Whispers in the Dark (43 page)
Read Whispers in the Dark Online
Authors: Maya Banks
CHAPTER 45
HE
wasn’t shooting worth a damn. He was all over his target. He was ready to say to hell with it all and go back to Shea.
“Glad we aren’t depending on you for cover,” Garrett grumbled beside him. “We’d all get our asses shot up.”
Garrett was the only one who’d hung around after Nathan started shooting. The rest of his brothers had beaten a hasty retreat and were a safe distance away.
“I can’t do this,” Nathan said in disgust. “My head’s not in it. Furthermore I don’t want my head to be in it right now. I just want…” He broke off and squeezed his fingers into a fist in frustration.
Garrett put his hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “I know, man. I know. You’ll get there.”
“I hope to hell you’re right. I feel so damn helpless. I feel like there’s something I should be able to do to help her. To make her not so afraid. To help her forget the nightmare she’s protecting herself from.”
“She’s been through a lot,” Garrett said quietly. “But she’s strong. She’s a fighter. Right now she’s just doing what she has to do to survive and cope. Think about all you did to survive the hell you endured. You’re still dealing with it. And you will. Just like she will. Only you’ll do it together.”
“Is that what you and Sarah do? Deal with it?”
“Every damn day,” Garrett said in a somber voice. “Some days are better than others. But the good ones? Are so damn sweet that they more than make up for the bad ones.”
Nathan took off the safety glasses and then pulled the earplugs he’d draped around his neck and pocketed both. It was pointless to continue wasting ammo.
He nodded in Swanny’s direction. “You and Sam thinking of taking him on?”
Garrett followed Nathan’s gaze to where Swanny was involved in a push-up contest with Ethan. “Maybe. If he’s interested. You know Van’s putting together a team. The plan was always for it to include you and Joe. There’s no hurry. You, Joe, even Swanny have a lot to sort out before you can be cut loose. We have time.”
Sam and Joe strode toward Nathan and Garrett, broad grins covering their faces. Garrett stared suspiciously at them, but they ignored him and focused on Nathan.
“Take a look, Nathan,” Joe said, pointing behind him.
Nathan swiveled, scanning the terrain for what Joe was trying to draw his attention to. Then he froze and he forgot to breathe. Or maybe he just couldn’t.
Shea was walking toward him, slowly, her steps a little unsure. But it was her. And she was looking right at him.
He stared in wonder, his gut so knotted up that he couldn’t even swallow. He’d never seen such a beautiful sight in his entire life. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to throw up a fist and let out a triumphant yell.
“Well, what the hell are you waiting for?” Garrett asked, his grin as big as his brothers’. “Go get her!”
Nathan started out with a stagger. As he got his feet under him and his knees stopped shaking, he increased his pace until he was running. As fast and as hard as he could, his only thought to get to her.
She stopped when she saw him coming, and then her smile lit up the entire world. His world. It hit him right where he lived and nearly took him to his knees.
When he finally reached her, he gathered her up in his arms and hugged her tightly against him and then spun round and round as she laughed her delight.
She threw back her head, spread her arms out as he spun them both. Her laughter rang out, the sound so beautiful and pure that no words could describe it.
Finally he stopped and let her slide down his body until their noses were nearly touching.
“I love you,” he said hoarsely. “Oh God, I love you so damn much, Shea. Welcome home, baby. Welcome home.”
She threw her arms around him and hugged him so fiercely that she had a stranglehold around his neck. “I love you too,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry I worried you.”
He pulled away and put a finger to her lips. “Shhh. You’ve come back to me. That’s all that matters.”
He kissed her and she tasted so sweet, felt so soft and warm and so very precious in his arms.
“I want a life with you, Nathan. I’ve been so very afraid. I’m still afraid. I didn’t want to involve you or your family. I still don’t know what the future holds, but I realized that whatever the future does bring, I want to face it with you. I want your family to be my family. I love them already.”
He smiled and gently lowered her to the ground, but he didn’t let go of her. He kept her close, touching him, pressed against him. His hands were everywhere, reassuring himself that she was here, with him, her beautiful eyes clear and comprehending.
“They already are your family, baby. And they love you too.”
“Can we go see our house?” she whispered. “I never got to see the inside.”
He gathered her in his arms again and just held on, absorbing the feel and the sheer joy that blew over him, wave after wave.
“Yeah,” he choked out. “I think I can arrange a tour. I’m afraid your husband-to-be has been slacking in the building department, but he just happens to have a horde of very capable brothers, not to mention numerous friends, only too willing to help out. I’m betting we could have it done in no time at all.”
She pulled away, her eyes sparkling mischievously as she slid her hand into his. “Are we getting married?”
He cupped her chin and pulled her toward him. “Hell yes, we’re getting married. Today, tomorrow, next year. I don’t care when. Okay, I do, but I’m willing to wait until you’re ready and, more importantly, when you’re feeling better. All I care is that you’re going to live here with me. Always. Together. That you love me half as much as I love you. That’s enough. You’ll always be enough for me, Shea.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes shiny with tears. “You’ve been so patient with me, Nathan. I’ll get there. I’ve been assured by some very special women that it takes time, but that I’ll never be alone. And you know what? You’ll get there too.”
