Where Women are Kings (14 page)

‘Shall we go see the dogs, then?’ Nikki asked.

‘Yes, please!’ Elijah shouted and her colleagues laughed. They knew how long she’d waited for Elijah. And what she’d been through.

She took Elijah’s hand and led him through the door and up the ramp towards the dogs. ‘You have to be quiet,’ she said, ‘and try not to stare too much. Dogs hate people staring at them.’

The first dog, a husky, came to the front of its kennel and raised a paw. ‘Wow! It looks like a wolf.’

‘I know. We’re getting more and more of these dogs at Battersea. We’re not sure why,’ said Nikki.

‘Why is the cage so small?’

‘Well, it’s not a cage,’ said Nikki, ‘more of a temporary kennel. And the dogs can go in and out of the back – look. Also, they get one hour out of their kennel every day. And they love their walks. Look at this,’ Nikki pointed to the
small material pouch hanging on the outside of the kennel. ‘It’s lavender and other herbs to calm the dogs down.’

‘But why do they need calming down?’

Elijah had his face pressed towards the cage bars. He was looking straight at the dog’s eyes and his breathing was getting quicker. Nikki started to feel anxious. What if the dogs triggered some sort of memory in Elijah? Of course, there were parallels. Where were their owners? Where was Elijah’s mum? She scanned the viewing area, the notes above each cage, the one in front of them:

Nikki pulled Elijah towards her. ‘I think we should go to the office. Every single day there is a dog that gets to be the office dog. I bet if we ask really nicely we could take the office dog for a quick walk.’

‘Yes, please!’

They walked quickly out of the viewing area and didn’t look back. Nikki put her arm around Elijah’s shoulder.

*

That afternoon, all Elijah could talk about was the dogs: how the dog they’d taken for a walk was shaped like a sausage and barked at the birds in the park. When Elijah was out of the room, Nikki told Obi how the visit had nearly triggered something in Elijah, the way he’d started getting anxious about the dogs waiting to be rehomed.

‘He’s going to have loads of triggers,’ Obi said. ‘But look
how well you dealt with it.’ He leant towards her and kissed her mouth.

*

But that night a scream filled the house and brought them both running to Elijah’s bedroom. He was covered in sweat, every muscle stiff and tense, his face twisted into a much older face. He was crying and screaming and had red scratches all over his arms.

‘Elijah, what is it? Elijah?’ Nikki ran towards him and put her hand on to his boiling-hot head. She stared at the scratches on his skin. ‘Shall we phone an ambulance?’ She looked at Obi but he was motionless, standing in the doorway, his mouth half open.

Nikki jumped on to the bed and held Elijah close, his body rigid against hers, his eyes far away. ‘Shhhh.’ She rocked him back and forth. But Elijah reached out suddenly and scratched a raw line just below her eye.

She pulled backwards. ‘Elijah! Elijah!’ She touched her face. It stopped hurting almost immediately.

Elijah curled in a ball on the bed. He was sobbing.

‘We should phone for advice, and not crowd him. Remove anything that could be harmful,’ said Obi as he reached for the bedside lamp and moved it away.

Nikki dropped back on to the bed next to Elijah.

‘No,’ said Obi. ‘We mustn’t crowd him.’

But she curled her body around Elijah.

Obi knelt beside the bed. ‘Check his arms,’ he whispered. ‘Does he need some antiseptic or plasters?’

Nikki lifted her head from Elijah’s. ‘He’s not bleeding,’ she said. ‘They’re just shallow scratches.’ She rested against him again. ‘You’re OK, Elijah.’

Elijah’s sobbing quietened down until the only noise was his breathing.

Obi knelt beside the bed. ‘Elijah, do you want to come and sleep in our room?’

‘I don’t think he can hear you,’ she said. ‘You go back to bed and I’ll stay here. You’ve got court first thing.’

Obi coughed. ‘We should ask for advice.’

‘Who’re we going to call at this time? It’s OK,’ said Nikki. ‘Honestly. He was just having a nightmare.’

‘OK, if you’re sure.’ Obi looked at Elijah for a long time. His eyes were closed tight and his breathing was regular. Obi kissed Nikki before switching the light off and leaving the room.

Nikki felt her own heart thumping against Elijah’s back. Ricardo had warned them about rages and that Elijah might lash out, but, since she’d first seen his scars, Elijah had been nothing but calm and loving. She felt the skin underneath her eye. What had happened to her son? She held him close.

Eventually Elijah turned around and faced her. She could see his wide-open eyes in the almost darkness. He looked terrified. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.

