Whispers (33 page)

“
Twenty thousand dollars.”

My mouth fell open. I could see the same reaction on everyone else’s face.

“
Where did you get so much money?” I asked without thought to the appropriateness of the question.

“
Won most of it. Had some of it.”

The way he said it made me think he was lying. It wasn’t my business, but I suspected that Sawyer acquired that money by means of a bank holdup. Wisely, I kept my opinion to myself. But I wondered if we had more than Aiken Tate, Jake Smith, and a sheriff’s posse to worry about. As if we needed more.

“
Aiken put up what I was short.”

He said the last as he headed for the stairs. We followed him up to a long hallway with doors opening off it. There were six rooms in all and inside each was a made bed with a mattress and a small table. The whole place smelled clean and unused.

Sawyer grinned, exchanging glances with all of us. “Looks like we’re done sleeping on the ground,” he said.

“
You mean we gets to sleep in here?” Chick exclaimed.

“
Hell yes,” he said.

Chick squealed with excitement. “Can we pick which we want? ‘Cuz me’n Athena we want here, if that awright?” she said, pointing to two doors across from each other without consulting Athena first. Sawyer shrugged. Taking that as a yes, Chick skipped in and flopped on her bed. She let out a shout of pure joy. “Like laying on a cloud,” she said.

Meaira pushed through to the next room and spread out on the mattress. Laughing, Honey did the same. Athena approached the door Chick had claimed for her with hesitant steps, as if she expected to be stopped. She looked back and Sawyer gave her a small nod. She eased her bulk onto the bed and broke into a smile that lit the room.

“
This here nice, Captain.”

Sawyer turned and started down the hall. “Which one do you want?” he asked, looking at me as he reached my side.

I know my face turned an awful shade of red. I nodded at the next open door and walked stiffly to it. Sawyer came and leaned against the doorframe, watching me with wolf-eyes as I stopped beside the bed.

“
Aren’t you going to try it?” he asked.

My face grew hotter as I sat down on the edge. The mattress was soft and feather filled. Not hay, not ticking. I smiled and leaned back, more aware of the eyes watching me than the comfort welcoming my body. I turned my head to look at him and our eyes locked for a minute. That look made me glad I was lying down. He made me feel boneless and warmed to the soul.

He pushed away from the door and I thought he would step in. Instead he gave me a knowing smile and walked away. I put my hands over my hot face and tried to slow my heart down, but all I could think of was that look and the promise it held.

It didn’t take long for us to unpack the few possessions we’d carried in the wagon. I had nothing but my daddy’s gun and hunting knife, both of which Sawyer returned to me. As soon as we’d carried the last item inside, there was a knock on the door.

“
Ain’t open,” Sawyer called out without bothering to answer it. We heard the knocker hesitate and then walk away. A few minutes later another knock came. “Still ain’t open,” Sawyer said. And so it went until after dark when the last of them decided that Sawyer meant it and really wasn’t going to open the door that night. I think he would have if there had been any liquor to serve, but the bar was bare. It was hard to believe it had never opened its doors and served a drink before. The men of the town took their thirst and presumably quenched it at Hank’s.

We could hear their hell-raising drifting down the street to the other end from where we were. We’d noticed from our bird’s-eye view that the tents and makeshift houses sprawled away from the saloon, so we were somewhat isolated on our plateau at the end of the street.

Later, after Athena had made us something to eat and the dishes were done, we girls were upstairs laughing and enjoying our new rooms. Sawyer came to find us.

“
I’m going down to the springs,” he said to all of us and none of us at once.

“
Where are they?” I asked, standing in my doorway.

He walked into my room and pointed out the window. The other girls came in too and crowded around. The pools of water were dark in the early night, but the moon was bright and cast a glow on their surfaces.

Chick asked what we were all thinking. “Can we come?”

Sawyer’s nod elicited another round of squeals and giggles from us. We all seemed to be drunk on our good fortune to be staying beneath a solid roof, unmolested by the men at least for the night, and to lay our bodies on a real mattress when we went to sleep. It was beyond anything I thought I’d see again.

Happily we followed Sawyer down and out the kitchen door to the back of the hotel. There were no tents here, no squatters in sight and I was relieved by that.

“
Do you think this is all part of the Diablo’s grounds?” I asked.

“
It could be. Why else aren’t there any tents back here?”

A wooden bridge had been built between the springs and the Diablo, making the short trek easy. As we approached we could see the steam rising off the pools and smell the heavy sulfur that came with it. The planking continued in a sort of deck around the largest of the pools. If we sat on the edge, we could dangle our feet in the water.

It seemed we all thought of it at once and immediately began taking off our shoes. Sawyer reached down and ran his fingers across the surface.

“
I’ll be damned,” he said. “It’s like a bath.”

The word
bath
brought up all of our heads. Chick got her shoes off first and hiked her skirts up so she could put her feet in. “Ah, Lord, that good.”

“
I haven’t had a bath in ages,” Meaira said. “Not a real one.”

She had that hazy look about her that I was beginning to understand went with the laudanum. She gave us all a dreamy smile and then without hesitation, she stripped down bare and slid into the water.

“
Is it deep?” Chick asked. “I cain’t swim good. Athena neither.”

“
No,” Meaira said, and she stood to show them.

That was all the invitation the others needed. They shed their clothes as easily as they had their shoes and jumped in with Meaira. Sawyer watched with interest, I with jealousy. Their sighs of ecstasy filled me with longing. A bath. A hot bath ...

“
Ain’t you comin?” Chick asked, splashing merrily. Her golden-brown body gleamed beneath the murky surface.

