Read Where the Road Takes Me Online
Authors: Jay McLean
“Fine,” she said.
“Fire truck, yes!” Josh yelled, and then he was off, jogging to his car. “Oh, Chloe?” he shouted, walking backwards so he could face us. “You’re driving!”
“Okay,” she yelled back, and then turned to me. “Fire truck, yes?”
I threw back my head as I laughed. “He has to tone down the cussing for Tommy, you know?”
She nodded, her grin still in place.
“Are we good?”
“Yeah, Blake,” she said, searching through her bag. “We’re good.” She took out her keys and pulled down her shirt, trying yet again to cover the inch of skin that her shirt didn’t reach. “I’ll see you here on Friday okay?”
It was my turn to nod.
“And I mean it about not—”
“I got it, Chloe.” I cut her off. “You don’t know me. I don’t know you.”
CHAPTER NINE
Blake
I respected her wishes, kept my distance, and pretended as though she didn’t exist. Only she did. She was the only thing that existed in my mind, which made it impossible not to notice her at school. Like the time I watched her sitting under that same tree just outside the cafeteria, earphones in, head bouncing up and down with the music. Or the other time she was there, on her phone—probably to Clayton, laughing at something he said.
She even caught me staring at her once—when she was drinking from the water fountain. I swear it happened in slow motion—just to fuck with my head. My eyes fixated on her lips, dripping wet. Her tongue came out, licking them. They were red from the coldness of the water. A strand of her hair caught in the wetness. She moved it with her index finger to behind her ear, then wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. She straightened. Then her dark gray eyes moved up, locked with mine. But she quickly averted her gaze and walked away, faster than I ever thought possible.
Chloe
For the next two days at school, he did what he’d said he’d do. He ignored me, and I ignored him. Or, at least, we did our best to try. Stolen glances, tiny smiles—they were all in play. I even failed at hiding my giggle when he walked into the fourth-period math class we’d shared all year. His eyes nearly fell out of his head at the sight of me sitting in the corner of the room. His entire body went still, hand frozen halfway up to push the hair away from his eyes. He did that a lot. Or he’d flick his head back to try to clear it from his forehead. He recovered quickly enough and gave me nothing more than a tiny nod. I tried my best not to notice, and I tried even harder not to like it.
Shaking my head and laughing to myself, I pulled my car into the spot outside the bowling alley. Whatever happy thoughts were running through my mind fled as soon as I lifted the hand brake and it made the squealing sound it always did. I made a mental note to get it serviced before I left.
“You’re late,” Josh deadpanned as I lifted the counter door.
I spun around and checked the clock on the wall. I was six minutes early.
Then he was next to me, nudging my side. “I’m fucking with you. I just wanted to hang out for a bit before I had to take off.”
Lifting my bag strap off my shoulder and over my head, I asked, “You’re leaving?”
“I’m not going far. Don’t worry, Not Abby.” He smiled smugly and jerked his head at Blake, who was walking toward us. “For some reason—I have no idea why—he asked management to switch him from desk to food.” He raised his shoulders dramatically to drive the point home, but his smirk stayed in place.
“Fuckwad.” Blake patted Josh on the shoulder.
“Shitstain,” Josh retorted before turning to leave.
“Wait,” I rushed over and pulled on his shirt.
He turned back around. “’Sup?”
“I got you something.” Rifling through my bag, I found the toy tractor I’d brought and handed it to him. “It’s for Tommy. A get-well-soon gift.”
He cast his dark eyes downwards, looking at the toy in his hand. His gaze lifted slowly, first to me, then to Blake, and then to me again. A small smile formed on his lips. He took two steps toward me and wrapped me tightly in his arms, lifting me in the air. After spinning me twice, he placed me gently back on the floor, but he didn’t let go. “You’re good people, you know that?” he said into my ear. He pulled back slightly and searched my face. Then he licked his lips. I felt the wetness of them on my forehead but for only a second before Blake’s throat clearing made him step away. Josh winked at him over my shoulder. “Later, Fucktard.”
Then he was gone.
I turned to Blake. “You switched shifts?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t have a say. Management decides who works where.”
“Bullshit.”
He tried to hide his smile.
I walked away before he could see mine.
He followed as I made my way to the storeroom to put my bag away. “So, don’t think I’m an asshole, but I got you something,” he said.
Placing my bag in an empty locker, I turned to him. “Why would I think you’re an asshole?”
