Where You Are (11 page)

Emma

Getting out of that tiny dress and the five thousand pins they used to fit it to me like a glove took
forever
, so I’m the last one out of the studio. Three black cars idle at the curb, waiting to transport the nine of us to the hotel. Brooke climbs into the first car behind Tadd, and I’m both relieved and annoyed at myself for
being
relieved that Graham isn’t with her.

Brooke is a force of nature. The last thing any sane girl would want is to get into a tug-of-war with her over a guy. Graham says they’re just friends, and I have to trust him if this is going to work. No matter how beautiful she is. No matter how familiar her casual touches seem to be. No matter how many times I catch her looking at him like he’s on her room service menu.

As I’m standing near the last car, scanning for Graham as covertly as possible, someone says, “
Pssst
.” I bite my lip to stifle a yelp when Graham snakes an arm around my waist and drags me into the car. MiShaun, chatting with Jenna a few feet away, raises an eyebrow as I disappear into the back seat, backwards. She bends to see who’s snatched me off of the sidewalk. When she spots Graham, her wide eyes tell me I can expect to be quizzed about this later.

“Graham,” I hiss, laughing. “You just made me look like that hapless character in every horror film who’s dumb enough to stand right next to the darkened basement doorway.”

Grinning mischievously, he kisses the back of my neck, withdrawing his arm before anyone else sees. Thank God for opaque windows. “So you’re the expendable cheerleader, and I’m the demon, or werewolf…?”

“Or the mentally unbalanced guy with the chainsaw, yeah.” Aware that I’ll have to sit up straight and keep my hands to myself once someone joins us, I press back against him for a moment, leaning my head onto his shoulder and tracing the top of his hand with my fingers.

“I was wondering if you’d want to check out Griffith Park in the morning.” His question is a breath in my ear as Jenna moves to stand by the open door, still talking to MiShaun. He flips his hand over and my index finger maps the lines of his palm. “We’d have to go early to get back in time to leave for the second shoot.”

I nod. “I’ve been to Griffith, but not for years. My family used to go hiking there.”

My memories of hiking in Griffith have been augmented with photos my parents took there when I was very young. Some are from weeks—days perhaps—before Mom began to get sick. To be honest, I’m not sure if my memories of Griffith Park—or my mother—are genuine. Almost every clear recollection I have of her was caught on film. Perhaps the real memories faded away long ago, supplanted by the unchanging photographs.

“If you climb high enough, you can see all of Hollywood,” I say. “And the sign.”

My childhood scrapbook contains a series of photos Mom took of me near my birthday every year, standing in the same exact spot on some unspecified trail of Griffith. In each of these, the Hollywood sign is stark white against the hill in the background, my own personal growth chart. In the last one, I’d turned six. Her quick downward spiral didn’t allow her to return, and Dad either forgot the tradition or didn’t have the heart to keep it up.

“That’s what I read—sounds cool. I’ll rent a car and have it brought around at, say, 5:30? We can pack coffee thermoses and catch the sunrise.” He takes my hand in his, fingers stroking the back of my arm. His eyes catch and hold mine. “Unless it would be too painful for you to go there.”

I shake my head, twisting my mother’s ring around and around on my finger. “No. I’d like to go with you.”

When Jenna starts to get in, I straighten from leaning against Graham, my hands folding primly in my lap. I feel more than hear him chuckle at my suddenly proper posture. Just before Jenna sits down, I hear Reid’s voice. “Hey, Jenna—Brooke wants you to ride with her. Wanna switch?”

“Oh. Okay, sure.”

I’m wondering at the oddity of Reid delivering a message for Brooke as he slides in next to me. Graham’s thigh tenses against mine.

“Hey,” Reid says, sticking a hand out to Graham. “How’re you doing, man?”

“Good,” Graham answers, reaching over. I sit for two surreal seconds with their hands clasped just above my lap, tension radiating from them both, though neither one’s expression betrays it.

Swinging his hair from his eyes, Reid glances at me and winks before returning his attention to Graham. His knee presses against mine as he leans forward. “Got any new projects lined up?”

My face warms as Graham’s fist clenches and unclenches once before settling on his leg. “Not right now. I’m finishing up my last semester at Columbia. You?”

