Whisper on the Wind (68 page)

She knew. ‘And?’

‘And for a chambermaid to swear in court that she saw them together …’

‘All nice and civilized but totally false, then? So where will
your
adultery take place, Barney? Where are my grounds coming from?’

‘From Cairo.’ He flicked away his cigarette end, watching its flight intently. ‘And not
will
, Kath;
did.
I stayed the night – quite a few nights – in a Cairo hotel with her. Like I said, I’ll admit it. I’ll send you a letter all about it that you can use in court and I won’t defend it. An undefended petition goes through quickly, he said. It’s when people start making a fuss and arguing about money, that it takes time. And I want it done quickly, Kath. I want it over and done with as soon as you can. I’m asking you –
please
?’

‘Why? Is
she
pregnant?’

‘No.’

‘And does she know all about this? I mean, I take it that the Cairo lady is the one this divorce is all about? Doesn’t she mind being cited? Will she like it when she’s called the – the
co-respondent
, I believe it is?’

‘There are ways of keeping her out of it.’

‘Well, now. You and your lawyer friend have got it all sewn up, haven’t you? But there’s just one thing you haven’t thought about. Divorces – and divorce lawyers – cost money. Where is the money coming from?’

She was angry, and hurting inside. Not because of the divorce; that was what she wanted. But it was Barney’s assumption that she would do exactly as he – and the Cairo woman – wanted, that was so high-handed and unfair. And having it thrown at her.

‘Money? You’ve got some, haven’t you? That money you’ve saved out of the Army allowance. You were going to buy me a car with that, Kath, so why not use it to pay the solicitor? There must be quite a bit there, now?’

‘Yes.’ She was so taken aback by his arrogance, by his – yes
cheek
– that she said, ‘A hundred and eighty pounds.’

‘There you are, then! That’ll more than cover it. We’re home and dry!’

‘Yes.’ There wasn’t anything else to say but yes and if there had, she wouldn’t have been capable of saying it. ‘Home and dry,’ she gasped, then threw back her head and laughed. Really laughed. It was all there was to do, come to think of it.

‘Oh, Barney,’ she whispered when she had finished. ‘You beat cockfighting, you truly do …’

And he stared at her, not understanding, demanded to know what was so bloody funny, but she didn’t tell him. She couldn’t, so she said instead, ‘Tell me about it, Barney – and about her, too. I think you owe me that. And don’t worry; you can have your divorce. Perhaps we both made a mistake …’

So he told her. About being sent temporarily to a Medical Corps unit – there had been heavy fighting and a lot of casualties, not enough ambulances or drivers to get them all to hospitals – and about arriving at a place called Hafiif and
her
being there.

‘There she was, Kath – an army nursing sister with rank up – and there I was, helping carry in a stretcher case. I didn’t recognize her at first and I said, “Where to, Sister?” and she said, “Straight ahead. The ward on your left, Barnaby.” I tell you, I nearly dropped the poor sod. Ellie, it was. After more than three years – looking bloody marvellous.’

‘You knew her before – before –’

‘Before you, Kath? Yes. Going steady, we’d been, for more than a year. Then I met you and I had to have you and – well, the rest you know.’

‘You jilted Ellie, for me?’

‘Yes.’ He lit another cigarette and drew on it deeply, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils. ‘That’s just about it. A dirty trick, Kath, because I loved her, you see, only she was more available than you were. You – well –
wouldn’t.
’

‘And she would – and did? And being you, you were determined to have the one you couldn’t bed –
me
?’

‘Kath!’ His dismay was genuine, his embarrassment real. He had never heard her talk like that before – but it was all the fault of the Land Army. Gave women ideas when they got themselves a uniform.

‘So, Barney – you and Ellie got together again?’

‘Yes. Helen Bates her name is, only I called her Ellie. She always called me Barnaby – the only one who ever did. After I married you she went nursing – got qualified then joined the Army. Done well, Ellie has …’

‘And she’ll get marriage leave, will she? They’ll let her come home?’

