Whisper of Memory (Whispering Woods Book 2) (10 page)

“Not again.”

“What? Not again?” I asked.

“No missions, investigating, leaving my sight. You are no good to the IIA if you’re dead.”

“I can’t believe you said that. Is this the real deal? You’re looking out for the IIA?”

He turned toward me, came closer. “I can’t stand it. This feeling I have makes me say the wrong things. Think the wrong things. I completely understand the need for the rules of interaction.” He drew me into his arms and buried his face in my neck.

I breathed out in relief. I didn’t want to fight. I always waited for the touching, the feeling I craved when I looked at him or talked to him.

“I do not know what to do with you,” he murmured against my hair. “I don’t know what to do with my feelings. So, I turn to what I know. I know how to be a team leader. And I fail in every other aspect.”

“No. I know you were worried sick. Your instincts were correct. Bleeker is in Goliath.”

“I suspected it.” Regulus lifted his head to look at me. He kept his arms loosely around me. “He didn’t hide very well.”

“I know why he’s there. There’s a portal. I’m sure of it. I felt the draw of it. You didn’t tell me there could be another one so close to us. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“It is surprising.”

My dad’s face appeared in the window, and he rapped on the glass from inside the house. Regulus dropped his hands.

“Five more minutes,” Dad mouthed and held up his hand, fingers splayed. “Five.”

“My dad isn’t happy. He had to get Austin out.” I waited for Regulus to ask me about that. When he didn’t, I continued, “They said I was free to go, but Austin couldn’t. His mom wouldn’t answer the phone, so I called my dad.”

Regulus appeared irritated. “This is probably his doing. He wanted to spend more time with you, so he landed you both in the jail.” Then he laughed. “I know that’s not true. I’m sorry that I said it.”

“No, it’s nobody’s fault.”

He again slid his arms around my waist. He bent to kiss me, but I angled my head slightly to one side, glancing to my left where the imposing figure of my dad stood, pulling back the curtain. Regulus stepped away, smiled, and waved at my dad.

“You can’t go there again. It’s too dangerous,” he said. “Arizona and I can take care of Dr. Bleeker now.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d let you go without me.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d let you go.” Regulus crossed his arms across his chest. He smiled.

“We’ll see.” I leaned forward to whisper in case my dad could hear me inside the house. “I don’t think you can stop me.”

The sound of a car coming up the drive interrupted Regulus’s next retort. A shiny, candy-apple red Camry stopped in front of the house.

I jumped off the porch and ran over to the driver’s window while squealing, “You are freaking kidding me! When did this happen?” I grabbed the car door to open it.

Em slung one foot out of the car and leaned out. “Hello there. How do I look? It’s my color, right?” She flung her hair back and beamed.

“When?” I asked.

“My dad decided that it was time for me to have my own car since I got stuck with you and Austin last night.” She couldn’t stop smiling.

“You could have taken Austin’s Jeep,” I said.

“Are you kidding? I can’t drive a stick. Besides, my parents said it was an early graduation present.”

“Why do you get presents for graduating?” Regulus drew closer and inspected the inside of her new car.

Em and I stared at him. I turned to look at Em, hoping she’d say something that didn’t sound entitled or spoiled. “Well?” I asked. “I’m not the one getting presents.”

She squirmed in the seat, and I leaned down to sniff the new car smell. I couldn’t help but inhale deeper and smile innocently at her.

“Um, I’ve worked hard in school, and this is a celebration kind of thing.” Em’s cheeks turned a flattering shade of pink. “Didn’t you celebrate finishing high school?” she asked Regulus.

He gave her a blank face. “No,” he said simply without elaborating. He never wanted to answer questions from Austin or Emily. He barely answered my questions. I had the distinct feeling that he was breaking every rule he’d been taught by disclosing anything about his life. His world.

“Then you can share my celebration,” she said with that cheerful, I-don’t-know-what-else-to-say-here look in my direction. She rose to exit the car and I backed up.

At that moment, the snarl of a motorcycle traveling up my gravel driveway interrupted the conversation.

I cocked an eyebrow. “Arizona, I assume.”

“He was supposed to wait until I called him. I wanted to talk to you first.” Regulus frowned and went to meet Arizona as the bike turned the last corner of the drive and came into view.

Arizona stopped the motorcycle and rested one foot on the ground before parking it and hopping off. Then he removed the helmet, shook his blond hair free from his face, and glanced at us with a lopsided grin.

“Looks like I didn’t interrupt anything.” Arizona smiled even broader. “Emily, Emily. I never guessed you might be here.”

It was like he had built-in radar.

“And I never guessed you’d be here,” Em replied.