“Nothing ’til fall—just trying to get into decent shape before then. I’m supposed to do some of my own stunts in the next flick. Hopefully the ones that won’t kill me.” One side of his mouth turns up and he glances at me again.

“Cool,” Graham says.

Reid clears his throat, looks back at Graham. “So—theatre degree?”

“English Lit.”

“Ah.”

Having reached the end of conversable topics, Reid sits back and they both fall silent while I sit mutely between them, contemplating how the hell I got myself into this incredibly awkward position.

When we reach the hotel, Reid slips out, turning and offering his hand. Without thinking, I take it. Pulling me alongside him, he places his opposite palm at my lower back as he smiles for the paparazzi gathered around the entrance while our bodyguards ensure that we get to the door unmolested. I have no chance to look back for Graham until we reach the lobby, at which point Reid drops his hand from my back. “We’re all meeting in my room in a little while—you’re coming, right?”

Before I reply, he turns and looks past Graham, whose eyes connect with mine. Our hours to be alone are dwindling down. Brooke walks up behind Graham, her hand coming to rest on his arm, arguably unintentional, if she didn’t do it so habitually. “Hey,” she says.

“Brooke, you told Emma and Graham about tonight, right?” Reid asks no trace of the hostility—let alone the desire to maim each other permanently—that usually colors every word they say to each other.

Graham appears as astonished as I am at this friendly exchange, especially when Brooke replies, “Oh, shit, I forgot,” without biting Reid’s head off first. Linking her arm with Graham’s, she smiles up at him, her perfect faux-tan and red-nailed talons standing out against his paler skin. “Mixer in Reid’s room!
You
have to come.” She turns her toothpaste-ad smile on me, saying, “Oh, and you too, Emma,” like an afterthought.

The desire to stomp on her foot returns, a hundred times stronger than it was this morning. Worse, her calculating smile says she’s more than aware of it.

*** *** ***

REID

Watching Brooke and Emma face off is possibly the most involuntarily hot thing I’ve ever witnessed. They’re subtle, and perfectly civil to each other, while under the surface lurks a murderous biting, kicking, hair-pulling, bitch-slapping violence. The only thing that would have made it better—much better, in fact—is if
I
was the inspiration for those vicious feelings. But no. It’s all for Graham.

I sort of get it. I mean, he’s good-looking. And he’s got that mysterious element about him that chicks are drawn to. I know his protectiveness is attractive to Brooke. When she and I were together and I got the slightest bit possessive of her—which, granted, has never come naturally for me—she loved it. In fact, the more jealous I was, the more controlling I acted, the more she liked it. Kind of freaked me out a little, actually.

***

“You’re flirting with her too much in front of Graham.” Brooke walks through my door a quarter hour early, issuing unrequested critiques of my progress. “If you make him jealous before anything happens between Graham and me, you’ll
never
get her away from him.”

I smirk. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. And that’s not what happened
last
time.”

She turns, arms crossed under her breasts and wearing her patented I-know-better-than-you expression, stopping when her eyes flick over my bare chest. I haven’t yet buttoned the shirt I threw on after my shower. Clearing her throat and averting her eyes to anything in the room but me, she retorts, “Last time, he was fighting falling for her. Now he’s not. The only way he’ll give her up is if she falls into bed with
you
. And since you were a big
fail
on that last fall—before she even knew what a man-whore you are, I think we can safely assume
that
isn’t going to happen easily.”

I take a slow breath. No way am I letting her know how much I want to test the challenge she just threw down, just because she tossed it at me. She’s probably correct, though—neither of them is going to cave easily. “Shit, Brooke, if you think it’s so impossible, why bother?”

She glares at me. “I told you. I want him. I’m
right
for him, and it’s not impossible. It’s just going to take shrewd planning and careful execution, and I don’t want you screwing it up.”

The combination of a hot ex-lover alone in my room and the cleavage-flaunting way her arms are crossed is killing me. With effort, I cut my eyes away from her heaving chest and deceptively flawless face and pour a shot of whatever the hell is sitting on my dresser.

