Whirlwind Reunion (18 page)

The hope in Cora's eyes died and fear spiked again inside Matt.

His stepmother looked at Annalise. “Does this mean he's not going to regain full consciousness?”

“No. This could as easily be a sign of his mind starting to wake up as a sign that it isn't.”

“What do we do if he doesn't wake up?”

“We take care of him,” Russ said firmly.

Matt couldn't speak past the knot of dread and anger in his throat.

With sympathy in her eyes, Annalise touched Cora's shoulder. “I'm going to step out for a minute and let the three of you have some time to talk.”

Matt's eyes narrowed. Was she trying to dodge him? The thought snapped his last thread of restraint. When Annalise went out the front door, he followed her around to the side of the house.

“You knew before I left that you were going to do this and you didn't tell me. Now Pa might not ever wake up.”

She turned, eyeing him warily. “It wouldn't have mattered if I'd told you. The surgery wasn't your decision to make. Or mine.”

“You didn't have to do it.”

She shook her head. “Why would you want him to carry on like this?”

“I don't!” he yelled, his chest aching. “Russ and I discussed this on the trail. Your point about him having to live on that medicine was good. All I wanted was the chance to talk to you again about the surgery. It's almost like you wanted me to be gone so you could proceed.”

“That's ridiculous,” she huffed. “I can't believe you even said that. How was I supposed to know you wanted to talk about it again? That you might change your mind about the surgery?”

“It's not that I necessarily think the surgery was wrong—I kind of reached that conclusion on the trail—but I do have a problem with you knowing about it before I left and not telling me.”

“That morning at the clinic, I thought you knew. I thought you had come to terms with it, but didn't want to discuss it.”

It was true talking hadn't been high on his list. “Why didn't you ask me?”

“Because I thought you already knew!” Her voice rose. “You think I lied? That I deliberately kept this from you?”

He didn't want to think so.

She drew in a sharp breath. “You think I'm lying right now. Why would you think that? What have I done to make you— Oh, no.”

His gaze sliced to hers. “What?”

“You still don't believe I told the truth about knowing I was expecting when I left Whirlwind. Did you just pretend to believe me so you could get me back into bed?”

“That's hogwash!”

“Yes, and that's how absurd your accusations are, too.”

“How did you get from my pa's surgery to that?” he demanded heatedly, refusing to soften at the stark pain in her eyes. He shoved a hand through his hair. “I thought things between us were going to be different, but evidently that only applies to me. You think
I
have to be different, but you don't.”

“That isn't fair. If you really believe I kept this from you deliberately, you haven't changed the way I thought you had.” Her voice caught and she bit her lip, her eyes hollow. “Do you really think I lied?”

He hadn't exactly said that, but it was what he meant, wasn't it? “Did you?”

She looked as if she might shatter. “Why should I answer? No matter what I say, you'll think it's a lie.” Sadness darkened her eyes. “Have you ever believed me?”

He thought he had. He didn't answer; he couldn't. He thought he had moved on, but right now all he saw were years of distrust, anger, feelings of betrayal.

The blood drained from her face, making her green eyes a stark contrast to her alarming paleness.

Russ called through the open bedroom window. “Pa's moaning again. I think he might be waking up!”

Annalise whirled and rushed back into the house. Matt was right on her heels.

“J.T.!” Cora was kneeling beside the mattress.

“Hello, honey.” His words were slurred, his eyes heavy-lidded.

Matt couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat. How he could feel anything past the fury throbbing in his veins was a mystery.

Annalise hurried around him to the foot of the bed and eased the sheet to Pa's thighs then carefully folded
back the loose waistband of his drawers, revealing a thick white bandage wrapped around his lower back.

“'Lise?” J.T. lifted his head slightly. He looked groggy and his voice was sluggish, just as it was when he took the morphine.

Annalise checked the bandage. Seemingly satisfied, she moved to his feet. “Can you wiggle your toes for me?”

He did, on both feet.

“Wonderful! Describe any pain you have.”

The patient hardly seemed able to keep his eyes open. “My back hurts like blue blazes,” he mumbled. “But it's a different pain than before.”