‘If we lie close enough,’ she said, ‘you’ll be able to share my dreams and I never have nightmares, only good dreams.’

Nikki couldn’t see Elijah’s smile, but she felt it.

*

‘Thank you for seeing us at short notice,’ Nikki said to Chioma. She liked her already. She had one of those faces that was expressive and open, and, Nikki imagined, truthful. After she’d spoken to Ricardo and told him about the incident, he reassured her it was only to be expected, and that Elijah was acting out his inner anxieties. Nightmares and tantrums
were fairly normal in the early days of placement. But he had told her to get in touch with Chioma as soon as possible and Nikki was glad that he had. She’d only ever seen Chioma through the window before, when dropping Elijah off. Elijah had insisted he didn’t need her to come in with him. He didn’t want her to come in with him.

‘Thanks to you all for coming.’

Elijah looked up at Chioma. Nikki could tell from his body language that he was relaxed around Chioma. His shoulders were relaxed and he was slouching slightly. On the way there in the car, Elijah had been tense. He’d asked Nikki to sit in the back with him and held her hand for the entire journey. Obi, on the other hand, had his shoulders raised up to his ears. He was flicking a pen on, off, on, off.

He had woken up early with a headache and gone rummaging around in the bathroom for a painkiller. ‘But is play therapy enough?’ he’d asked. ‘We still don’t know what he’s dealing with and, with outbursts like this, maybe he needs a more clinical approach.’ He went thudding down the stairs and she heard him banging the cupboards open and shut. She yawned and sat up as he came back into the bedroom again. ‘Maybe it’s time for another psychiatric assessment. He could even benefit from drug therapy.’ He disappeared back into the bathroom and there was a crash as the toothbrush holder fell into the bath and Obi swore. ‘Do we not have any aspirin in this house? Really?’ The bathroom cabinet slammed shut and Obi stood in the doorway. ‘Aspirin?’

Nikki shrugged.

‘I can live with this headache, but what about you?’

‘Come on, Obi,’ she said.

‘I’m serious! Really? There’s no aspirin?’

Aside from making her lose babies, Nikki’s condition made
her susceptible to deep-vein thrombosis, among other nasty conditions, which needed to be kept in check with aspirin. ‘There’ve been other things on my mind,’ she’d said, frowning at him.

He frowned back and they stared at each other for a moment. But then he’d apologised and told Nikki about a new case he’d been dealing with: a woman from the Democratic Republic of Congo who, along with her sisters, had been brutally attacked and raped by men and their guns. One sister had bled to death following the attack. ‘The other had to have reconstructive surgery,’ Obi told her.

Nikki blinked. So that’s what he’d been worrying about. She sighed. ‘What a world we live in. What a world
you
live in.’ The horror of it made her shudder. ‘How do you do it? How do you come home from that?’

He shrugged. ‘I always do my best and, if there’s nothing more I can do, I move on to the next case. I have to. There’s always another case.’

Nikki had curled up against him.

*

‘Right, let’s get started,’ said Chioma. ‘Don’t look so nervous, Dad; Elijah will tell you, there’s nothing to be nervous of here.’ She smiled.

Elijah nodded and Obi laughed. ‘I’m not nervous,’ he said. ‘And we’ll do anything at all,’ he added, ‘to help our son.’
Son
. He put the pen down and smiled.

Chioma nodded back at him. ‘OK, then. Well, today I thought we’d start with some music. Grab yourselves a drum and a stethoscope.’ She pointed to a selection of drums, and a large pile of black doctors’ stethoscopes.

Nikki and Obi looked at each other. ‘Er, OK,’ said Nikki, picking up both.

Elijah jumped up. ‘I love this game!’ he said. ‘These are Nigerian drums.’

Nikki laughed. They all sat in a semicircle, with Chioma opposite. ‘OK, now, Elijah, whenever we’ve done this before, you’ve listened to your own heartbeat, but this time I’d like you to drum to Mum or Dad’s heartbeat.’

Elijah looked at Nikki, then Obi. ‘Who should I choose?’ he asked.

‘Whoever you like. You can have a turn with the other afterwards.’

Elijah picked up his stethoscope and popped the earpieces into his ears. He stretched out and lifted Nikki’s T-shirt, then moved the stethoscope underneath. His fingers were warm. With one hand he held it in place and with the other he began tapping on the drum. The sound was loud and steady and strong. Elijah began rocking his body in time to the beat. Then Nikki rocked with him.

