Where the Streets have no Name (17 page)

The truth of it all, Daniel had, in twenty days, fallen in love with Amelia. Even though he realised that he hardly knew that much about her life, such as what she did for a living. She had money, but he didn’t know where it came
from, what she did for a living or how long she planned on being in Ireland for. That was the hardest pill to swallow. Eventually, she would have to leave, to go back to Canada.

She’d leave and take his heart with her. That agonizing thought hurt more than his body at the moment. And in that moment, his eyes drifted shut and the world turned dark and silent. And then, he was alone.

Amelia had called for police and ambulance as soon as she saw the gun pulled. Just in case. And where did that guy even get a gun? To her knowledge firearms weren’t given to police in Ireland. Aside from that, she knew little about their gun laws, so how did the
Gardaí
have a gun and where did he get the weapon from?

Then she tried not to watch Daniel with the woman crouched down next to him
. She wanted to be the one comforting him. Holding him. Loving him.

The other woman was beautiful. Older, too. She looked closer to Daniel’s age.
What gouged a hole in her chest was how familiar they seemed. He must have known her from before. Maybe they were even dating when it happened.

If she wanted to collect this information, Amelia had to stay where she was
and focus on the task she assigned herself. The paramedics just walked in and were seeing to Daniel. They knew best. They’d see to his injuries.

So she continue
d making sure each and every person here gave their names and addresses, and showed her their identification. She snapped a photograph of each one and saved them in a file on a safe online location, just in case someone had any ideas about destroying her phone.

Soon she was finished
collecting all the information she needed and an officer offered to drive her to the hospital, following the ambulance. Her movements were mechanical.

Sit in car.

Buckle seatbelt.

Wait.

Open door.

Follow
into building.

Walk.

Walk.

Stop.

Listen.

She needed to see Daniel. Needed to know he was going to be all right.
He had to be okay. He just had to. What would she do without him? She’d live on, but the cracks in her heart would shatter again.

Tears stung her eyes. The officer asked her a thousand questions she answered in a mechanical voice, desperate to be by Daniel’s side. Not yet though, first he had a few rounds of
tests; x-rays, MRI scans. A nurse brought Daniel’s chart over and discussed his condition once she declared herself his wife.

“
We took your husband for x-rays. He has two cracked ribs, one of which punctured through his side. His left kneecap is shattered,” she stated the fact like she was reading off instructions to build a barbeque, instead of talking about a human being. The man Amelia loved. “He needs extensive surgery.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“I’d prefer not to speculate, Mrs. Byrne. But we’ll do everything we can.” The nurse patted her on the shoulder and returned to the operating room, or what he called, theatre.

It was so hard sitting here, waiting.
The walls felt like they were closing in on her but Amelia wouldn’t let the fear win. After all, a hospital was just a building, like any other. The smells were different, but if she closed her eyes and blocked out the sounds, she pictured herself at home, surrounded by technology. She knew how to feel around computers. She understood them. Inanimate, programmable machines did what the software engineer told them to do.

All the knowledge of
writing codes and programming couldn’t get the image of Daniel with that other woman out of her head though. Seared into her brain, it pushed aside the pain of losing Poppa, but only temporarily. God, how she missed him.

It hurt knowing she’d never see him again
; millions of rusty pinpricks gouging at her chest. Somehow being in the country he was born and raised in brought her closer to him. She felt his presence around her and it helped to comfort her. Just a little.

But God, she hoped she hadn’t lost him to someone else. She was selfish and wanted him all to herself.
Amelia sat in the waiting room, eyes glued to the wall across from her, watching for signs of movement by the door there. Someone would have to come and talk to her soon. They’d have to.

Seconds passed by like hours. Hours like days.
The doctor tried to get her to leave at the end of visiting hours and she refused. Amelia offered them one million euros to leave her alone, knowing they’d accept. She put the transfer through immediately. They left her alone after that, coming to give her updates as they had them.

On her third day at the hospital, Amelia sat in the same chair she’d occupied since
she first arrived here, a cold, cardboard cup of coffee on the table in front of her and an untouched sandwich. She hadn’t eaten more than a few bites of whatever the nurses brought her in three days. The thought of putting anything in her stomach made her feel nauseous.

“He’s awake
and stable now, Mrs. Byrne. You can visit with your husband now.”