He softened all over. She knew he still fought his demons, that like her, he still battled his fears and anxieties. But yeah, he’d get there. As long as she was with him, he could fucking take on the world.
“We make a pretty messed-up pair, you know that?” he said with a laugh.
“I think we’re perfect for each other,” she said softly. “We have each other to lean on and when we need them? We have family to lean on as well.”
He pulled her into his side as they started toward the house he’d begun building months ago when he’d returned home, a mere shell of the man he’d once been.
Now? He felt reborn. Whole again for the first time in so long. He no longer looked to the future with uncertainty. What he saw filled him with such joy that it overwhelmed him.
A life with a woman who’d saved him from hell. Who’d put him back together when he’d thought he was beyond repair. Love could do amazing things. She was his miracle, and he thanked God every day for sending her to him when his need was so great.
Now he could do the same for her. He’d love her every single day of his life. He’d never take for granted just how precious she was to him, and if it took everything he had, he’d make damn sure she felt safe and loved every single minute of the rest of her life.
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CHAPTER 46
NATHAN
and his brothers looked up as they heard a knock on the outer door to the war room. Nathan sighed. “I’ll get it.”
The others chuckled as he went to let Shea in. She had an access code specifically assigned to her, but she always knocked, unable to get over her hesitancy of just barging into the KGI headquarters.
He opened the door and for a moment drank in the sight of her standing there looking so beautiful and…happy. There was a lightness to her eyes that had been absent for a long time. Her skin held the first bloom of a tan, a testament to how much time she spent outside.
Then he took her hand and pulled her inside. “You have to start using your code, Shea. We gave it to you for a reason.”
“I know. I still feel like I’m intruding, though. Maybe I’ll just knock and then use the code. That way you know I’m coming.”
Donovan chuckled as Nathan and Shea joined the others. “I hate to break it to you, but we knew you were here when you got within twenty yards of the building. Just use the code and come on in.”
“Has there been any word from Rio?” she asked anxiously.
Nathan slid his hand along her back in an up-and-down motion. Donovan’s face softened with regret. “No, honey, I’m afraid not.”
Shea tried to hide her disappointment, but she failed miserably. His brothers all grimaced because they hated to see her sad for any reason. They all went to great lengths to treat her with the utmost care even though she improved greatly with each passing day.
“We do have some further information and we’ve also fielded a request from Resnick. Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll fill you in,” Sam said.
She smiled at Sam and then included the others in her acknowledgment before she went to sit on one of the couches. She perched on the edge and appeared serene, but Nathan could feel her nervousness as well as her deep disappointment—and worry—that Grace hadn’t been found yet.
We’ll find her, baby. We won’t stop until we bring her home to you. I promise.
Her features softened and her eyes glowed. It was like a fist to his gut how she lit up when he spoke to her telepathically. They didn’t often communicate that way in front of his family. Shea still wasn’t entirely comfortable with how well her abilities were received, but she was getting there.
I know you will. I have faith in you and your brothers.
“If you two are finished sending telepathic kissy faces,” Garrett said dryly.
Before, Shea would have likely blushed, ducked her head and felt horribly conspicuous. But she was growing more comfortable with his family all the time, which thrilled Nathan.
She raised her chin and smirked in Garrett’s direction. “I was just telling Nathan that I needed to remember to tell Sarah how many F bombs I overheard you dropping yesterday.”
Garrett sighed while everyone else dissolved into laughter.
Sam grinned and then dropped into the chair across from the couch while Nathan settled beside Shea. The others gradually chose spots to sit, but Swanny hovered in the background. He still hadn’t reached his comfort zone but he was fitting in nicely. He was going home in a few days, but Nathan knew Sam had extended a job offer, and while Swanny had said he wanted time to think about it, Nathan figured he’d go home, settle things, and be back. He hoped so at least. Swanny was adrift. He needed KGI. He needed a purpose just as Nathan had when he’d returned from Afghanistan.
“Resnick asked if you’d be willing to meet him, Shea,” Sam began.
Shea’s mouth dropped open and she automatically inched toward Nathan until she was pressed tightly against his side. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed.
“Is he crazy?” she demanded.
“There’s a lot you don’t know, but know this before we get into all the whys and wherefores. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Period. If you say the word, the man will never set foot in this compound. Understand?” Sam leveled a look, catching her gaze and holding it. “You’re in the driver’s seat. We’ll only do what you want us to do, okay?”
She smiled and nodded.
“Now, he wants to meet you because he was conceived in the same lab where you and Grace were born.”
Shea went completely still, so still that for a moment Nathan worried they’d upset her already.
“Then why?” she whispered. “Why would he do that to me? Why would he allow it? He knows. He has to know what went on there, doesn’t he?”
Nathan kissed her temple and stroked a hand down her hair. But he remained silent so Sam could give her the details as unemotionally as possible. Nathan couldn’t be objective. He still couldn’t even think about Resnick without wanting to kill the bastard. He couldn’t forgive the fact that, if not for Resnick, Shea wouldn’t have been captured a second time.