‘She
is
home.’ He shifted uncomfortably, looking down. ‘She was the nursing sister who flew back with us on the RAF transport. It was Ellie who nursed me when they took me to Hafiif, after the land mine, would you believe?’

And Ellie who went with the three of you to Edinburgh?’

‘That’s it, Kath. She’s still there. And she’s told them she’s getting married, so they won’t post her back to Hafiif.’

‘Well, I wish you both luck – I really do – and Barney …’ Now she must tell him and because it wasn’t in her nature to be anything but honest and open, she must meet him half way. ‘… I want us to part friends because I know how it was for you, meeting Ellie again. I met someone, you see, only he’s gone away and I won’t ever see him again. We weren’t lovers, but I wanted us to be.’

‘Why are you telling me that, Kath?’ He looked up, startled. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘No, but I want to. As I said – good luck to you both. Does Ellie come from Birmingham, too?’

‘Yes. No more than three streets away. Why?’

‘Nothing, really –’ Only that it might be fun to be a fly on Aunt Min’s immaculate wallpaper when the two of them met. ‘Well – that’s it, then?’ She gave a surprised and slightly disbelieving laugh. ‘I – I’ll get on with it, I suppose – see a solicitor.’

‘Yes. Is there anything –’

‘No, Barney. There’s nothing I want. Just my clothes. And I suppose, now, that in the future it’ll be my solicitor talking to your solicitor?’

‘Reckon it will, Kath.’

‘Then you’d better have my new address – I’m living in at Ridings, now. And since you’ll probably be moving on from here before so very much longer, I think you should have letters sent to Birmingham.’

‘Good idea …’

‘Aunt Min can forward them on – well, she’ll always know where you are, won’t she? And Barney, ask her –
tell
her – not to open them first. All right?’ It was her parting shot, her exit line; catty, but Barney owed her that. Rising to her feet she held out her hand and red-cheeked, he took it.

‘So long, Barney. All the best.’

‘So long, Kath. Be lucky.’

She walked away in a daze; across the lawn, around the side of Shilton House and through the tall gates. Then down the narrow lane between the churchyard and the vicarage, to the bus stop – and freedom.

And Marco would never know.

This morning she had stood at these very crossroads, thumb jabbing, wondering what would await her when she got to Shilton. A blind soldier, perhaps, raging bitterly against a mean-minded Fate that had placed him one step behind the man who had stepped on a land mine?

And by whose capricious whim had there been a nurse called Ellie at a hospital at Hafiif and why, Kath demanded, hadn’t her instincts warned her? The facts had all been there, yet she’d been too stupid even to suspect. How was she to go about getting a divorce? Was it to be a sordid affair with herself the injured, complaining party, or would Barney’s eagerness to be free of her make it easier? And had it
really
happened? Did she, even now, believe that suddenly there was another woman in Barney’s life; that now there was Ellie, from no more than three streets away …

‘I’d sell my soul for a mug of tea,’ she said soberly, hanging up her hat, peeling off her bright green pullover. ‘Just
wait
till I tell you!’ Water rattled into the kettle, the gas plopped alight. ‘It isn’t possible! I get there, and he’s fine. His eyes are going to be all right and for that, thank God. But guess who wants a divorce, Roz! Just
guess
!’

She hadn’t intended telling it like that; she’d planned to relate it as it really happened, and calmly, too. But her mind was still in a turmoil of disbelief because now it was Barney asking for his freedom.

‘Barney? You’re telling me Barney wants out? I don’t believe it!’

‘Then you’d better, because it’s true. He’s giving me grounds and he won’t defend it, either, he says. Well, I
think
that’s what he said, and oh, I want to tell Marco, and I can’t …’

All at once it was too much. She covered her face with her hands, fighting back tears.