“We’re both lucky then, aren’t we?” Arizona sauntered to the car and circled it. “Very nice, Em. Where shall we go first?” he asked, clearly including only Em.

I looked at Regulus and grinned, then turned to Em. “Yeah, where are you taking Arizona?”

“You guys want to go for a ride or not? My parents said I have to be back in a couple of hours.” Em’s voice shook with excitement. A pink glow emanated from her that I knew only I could see.

“I’m grounded,” I said with regret. My dad stood in the window watching us. Even from a distance, I could see his arms were folded. I hadn’t been grounded for years. The last time I’d been grounded, Pete and I had fought over who had to wash dishes after a dinner meal. We’d scuffled in the kitchen with Pete holding me in a headlock and giving me a bloody nose. We had both been punished.

“I have things to do.” Regulus sighed and looked back at the window. He again waved at my dad. My dad waved back. Regulus left, his motorbike emitting what seemed like a frustrated roar.

“It looks like it will be the two of you,” I said.

“Oh, that’s OK. We can do it some other time,” Em said. She looked at me and not Arizona.

“I’d love to go, Emily. Unless you’re scared of being alone with me.” Arizona was already sidling toward her car’s passenger door. “We can go to that overlook on the mountain. You know…the secluded one.” He winked at me.

“I c-can’t—” Em stuttered.

“He’s kidding. You guys could go get ice cream or something,” I said helpfully. “The Dairy Barn has great strawberry sundaes.”

“That sounds absolutely delicious,” Arizona said in what I considered his sexy voice.

He was making Em nervous, and I wanted to throttle him. “Maybe you two should ask Tiny to go.”

Arizona had met Tiny on a couple of occasions. I had no doubt that he didn’t care for Tiny…or his easy relationship with Em.

“I’ll behave,” he said in a defeated voice.

“We’d better go before Mr. Taylor comes outside.” Em waved at Dad, still in the window. He returned the wave but didn’t budge from his post.

“’Bye, you guys. Sorry I’m missing out,” I said.

“Me too. Me too,” Arizona said with a note of sarcasm as he quickly got into Em’s car.

I watched them leave without really wondering what they would talk about or do together. My main concern was where Regulus had gone and what he was doing.

I
wanted
to be trusted more than anything else in the world. Any day of the week, I could look my dad in the eye with no guilt. No regret. Today would be different. The grounding had been bearable for the first part of the week. School during the day and catching up on homework at night gave me the activity I needed to forget about missing Regulus. Dad let me keep the cell phone under the condition that I wasn’t allowed to call or text anyone but him…and he planned to check my log.

On Wednesday, I stared out the window in Senior English mistaking another dark-headed guy for Regulus. Of course, it wasn’t him and couldn’t be him. The closed campus at Whispering Woods High mandated that all visitors register with the office personnel and have permission to be on campus. Regulus would never come to campus.

I bent my head again and tried to concentrate on my journal entries. Everything that popped into my head to write revolved around Regulus. I wrote something down and promptly began erasing. Write, erase, write, erase. My paper was worn and tired of my indecision and inability to focus.

Finally, Em offered to call Regulus and relay a note. My sour mood must have been more than she could stand. I scribbled a note to Regulus and handed it to her at the end of the day while we stood beside our lockers. Several students loitered in the hallway, talking in a bevy of blue boisterous voices.

I leaned in to whisper to Em. “Tell him that it has to be after ten. Not any sooner. And tell him that I’ll put my lamp in the window. Like Paul Revere.” I handed her the note. “No, wait. Not like Paul Revere. There’s no way he’ll know what that means.” I was nervous at the thought of sneaking out or in. It was cold outside. I told myself several times that it made more sense for Regulus to come in. We’d freeze to death standing around in the windy night.

“I’ve got it. Quit worrying. How’s he getting to your window?”

“Ladder,” I said. “I’m leaving it on the ground on my side of the house. It’s all in the note you’re supposed to read to him. OK?”

“I can give him the info. You make sure you don’t get caught. Winter formal is next weekend,” Em said.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got this planned out like a military invasion.” My nervous laugh bubbled up, threatening to escape.

“I’ve got your back. You be ready, General Taylor.”

“Thanks, Em. I know I can always count on you. You’re the best.”

“I know.” She smiled and turned. Glancing back at me one last time, she said, “But you’ll owe me for this one.”

“You got it.”

I exhaled and reached for my books.

D
ad kissed
my forehead in the same way he had every night of my life for as long as I can remember. He patted my head and said, “Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

I watched him leave my room. Though I’d wanted him to hurry and go to bed, I said, “Dad?”

He came back, leaned down, and straightened the covers coming untucked at the bottom. He smiled tiredly. “What, Mia?”