“How much attention have you been paying to following your own orders, Brooke? Emma has
definitely
noticed the fact that you can’t keep your hands off of him. As far as condemning your ingenious plan before it gets off the ground, that will do it. If she feels threatened and talks to him about his relationship with you, this whole little plot could be toast.”

I watch her face in the mirror over the dresser. A crease appears between her brows, her self-confidence slipping faintly. “How do you know? That she’s noticed anything, I mean.”

What I wonder is how Brooke
hasn’t
noticed. I thought girls were better tuned to each other than that. “I was standing right next to her, and I’m observant.” She makes a noise of derision I choose to ignore. “She’s
noticing
. So cool it yourself, or you may have to give
my
bed a try if you want to get laid.” If the objects of our affections weren’t showing up in five minutes, I would give that proposition a more enthusiastic effort.

“Another offer to sleep with you? How sweet. I’m flattered. Have you forgotten what I told you last time?” It’s almost impossible to associate this Brooke with the girl she was when I met her. Almost.

“I remember.” I saunter closer, but she doesn’t budge. She’s always been tall and thin—willowy, George would say. When I was fourteen and she was fifteen, we were almost eye to eye up close. I’ve got several inches on her now. With her arms locked under her breasts, the view from my vantage point is greatly improved. “I also remember what we were like together, even if we were just inexperienced kids.” I shrug. “Well,
one
of us was inexperienced.”

She’s silent, but her eyes are furious. Every time we start to get into it, I want her to feel what I felt when I saw the photos and read the story that ended us. But that’s not possible. She has no heart, and she managed to stomp the shit out of mine years ago. I’m playing games with a viper and I damn well know it. I should feel sorry for Graham, but I don’t really know him, he’s got a girl I want, and I’m in the mood to be petty.

“Look. We’ve got time before the premiere. She and I have an interview schedule from hell, but that means we’ll be around each other, a
lot
, without Graham’s interference. I suggest you work on him from the same angle. He can’t hang around LA—he’s got school. Isn’t he graduating or something? Why don’t you show up in New York for that. Hang around after.”

She nods, her poker face firmly in place. “I’d already considered doing that.”

“Good. Let’s do it, then. Divide and conquer.”

She’s so outwardly cool, but her breaths are too shallow. “I still say don’t push her until I get to Graham. She’ll turn you down on principle.”

“Gotcha.” We’re six inches apart, and still she isn’t backing away.

“I’m serious, Reid.” She puts one hand up, to stop me, I suppose, but her hand is on bare skin and her eyes widen and I know we both feel the surge.

“So am I.”

She stares up at me like I’m some sort of twisted riddle, and then a knock sounds on the door and she jumps, muttering, “Jesus,” under her breath.

I button the shirt as I walk to the door. There’s something gratifying about making an ex want you, even for a second.

GRAHAM

I didn’t sleep in Emma’s room last night.

There were no let’s-get-hammered games in Reid’s room since we have the final photo shoot today, but Brooke had no trouble convincing Tadd to man the bar and shake up margaritas. Even though straight-up shots were out, everyone had enough tequila to tamp down inhibitions and loosen tongues. And Emma and I had just enough to be hazardous.

I took one look at her half-mast eyes and knew I’d fail any test of having her in bed with nothing but boxers and t-shirts between us. Worse? I
wanted
to fail it, and we’d spent the whole evening not touching.

My sexual history began with Zoe, followed by a self-imposed dry spell waiting for Cara to be born, and Zoe to come back around—which didn’t happen. Next up, a sampling of indiscriminate college hookups. Nothing has been ultimately satisfying, and while I was capable of feeling turned on and wanting a physical connection, I never felt anything more intense. Nothing deeper, nothing emotionally linked. Not until Emma. By the time I left her standing in that airport last October, I wanted so much with her that it scared the hell out of me. I hoped it would fade with time, and after the
VF
photo shoot in March, I felt confident I was getting over it.

And then there she was, a month later—standing in that damned coffee shop, our eyes locked over Cara’s head. My daughter had demanded hot chocolate after her dance rehearsal, shoving her cold little fingers under my sweater to prove her need for it. If we’d not stopped exactly there, exactly then, Emma and I would have never crossed paths when I didn’t have my guard up. I’m not sure if I believe in fate, but this could be evidence of it.