‘Please don’t cry, Kath. It’ll be all right.’ Roz, arms close around her, leading her to a chair, offering a handkerchief, making little hushing sounds. ‘I’ll make the tea.’ She offered her cigarettes. ‘Go on – have one. I can’t find a lot of use for these things, now.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Kath’s agitated hand set the match flame shaking. ‘It’s a terrible thing to be divorced, Roz, but I’m glad. I
am.
In fact all I’m worried about is that I’ll wake up in the morning and find it was only a dream; that I’ll have to go back to Birmingham and Aunt Min – and that bed.’

‘So tell me?’ Roz said gently, and when she had, when Kath told how it had been at Shilton – every word they had said, and more besides, she took a shuddering breath of disbelief and whispered, ‘So there you are …’

‘So there we are, and Kath – isn’t it all so clear, now? Those shirty letters – they weren’t really because you’d joined the Land Army, were they? By that time he’d met Ellie, hadn’t he? The long convoys we didn’t understand, him actually sending you a postcard from Cairo, and all the time he was – well, you know. And now, if you please, he’s graciously allowing you to use your savings to pay for the divorce!’

‘I know. I’m a fool, but I want it too, don’t forget. But how do I go about it, and what will it cost? Are people going to point at me and say, “Look at that one –
divorced …
”’

‘Does it matter? Do you care what they say? So they’ll be talking about your divorce? At least they’ll be giving my unmarried pregnancy a rest, won’t they? And as for
how
– well, I think you should ring Mr Dunston in the morning and tell him all about it. If he can’t help you, he’ll know who can. Then you show them Barney’s confession and tell them to get on with it – pretty damn quick. And if you’re short of cash, I’ve some I can lend you – okay?’

‘Put like that it seems fairly straightforward.’

‘
Fairly
straightforward. Divorces are always – well – messy. But it’ll be a nine-day wonder and after all, you
are
the innocent party.’

‘Innocent? But am I? All right – so Barney went the whole way with Ellie in Cairo, but I wanted to, as well. I wanted Marco like there was no tomorrow and I wish, now, that we
had
!’

‘Then just be glad you didn’t, because if you’re blameless – technically blameless, that is – getting a divorce is going to be a whole lot easier. I wonder if Ellie is having a baby?’

‘He said not. He probably wants to marry her quickly in case either of them get sent overseas again. They might have to wait years, if that happened. After all, what Barney wants, Barney must have.
Now.
It was always the same.’

‘A spoiled child growing up into a selfish man?’

‘Something like that. But I wish Marco could know. I wish there was some way of telling him. There’d be something for us to hang on to, then – even though the war won’t be over for years.’

‘Me, too. I wish Paul could have known about the baby. Once, I almost told him, but I didn’t, and now it’s too late. But you, Kath, are going to find Marco and you’re going to tell him. Somewhere there’s got to be someone who knows where they all went.

‘So he’s a prisoner of war and it’ll be difficult, but I don’t think he’s all that far away, and if you love him like I think you do, then it’ll be up to you. Everything is coming right for you, so go out and grab it. Because I’d do anything –
anything
– to be able to see Paul. Just once more. I’d tear down York city walls, stone by stone with my bare hands if I could see him for just a minute; just long enough to say, “We have a child, Paul,” and to kiss him goodbye.’

‘Oh, Roz –
don’t
!’

‘No. I mustn’t, and I’m sorry. But
think on
as we say in these parts. And Kath – can
I
tell
you
something, now? Will you come into the sitting-room so I can tell you and show you? And when I have, will you hold my hand tightly and tell me I’m going to be able to cope and that you’ll stay at Ridings with me as long as you can? Will you?’

‘What is it?’ Suddenly Kath wasn’t hungry and the thick slice of bread and jam she’d been longing for since she had walked, thumb jabbing, along the road that led from Shilton, was forgotten. ‘What’s happened? Are you all right? Is it the baby?’

‘Sprog is fine – well, I hope he is, but this morning, after you’d gone, I thought I’d have another look in Gran’s desk.’

The desk. ‘Oh, yes?’ Dammit, why was she so obsessed with raking up the past?

‘I started reading letters and I found out that – well, you’d better read this.’ The diary lay open on the desk. ‘Look – January 3rd, 1904 – it’s all there …’