Where Would I Be Without You (19 page)

"That can be done.  Want to start looking?  I was going to tell you I've been looking, but you've been spending every extra second finishing this management course."  He kissed the side of my
neck, and I let out a soft moan.

"Yeah.  I mean, we can
look, but I don't want to move into the house until after we are married.  What would your Catholic relatives think?"  I teased.

"Who
cares?  They already know that I moved into your apartment, and I know you and Marion have spent the last two weeks nonstop talking about wedding plans instead of your typical baby talk.  Carl told me.  Not to mention the talk in the kitchen today with you and my sisters, and my mother
at the brunch table.  With the way you guys have so much planned out; we could get married next week."  He teased.

"Ok."  I let it out there so calm and collected that I wasn't sure if he heard.

When he finally turned me in his arms towards him and looked me in the eyes, I saw his excitement.  "Really?  You mean that?  Because if you do, I'll pay the church extra to get us in next weekend."

I laughed.  "Well, not next weekend.  But I think you've shown me the most support on this
management course.  How would getting married now make any difference?"  I sat back down on the cushion seat, facing him and held out my new engagement ring, looking at it in awe.  "Besides, life gets off course and having you by my side as my husband makes it that much easier to deal with.  This living in sin thing is killing my Catholic side of the family, well except for my aunt, but I don't think she is a Catholic, she just says she is to keep the family off her back.  I have a good feeling that you will help me no matter what career or family decision I make in the future.  I love my job as it is, and I only took the management course for my mom, and well for Wally too, but I don't know if I really want that job.  I do want to finish the courses though, just so I see it through, and in case I change my mind.  Because I am a woman after all, and we tend to do that sometimes."  We both laughed.

"As long as you don't change your mind about me."  He joked.

"Not a prayer.  And if I must confess, Marion and I have been sneaking in wedding talk here and there, we couldn't help ourselves.  However, you know me; I'll make a list and organize, and we could be married soon."

I felt the warmth of his lips touch mine,
and then I watched him sit back down.  "I love you."  He said it with a dreamy sound to his voice.

Just as he professe
d his love to me for the tenth time that night, lightning flashed across the sky causing an image to flash before like the lightning.  The internal image of me as a troublemaker in my life fizzled away and was replaced with an image of Mason and me as a married couple, and helping each other out, no matter what problem arises.

I
know I have caused more trouble in my life, more times than I can count.  I know I always had this needless pursuit to push away anyone who might actually love me for who I am.  Here before me was a man who was telling me he loves me for who I am, I pushed him away like a test, and he passed with flying colors - all straight A's.  His excitement for our future together was the best confirmation a woman could ever ask for.

The
next loud clap of the thunder that came before the next flash of lightning brought me back to Mason, looking at me tenderly, holding my hand while we sat on the bench.  Before me was a man whom I fell head over heels, literally, just from the sight of him.  His first flirt, to me ending it with a kiss, sent me into a tailspin, and now, he has shown me he is just as committed to me as he is to his career, his family and their relationship, and mine as well.  How could I not want this for myself?  Could I be so stupid as to push him away again as to some test of his love?  No.  I am thirty now, and I left all that lesson learning shenanigans behind me; I hope!

The End

"You can live your whole life judging people or you can live it with an open heart and open mind.  If someone is toxic or judgmental than leave them to their own accord, do not subject yourself to their behavior.  Be the person you want to be.  Find it in your heart to strive forward with what is best for you."  CJ Hawk -
May the wings of freedom lift you higher.

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