Whiskey Lullaby (6 page)

Chapter 9

Julie

I’m not sure how it happened, but Jase has been at my house every night for nearly three weeks. Sometimes he takes Jenny to the park or to get an ice cream, but most of the time, they just hang out here. He’s really awesome with her. He’s up for anything she wants.  The other day, I walked in on them playing Barbie’s. It was the sweetest thing I ever saw. 

Tonight, they are out back playing on the tire swing. Bethany and I are sitting in the living room watching
Army Wives
. I can hear Jenny shouting for him to push her higher. I smile when I hear her laugh. God, I wish things could have been different. I wish we could have been the family that Jenny needs. 

“When are you going to forgive him?” Bethany asks.

I look over to her and just shake my head. Doesn’t she realize that it’s not about forgiveness? Staying away from Jase is pure self-preservation. 

“You know I love you
, Jules, but you have let this go on for too long. You love that man, and he loves you. Both of you love Jenny. You need to be a family.” 

I start to respond, but I am cut off by the front door opening. Matty walks in and I can tell that something is wrong. I get up and walk over to him. 

“What’s wrong, Matty?”

“I need to talk to you
for a minute,” he responds, and then looks over to Bethany. “Can you give us a few minutes alone?” 

“Sure
,” she agrees and quickly leaves the room. 

Matty looks at me and runs his fingers through his hair. “What’s going on between you and
Jase?”

“What are you talking about
?” I shake my head and add, "He’s Jenny’s dad. That’s it.”

“Are you sure?”

For some reason, I hesitate. Was I sure? No!

“Look
, Jules, I need to know if you’re still in love with Jase.”

“Why? What’s this all about?”

“Shit! You have to know how I feel about you. I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.  When you came back to town, I thought I’d finally get my shot, but I see the way you look at Jase, and I wonder if you’ll ever look at me that way.”

I’m shocked. I neve
r even considered that Matty has feelings for me. In fact, I always thought he had a thing for Kristen. I’m not sure how to respond to him. I do love him, but not in the way he wants. Before I have a chance to explain, Matty pulls me into his arms and kisses me. I start to pull away, when I hear Jenny’s voice.

“Yuck, Uncle Matty’s kissing Momma!”

Matty and I separate, and we both turn towards the kitchen to see Jenny and Jase coming in the back door. Jenny is scrunching her nose up, like she just smelled something really bad. But, Jase. Shit! Jase looks like his heart is broken. 

******

Jase

I love spending time with Jenny. She’s an amazing little girl. She laughs all the time and is always in a good mood. Being with her makes me happy. The only thing that could make me happier is being with her and Julie. I think Julie is starting to come around. She’s invited me to stay for dinner a few times, and she never complains when I come over. I even caught her looking at my ass yesterday. That’s got to be a good sign, right?

I’m pushing Jenny on the tire swing, and she’s telling me all about her day. She loves school. She’s smart as hell. Jenny hasn't even been in school for a month, and I
’ve already got a refrigerator covered in smiley face papers. 

"Push me higher
, Daddy."

I reach over to push Jenny higher, and her doll goes flying across the yard. Oh shit!  I hope it's not broken, because she carries that doll everywhere. 

"Daddy, go get Lulu, please," Jenny says so frantically that I almost laugh. How could a doll be that important? 

I walk over and pick it up. It's a little dirty, but the head, arms, and legs are still attached, so I guess we're good. I walk back to Jenny and hand the doll to her.

"Why do you like Lulu so much?"

Jenny just looks at me like I'm crazy.  “Because, she was the first doll you ever gave me."

What the hell is she talking about? "Sweet Pea, I didn't give you that doll."

She shakes her head and laughs. "Yes, you did. You gave it to me for when I turned six." She looks at me and makes a sad face. "You didn't come to my birthday party ‘cause you were too busy. But you sent me Lulu. I love Lulu, but I wish you could have been there."