Amelia rose on shaky legs. Dread settled in her stomach. Bile churned and rose, burning the back of her throat.
Technically speaking, she knew what to expect on the other side of his door. She read through the charts and spoke with the doctors. Daniel’s face required surgery to set the broken bones on his right cheek. Numerous stitches held together the split flesh over his brow and under his chin. That didn’t take anything below the neck into account.

Reading all the information in the world didn’t prepare her for the sight of the man she well and truly fell for. Arms in casts, raised above his head. Just his eyes visible through the gauze wrapped around his head. A cast on his chest.

“I hear you and I got married,” Daniel said, the words broken by his swollen lips.

She stopped at his bedside, unsure of where to stand or sit or what to do. “I had to, so they would let me see you.”

“Ah.” His eyes rolled back in his head. The lids shut.

“I’m so sorry, Daniel.
” She took a breath, hoping to calm her frayed nerves. “If I knew those people were going to–”

“I told you,” he interrupted
, ire in his voice. “Told you I was bad luck.”

“You’re not–”

“I am and the sooner you get it through your thick head, the better off we’ll both be.”

What the hell happened? Why was he talking nonsense?
“Stop it! You’re not bad luck, Daniel Byrne!”

“You’ve been grand, Amelia, but this is the end of our journey together. Your knee is fine
now. You can drive yourself.”

Her lip quivered. “
Don’t do this, please.” Her hands pressed to her chest, as if the action could keep her heart from tearing in a hundred jagged shards. “My heart hurts,” the words came out strangled and full of agony. “Please, don’t break my heart.”

He wouldn’t look at her.
“We’re done here, Amelia. We had a little fun but now it’s over.”

“F…fun?” T
he word exploded in her chest. “Fun?” she repeated, as if saying the word again might make some sense.

“Aye, fun. Go on back to Canada. Go back where you belong.”

She shook, holding back waves of acid tears and anguish. “You don’t mean it,” she whispered.

“I do.”

One last try.

“Please don’t do this, Daniel.”

“Don’t make me call security. Don’t make this harder on yourself.”

“Is…is there someone else?”

“No, Amelia, I just don’t want you anymore!” he yelled, then broke into a coughing fit. “Go. Get out. I don’t want you here!”

Her
entire body went stiff.

Ice-cold shock rippled
down her spine.

He didn’t want her.

He couldn’t even look at her.

Everything between them, every look, every smile, every touch…it had all been a lie. A sick game he played. She didn’t want to believe he was capable of tearing out her heart and stomping on it, watching her suffer, like he got some sick thrill from it. But he wasn’t watching her. And standing here, silently imploring him to look at her and change his mind achieved nothing.

“You’re a bastard,” she whispered, tasting her own tears.

Amelia held her head high and turned on her heels, making a slow arc.
Her mouth, though set in a firm, grim line, quivered violently. Her heart bled. And somehow her feet carried her to the exit without tripping. She stood in the open air under pouring rain, watching the sun go down, while she cried her eyes out.

What was the point of anything? Life had no meaning, no grand purpose.

Maybe not, but she had a task to fulfil. And damn it all, she’d finish it, then try to pick up the pieces of her life.

Amelia found her rental car – the police officer who brought her here drove it and parked it in the hospital lot, then gave her the keys – and got in. Poppa’s urn was in the back seat, hidden under a sweater.
She’d been so selfish with this trip. It wasn’t meant for fun or pleasure. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love and lose her heart to a stranger.

He didn’t want her. Fine. His loss. She’d finish spreading Poppa’s ashes
and get back to what mattered. Maybe she could even start a new project. A new game.

There was plenty of time to think about it while she picked up the pieces of her heart and tried to put them back together.

Five months later…

Daniel sat across from Doctor Ryan who held up a series of x-rays to the bright fluorescent lighting above, examining these latest pictures of his bones. He itched to get out. Today was the day that happened.

“
Everything looks good, Daniel.” The doctor took his x-rays away from the light and replaced them in the envelope. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he lied. “I’m fine.”

No, he wasn’t bloody well fine. Sure, the breaks in his bones healed, and the cuts were fading to scars, but a chasm spread open his chest, tearing his heart into irreparable shards. He pushed away the only good thing in his life. He’d trade it all in, the pardon, the national apology, the financial reparations, if he could have her back.

