Where There's Smoke (20 page)

Oscar looked at her incredulously. “He hurts you and you defend him?"

The emotions bubbling in her burst to the surface and despite Seth tugging her arm to calm her down, she didn't back away from Oscar.

"I know Seth better than anyone. I've never seen him as upset as I've seen him tonight, so whatever you may think, this is not easy. I know you want what's best for us but you have to let this be between us. Please. But what you're saying about him, it isn't true.” Her breath came fast and shallow. Seth reached for her again and she shook him off.

Oscar set his jaw mutinously, then looked down. “I'm sorry. You're right. I'm sorry. It's just—we love you like a daughter, Lauren. We hate to see you hurting."

She took a deep breath to calm herself. “But he is your son.” She moved away, her first step away from the people who'd been a part of her life from her birth. “I'm going home. Good night."

She turned, squeezing her eyes shut. She hadn't only lost Seth, but she'd never be part of his family again.

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"Escamilla!"

For the first time since joining the fire department, Seth hadn't wanted to come to work. He'd no sooner stepped through the door than Captain Stokes bellowed for him.

He'd already pissed off his family. Crystal hadn't spoken to him since Kim's wedding, Lisette looked at him like she'd lost her hero. And despite Lauren jumping to his defense, Oscar clung to his opinion that Seth couldn't stick anything out.

He still couldn't believe Lauren had yelled at his dad like that. The memory gave him a warm feeling that was doused by the knowledge that Oscar was right. When the going got tough, Seth Escamilla hit the road.

Now he had to face the consequences with Mitch. “Yes, sir.” He stopped in the doorway of Mitch's office and waited to be invited inside.

"You better get home,” Mitch said.

Seth started. He didn't think Mitch would suspend him over a personal matter. “Sir, I just reported—"

Mitch met Seth's eyes and Seth saw no anger there, only concern. “Something's going on at your folks’ house. You need to go."

"Is everyone—"Seth asked, going stiff. Every accident scene he'd ever been on raced through his mind.

"No one's hurt or sick. I just think you better be there."

Oh, no. God, no. The thing he'd dreaded for the past decade had finally happened. He'd known, as soon as Mitch and Valerie's split, that his family was in danger. He jerked his keys out of his pocket and turned to run.

"We'll talk soon, though,” Mitch warned.

Seth nodded once, that eventuality paling in comparison with what was going on at home right now. He needed to be there, now. He ran out to his truck without another word.

Crystal's car was on the street in front of the house, Rey and Lisette's were side by side in the driveway, Rosa's nowhere to be seen. Seth almost forgot to take the keys out of the ignition in his haste, but the buzzing alarm reminded him. He ran to the house, pushed open the front door.

He'd never heard the house so quiet. Rosa was there after all, but none of his siblings had brought their families. Sandra sat in his father's recliner while Oscar paced in front of the fireplace where Rey sat, his head in his hands. His sisters sat, pale and shocked, on the couch.

Sandra looked up at Seth and offered him a tremulous smile, her eyes wide and unfocused, hurting. Damn his father and Valerie. His mother didn't know he knew why they were here and she wanted to soften the blow. Instead he should have softened the blow for her. He walked over and knelt before her.

"What happened?” he asked.

Oscar walked over to stand behind her chair, his hands on the back like he was offering some kind of support. Seth raised his eyes to him, anger boiling.

"Your mother and I decided to get a divorce."

Even though he knew it was coming, the words hit Seth in the solar plexus. He looked at his mother then, saw the raw agony in her face. This was not what she wanted. How much did she know? Did she know about Valerie? She was in too much pain not to know. How would she feel to know he'd protected her from it, and by extension, his father?

His sisters cried behind him, grieving anew at hearing the words, but no one asked the words echoing in his head. Of course, no one knew what he knew.

"Why now?"

Sandra looked at her hands in her lap and Seth looked back at his father, daring him to speak the truth, to make public the secret Seth had guarded for years. Oscar looked back a long steady time before looking away. And lying.

