Whirl (Ondine Quartet Book 1) (34 page)

"I tapped into a deeper part of my Virtue and
it gave me the strength and speed to fight them."

It wasn't detailed, but it was the truth.

Nexa gazed at me thoughtfully and something
new sparked in Rhian's eyes. An almost hopeful look.

"You were able to use your Virtue to fight
Aquidae, just like Naida did?" she asked.

Marcella had warned me not to utter a single
word about it, and yet she'd gone and told quite a few others.

I nodded. "And I think I figured something
out."

"What?" Nexa prompted.

I took a deep breath. "Ondines with Virtues
can't use their magic directly against Aquidae. But they can use it
indirectly. My mother used her power on herself. She saw a few
seconds into her own future to anticipate what would come
next."

I looked down on the floor, concentrating on
a spot on the rug. "I used my Empath on Haverleau. By tapping into
the emotions of elementals, I was able to access their collective
magic and use that to empower myself and my blade."

Rhian stared at me. "And you believe ondines
with other Virtues could learn to do the same?"

"Yes. It's a matter of training. For example,
Kinetics could learn to control a
kouperet
and aim it for
the Origin. And Teleporters could transport themselves or a
gardinel or chevalier and catch an Aquidae by surprise. As long as
ondines use their Virtue indirectly, they could have enough of an
advantage to fight back."

"And what about ondines without Virtues?"
Nexa asked, her brows raised. "Most have only simple elemental
magic."

"I had another idea about that," I said
slowly. "Aquidae move fast, but do they move faster than a speeding
bullet?"

Tristan's words during the recruit training
class had been the genesis of the idea. He'd said attacking the
Origin was like trying to target a bull's eye.

"What do you mean?" Rhian's brows
furrowed.

"The only weapon that kills Aquidae is a
kouperet
," I told her. "It works because of the
Essence-infused silver. What if we created Essence-infused silver
bullets? Ondines could practice marksmanship with rifles that shoot
at long distances. Even if they don't get the bullet into the
Origin, hitting an Aquidae anywhere with those bullets would cause
them significant pain and slow them down. Enough for a gardinel or
chevalier to stake them."

I glanced up to see Nexa and Rhian exchanging
looks. "Shooting allows ondines to fight at a distance, without
engaging in dangerous hand-to-hand combat."

For a few moments, no one said anything.

Rhian's expression was unreadable. "Thank you
for the information,
sondaleur
. It has been
most…interesting."

God, I wanted to scream at her. Make her show
some reaction, some emotion. I wanted to yell and shout about what
it had cost me to arrive at those deductions.

But none of it would bring Ryder back.

"I have a request."

Her eyes widened slightly. "Yes?"

My jaw was tight. "I'd like extra protection
at all times on Chloe Moreaux and Aubrey Rossay."

I knew they weren't going to be happy about
this. Chloe and Aubrey would resent having babysitters just as much
as I did. But I wasn't going to take a chance.

The Shadow operated by preying upon the bonds
and relationships elementals had with one another. No matter how
much I'd resisted getting too close, Chloe and Aubrey were now
stuck right in the middle of this mess. They were also targets.

Nexa sighed and shut her eyes. Suddenly, she
looked as weary as Jeeves did.

Rhian gave a slight nod. "Of course."

I had just stepped to the door when she
called out.

"Kendra."

I stilled. It was the first time I'd ever
heard her say my name.

"I'm very sorry about your friend."

At first I wasn't sure if I could speak. It
hurt too much when she called him my friend.

"His name was Ryder. Ryder DePaul." I don't
know why it was so important to me that she remember his name.

For the first time, Rhian's hazel eyes
softened. It was with something I'd never seen before. Sadness, I
thought.

"I'm very sorry about what happened to
Ryder."

I held her gaze for a moment, then gave a
brief nod of acknowledgement and left.