“I uh…” Doctor Ryan opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a small white square – a folded page.
“I promised that I’d deliver this when the time came for you to be released. What you do with it is up to you, but I never break a promise.”

Nervous, Daniel swallowed and accepted the slip of paper. For a long moment, he stared at it, at his name written down in blocky lettering.
Familiar. But from where? And who?

The doctor left him alone in the room
to read what was written inside this note. Hands shaking, he opened the page.

Daniel,

I am no doubt the last person you ever want to hear from, but I couldn’t leave without saying I’m sorry, and you were right. I don’t belong in your world, as much as I wish I did. I won’t ever be what you want or need, and though it breaks my heart to admit it, I have to, and I need to accept that fact.

And yes, I knew about you from the first day we met. Blame Poppa. He taught me how to read people, and my curiosity got the better of me. I looked you up. It isn’t hard, and I know my way around computers. The name Alex Quinn might not mean anything to you, but millions of people around the world play the online games I created. I am Alex Quinn. So, I wasn’t completely honest with you either. I guess we’re even then.

I’m truly sorry for everything that happened to you, Daniel. If I could, I’d take it all away. I’d trade places with you. But I can’t. And you don’t want me…there’s nothing I can do to change that. I fell in love with you but that love was obviously one-sided.

I wish you all the best.

Amelia Quinlivan

He read and re-read the letter a hundred times. The words were carved into his brain. She knew he’d been in prison. The entire time. She knew. And yet…not once did she show any fear towards him. Nor did she pity him. She treated him like he was any other person. And during that time, she fought to have his innocence made public record.

Daniel thought back to that day, shortly after he sent Amelia away, when two men from the
government showed up in his hospital room saying how sorry they were for falsely accusing him of the bombing fifteen years ago. The pair of them went into some spiel about how Amelia dug around with the help of an investigator, and the man collected enough evidence to prove Daniel’s innocence – which included a large payoff from Seamus Riley to the key players in his trial, making sure he got locked up.

Damn, but he’d gone and broken her heart
. The things he said…

He played them over and over again, tormenting himself. He broke her heart, which meant she must have cared for him.
She did care. She loved him.

“I figured you might be finished reading by now,” Dr. Ryan said, retaking his chair.

Daniel tore his gaze from the page and studied the doctor. What could he say? There were no words. He’d been an utter arse to Amelia. She deserved so much more than him.

“Now. If you want it, she left her contact information for you to use.”

“Aye,” he said without pause. “Give us it.” Daniel held his hand out over the desk.

The doctor reached into his desk drawer a second time and pulled out another slip of paper. This one was smaller and folded in half just once.
Written in the same handwriting as the letter was an address to a cottage in Malin Head, County Donegal, at the far north of Ireland, on the border with Northern Ireland.

“
You know she wouldn’t leave the hospital? Made some huge donation just so we’d let her sit in the waiting room until you were well enough to receive visitors. She didn’t eat or sleep. She stared at the wall and cried and asked for updates so often my staff begged me to let them wear ear plugs. If you want my advice, Daniel, I say go up there and get your girl back.” Dr. Ryan tented his fingers. “I know you didn’t ask for it, but there it is.”

Aye, there it was indeed. Proof of how much of a fool he’d acted. Daniel hadn’t looked her in the eye when he sent her away. He’d shut his eyes and turned his head so he wouldn’t see the exact moment he broke her heart.

“You’re free to go whenever you’re ready, Daniel. I’ve been instructed to give you this.” The doctor slid a thick yellow envelope across the desk. “Inside you’ll find your banking information and a debit/credit card, including chip and pin instructions. A passport. Your driver’s licence. A mobile phone, topped up with fifty euros. And even a little cash to get you started.”

Dr. Ryan rose from his chair and reached into his pocket. “Here’s your prescriptions and a refill slip. Wherever you end up, make sure you check in
with a GP and let them know about your pain.”

Pain. He damned wel
l deserved the pain in his knee and his hip. He never should have gotten involved with Amelia. But could he have kept himself from falling in love with her?

The decision to at least go up to Malin Head and apologise for being the biggest arse-hat in the universe came easily. He wanted, no, needed to see her. Even if for one last time. To see her face. Hold her hand. Beg on hands and knees. His body already made the decision for him. He was just along for the ride.