Why the fuck did Julie give her a doll from me? "Did you ever get any other presents from me?"

"Sure lots. You always send the best birthday and Christmas presents, but my favorites are the big chocolate bunnies you send at Easter. You know Momma says I can't eat a bunch of candy because it’s not good for my teeth, but she lets me eat me as much of my bunny as I want, ‘cause they are special." 

What the fuck? Why would Julie do that? Why would she keep Jenny away but give her shit from me?  

Then it hits me, Julie never had a dad. She wanted to make sure Jenny did, even if I wasn't around. 

“Come on
, Daddy, let’s go inside. I’m hungry. Momma made no-bake cookies yesterday. I think there’s a few left. I'll sneak us some.” Jenny grabs my hand, and I follow her to the back door. When she opens it, I feel like my heart is being cut out of my chest. My fucking brother is kissing Julie. I can’t believe they would do this to me. I start to walk forward and whoop his fucking ass, but Jenny squeezes my hand. 

“Yuck, Uncle Matty’s kissing Momma!”

They jump apart and turn to us. They both start talking at the same time, but I don’t give a fuck about what they have to say. I bend down and give Jenny a hug. 

“Daddy’s going to head out now. I got to work in the mornin'
, so I need to get some rest. Love you, sweet pea.”  I release her and walk out the door.

I walk straight to my truck and drive to Skips. I haven’t been to the bar since Julie got back to town, but I need a drink tonight. I s
it at my normal barstool. “Give me a shot of Jack. Keep them coming.”

Chapter 10

Julie

Af
ter Jase leaves, Matty and I have a long talk. I tell him how I feel, and he surprises the shit out of me by laughing and saying he already knew. 

“I knew you weren’t in love with me; hell, I’m not in love with you. Don’t get me wrong, I love you
, but you’re like my little sister. I did enjoy kissing your sweet ass though,” he finishes with a wink. 

“
Then what was that all about then?” I say, motioning towards the spot where we had been standing.

“Well, it’s time to get your ass in gear. You love my brother, and he loves you. It’s time that you work your shit out. You were going too slow
, so I figured I’d give you a push.”

“I can’t
, Matty. He hurt me too bad. I can’t go through that again.”

“Do you really think I’d be here if I thought there was a chance that he’d do that shit again?”

“How do you know?” I ask, hoping like hell he has a good answer.

“I know, because I know what it’s like to love a woman you’ve hurt. Believe me, he won’t make the same mistake twice.” I want to ask Matty who he hurt, but I have a feeling that I already know.
I’m not blind; I've seen the way he and Kristen look at each other.   

“Go find my brother
, Jules, and give him another chance.” 

“
Yeah, Momma, go get Daddy. Bring him home,” Jenny says as she walks into the kitchen with Bethany close on her heels. 

“Sorry
, guys, but I couldn’t keep her out. Although, I have to say that I agree with her,” Bethany adds.

I look around at everyone and nod my head yes. I get up and walk to Jenny. “Okay, I’m going to get Daddy.”

It takes me nearly an hour to find Jase. I went to his apartment, Pop’s, Shane’s, even the garage. I am about to give up, when I see his truck sitting at Skips. I park right beside it, and sit here for a few minutes thinking about what to say. Finally, I decide that I’m just going to start with I love you. 

When I walk into the bar
, everyone looks at me. Melanie, the bartender, and I went to school together. She knew all about Jase and me, so she knows why I’m here. She motions toward the bathroom. When I walk around the corner, Jase is standing there straightening his pants. I wait a second then clear my throat to get his attention.

“I wanted to explain
,” I say in a whispered voice, but stop when I hear the bathroom door open. 

******

Jase

I tap the bar to get another shot just as Brittany slides onto the stool next to mine. 

“Ain’t seen you here for a while. Wanna hit the bathroom with me?”