***

A week after Ryder's funeral, I
went back to classes. Pelletier had given me time off the rest of
the school year in order to recuperate. I refused to take him up on
it. Only two weeks of classes remained and I didn't want to fall
behind more than I already was. I needed to stay busy and focused.
It was the only way to keep my mind off things that were eating me
up inside.

I'd always been notorious, but the whispering
and comments that surrounded me in the past were nothing compared
to now. As usual, I wasn't sure how true the stories were. But
details of the incident in Lyondale reached every single ear and I
now walked around with a very strange feeling of being a
celebrity.

I ignored it. The renown had come at a
terrible price and I wasn't comfortable being known for something I
wished had never happened in the first place.

On Monday afternoon, I strode into the
chevalier combat technique class. Dressed in workout clothes, I
joined the rest of the recruits on the mat, standing in the spot
Ryder normally took.

Gabriel glanced at me speculatively for a
moment, but didn't say anything and neither did anyone else. No one
could question my right to be there any longer and my performance
in class proved it.

In addition to formally joining the chevalier
training program, I continued my morning sessions with Julian. Now
that the issue of speed was resolved, he taught me advanced
maneuvers, especially with the use of my dagger.

I also continued my nightly sessions at the
Training Center after curfew. At this point, I didn't care what
rules I broke or who had a problem with what I did.

I was surprised no one bothered me.
Chevaliers continually went in and out of the facility, but no one
harassed me for being there after curfew. I suspected Gabriel had
something to do with it.

Sweat dripped down my face as I practiced the
new turns, lunges, and jumps Julian had shown me this week. The
adrenaline and fiery strength of my Virtue surged through my
veins.

I jumped and spun, pushing my heart and lungs
to pump faster and harder, willing my screaming leg muscles to
move. This was the only way I could ignore the crushing pain, the
guilt that it was my fault. I wanted to punish myself, make my body
hurt in the way his must have hurt in those hours before his
death.

"You need to rest. You're still pushing
yourself too hard."

The low voice caused a different kind of
ache. Tristan leaned against the wall, his expression filled with
utter seriousness and care.

Every night I listened to the playlist he'd
loaded onto the iPod. Bach's music was like a phoenix song for my
pain, a balm soothing the jagged edges inside me that felt torn and
shredded.

I bit my lip, holding back the sudden wetness
in my eyes, and quickly turned away.

"I wasn't injured. My body has no problem
with training." My voice didn't even shake.

I walked to one of the benches lining the
wall and sat with my back to him.

"It's not your body I'm worried about."

He sat facing me. I looked at his gorgeous
face and something inside me shifted. My heart trembled as I
remembered how he found me at the warehouse. How his voice had
called me out of that hate and pain-filled darkness. How my soul
would recognize him anywhere.

"You killed your first Aquidae," he said
softly. "And you made a profound discovery about yourself and your
abilities. It's a lot to handle."

A tightness suddenly filled my chest and I
swallowed hard. "I…I finally understood, you know."

"Understood what?"

"What you and Julian were saying. I found my
magical energy, the intuition that Julian spoke about. I tapped
into it because I used my Virtue to open myself up to everyone, to
the people I knew in Haverleau. And I suddenly understood that all
of them were fighting with me, that our magic was connected. I used
Empath to absorb the power that bound us together and it burned
through me."

Tristan listened, his eyes intent.

Suddenly I had to get it out. I wanted to
explain everything. Because more than anyone else in my life, I
knew he would be the only one who would understand.

"It flowed though me like liquid fire.
And…and I could feel it. I could feel everyone and their hopes,
worries, and concerns. It fueled the magic. And suddenly the
Aquidae seemed so slow. And my blade glowed with Essence."

I looked away from him.

"But at the same time, there was this
coldness. That black, hard thing you wanted me to find. The one
that keeps you focused, the one that makes it possible for you
to…to stab a little girl and an old man. The one that really allows
you to kill the Aquidae." My voice choked at the end and I could
feel the tears brimming my eyes.

Tristan sighed. He cupped my chin and tilted
my face up to him. One tear, the only tear I'd shed since it all
happened, leaked out of my eye and his thumb gently brushed it
away.