He opened his locker, two down from mine, and pulled out something green. It was the same green as our uniform. “I brought you an old shirt. Not because I don’t— It has nothing to do with what you’re currently wearing. I just thought . . . because I’ve noticed the way you dress and it just—You don’t seem comfortable . . . in something like that?” He jerked his head at my chest. “I’m an ass. Never mind.” He threw the shirt back in his locker, slammed it shut, and started to walk away.
“No. Wait!” I went after him.
He stopped but didn’t turn to me. Not until after I watched his shoulders heave a couple times. When he finally did, his jaw was clenched tight and his eyes held an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I waited for his expression to change—to switch to something that was more comforting. It didn’t. Not until I felt forced to take a step back. “I’d appreciate it if you would let me wear it.”
He blinked once, and the intensity in his eyes disappeared.
“Yeah.” He nodded slowly, and a slight smile appeared. “It’s yours.”
He took the top out of his locker but didn’t give it to me. Instead, he positioned the neck hole over my head and slowly pulled the shirt down—dressing me, like you would a kid. It should have made me angry or at least annoyed, but I simply put my arms through the sleeves. Then he took a step back, his gaze roaming up and down my body. The heat of my blush engulfed my cheeks. I ignored it. Just like I ignored the pounding of my heart and the lack of air in my lungs.
He moved forward until there was nothing between us. No more steps. No space. No air.
Nothing.
And then he placed his hand on my waist.
I wanted to pull back. I wanted to tell him that it was wrong and that we couldn’t. That
I
couldn’t.
But I didn’t do a thing.
“I like you in my clothes, Not Abby.”
Then he turned around and walked away.
I sucked in a breath and held it. Then forcefully blew it out, along with any thoughts of what his presence, and what his words, did to me.
Blake
I knew that I was making it too obvious, but I just didn’t give a shit anymore. I wanted to say something stupid and have her laugh at it. I wanted to do something nice and have her appreciate it. Because in the past four years that we’d been in the same place almost every day, I had never noticed her. Not even a little bit. And to me—it felt like there were four years of her life I needed to know about. Four years of not paying attention to make up for. But it wasn’t just that. Deep down, I knew she was the only person in the entire world I wanted to notice me.
She leaned her forearms on the counter next to me, mirroring my position, and stared out on to the lanes. “Does Hannah ever come and visit you at work?” I looked at her. A strand of hair had come loose behind her ear. My fingers itched to touch it, but she beat me to it, turning to face me at the same time. Her eyebrows were raised, waiting. She had asked me a question.
What had she said?
“So?”
“Huh?” I needed to get my shit together.
She smirked. “Hannah? Your girlfriend? Does she ever visit you at work?”
I straightened up. “Why do you keep asking about her?”
“Why do you keep forgetting about her?”
“Because she’s not important.” And as the words left my mouth, I knew I sounded like a dick. I just sighed and walked away, not wanting to get into it.
CHAPTER TEN
Blake
“Would you assholes hurry the fuck up?” On the other side of the counter, Josh bounced on his toes. I decided to sweep extra slow, just to piss him off. “You’re a dick,” he spat, and then looked to the doorway of the prep area. “Seriously, Not Abby! Let’s go.”
I laughed. “What’s with you?”
His eyes narrowed. “Fire truck you. I get one night a month and you—” He raised his voice. “You guys are being slow on purpo—” He broke off, giving me enough reason to stop sweeping and face him. His mouth hung open. Then a smirk developed and a low whistle came from him. “Holy shit, Chloe, you clean up good.”
I spun around quickly. Too quickly.
We hadn’t spoken much since yesterday’s shift. Once she’d brought up Hannah, the mood had shifted. Even though she had every right to mention her, I was still pissed.
“I wasn’t sure what your plans were, so I didn’t know how to dress.” She chewed her lip and looked down at the floor. Her dress was loose but short. Too short. She cleared her throat.
My eyes snapped up. I’d been staring at her legs. “You look nice,” I told her.
“Thank you.”
“Can we go now?” Josh whined from behind me.
“Yeah,” Chloe and I said in unison, but our eyes remained locked, refusing to budge.
“You guys are fucking ridiculous. I’ll wait by your car, Chloe,” Josh said as his footsteps faded.
I waited until I thought he was far enough away before speaking. “You look nice.”
“You already said that.”
“I did?”
She nodded.
“Maybe you deserve to be told more than once.”
Her breath caught. “I’ll wait at my car.”
Chloe
They directed me out to an abandoned basketball court in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, that was their way of letting loose.