I look at her for a minute. I know she’s a fucking bitch, but she’s an easy lay. Why the hell not? It’s not like I’ve got a chance with Julie anymore. I guess I never really did. I tip my chin to her and stand up. We make our way to bathroom without saying a word.  As soon as I close the door, she’s all over me. 

She tries to kiss me, but I turn my head. I don't kiss anyone but Julie
; she knows the rules. All these bitches do. Brittany gets on her knees and starts to undo my pants. I look down at her, but all I can see is Julie and Matty kissing.

My stomach starts to roll as soon as she grabs my dick. I pull away and run to the toilet and toss up all the whiskey I've dr
ank. I stand up and run my forearm across my mouth. I look over to Brittany; she’s still on the floor smiling. 

“Come back. I’ll make you feel better.”

I shake my head in disgust and walk to the door. I open it and step into the hallway.  My pants are still undone, and my shit is hanging out. I’m working on my jeans, when I hear someone clear their throat. I look up, and Julie is standing in front of me. 

“I wanted to explain
,” she says in a whispered voice. I can tell she is nervous, and her eyes look like she’s been crying. I start to walk to her, but stop when I hear the bathroom door open. I turn around to see Brittany walk out. She looks toward Julie and smiles.

“Well
, if it isn’t nerd girl.” She looks toward me then back at Julie. “You can have him now. I’m finished.” Then, she walks away. 

When I look back at Julie,
her beautiful blue eyes are full of unshed tears. I want to comfort her, tell her nothing happened, but I know she won’t believe me. 

Julie takes a deep breath and pulls her body up tight. “I came to tell you that what you saw was a mistake. Matty was just trying to prove a point. There has never been and never will be anything but friendship between your brother and
me.” She takes another breath and continues. “I don’t think you coming to my house every day is good idea. You can still see Jenny of course, but we need to work out some sort of schedule. I will talk to Mr. Friedman tomorrow and have him draft up a visitation agreement. Until it’s finished, just call when you want to see her. I’ll drop her off at Pop’s.” 

She turns to walk away, but I grab her. “Please, wait
,” I beg.

“Let me go
, Jase. I think it's time we really let each other go.” She whispers then pulls away and walks out of the bar. 

I’ve done it again. I’ve fucked up everything again.  

Chapter 11

Julie

It’s been over a month, since I caught Jase with
Brittany. I dream about it every night.  Last night was the worst though. He was having a threesome. He, Brittany and Bec were all going at it on the desk at Pop’s shop. When I walked in, Bec looked up and asked me to join them. Thank God, I woke up after that. I’m still lying in the bed when I feel a rumble in my stomach. 

Oh no
. I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. This is the second day in a row I’ve woke up sick. I spend the next ten minutes with my head hung over the toilet. I clean myself up and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. I start to open the fridge, but I freeze when I look at the calendar. Oh my God, I’m late. This can’t be happening. I run back upstairs to Bethany’s room and barge in without knocking.

“Bethany, you need to wake up
, now,” I say as I shake her.

“What?” she says sleepily.

“You need to go out for me. Please! I think I’m pregnant, and I don't want anyone seeing me buying a pregnancy test."

With that
, Bethany hops out of bed and rushes to get dressed. She turns around to face me, looking panicked. “When did you sleep with Jase?”

“The night at the garage, during the
welcome home party at Pop’s garage,” I say with my head hung down in shame.

Bethany comes over to me and wraps me in a hug. “It’s ok
ay, we’ll figure this out. I’ll be back as soon I can.” Then, she runs out the door.

I’m pacing in Bethany’s bedroom when I hear her come back. I look at the clock and notice she was only gone for twenty minutes. She must have sped through town because I know it takes longer than that to get to the store and back. She charges in the room and throws me the bag. I look inside and there
are about five different brands of tests.

I clench the bag in my hand and run to the bathroom. One after the other
, I take the pregnancy tests. I sit them all on the bathroom counter and go back out to Bethany. We sit side by side on the bed. 