"I'm sorry." His voice was filled with
sincere sorrow and empathy. "When I found you there, I just…"
Tristan stopped, exhaling deeply. "I always knew how strong you
are, how powerful you are. But when you lose someone you care
about, it's never easy."

All the guilt shoved down inside me gushed
out. "It's my fault he's dead." My throat burned. "Just like the
deaths at the Governor's Ball, just like how I put Chloe and Aubrey
in danger. It was my fault. They wanted me and innocent people got
killed."

"Oh, Kendra. No." Tristan's arms wrapped
around me, pulling me to him. It reminded me of the day I held him
here in this room, wanting to take away his pain. "Those deaths
were not your fault. The Aquidae kill because it's in their nature
to do so. Whether or not you were here, they would still be
attacking and trying to kill those of us in Haverleau. You can't
blame yourself."

I pulled away slightly. "I should have done
something. I should've been stronger, faster, better —" I stopped,
afraid to say more in case something stupid came out of my
mouth.

How could I explain? Death stalked me,
turning everyone near me into a walking target. It wouldn't end
until either the Shadow or I took the other out.

"Anyway, don't worry." My voice was thick.
"I'm recovering. I'll be fine."

Tristan held my gaze. He knew I was
bullshitting. But there was no chastisement or reproach. Just
understanding.

He took a deep breath and his dark eyes
turned solemn.

"Kendra, I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving
Haverleau."

It was as though he punched me right in the
stomach.

Pain rippled through me.

Time stopped.

"Wha…Why? When?" I asked weakly. "Are you
coming back?"

"Tonight. And…" he hesitated. "I'm needed
right now in my kingdom. As crown prince, I have to tend to issues
that are affecting my people. I'm not sure how long it'll
take."

He was leaving Haverleau. He was leaving
me
. Some part of me had believed that would never happen.
I'd always just assumed he'd be nearby watching over me. Of course,
I'd always known that he was a prince who was responsible for his
people. But it was one thing to know that and another thing to
accept what that really meant.

My mind returned to that day at the cove.

"Look, if this is about what happened — " I
began.

"That was a mistake. One that will never
happen again."

That word again, mistake. It burned a hole
right through me.

"Sure didn't seem like a mistake at the
time," I said evenly.

"Kendra, you're a beautiful ondine. You're
very attractive." The way he said it didn't make me happy. It was
that tone of, "You're really great, but…" I did it to guys all the
time.

He shook his head. "But I lost control at the
cove. It shouldn't have happened."

"So that's the reason why you're leaving?
Because you made a mistake?"

"No." He gazed at me, his expression hard and
unrelenting. "I'm leaving because it's more important for me to be
there than here with you."

And that was it.

Everything — anger and pain and sorrow — all
disappeared in a flash. I was empty. There was absolutely nothing
inside me, nothing at all. Something flickered in Tristan's eyes,
almost as though he regretted what he had said, but then it passed
and his face was its usual royal blankness.

"Right. Got it." My voice sounded as hollow
as I felt.

It was my own fault for wanting and needing
impossible things in the first place. Those feelings had gotten
Ryder killed and put Chloe and Aubrey in danger. Those feelings now
left me looking like an idiot.

Tristan sat there for a moment longer, the
determination in his eyes never wavering. Finally, he stood and
headed for the door.

"Why did you give me the music?" I asked, my
voice so soft I wasn't sure it would even carry through the air.
I'm not sure why those words came out of my mouth. But I needed to
know before he left.

I guess he heard because he stopped.

"There is so much horror and pain in our
world. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is hang on to beauty. It
reminds us we're still alive."

I sat there for a long time, feeling dead
inside.

By the time I got up, Tristan was long
gone.

The spidery pink and orange rays of dawn
crept through the windows, gradually pushing aside the shadows. I'd
spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, drowning in my
thoughts. Moments replayed over and over again in my head like a
broken film. My mind and body were exhausted, but I couldn't give
them the rest they craved.