“Is it only in one spot?”

“Mmm-hmm.” His eyes closed.

Annalise glanced at Cora. “It's the place where I made the incision. That's to be expected.”

“You…got it all, 'Lise?” the big man asked in a slurred voice.

“Yes, I got it all.”

“Good.” His eyes closed and his features went lax with sleep. Cora gasped.

Annalise put a hand on her friend's arm. “It's all right. This is a natural sleep.”

“Thank goodness.”

Russ blew out a relieved breath and hugged Annalise. “Pa's going to be okay. You think he'll walk again?”

“It's too early to say, but I'm hopeful. Very hopeful.”

He squeezed her hard. “I can't wait to tell Lydia.”

“We should let him rest.” Annalise gave him and Cora a patently false smile. “I'll be back tomorrow to check on him.”

Cora grabbed her in a hug. “Thank you. Thanks so much.”

“You're welcome.” She gathered her things, gave the older woman some last instructions and started out the door.

Matt was so relieved about Pa, he was almost light-headed as he followed Annalise outside.

“Thanks,” he said gruffly. “That doesn't seem adequate for taking away his pain the way you did, maybe helping him walk again.”

She didn't respond, didn't turn, just continued walking briskly to the barn.

Replaying the harsh words he'd said to her earlier, Matt grimaced. He'd been a jackass. Just because he had never been so afraid in his life was no call to say what he had to her. “Annalise?”

She didn't pause or stop, just continued on to the barn.

Hell. He'd really pulled the trigger without aiming this time. Catching up with her, he gently snagged her elbow.

“Don't.” She whirled, jerking away from him. Color rode high on her cheeks. Her green eyes shot fire at him. “Don't.”

“I want to apologize.”

“I'm not interested,” she said in a cool distant voice he'd never heard then took another step toward the barn.

He moved, planting himself in front of her, panic beginning a slow crawl through his belly. “I'm sorry, dammit. Those things I said were—I know I shouldn't have said them. I panicked. Seeing Pa like that scared the hell out of me.”

“It would anyone.” She tried to step around him and again he blocked her path.

“If you understand, why won't you let me apologize?”

Angry tears glistened in her eyes. And he saw hurt there, too. Hurt he'd caused. “You just accused me of lying. Again. Your apologies don't hold a lot of water with me right now.” Her voice cracked. “We're finished.”

“What?” His heart stopped. “You don't mean that.”

“I do.” Her gaze, bleak with pain, met his. “I'm sick of your distrust. Sick of having to justify myself to you. I've had all I want.”

“We can work this out. I was an idiot.” A chilling finality filled him. “I'm sorry, Angel. Truly sorry.”

“How nice for you.” Her face was closed, unyielding as she looked past him. “Henry, could you get my buggy ready to travel, please?”

“Yes, ma'am.” The bow-legged man disappeared into the barn.

Matt took a step toward her. “At least let me take you to town.”

Her jaw locked tighter than a bear trap. “I'm not going anywhere with you.”

“Annalise.” Matt wanted to throw her over his shoulder, keep her until she forgave him, but he knew that could be a damn long time. The hell of it was he couldn't blame her. How could he have lost control of his tongue like that? “You can't leave like this.”

Behind him, he heard the jingle of harness as the horse and buggy came out of the barn. He tried not to panic. Hell, he was half afraid to say anything else. He sure wished he could take back what he'd said at the side of the house.

“You can't drive back alone.”

She didn't spare him a glance. Shoulders rigid, body tight, she waited as Henry led the buggy toward her. When the ranch hand halted a few feet away, she smiled. “Henry, could you please escort me back to Whirlwind?”

“Boss?”

When Matt turned toward the other man, Annalise ducked around him.

Henry looked from her to Matt.

Finally, his jaw clenched tight enough to break teeth, Matt nodded. There was no talking to her right now and that was his fault.

He dragged a hand down his face. “I'll come for you tomorrow.”

“Don't. It will be a waste of your time.”

“You can't go back and forth without an escort.”

She slid her medical bag beneath the buggy seat. “There are plenty of people I can ask to come with me.”

“Like who?” he asked hotly. She better not mean Quentin.

