Where Words Fail (8 page)

“Not that bad!” She squawked.

“No, just release something about us rehearsing for an upcoming video or a show or something. Spin it. It’s what we pay you for! I’m not pregnant. Derek didn’t use drugs because he was in love with me, hell, I am more of a sister to him. The bands NOT breaking up, nothing to worry about. Shit like this happens all the time and it isn’t that bad.”

“Fine.” Blowing out a breath and sighing, she continued. “So, what was the reason you skipped the after show festivities? And those last songs! People have that online now too. All of it goes together with the you and Jameson thing!”

God, no one was going to let that go were they? “Oh my God! I was having a bad night so I skipped out early. I’ve seen people do worse things more frequently! Hell I pay people who do worse. And I sang a few songs. I rocked those fucking songs by the way. I did what I do best. I gave the people the show they paid to see. People seriously need to stop seeing things that aren’t there.”

“Where are you right now? The boys said you weren’t on the bus and that I should talk to you about this.”

“We’re just outside of Portland. We’ll be in Bangor in a few hours.”

“Ok, I’ll have everything out by the time you get there. Now... Why aren’t you on the bus, Abby?”

“I got a hotel room. I wanted to sleep in a bed that wasn’t moving and wasn’t surrounded with guys and groupies for one night. Is that alright with you?” My voice was snippety, and she picked up on it. She stated that everything would be fine and told me to call her if I needed anything. Before hanging up Maggie promised to email me the statement before she sent it out.

Some days, days like today, I wonder why I ever wanted to do this. Why wasn’t I satisfied on the other side of the booth like Alex? I mean, I loved the technical aspect of making music. The soundboards and putting things together, making it sound completely perfect before people heard it. But there’s something about singing in front of a crowd. Feeling the music so loud around you that you can actually feel it pounding in your chest. Knowing that everyone is there just to see what you’ve got in store for them. That makes me whole. I don’t think I could handle never feeling the pounding in my chest or the almost panic attacks I have before I step on stage every night again.

Alex was that guy. He loved being behind the scene. Right after graduation he applied to school to become a recording engineer, and he has spent the last four years building one of the busiest recording studios in Nashville. He’s worked with some of the best bands and singers out there. I was content helping out around the studio, learning how everything worked and taking care of Izzy while Alex was working. It wasn’t until he was working on the sound system for a local talent contest set up by a local radio station that I became involved. One of the bands was a no show, and they had a spot to fill.

Alex
begged
me
to help him out. He had been recording me singing in the studio for a few months so he knew I had it in me. Just stupid stuff, songs we wrote for Izzy, things for her to keep forever. Things that Alex and I never had from the people we loved. Caving, because I would always do anything for him, I called AJ and made him come too. He had been playing drums for years and jumped at the chance to play for this crowd.

When he showed up, he grabbed me and swung me around. He knew I would be petrified, so he tried his hardest to be excited enough for the both of us. He had been smart enough to stop by my house and grab my guitar. An hour and a half later, after watching some amazing talent, we were grabbed out of our seats. This wasn’t a country show. It was a talent contest for up and coming rock bands, and I didn’t know if I had that in me. But I damn sure wasn’t going to let Alex or AJ down...

We didn’t have a name, hell, we weren’t even a band until two hours ago, so they made us come up with something on the spot. The first thing that popped into our heads was what we wrote down on the list for the announcer to call us by for the night. Who knew that what we wrote down would stick so well for a band?

“Please welcome to the stage... Thirty Ought Six!!!!” And as they say, the rest is history.

Jameson

God, I think I’m going insane. It hasn’t even been a full twenty four hours since I’ve seen her, and I’m having withdrawals. It’s fucking sad. I spent all of last night hanging out on the bus. Just sitting there on the couch drinking and waiting for her to come back to the bus. But she never did. I called and texted her all night. The texts were left unanswered, and the calls went straight to voicemail. I didn’t even know if she was safe, and I think that’s what was killing me the most.

I never wanted to hurt her in the first place. If I knew I was auditioning for her band, I would have turned around and left before I even got there… I should have walked away the second our eyes met on the bus that first night. However, the second she opened her mouth to talk to me, I was done for. There was no walking away from her this time.

She was like water after a drought or like a fix to a junkie. I had craved for her the entire time we were apart and just as the feelings had turned to embers, and I was starting to get better... Boom... Fires roaring again. All from one small dose of Abby Irons.

I fell asleep around four with a beer in my hand. Jason and AJ rolled in about an hour before and had instantly crashed after finding out Abby was still gone and trying her phone once. They were both drunk, and although I knew they were worried, they knew she would be ok with Paul.

My phone rattled across the table, Hinders
All American Nightmare
screaming at me in my hungover state. I reached out and grabbed it as fast as I could as my head scolded me for not turning the volume down.

“Evan... What the fuck it’s like...”

“Almost noon dude fuck off. What the hell is going on, on that damn bus you’re calling home?”

“Too much to even comprehend in my state of mind, why?”

“Go google your name or the band’s name right now.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

“Ev... I’m seriously not in the mood.”