"We stayed together this long because of you kids. Since none of you live at home anymore—"

"God, Dad, Lisette's been away at college three years. If you're going to lie, make it good."

"I won't have you talking to me like that!” Oscar barked. “You think this was an easy decision?"

Seth stood slowly, ready to go nose to nose with his father. “Easier for you than for her,” he said. After all, his father was the one with the secret.

Sandra put a hand over his. “This is hard enough without you two fighting."

Seth glanced down at her for just a second, then back at Oscar, not wanting his father to think he was getting away with anything. “He hurt you,” he growled.

"This was my choice,” she said.

He turned sharply, disbelieving. “Por que, Mama?"

"Your father offered to ... work things out. I just don't think I have it in me to go on."

She knew the truth. Seth saw it in her eyes. Why didn't she say it aloud, reveal the type of man his father really was, the kind of man who destroyed two families without a care?

If she wouldn't expose him, he couldn't. He took a step back, looking only at his mother. “If you need anything, call me,” he said, defeated. “A place to stay, money, anything."

"Your father agreed to let me stay in the house till it's sold."

"And where will he be staying?” Not that Seth didn't already have a pretty good idea.

"At the firehouse,” Oscar said in a low voice.

"Ah. You and Mitch together again, just like old times.” Seth gave his father a level look. “Maybe you can get an apartment together. Or maybe that might get a little awkward."

Father and son stared at each other over Sandra's head. She stood between them and put a hand on Seth's chest, careful not to touch her husband.

His mother's eyes were sad but not teary as she looked up at him. “This is not helping. I'll need you to help me find a job, learn to do bills, all that. I do not need you ripping your father's throat out."

The unspoken idea was that she could do that just fine on her own and Seth almost grinned. He nodded, not looking away from Oscar.

"Anything you need, Mama. You can count on me."

Seth stumbled over his shoes on the way to answer the door and hoped his mother wasn't taking him up on his offer at this late hour. Who the hell else would be ringing the doorbell?

The bourbon must be causing hallucinations because he thought he saw Lauren through the peephole. He flung open the door, wavering between delirium and fury that she was here.

"Are you okay?” she asked, walking in with her hands held out, as if afraid he might lose his balance.

"Sure, great, fine.” He backed away from the door, toward the pass through bar where he'd left the plastic cup of whiskey, which he lifted in salute. “What are you doing here?"

She took the cup away without much effort. “Dad called and told me about your parents."

"Ah.” He dropped heavily onto a barstool, letting his hands dangle between his thighs, watching her sniff the cup. “So you ran over to empathize?"

She set the drink down within his reach. “Do you want me to go home?"

"I want to know why you're here."

"We've always been friends, first and foremost. I'm here for you."

"I can't be responsible for what I say,” he warned, not really wanting her to leave. At least she knew some of what he was going through.

"That's okay. I can handle it."

"You've never seen me this drunk."

She cocked her head and smiled. “I don't know. There was that time on Halloween..."

"That was a happy drunk. This is not a happy drunk."

She reached out, stopped herself before she touched his arm. Funny how he felt it there anyway.

"How's your mom?” she asked.

He stood up and moved away, taking his cup with him. Why did he feel her touching him when she wasn't? Probably for the same reason he woke up feeling her in his arms. He missed her. And she had come here as his friend. He wished he didn't know what it was like to have her love, too.

"You know Mom. Stoic, I guess they'd say."

"Strong. Your mom has always been the strongest woman I know."

Funny, he thought Lauren was. His mom always seemed in need of protection. At least that was what he'd told himself the past nine years. If he'd told her about Oscar and Valerie as soon as he found out, what would be different now?

"Wait a minute. How did you know she didn't initiate the divorce?"

She drew back at the question. “Because family is too important to her. She'd never consider divorce."

He'd thought the same. She would live with an adulterer for the sake of her children. Only the children were all grown up now. And the woman her husband loved was free.