“Five minutes
,” I say quietly, and she nods. It feels like we’re waiting for an eternity before it’s time to check the tests. “I can’t look. Will you do it for me?”

Bethany gets up off the bed and goes to see what the results are. She comes back holding all of them with a sad smile on her face. “They’re positive
, Jules.”

No, this
cannot be happening again. “Are you going to tell him?” Bethany asks hesitantly.

“No. Yes. Maybe?
I don’t know.”

“You need to tell him. Jase didn’t get to be a part of Jenny's life, but he deserves to be a part of this one
,” she says with determination.

“He deserves to be
a part of this one? Are you kidding me? Do you not remember me coming home last month after finding Jase? Do you remember me telling you what happened? What he was doing?" I shake my head. "He hasn’t changed, Bethany.”

“Maybe not. He might not deserve
to be with you, but he does deserve to know about this child. I agree that Jase is a crappy boyfriend, but he's a great father to Jenny. No one can deny that.”

I think about what Bethany says and nod my head in agreement. She
’s right that I have to tell him, but I am not going to do it right now.

******

Jase

I picked up Jenny from Julie's today. I was hoping to talk to her first, but she wouldn’t even look at me. I don't blame her.
When Matty told me what really happened, I wanted to kick my own ass. If I would have stayed out of the bar, Julie and I would be together again. I can still see her face when Brittany walked out of the bathroom. I don’t know how I could have fucked up more.

I
brought Jenny to the lake today. She has been telling me that she’s been in swimming lessons since she was four, but has never swam in anything except for a pool before. It’s getting a little late in the year to swim, but it’s a warm day, so I figure this will be great.

We just got out of the lake. My Sweet Pea can swim like fish, but she’s tired now
, so we’re sitting by the lakeside skipping rocks. It takes me almost twenty minutes to teach her how, but she’s having a ball now. I’ve just tossed a rock when I hear my name being called. I look up and it’s Brittany again. Is she stalking me?

“Hey there
, handsome. Fancy seeing you here,” she says, smiling down.

I notice Jenny look up at her, looking mad. “Daddy, who is that?” Jenny says, eyeing
Brittany.

“Hey there. I’
m Daddy’s special friend.”

Jenny looks at me and frowns. “Daddy, can she not be your friend anymore? I don’t like her.”

I chuckle. “She’s not Daddy’s friend, baby. She’s just some annoying person that won’t leave me alone.”

Jenny breathes out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. Can you go away now? I’m having fun with my
Daddy.”

“You heard the girl,
Brittany. Get lost.”

She huffs. “I was wondering if you wanted to get together tonight?”
she says touching my arm.

“Don’t touch my
Daddy,” Jenny screams at her.

Brittany
instantly drops her hand away. “I can see she’s going to be a problem. Are you going to let her talk to me that way?”

“Are you serious right now? This is my daughter. She can speak to you however she wants. And if you don’t back off, I’ll let her bite your ankles.” Jenny giggles.

“Fine, you’ll regret this, Jase. Don’t come crawling back to me when your so-called family ups and leaves you again,” she says as she saunters off.

“Daddy, why would you ever be friends with someone like her?”

I run my hand over my face. “I don’t know, baby. I was stupid.”

“Yeah, I know you were. Now you need to be smart.” She pauses then looks back up. “So
, daddy, how are you going to get momma back? I want you together.”

“Oh
, baby, I don’t know. I really messed up.”

“How did you mess up?”

Did Julie not tell her? Shit. How do I explain this to an eight-year-old little girl? “I, um, kissed another girl when I was with your momma before.”

Jenny narrows her eyes. “Well, I’m glad she left you then. I would have too.” My heart feels like
it’s being crushed right now. “But, we’re back now, so I think you need to fix it. But, Daddy, if you kiss anymore girls that aren’t Momma, I’ll bite
your
ankles,” she says with a smile.