“Well I can see why... Why didn’t you tell me you hooked back up with her, or that I was going to be an uncle?” Whoa! That caught my attention. Without even knowing it I was off the couch and booking it for my bunk to grab my laptop. Typing in what he told me to, I was shocked at everything. I guess you could say that I was still getting used to my life in the public eye.

~30-06 band members heat it up~

~new guitar player shot down by Irons~

~Jacobs in rehab because of replacement~

~Irons and Williams Expecting? Their public bashing of each other~

Holy shit, people suck. They had videos of the fight outside the bus last night. Pictures from when I grabbed Abby’s arms to get her to stand still. The captions were horrible and depicted them in the worst way, but I guess that’s what you get with this lifestyle. But come on! Pregnant? I’ve been here less than three weeks! And Derek went to rehab because of me? I’d never even met the dude till he was ready to check himself in.

“Based on the fact that you’re silent, which you never are I’m thinking you’re reading them?”

“People are sick dude...”

“Wait! There’s a new one... Says it’s a statement from the band’s publicist.”

Regarding last night’s events that transpired between Abby Irons and Jameson Williams of Thirty Ought Six outside their bus at the TD Garden. There was no lovers quarrel, no play for affection and there is no baby. Williams met the band members less than three weeks ago when he took over for Derek Jacobs so Jacobs could check himself into rehab. Jacobs was the only member to meet Williams before he started to tour with the band. He was handpicked to replace Jacobs by Jacobs himself. No jealousy towards each other and no romance between Irons and Williams caused him to check himself in. It is public knowledge that Jacobs has had a long running addiction to cocaine. The fight that was witnessed between singer and guitar player of the highly ranked rock band was a simple rehearsal for their upcoming video to go along with their yet to be released single “Fight for Me”, which will be a duet on their new album. The date of release is still TBD. There have also been questions surrounding why Abby Irons was not at the signing scheduled for after the concert at the TD GARDEN in Boston. She apologizes profusely but due to a family emergency, she was unable to attend. An extra tour date will be added in Boston on the next tour. She will be in Bangor, Maine for the final date of the Shotgun Shells and Chevys tour.

“Wow...”

“Yeah dude, you’re gunna have to fill me in when you get home.”

“Yeah... Home...” Home wasn’t where I was headed after tonight. Home was where Abby was. Anywhere else would now just feel like hell.

I raked my fingers through my hair after I hung up the phone. I didn’t know how to process all this but one thing’s for sure… I needed to talk to Abby.

Abby

“Oh God, Tuesday... What am I going to do?” As soon as Paul and I had arrived at the venue in Bangor, I hunted Tuesday down. Hell bent on figuring out why my life seemed to be out to get me. Paul had been great, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes a girl just needs another girl to tell her how to deal. So as soon as I found her, I flung myself down on the couch in the dressing room and began hashing it out while she sorted out wardrobe for tonight. She had already seen all the headlines online this morning, and she had been there for the talk with Paul last night, so I only had to fill her in on a few things, like oh you know... My life nine years ago.

“Well, whore muffin. You’re going to suck it up for tonight. Be the professional we all know and love you as and give this place a concert they won’t forget. You managed one hell of a show last night when all this was fresh in your mind so I’m sure you can muster up one more.” Tuesday always knew just what to say. Starting it off with an insult that wasn’t really an insult to lighten the mood and then throw in all the chips. “But maybe Abby, and this is just me talking as your best friend so don’t fire me or anything... Maybe you should hear him out. Doesn’t have to be this second, but you are kind of in this together now. And you did kind of ok Maggie’s statement about a duet between you two called “Fight for Me”... And I hate to say it because I love you, but it’s going to have to happen sooner or later.”

I groaned. “I know. Ok... I know that. And I wouldn’t have okayed the song thing if I could’ve figured out a way to spin that fight without telling the whole world about our past.”

“Who knows... Maybe if you talk, you’ll... ya know...” The wagging of her eyebrows caught me off guard and made me laugh.

“Never. Gunna. Happen.” I deadpanned.

“Psh... Yeah, sure. Sure.”

“I don’t sleep with people I know. You know that.”

“Abby Irons. You don’t
sleep
with anyone. Hell I know you aren’t getting laid enough. For a rock star who could have her choice of tail anytime of the day, you are one sour grumpy bitch all the time. Go get laid, kiss a stranger, go on a date, give someone your REAL name! ANYTHING! Just do something to either try and get you past him or talk to him and try to figure out what went wrong. Then maybe, you can move on.”

Was she right? Was I having such a hard time moving on because I never knew the reason he left? Was I still in love with him, or the thought of him and how we were before he left?

          
I guess I needed to suck it up and put my big girl panties on and deal with this.

Jameson

I know she’s here. I can feel it. It’s like there’s this hold she has on me that wants to pull me towards her. I know I should leave her alone but everything that’s been building inside me since I left her intensified a hundred times when she walked away from me last night. Correction, ran. When she
ran
away from me, as fast as her short sexy legs would carry her.

I ran into Tuesday in the hall and based on the look she gave me, she either wanted to murder me or pity me. Her eyes kept flickering to the stitches in my cheek, and I figured it was probably a little of both. Which meant that Abby had already gotten around to talking to her.