“There’s no fucking room in this backseat,” Josh complained. He sat sideways with his knees up and skateboards on either side of him. He and Blake must have planned ahead and skated to work.
Blake and I both turned around and laughed at the sight of him. “I didn’t really plan on anyone ever sitting there.” The squeal of the hand brake when I lifted it echoed through our surroundings.
“You should probably get that looked at,” Blake said, holding on to the top of the windshield. The nights were getting warmer, and I was able to drive with the top down more often.
“I plan to.”
Josh jumped out of the car, not bothering to wait for us. I only had a two door. I’d never needed room for anything more. “You know what I plan to do, Chloe?” He pointed his finger at me. I slumped farther into my seat. Blake’s deep chuckle reverberated in my ears.
“I plan on getting fucked up!”
After the third beer in ten minutes, he pulled out a Ziploc bag. I knew what it was without looking.
“He doesn’t do this often,” Blake explained. He sat back on his outstretched arms, next to me. We were on the hood of my car, watching Josh. “I’m not judging,” I said quietly, turning to face him. “So he doesn’t hear from Tommy’s mom?”
“Never.”
“Sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“And school? Does he ever plan on finishing?”
“Don’t know.” He dropped back and leaned on one elbow so he could face me. “He says it’s hard to make plans when your future is so uncertain.”
“Huh.” Turned out Josh and I had more in common than I’d thought. I watched him mumbling to himself as he paced back and forth, only a few feet ahead of us.
Taking a drag of the joint and holding it, he pointed his finger between us. He didn’t speak, not until he’d exhaled the smoke and taken a few steps toward us. “You know what I miss?” He handed Blake the joint and clasped us both on the shoulders. “Pussy.”
Blake chuckled.
“I. Miss. Pussy.” He directed his glare at Blake. “And you,
dickface
. You get pussy whenever you want. It’s as if she’s an open door, and you can just walk in freely. Here, Hannah,” he mocked. “Here’s my cock.”
“Oh my God!” I couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped.
Blake took a drag, then offered it to me. I declined. If I smoked, I did it to lose myself, and I didn’t want to do that tonight. Only certain nights, like the night I met Blake. “It gets worse.” His words were weak as he tried to hold the smoke in his lungs.
“And you, Chloe,” Josh continued. “Chloe.
Pshh
. Dumb name. I’m calling you Chlo. No. Dumb name, too. C-Lo!” He laughed to himself, but for only a second before his eyebrows furrowed. “C-Lo, I bet you’re the same. You can probably get all the cock in all the world.” He threw his arms out to his sides and spun around dramatically. “But not Joshua. Joshua gets no pussy.” He looked back at Blake. “Hunter. Dickface. Free pussy.”
“Dude, random words are not sentences.”
“Fuck you, Free-Pussy Hunter.” He paused. “Hunter? It doesn’t even suit you. You don’t hunt for pussy. It’s like they scream for you!” His voice changed to match that of a whiney girl. “Take me, Hunter. Take me
now
!”
Blake’s embarrassed laugh made his head fall forward and onto my arm.
Josh took the joint from his hand and walked away. “I’m Hunter,” he announced, grabbing on to his junk. “What’s that, tree? Oh, you want my dick? Sure! I’m Blake-fucking-Hunter. Take all the dick you want.”
“Quit it!” Blake yelled. “You’re making me sound like an asshole in front of Chloe. You’re breaking bro code. Not cool, dude!”
Josh ignored him. Opting, instead, to start humping the tree.
“Oh my God,” I laughed.
Blake looked up at me with embarrassment. “Kid’s lost it.”
“He’s allowed.”
“Yeah,” he said sadly. We watched as he moved away from the tree and started pacing again. “So what about you,
C-Lo
? What are your plans after high school?”
I looked down at him. His eyebrows were raised and his head tilted lazily . . . but his eyes . . . his eyes held a depth in them that knocked all sense out of me. For a second I wanted to tell him everything. The truth about me and my future. “The Road
.
”
Blake’s eyes narrowed slightly. “The road?”
“Yeah.” I turned away. His eyes had the power to wreck not only me, but also the walls I’d spent my life building. “The Road,” I repeated, as if saying the words again would make him understand. Lying back, I leaned on my elbows so we were level. And I waited. I knew the questions were coming, and even though Clayton was the only one who knew my answers, for some reason, I didn’t feel the need to hide them from Blake. “After graduation, I’m taking off.”