“It's none of your business, Matt Baldwin. I said we were finished and I meant it.”

Dad-blamed, confoundin' woman! Matt wanted to pull his hair out.

Still looking uncertain, Henry assisted her into the buggy. Without missing a beat, she took the reins and drove out of the yard.

Matt's chest was so tight he couldn't get a full breath.

With one last look back, Henry mounted his bay and followed Annalise.

Matt was about to crawl out of his skin. He knew
he'd hurt her deeply. Apologizing hadn't come close to reaching the pain inside her. She wouldn't talk to him, look at him.

Alarm shot through him. For the first time in his life, Matt had no idea what to do with a woman.

A
nnalise was determined to keep thoughts of Matt out of her head. He had all but called her a liar. Nothing had changed.

She'd thought she couldn't hurt any more than she had over his abandonment years ago. She'd been wrong. Blinking back tears, she thought about how unforgiving he'd looked earlier. She was
not
crying over him ever again.

She was mad enough to eat bees and she was going to hold on to it for a good long time.

As she drove into town and thanked Henry for escorting her, her stomach growled. Once she left her buggy and horse at the livery, she went to the Pearl.

After a hearty lunch, she returned to her clinic. She cleaned all her instruments as well as the inhaler tubes and mask. As she replenished the bandages in her medical bag, she glanced at the clock. She'd eaten just over an hour ago and her stomach felt hollow. She was hungry again.

Walking into her kitchen, she opened the cupboard and stared at the stale cloth-wrapped biscuits she'd made on the day she'd been summoned to the Triple B. Remembering that had Matt popping back into her head.

“Stupid man.” Angered all over again, she slammed the cupboard door shut. “He isn't even worth shooting.”

“Who isn't?”

She gave a little cry and turned to find Quentin in the doorway.

He smiled, which softened the sharp angles of his face. “Didn't mean to startle you. I knocked on the back door, but when you didn't answer, I went ahead and came in that way, as usual. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” There was no ramp for her friend's wheelchair at the front door so he used the back stoop, which was level with the ground.

“I came to check on you and from what I just heard, you need it.” He tilted his head. “Or maybe it's Matt who needs checking.”

“Don't talk about him.” In the pantry, she picked up a jar of peach slices. She could make a pie, but that didn't sound good either.

Quentin rolled into the room and parked himself at the corner of the table where he could see her face. “All right. Let's talk about why you're tearing up your kitchen. What are you looking for?”

“Something to eat.” She studied the two eggs left in a basket on the lower shelf. “I'm starving.”

“Let's go to the Pearl.”

She gave him a sheepish look. “I ate just an hour ago.”

“Obviously not enough. From what Russ said, you
put in a lot of hours with his pa. Did you eat during that time at all?”

“Yes.” Dreading Quentin might say something about Matt, she steeled herself. “What else did Russ say?”

“Come to the Pearl with me and I'll tell you.”

They left the clinic, Quentin maneuvering alongside her as they angled across Main Street toward the restaurant. “Russ told everyone you operated on J.T. and may have fixed his leg.”

“The surgery was a success.” She wasn't sure exactly what Russ had said and she didn't want to give away anything confidential. She hoped J.T.'s hours in that coma hadn't damaged him in any way.

Quentin held the door for her and she walked inside The Pearl. Red-checked-cloth-covered tables were set in neat rows.

Once they were seated, Quentin asked, “Do you think he'll walk again?”

“I'm hopeful.”

He was quiet for a moment before his gaze met hers. “Do you think something like that would work for me?”

Annalise smiled. She'd never heard Quentin express an interest in learning more about his condition. “I'd have to examine you before I could say.”

“How likely is a coma? Like what happened to J.T.?”

“It's not likely, but there is a risk,” she admitted. Russ must indeed have shared a lot of details.

“Okay. I'll think about it.”

They turned their attention to the menu. He asked a few more questions about J.T.'s surgery, mostly dealing with the anaesthetic she had used. She knew his worry about that came from J.T.'s experience.

No food on the menu sounded appealing either, but Annalise didn't tell Pearl. There was no reason to hurt the woman's feelings and it would. In the end, she just ordered a glass of lemonade.