“Are you lonely? I mean…” I stopped because I couldn’t think of a way to finish. Heat crept up my neck and flooded my cheeks. “I want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy, Mia. I don’t know why you would even ask.” He sat on the edge of the blanket that he’d tidied. Patting the top of my foot, he added, “I know you’re feeling down about being grounded. I can’t let you run wild—”

“I know that. This isn’t about me.”

“What is this about, then?”

“You never date. You go to work and then you’re here.”

“I have friends I work with. I’m not seventeen. They don’t come to the house.”

“Oh.” I traced the pattern on my comforter. “Are you saying you’ve dated and I didn’t know?”

“I wouldn’t say dated.” He tilted his head back. “I’ve gone out to dinner with a few women. I meet people who work on a project with me. Nothing serious. Nothing I should have told you about.”

“Good.”

“Good that there’s been no one serious, or good that I’ve been on a date?”

“I don’t want to think about you being lonely. I have friends, but I never see yours.”

“Hmm,” he said, nodding. “Sometimes, Mia, adults don’t need the same things.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m a kid. I’m seriously worried about you. I want you to have someone in your life besides me.”

“Seriously, there’s been no one I’ve been that interested in since your mother left.”

“She ruined you. Right?” I attempted to keep my tone even. I didn’t want him to deny it automatically.

“Ruined… Do you want to talk about your mother?”

“Not particularly.”

“You never ask about her. Don’t you want to know why she left?”

“No.”

“I think you need to know.”

Silence. He was better at waiting out a topic in a conversation. I hated the silences more than the talking.

“Tell me then. It won’t change what I think about her. But you can tell me if it makes you feel better.” I pulled the blanket up to my chin.

“Your mom loved you and Pete very much.”

My mouth dropped open. “Oh, please. Don’t start with that.” I moaned. “Actions speak louder than words.”

“Mia—”

“Tell me why she left. Please. The truth. I’m a big girl. Was it an affair?”

“She told me that she was unhappy. That she needed to find her way.” He stopped. After several moments, he began again. “She said that she couldn’t take you and Pete from me. That she loved you both, but this life wasn’t enough.”

“She could have sacrificed and stayed. Plenty of people do that. She was selfish and didn’t deserve you.” I had chewed on my thumbnail until it was sore and throbbing. I forced my hand away from my mouth and took his hand in mine.

“No. She didn’t need to stay. It would have made us all miserable. I watched her change after you were born. Every day, she was a little more on edge. Restless. I thought it was the post-partum blues. Maybe it was. In any case, I couldn’t convince her to stay. After she’d been gone a year, I got served the divorce papers. I knew before then that she wasn’t coming back.”

“Good riddance.”

“No, Mia. She’ll always be your mother. You can’t hate her. She couldn’t live this life, but that isn’t a reason to hate her. Nancy was isolated in the woods. She didn’t have friends or family besides us. I met her when she was here taking soil samples for a research project she was working on. She hadn’t planned to stay.”

“I’ll never understand how you can defend her. Why you don’t hate her? It doesn’t make sense.”

“I might have hated her when she left, but I’ve gotten past that. There’s a thin line between love and hate. It’s easy to cross that line. Love is a much better side to be on.” He leaned forward and pushed hair out of my eyes. “I’ll always love my little girl no matter what she does.”

I fought back the lump in my throat and the prickly feeling in my eyes. “I love you too, Dad.” My voice came out in a croaky whisper.

I rolled over, and he walked out the door, quietly shutting it behind him.

A
t the gentle
tap at the window, Biscuit growled, instantly alert. Grabbing the bag of dog cookies from my nightstand, I waved one at him, getting his full attention. “Shh. Biscuit, here.”

Regulus had completed the window repair from the earlier break-in. A slim gap at the bottom showed it wasn’t fully closed, allowing him to pry up the window. He slid the glass open in one easy motion.

“Hello,” he murmured. Balancing on the ladder with acrobatic ease, he reached across the windowsill. “Did you find it necessary to risk my life by summoning me here to your bedroom?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered. A thrill of excitement buoyed me. This would be the first time I had snuck someone into my room. I mentally argued that it was necessary. Desperate circumstances call for desperate measures, and I was desperate to see him.

Regulus climbed through the open window. “Your father,” he said. “He’s here.”

I nodded. “He sleeps through everything. He won’t wake up.”

My room had chilled considerably in the few moments before he shut the window softly. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist. His clothing was cold from the temperature outside, but I pressed my head to his chest, nevertheless seeking warmth.

He relaxed and kissed the top of my ear. “You feel that you are safe because your father is downstairs, yet you tempt me beyond reason. You think—”

“I missed this,” I said as I lifted my head to look into his dark blue eyes, the color of the deepest part of the ocean.