Beside me Sawyer sat down and took off his boots and socks. As I watched, he stripped his shirt and his pants. His eyes were on me when he reached for his undergarment. Blushing in the dark, I looked away until I heard him splash into the water. I watched with envy as the women frolicked around Sawyer and each other like sleek seals, wet skin against wet skin until at last my jealousy would not be ignored.

I unbuttoned my blouse and pulled it from the waist of my skirt. I pretended that the dark concealed me, but I knew my skin glowed like pearl in the moonlight. I quickly removed my shirt and my skirt. Dressed only in my chemise, I looked up to find Sawyer watching me from the black waters.

He didn’t look away when I caught him, didn’t pretend to stare at anything but me. I stood for a moment, knowing I couldn’t pull that last garment off with him watching me, but knowing I had no other clothes and I would need these to be dry when I came out. At last I turned my back and stripped the chemise from my shoulders to my waist to the ground. For an instant, I stood naked, wrought with feelings and sensations I’d never known. My breath was coming in shallow gasps that at once hurt and excited me. Before I thought better of it, I turned and ran into the water. The look Sawyer gave me as I skimmed the surface rivaled the steam in its heat.

The girls gathered around me, their skin as slick as the damp heat soaking into my body. They had no modesty, no shame in their nudity and they frolicked like children. Honey swam beneath the surface and in a flash Sawyer went under. He came up laughing, sputtering and launched himself at Honey. The girls screamed with glee and splashed away but the game was on and before I knew it, I was playing too. Our laughter echoed off the thick bank of clouds and seemed as foreign as the hot pool of water in the midst of the desert. We shushed one another in case our voices carried to the tents and men in town, but it felt good to laugh. It felt so very good.

Then Sawyer was there in front of me, low in the water so only his head and shoulders appeared from the surface. I watched him move closer, our eyes level with each other. Our breath joined the rising mist and created a cocoon around us. I was never so aware of my nakedness, of his. He swam closer still, watching me with his unusual eyes, only they seemed darker, like a reflection of the opaque surface of the water. The voices of the others seemed to fade in the mist and it was only me and Sawyer, the shining moon, and a million stars. A light beard covered his cheeks, glinting gold and red in the moonlight. His hair was wet and slicked back from his face, his skin browned by the sun. He was a man who took his shirt off when he worked. My father would have been scandalized by that, but my father was not a survivor.

I caught my bottom lip with my teeth and Sawyer stared at it, like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. His hand came out of the water and he drifted closer to me. His fingers, warm and rough and wet, slid over my jaw and his thumb rubbed up against my mouth.

A small sound escaped my lips, a sound I’d never known myself to produce. It was a sound of satisfaction, a sound of need. I’d wanted him to touch me. I wanted more.

As if I’d voiced it all in that one sound, Sawyer moved closer still, until his bare chest touched mine. His skin felt like hot silk. My hands found their way to his shoulders without my being aware I’d made the decision to touch him back. His went to my waist and in the same movement, he kissed me. His lips were soft and the kiss questioning.

I should have pushed him away, I knew he was not a man to trifle with, but my lips softened beneath his and anything tentative about the kiss vanished. His arms tightened around me, pulling me to the hard muscles of his chest. My legs slipped between his as he held me off the soft bottom of the spring. There was no mistaking the other hardness that pressed against my stomach. But the feel of him sent signals to every part of me, making me want to wrap my legs around his hips and hold on tight.

My own wanton thoughts terrified me and brought me to reason with a rush. I pushed away and swam to the side as fast as I could. I scrambled awkwardly onto the platform and grabbed my clothes, pulling the chemise I’d hoped to keep dry on over my wet body as swiftly as possible.

My skin was hot now and the damp chill felt good. I was breathing heavily. I tried not to, but I couldn’t seem to stop the look back. Sawyer had swum to the other side of the pool. I couldn’t see his face through the thick steam, but I could feel his eyes watching me. Enticing me. And truth be told, I wanted to return to him. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel him and let him show me the mysteries between a man and a woman.

“
You done, Ella?” Chick asked.

“
I’m overheated. I think I’ll go back.”

I heard Sawyer’s laughter follow me as I fled inside.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I was once again in control of myself by the time the others came laughing up the walkway, and I joined into their easy conversation with a composure that surprised even me. I felt Sawyer’s eyes watching and I knew inside he was laughing at me, but I ignored him and went on as if he wasn’t there. I still had to talk to him before the evening concluded and I needed to seem calm when I did so. There were things to be settled before the doors of the Diablo opened for business.

When the others went upstairs, I decided I wouldn’t have a better opportunity to speak with Sawyer alone.

I found him at a table with a ledger book in front of him. He looked up when he saw me.

“
I’ll ask about a stagecoach tomorrow,” he said, his tone serious. “Small place like this, it may not come regularly. May not come at all.”

A heady mixture of relief and disappointment coursed through me. He intended to help me get home. Home? The notion seemed foreign to me. I had no home. Home, for me, would be where I made it. But the relief that he did not intend for me to sell my body for him ... to him, brought a rush of feeling.

“
Thank you,” I said. I knew he was right about the stagecoach. I’d made the same realization myself. In the best of circumstances, I would be here for a few weeks. In the worst... Well, I wouldn’t think of that. Either way, I would need money. I had only one dress and though all of the girls had generously shared with me, none of them had much themselves.

I knew my parents would not approve of me earning wages in a saloon, no matter how nice it was, but I think even they would understand that my choices were limited. If I could convince Sawyer of my worth, I might save myself the other, more uncertain fate that awaited me.

I took a deep breath, mustering my courage, and went to sit at his table. He looked up, surprised, and then back down to the ledger book. He turned pages and frowned.

“
I found this behind the bar. Looks like his accounting for the cost of this place. I can’t make much sense of it though.”