Then he was standing up and walking out of the hospital, pain tablets shoved in his jacket pockets – Amelia left a brand new bag with all his clothing in the hospital room – and he was walking towards the nearest taxi stand.

Before heading up to the address he had for Amelia, Daniel needed to take care of a few things. First he bought a vehicle.
Then he purchased some new clothes. The government gave him his choice of locations to choose from for a permanent dwelling, on their charge, but he didn’t know where he wanted to live yet. The next day he set off for Malin Head. To Amelia.

Daniel pulled up to the small, cozy cottage
situated near the cliffs. A car was parked in the drive – not a rental. She’d bought one, which meant she might be staying. That in itself, he took as a grand sign.

He knocked on the door and swiped his palms on his thighs. Daniel’s pulse jumped in his throat. The sound of his own blood rushing through his veins blocked out every other sound. Tension coiled inside him until he was ready to explode.

What would she say? Could she forgive him for being such a fool?

No answer.
Daniel knocked again, just in case he wasn’t heard the first time. Again, he received no answer. He walked around the cabin, peering through windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. No one was home. But why did she leave her car? The nearest dwelling was almost an hour’s walk from here. Unless…

Pain lanced his chest, right above his heart
. She must have someone living with her then. He was too late.

“D-Daniel?”

He heard her voice and spun around, unprepared to see her standing behind him. Her hair was longer, hanging loose around her shoulders, over the swell of her breasts…

His eyes narrowed, scanning
her abdomen. No longer flat. Grey fabric stretched taut over her stomach. Amelia’s hands smoothed over her pregnant belly in a protective and circular motion.

Pregnant.

Amelia was pregnant.

Was the baby his? Shite, he didn’t know enough about this kind of thing to get his head around
it. All he’d ever wanted was a place where the streets had no name. To call the shots in his own life. To make decisions like he had all the time in the world to make them. Miles of rich green fields surrounding him. Freedom. And now…

Looking at her abdomen made him feel trapped. Daniel swallowed, hoping to clear the sensation of choking from his throat. Shite.

All he could think was pregnant.

Pregnant.

Baby.

Pregnant.

The last thing Amelia expected to see when she returned from her morning walk was Daniel Byrne standing on her doorstep. A little slimmer and more exhausted than she remembered. Just a little. He still had the same strong, broad shoulders, and those arms… He’d held her up in the shower and she felt his strength. Against the wall. Standing in the middle of the room, his arms banded around her and his hips pistoning his cock inside her.

Sweat gathered between her breasts at the memory, despite the chill in the air.
Hormones made her crazy, but until she saw him, Amelia had been able to keep her body in check. Now, good lord, she felt like she couldn’t get him naked quick enough, and she’d never get enough of him.

All the hormones in the world weren’t reason enough for her to push past the ache in her heart at his rejection.

His eyes were glued to her stomach. Of course. He must be freaking out. She certainly did when she found out she was expecting. Amelia spent an entire day in bed, sobbing her eyes out. Not because she had to raise a child alone. Knowing that she’d conceived a child with a man who didn’t love her and he didn’t want anything to do with her tore a new hole in her chest where her heart used to reside.

At first when he sent her away Amelia came up here to her new cottage and sunk into a deep depression. She
gave her heart and soul to a man who pretended to care, and in the end, he tossed her aside like yesterday’s trash. In his eyes, she wasn’t worthy much more than the wrapper to his take-out meal.

But the longer she
spent alone, recalling the memories they made together, the more Amelia realised what he’d done. Daniel pushed her away on purpose. For what reason she had no way of knowing. She tried to come up with a reason, but none came to mind.

“You…” he said, staring at her abdomen.

Amelia placed both hands over the child growing inside her.

“Is it mine?”

Her eyes widened. Bile rose in her throat, coating her tongue. The ground beneath her tilted and swayed. Daniel caught her in his arms, hauling her to his chest, her back to his front. His scent seeped into her system, drugging her. And Amelia knew, no matter what happened in the future, she’d never be over Daniel. Try as she might, the man owned her heart and her senses.

“Are you all right?” Whether he meant to or not, Daniel’s hands moved from the small of her back to her sides, smoothing around her front to feel the firm bump of her stomach. “Jaysus.”

She heard him swallow but avoided his eyes like he was Medusa and she’d turn to stone if she looked up and caught him staring.

“Amelia, answer me. Is the baby mine?”