As soon as she did, Annalise froze.
Lemonade.
The only time she ever wanted anything to do with lemons—no! She couldn't be pregnant! But nothing else explained why she wanted only that drink. What was she going to do?

Quentin asked her a question and she tried to focus. She didn't want him to suspect anything was wrong, but she needed to get back to her clinic so she could deal with this revelation.

And what about Matt? Her mind whirled as disbelief, joy, apprehension all crowded inside her.

About half an hour later, Quentin escorted her back to the clinic.

With that hollowness still gnawing at her stomach, she paused in front of the mercantile. She had to have some lemons. “I need to stop here for a bit. Do you need anything?”

“Not that I can think of. I'll just wait here until you get inside.”

“All right. Thanks for taking me to the Pearl.”

“Anytime.”

She squeezed his hand then walked inside the store.

Drawn to a corner by the scents of citrus and soap, Annalise finally found a basket of the yellow fruit. After making her purchase, she walked past Cal Doyle's law office to her clinic.

Was she really expecting? Despite her sudden taste for all things lemon, she could hardly take in the situation. Tears threatened.

A man stood on the front porch, knocking on the door.

“May I help you?” she called, hoping whatever he needed could be taken care of quickly. She wasn't in the best frame of mind to deal with a patient.

He turned, rumpled and dusty, leather gloves tucked into the back pocket of his denims. “You the saw-bones?”

“Yes.”

“I'm from the Eight of Hearts.” He didn't look much older than she was. He jerked off his hat, revealing thinning red hair and a sagging left jaw. The muscle had somehow been destroyed so one side of his face was lower than the other and appeared lopsided. “One of the hands, Frank, is in a bad way. He needs a doctor.”

She sighed inwardly. “Let me grab my bag.”

He nodded, staying outside, holding his hat. His gaze darted around town. She could tell he was impatient, maybe a little nervous. About his friend? Or perhaps the outlaws still on the loose?

They and the rustlers made everyone nervous. Annalise didn't travel anywhere these days without her derringer. Though she typically didn't carry it in town, she hadn't taken it out of her skirt pocket after returning from the Triple B.

Soon she followed him down the steps. “I'll drive my buggy and follow you, Mr.—”

“You can just call me Sherman. And that'll be fine.”

He strode quickly across to the livery with her and helped her harness the mare to the buggy. A few minutes later, they were on their way. He rode alongside her on a red roan gelding.

As they headed toward Mr. Julius's ranch, she noticed the ranch hand frequently looked around. He was definitely jittery.

Annalise glanced at him. “What happened to your friend?”

“He was gut shot. He's bleedin' a lot.”

“Perhaps you should've come for me earlier.”

“Yes, ma'am, I think so.”

He didn't elaborate and Annalise decided he just wasn't much for talking. “How did your friend come to get shot? Does it have anything to do with the Landis brothers?”

The man looked at her sharply. “Why would you ask that?”

“There was a posse after them until today. They lost track of the gang on the other side of the Eight of Hearts ranch. I thought maybe the hands there might've had a run-in with them.”

“As a matter of fact, it does have to do with them.”

“I'm sorry.” Those outlaws had hurt a lot of people. “I'll do everything I can for your friend.”

“Thank you, ma'am.”

He fell silent after that. Impatient to tend the wounded man so she could get home and sort out what she wanted to do, Annalise found her thoughts on Matt. He could easily have been hurt just like the man she was planning to tend.

Despite being angry and hurt, she was thankful he hadn't been injured. Fool that she was, she loved him. She had never stopped, but he didn't trust her and she didn't know how to change that. She didn't know if there was any way to change it.

She had taken another chance on him, on letting go of the past, but he couldn't do the same. They obviously couldn't make things between them work.

The realization filled her with a mix of sadness and regret, and that just made her angry all over again. She
felt as though she would never stop being mad at him. And now there was the baby to consider. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Even though Matt's visits to town didn't happen with any regularity, Annalise knew she wouldn't be able leave their past behind if she had to live with the threat of seeing him hanging over her head.