They both started laughing. Obi took his stethoscope and put it on to Elijah’s back, then began drumming too. The sound was quicker and lighter and matched the other drum perfectly. The two drums together sounded exactly like a heart beating. Nikki closed her eyes. She listened to her husband and son, their drumming, her heartbeat. When Chioma told them to stop, Elijah pulled the stethoscope out from underneath Nikki’s T-shirt, but he didn’t move away. Nikki breathed in the smell of Elijah’s skin.

‘That was lovely, Elijah. What about Dad now?’ said Chioma.

Elijah reached his stethoscope up underneath Obi’s shirt. He began tapping a beat. Obi joined in again, drumming on both his and Elijah’s drum, then Chioma grabbed a drum and began too. The room was filled with sound.

When they finished, Obi was breathless.

‘Drumming to heartbeats,’ Nikki said to Obi.

‘I read a piece of research in the
Lancet
about the therapeutic effects of music. It was in last month’s.’ He looked at Chioma.

‘Excellent,’ said Chioma. ‘It’s extremely therapeutic. And, more than that, it’s great fun. What shall we play now? I think you should choose, Elijah.’

‘Mums and dads.’ He beamed and looked at Nikki. ‘Let’s play mums and dads.’

‘Good idea. Another of my favourite games. Who will everyone be?’

‘You be the dog,’ said Elijah, pointing at Chioma, who immediately said, ‘Woof!’

‘And you be the dad –’ pointing to Obi, who smiled and winked – ‘and you be the mum,’ he said, looking up at Nikki.

‘What will you be, Elijah?’

‘Shall I be the baby?’

Nikki glanced at Chioma. ‘Very good idea,’ she said.

They began to play the game. Elijah pretended to cry and Nikki stroked his head, and Obi went out of the room and came back in. ‘I’ve had a terrible day at work,’ he said. ‘Where’s my dinner?’ He laughed.

‘Woof! Woof!’ said Chioma. She was crawling on all fours and pretending to wag an imaginary tail. Nikki imagined it must hurt her knees, crawling around on the floor, but if it did she didn’t seem to mind.

‘Mama,’ said Elijah holding his arms out to Nikki. Nikki pulled him into her arms and stroked his head. Obi walked towards them and placed his hand over Nikki’s, and Chioma smiled.

*

Dinner was salmon baked in tinfoil with sesame oil and soy
sauce, spring onions, chilli, garlic and ginger. Nikki had set aside two small portions of salmon and added only honey to those before baking all the fish in the oven, but when Elijah saw Obi’s fish, he licked his lips. ‘Can I have one like that?’ He looked at his honey salmon and then back at Obi’s plate. He was completely normal, as if the other night had never happened. If Nikki hadn’t been so tired, she’d have thought it was all a dream. The kitchen was alive with spicy, sweet smells and the sound of the family talking over one another. Nikki looked at them all for a few minutes, gathered around the wooden table: Elijah, Obi, Chanel, Jasmin and Obi’s Daddy. It was as if they had always been there together. Elijah was laughing at jokes and whispering with Jasmin, Daddy was holding court and even Chanel seemed to be on her best behaviour. It was light outside and the sun was still shining, but Nikki had lit candles anyway and the scene looked cosy and warm. Obi caught her eye from across the other side of the table and smiled. She’d been a bit angry with him the other night, for standing back and talking rather than simply holding Elijah, and then being more upset about work than his own son, but with Chioma he’d been perfect. She heard again the beating of the drums. She smiled back.

‘I’ll have two plain honey ones,’ said Jasmin. ‘Salmon is good for brain development and, if I am going to be a marine biologist, I need a good brain.’ She reached across the table and pulled Elijah’s fish on to her plate. ‘And I like your honey salmon. It’s much better than Mum’s fish fingers.’

‘Hey!’ said Chanel. ‘That’s Captain Birdseye you’re offending.’

‘Good job you made extra, then,’ said Obi, winking at Nikki.

‘What’s a marine biologist?’ Elijah was already digging
into his dinner, piling couscous on to his plate next to the fish.

‘Marine biologist!’ Chanel laughed. ‘You won’t even do your homework now, so how will you study something like that?’ She was sitting next to Jasmin, but moved away as Jasmin tried to elbow her. ‘Hey! You know that’s true. You’re always trying to get out of your homework.’

‘I am not,’ said Jasmin. She was wearing a T-shirt that said
Pop Star
in pink glitter. ‘Mrs Pullen says I’ve got the best brain in class and, if I applied myself, I could do anything.’