“Sure.”

Jaron slid the lock mechanism back and opened the stall door slowly. He got a good look at Travis’ face then and his red rimmed eyes. Jaron shut the door behind him, reaching through the stall bars to slide the lock into place. Jaron wasn’t sure of his welcome here. Travis must have sensed his hesitation because he held out a hand to him, which Jaron readily took. Jaron let himself be guided to Travis’ lap, where Travis held him as if he was the only lifeline he had left. Jaron rested his cheek against Travis,’ his hat moving up off his head ever so slightly. Jaron helped the hat off the rest of the way, placing it beside them on the wood chip bedding. Jaron then dug his fingers in the thickness of Travis’ hair, doing his best to cocoon himself around Travis.

“Thanks for coming, baby.”

“I would have come sooner had I known.”

“You were having dinner with your mom. I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”

Jaron lifted just enough to look into Travis’ eyes. “I want to be here for you if you need me.” He settled back into place. “What’s wrong with him?” Jaron asked, referring to the horse breathing heavily in the stall next to them.

“He’s just old. It’s his time.”

“He’s a good friend to you.”

“Yeah. One of my best friends. He’s the first horse I ever rode. I think I was four or something when my dad brought him home for me. My dad spent a good few months training him so that he was ready for a beginner rider. Even as young as I was, I remember Dad in the ring outside lunging him. Dad was so patient I think some of that spilled over into this horse because Trick was always so great with kids.” Jaron could feel Travis smile against his cheek. “The past couple years Trick has been slowing down. Now he’s like this. The vet says there’s nothing she could do for him anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” Jaron’s arms tightened just a little bit more around Travis and he tried to get closer to the man.

“I wanted to spend tonight with him. I have to go see a guy about cattle and will be gone for a few days. I want to reschedule but it means losing money if I do.”

Jaron tensed. “When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. I’ll leave as late as I can.”

Jaron would not be a clingy mess. Travis didn’t need an overly clingy boyfriend on top of everything else he was dealing with. Jaron forced his body to relax again. “I’ll stay with him tomorrow. I have the day off and Bobby’s with my mom. So I can stay all day with him.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. No one should die alone.”

“Thank you, baby.” Travis’s lips pressed to his temple, then moved down to press to his cheek. “Will you miss me?”

“Yes.” Jaron wouldn’t tell him that the separation would be painful. He could already feel the tightening in his chest starting just thinking about it. He instinctively knew the physical ache would grow with each day. To say that he wasn’t looking forward to being parted was an understatement.

Five hours after Travis left, Trick stopped breathing. Jaron had been petting the horse’s belly when his breathing changed. He would stop breathing for long seconds and then start up again. This was repeated until those seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to an hour. He had never experienced a life going from living to death before. He expected the life to go out of the horse like a boom. Instead it was a slow trickle, like drips from a water faucet until the tub was full. Besides seeing Tracy’s body, this was the only other time death had touched him. Once Jaron realized that was it, he didn’t know what to do. He sat in the horse’s stall a good hour after that until he saw someone pass by the stall.

He stood up. “Hey,” he said to the man passing. The man turned, revealing that he was probably still a boy more than a man. “He...he died. Just now.” Jaron’s uncertainty must have come through his voice.

“I’ll make sure he gets buried proper,” the man/boy smiled at him.

Jaron stepped out of the stall. “Thanks.”