She couldn't stay here, not in the same town. And now she felt as though she couldn't go. That made her angry, too.

 

An hour later, Matt, Russ and Cora had finished changing Pa's bandage and sheets then had returned the man to his bed. As they all stood outside his bedroom, Matt was cussing himself. He would never forget the devastation, the raw stark pain on Annalise's face.

How could he have hurt her again like that? Why had he said those things? Especially when he didn't believe them. How could he have doubted her once more?

He was a fool. He could kick his own butt over this. What if he'd killed everything between them? There was no reason to think he hadn't.

With their father fed and now asleep again, Russ scowled at Matt. “You shouldn't have let her leave. Not like that.”

Cora peered around Russ.

Matt looked at both of them. “Did you hear everything?”

“All of us did.” His stepmother's mouth flattened dis-approvingly. “The window was open.”

“Then you know I didn't
let
her go.”

“Hmm.” Cora crossed her arms, scrutinizing him.

Irritation flickered across Russ's features. “You're an idiot.”

“You think I don't know that?” Matt snapped.

Cora's hazel eyes softened the tiniest bit. “You better try to do something about it before it's too late.”

“Like what?” A bone-deep fear that he'd gone too far settled inside him. “She hates my guts.”

“For starters, get your hind end to Whirlwind.” J.T. cleared his throat, announcing he was awake. “Even if Annalise knew you didn't know about the surgery, she wouldn't have told you.”

At his father's words, Matt squeezed past Cora and Russ, moving into the bedroom. The other two followed.

J.T.'s eyes met Matt's. “I asked her not to tell either of you and she gave me her word. If you want to be mad at somebody, put it on me.”

Pa didn't deserve his anger either. Only one person did.

“No.” He squared his shoulders. “I should put it on me. I know Annalise didn't lie, not then, not now.”

“Then why did you accuse her of it?” his brother asked.

Because he'd reacted out of fear and panic. Because he'd been ambushed by the memory of their mother dying of a tumor. Matt glared at Russ. “Seeing Pa like that scared me. It scared you, too.”

“True, but—”

“It was like I couldn't stop saying those things.” Matt's gut twisted into a vicious knot.

Russ moved closer to the bed. “Why would you ask Annalise to keep the surgery from us, Pa?”

J.T. shifted carefully on his stomach. His eyes were alert and focused. His gaze encompassed both of his sons before he sent a pleading look to Cora.

Holding up her hands, she shook her head. “It was your idea, mister. You can explain.”

What did that mean? Matt waited expectantly.

“Russ already feels bad enough about me being in this condition. I thought if I took complete responsibility, he wouldn't blame himself if something went wrong.”

Knowing how deep his brother's guilt went, Matt shook his head. “I don't think it would work.”

“Well, it's neither here nor there now,” J.T. said briskly. “What you should be concerned about is Annalise.”

“I apologized. Or tried to. Maybe y'all didn't hear her response, but it wasn't forgiving. She doesn't want anything to do with me. Can't say I blame her.”

“It's true you have a lot of making up to do,” Cora said.

As if Annalise would ever let him close enough to do it. “She said she'd be back tomorrow.”

The other three shook their heads in unison.

“You can't wait,” J.T. said adamantly.

Cora nodded. “You've got a choice. And it
is
a choice.”

“There. I second what Cora said.” Pa looked pleased.

Russ nodded. “Yeah, you better git and git now. Don't let pride stand between you.”

“Like you almost did with Lydia?”

“Right.”

Matt had never learned exactly what had come between his brother and sister-in-law before they'd gotten together, but he did know Russ had suspected her of keeping something from him.

“It's not pride.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I really hurt her. Part of me feels like I should respect her wishes and keep my distance.”

“If the two of you are really finished, you'll be keeping plenty of distance.”

“I don't know.”

“Son, do you want to wonder the rest of your life if you should've apologized once more?”

No, he didn't.

She might be done with him after the way he'd ripped into her, the deep hurt he'd inflicted, but his family was right. He couldn't just let her walk out of his life.

“I'm going after her.”

“That's my boy.”

Before he left, he squeezed his father's shoulder. “Thanks, Pa.”