“Taking off?”
“You keep repeating my words, like they’re questions.”
“Yeah, well, your answers aren’t really answers. They’re just words.”
“How are answers formed, if not with words?”
“By words that form explanations.”
“Explanations are the same as answers.”
He laughed. “Shut up and explain.” He poked my shoulder with a single finger. “Properly.”
I sucked in all the air my lungs could handle and then let it out in a whoosh. “I’m just gonna get in my car and drive. No destination. No maps. Nothing. Just drive.”
“For the entire summer?”
I turned to him, finding it difficult not to look at him when he was that close. “Kind of like an endless summer.”
I could see the question in his eyes before his mouth opened, but before he had a chance to voice it, I cut in. “It’s kind of the plan for the rest of my life.”
“The rest of your life?” he said incredulously.
“And there you go, repeating my words again.”
He shook his head as if clearing a thought. “I’m confused.” And he looked it. Which made him even cuter. “Are you going on your own?”
I nodded.
“Forever?” His tone had changed—past confusion—into something completely different.
I nodded again.
“Why?”
“Because.” I shrugged. “There’s nothing keeping me here. I don’t have family. I don’t have any friends—”
“
I’m
your friend.”
That made me laugh. “I guess. But I’ve known you . . . what? A week? As far as being a reason to stay, I don’t think that really cuts it.”
He sighed. It sounded as dramatic as it did genuine. “And you’re going by yourself?”
He seemed closer, or maybe it just felt that way. The air around us intensified as I forced myself to answer. My voice came out shaky when I finally did. “Yes. Why?”
Blake
“Why?” I said back.
Her laugh was all-consuming as she pushed playfully against my chest. I fell back onto the warm metal of her hood. “You just keep repeating what I say.”
I did. But I really couldn’t form any other words. “I just worry about you,” I said, looking up at the night sky.
It was silent for so long that I thought she’d left me. Just as I was about to turn to her, her hand swept down my arm and onto my palm. I heard her exhale right before she laced her fingers with mine. “You don’t need to worry about me, Blake,” she said quietly. But she was wrong. And I realized it then—that even if I tried, I couldn’t help but worry. It could have been because of the way we’d met, or it could have been because she meant more to me than anyone ever had. “I don’t know, Chloe,” I said. “I kind of feel like someone has to, you know?” I turned to her, wanting to see her reaction.
She was already facing me; her eyes glazed with her unshed tears. She blinked quickly, letting them fall and wiping them away before I could do it for her. “You can’t do that, Blake. You can’t worry about me like that.”
Josh’s shadow fell on her. “Here, Free-Pussy Hunter.” I sat up, reached for the joint he offered, and placed it between my fingers. I watched as his eyes moved down to Chloe and my joined hands. He didn’t say anything. He never would. She must’ve noticed, though, because she tried to pull away, but I held on to her tighter.
There was no warning that they were coming. No sirens. Just the flashing of blue-and-red lights.
“Tommy,” Josh said, almost as a whisper.
Why would he be thinking about
Tommy
?
He turned his back on the cop car, just as their doors opened and two uniformed officers stepped out. “Hunter, man, I can’t lose him.” He pulled out the bag of weed from his pocket, his hand shaking as he did. Eyes wide, he turned his head slowly from side to side. I’d only ever seen him like this once before—the day he’d realized Natalie was gone. He was scared shitless.
I could see there was no time to throw the bag in the bushes or even put out the lit joint I was holding. Without thinking, I took the bag from his hand.
Even though it all happened in a matter of a few seconds, it felt like an eternity. The joint between my fingers was pure fire in my hands. I dropped the bag onto my lap, just as a flashlight shone in my eyes, blinding me. “Hunter,” the cop asked, “is that you?”
And that was when I knew it was over. My future. Whichever road I travelled—I was done. Basketball. My dad. All of it.
“Thanks, baby.” Chloe’s soft voice broke through the silence. She picked up the bag from my lap and took the joint from my fingers. Then proceeded to smoke it.
“What the hell are you doing?” I tried to whisper, but I’m sure it came out louder than I’d wanted.
“Whose marijuana?” the cop asked, now shining the flashlight at her.
“Mine.
Obviously.”
She took another drag. “He was just holding it for me.”
“I call bullshit,” the second cop said.
“Yeah?” She jumped off the hood, letting go of my hand as she did. “Clayton Wells is my foster brother. You can call bullshit all you want, or you can call him and ask him where I got this weed from.”