He sat on the couch, elbows on his knees, and dragged his hands through his hair. “I don't know how she's going to make it, Lauren. She's never had a job, never been on her own. Lisette will be going back to college soon, and she'll be in that house all alone until she can find something more suitable. I'd like to see her in a little garden home, something she can keep up. But damn, I don't know anything about buying a house."

"I do. I can help."

He nodded.

"She's going to be okay.” She reached for him again, thought better of it again. “Do you know—why they broke up?"

He looked up sharply, saw something in her eyes, almost as if she was pleading with him to know.

Years of hiding the truth helped his façade stay in place. “No. They didn't share that information with the kiddies."

She couldn't say anything to that. She didn't know why her own parents split.

"It's such a waste. Two thirty year marriages ending within a month of each other,” she said.

"They started within a month of each other. I guess my folks beat yours—first to marry, last to divorce. I'll drink to that.” The whiskey no longer burned going down.

"Seth.” She sat beside him, and this time she touched him. He looked at the hand on his knee, the gentle touch he'd missed, preferring that to the look in her eyes. “I need to tell you something."

Oh, damn, she knew. He saw it in the crease of her brow, the sorrow in her eyes. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want to have to admit to her that he knew it too.

"My mother.” Her head bobbled a bit. “My mother and your father—since high school.” She stared when he didn't react. “You've known. God, you've known this."

He nodded. “For nine years."

She drew back, eyes accusing. “When I was crying about my parents splitting up, you knew? And you didn't say anything?"

Guilt washed over him as he waved his cup under her nose and she grabbed at it, took a desperate gulp, then coughed while he held her shoulders. “It's not my fault,” he said. “I didn't say anything because I didn't know if that was why they broke up. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's not, or your dad and my dad wouldn't still be friends."

"Friends?” She almost spat the word. “Your dad is screwing my mom and you think they're friends?"

"I don't know what to call it."

Lauren ripped herself away from him, moved aimlessly about the small living room. “How could they be so selfish?"

Seth rose and caught both her hands to still her, to ground her.

"I always thought they hated each other, you know? Whenever we were all together, they never got along."

"They probably used that to hide the truth."

She pulled her hands free. “My dad doesn't know. I mean, he has to know they had a history, but he doesn't know it's still going on."

"No. At least, I'm pretty sure he doesn't."

She looked up, eyes tormented. “I can't tell him."

He sipped his drink, turning away from her pain. He'd never wanted this for her. “Welcome to my hell."

"He has to know, though. He has to know what they're doing. He thinks Oscar is his best friend."

"And if you tell him?” Seth leaned back on his hands against the counter. God, he hated seeing her go through this, the same emotions he'd run through nine years ago. “You can't tell him. You'll be the one to hurt him."

"Why would it hurt him more than his best friend screwing his wife for the past nine years?"

"Because you knew before he did."

She was silent for a long time. He curled his fingers around the edge of the counter, resisting the urge to touch her, to offer her comfort.

"You knew before me,” she said. “You never said a word."

There it was, the accusation he'd been waiting for. He was ready for it. “How could I? How could I give you this pain? God, Lauren, it's been terrible seeing them together, knowing what they were, and having to help keep their secret."

Her breath hitched on a little sob. “You knew when we got together. You knew it could never last. We never had a chance."

She burst into tears and he couldn't stand back any longer. He pulled her, unresisting, into his arms, held her as she shattered. She buried her face in his throat, clenched her fist around the flimsy cotton of his t-shirt. He stroked her hair, her back, until her sobs turned to sniffles and her fist flattened against his chest. Damn, he remembered when he found out, when everything about his world turned upside down. It had just taken the rest of the world a little longer to follow. He felt all the energy drain from her, but just when he thought she'd go limp against him, she pulled back.

"What are we going to do?” she asked with a sniffle. “I thought when we broke up we'd ruin everything between our families, but it was ruined before we even ever did anything. How did you keep this inside for so long?"