He smiled his rare, crooked smile and kissed the tip of my nose. Between each breath he took, he dotted kisses on another part of my face—my eyelids, my forehead, my lips. He lightly touched his lips to mine and then we were kissing. The familiar taste of his mouth, my heart beating in my ears, the solid feel of his body—all these things had become so important to me. I would never get tired of the bliss that surrounded my brain and made me forget everything else in the world.

When he stopped kissing me, everything in me wanted to protest. Before him, I had no idea what the big deal was. No idea why girls my age talked endlessly about guys they wanted to date. And sometimes they talked about guys they wanted to marry.

Now I got it. I wanted a marathon of kissing and more. It was a sweetness that filled me from the inside, including my heart.

“I only came because I needed to talk with you.” He inched back to the desk and sat on it, crossing his arms.

“What if I don’t want to talk?” I teased. Then, I saw the nervousness shimmering from him. Regulus normally exuded a warm yellow glow, like the sun at the end of a fine day in June. Tonight I noticed the magenta tinge of color when he spoke.

“You have been asked to report to The Vault. To meet the Makers. To accept your chip implant.” His guarded look exasperated me. “To vow your allegiance.”

“I thought I had time to decide about that. The chip.” My knees shook, and I forced myself to sit on the edge of the bed. “You know…it will make it hard to get through airport security. My grandma has a steel bolt in her ankle and she has to go through this hassle—”

“No detection in airports,” he said. “It’s not made of steel or metal.”

“Oh.” I looked around my room because I didn’t want him to see the fear that rose in my throat and chest like the foam on the surface of a boiling pot.

“There is no reason to be frightened. Unless you are changing your mind about things.”

“I’m not changing my mind about anything. I saw what Dr. Bleeker did. I’m all for stopping murderers and…”

“And?”

“I want to help you and Arizona. I can do that without the chip.” I knew he believed I was being stubborn. But the situation reminded me of getting my shots when I was a kid. I’d known I had to do it, but I’d built up this intense dread beforehand.

It would be over quickly. Regulus told me that it didn’t hurt. I trusted him.

“It isn’t a rule you can debate, Mia. The time has come, and we will plan it for the next week your father is away. The implant of the chip is for our safety…for your safety. With it, I’ll always know where you are and vice versa.”

“And the IIA,” I said.

He stared at me. “Yes. The IIA as well.”

“Even my dad doesn’t know where I am every minute. Why should the IIA?”

He groaned. “You ask why and I tell you. I give you all the answers I have and you keep asking for more.” He paused. “Do you know what I think?”

I shook my head, afraid of what he might say.

“That you ask because you are doubting me.”

“No. You know that’s not true. I do trust you.”

“Trust means you do something when you don’t have all the answers.”

“OK then. I’ll do it. My dad leaves for Chicago the week after the winter dance. I can do it then. I’ll miss a day of school.”

I watched the relief spread over his face like the sun rising. It washed him in brilliant color, and his happiness was almost tangible, as though I could have touched it.

“You will be one of us then. Officially.”

I grinned and threw my arm around his neck. I tiptoed and pulled his head down to meet mine. “You’re finally making an honest woman out of me. Is that what’s making you so happy?”

He looked confused.

“I mean, you want me to be officially with you guys. Right?”

“I want to make sure that you are one of the IIA and never to be mistaken for the enemy. It’s protection for you to be part of my team.”

“And we can always find each other.”

“Yes. We can always find each other.”

The moments between talking and kissing were always a blur for me. Once we started kissing, I lost all track of time and place. His lips felt exactly right.

Then he drew back. “This is not a good idea.” He glanced around my dim bedroom with half-lidded eyes. “The chip won’t matter if your father kills me when he discovers that I am in your room.”

“He won’t.” I groaned while trying to pull his warm body back to mine. “I promise.”

Regulus smiled with a tinge of regret. “I always calculate the odds and the risk is high. There will be another time and place for us.” He smoothed my hair back and cupped my face in his palms for one last kiss. “I will do anything to protect what I have with you. I…”

My heartbeat pounded in my ears. I exhaled. “What?”

“It’s all different now.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “There is no plan for this, and I am having a difficult time creating one that will work.”

“Plan for us?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “A plan for us to be together.”

He withdrew from me and turned. Biscuit followed him to the window. I grabbed Biscuit’s collar. Regulus climbed through the window and pulled it down as he left. His last, beautiful smile warmed me, and I tingled from head to toe. I lay back on my bed, and Biscuit jumped onto the pillows. He scratched around making a nest for himself on one side and settled to sleep. I stroked his head and closed my eyes, thinking of what would have happened if Regulus had stayed.