“He wasn’t the one who handed you over to the people who hurt you. I know it seems that way. He took you from us because he wanted to protect you. It was stupid. But I don’t think he ever meant for you to be harmed. There’s more. He believes there’s a good possibility that he’s your brother.”
This time, Nathan felt her shock roll through him. Their pathway was open and he could feel all the conflicting emotions. Her anger. Sadness. And her confusion.
“He was an experiment too. A failed one, by his account. He doesn’t have special abilities like you and Grace. He’s the one who helped the Petersons when you moved to Oregon. He finally tracked them down after they disappeared with you and Grace years earlier. He funded their efforts and directed them to call on him if help was ever needed. He asked them to tell you and Grace the same but evidently they didn’t trust him or maybe they just didn’t want you to know the truth about their roles in your birth and the fact that they weren’t your biological parents.”
“Does he know who wants Grace and me so badly?”
“He hadn’t given us all the information, but Donovan did a little hacking and we have access to all his files,” Sam said with a satisfied grin.
Shea glanced to Donovan, her eyes wary.
Donovan sent her a reassuring smile. “I don’t want you to worry. Okay? Promise me that.”
“Tell me,” she said softly.
“He spoke of two Russian scientists, so I went in search of information regarding them as well as anything else I could find out about the purpose of the experiments and their intended uses. I was able to track down one of the scientists, who still lives here in the U.S. despite Resnick thinking or at least saying that he’d returned to Russia.”
Shea went still and leaned forward, her eyes narrowed in concentration.
“In the beginning this was solely a military-funded and -backed research subject. Highly classified. Furthermore, there were other successful test subjects besides you and Grace. There were other children born with psychic talents. But once they discovered that they’d been able to produce the ability to heal, the others were discarded, adopted out, dropped from the program.”
“Grace,” Shea whispered. “It was about Grace all along. Why keep me then?”
“Because you have that ability too, Shea,” Donovan said gently. “Yes, it would seem that your abilities differ, but think about what you did for Nathan. Now consider how you and Grace could operate as a team. Remote healing. We talked about this before, remember? You could communicate with and take the pain and suffering from someone. Grace healed Swanny through you. Now think about how the military would use gifts like these. Indestructible soldiers. They get injured on the battlefield and are healed telepathically. They get captured and tortured for information? You take their pain and suffering and shield them from it. They’d be like machines. Never breaking. Imagine it from a rescue perspective. Just as you did for Nathan, you could communicate with the prisoner and lead a rescue team to him. These are talents that, yes, the military would kill for.”
“But you work for the military. All of you. Or at least you did,” she said in bewilderment. “Don’t you still?”
“This is a part of the military that no one ever sees. Not even the enlisted themselves,” Sam said. “
‘Funded by the military’ is a code word for a top-secret project that only a few very high-ranking people even know about. The men and women out there serving aren’t monsters. They’re doing their jobs. Research like this is done for black op groups that don’t officially exist. We’re telling you this because you deserve to know. We aren’t supposed to know all we do, but we’re arming ourselves with knowledge so that if there’s ever a need, we’ll go public far and wide in order to protect you and Grace and any others who are targeted for this kind of research.”
“So there’s nothing we can do? I—we—just have to live with the knowledge and never be certain whether they’ll come after me again?”
“Resnick is very determined to blow this operation from the top down. I don’t entirely trust him anymore. But I also understand where he’s coming from. He’s playing the game just like we have to play the game. If he’s successful in pulling the plug, this will all quietly go away. It’ll be like it never existed.”
“If only it were that easy,” Shea murmured.
Nathan laced his fingers through hers. “You’ll never be alone again, Shea. You’ll never have to live your life on the run. We take a stand here. Together.”
“Hooyah,” Ethan softly called.
“Fuckin’ A,” Garrett said emphatically. “And the first one of you who rats me out to Sarah gets their ass kicked. That includes you, Miss Shea.”
Shea smiled and Nathan nearly folded in relief. She was going to be okay. He felt it.
“Shea?” Sam said.
She turned her attention back to Sam.
“What do you want to do about Resnick? He wants to see you but he’s determined that you feel safe, which is why he wants to do it here, with all of us present. It might be good for you to talk to him. He could probably answer a lot of your questions.”
Slowly she nodded and then took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll see him. Maybe he has information that will help us find Grace.” She hesitated a moment and then looked back up at Sam. “When?”
“Whenever you want. Whenever you’re ready. You just say the word and I’ll make it happen,” Sam said.
“Thank you,” she suddenly blurted out. She turned to look at them all, her eyes glowing softly. “Just thank you. You all have risked so much for me, and now that I’ve met your wives, I know I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to you that would take you away from one of them because of me.”
“You risked everything for our brother,” Joe broke in. “How could we not do the same for you?”
“We should probably stop now, or I’ll get really mushy,” Shea warned.
That brought chuckles from the others, but they all stared at Shea with clear affection in their eyes.
Nathan smiled and pulled her tight against him, dropping a kiss on top of her head.
“That right there is why we’ll risk what we have to for you,” Ethan said as he stared at Nathan. “He’s smiling again. He’s himself again. You did that, Shea. You brought him home.”
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