Where the Lotus Flowers Grow (36 page)

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yes,” she replied, her eyes scanning me like a package containing something foul. She turned to Liam. “Did Bobby tell you I’m selling the house?”

Who was Bobby?

“No, he didn’t.”

“I’m permanently relocating to the city.” She smiled as people passed us, making it appear we were having a friendly chat. “You have some things in the attic. I was going to donate them to the poor, but then I remembered you were pretty poor yourself, so I doubt they have any value to anyone. Shall I throw them out?”

Liam nodded, his arm tightening around me. “Do whatever you wish.”

She patted her golden hair. “I see you’re wearing them. They were his favorite. Of course, I thought he’d leave them to his legitimate son. Then again, you managed to inherit a great deal from your father.” I followed her gaze to Liam’s sleeve. He wore gold cuff links in the shape of birds.

Liam smiled brighter. “I’d be happy to return them.”

She waved her hand in a gesture of dismissal. “Don’t bother. That’s not the point, is it?”

“I completely understand your point, Lorna. I’ve understood since I was a teenager. But back then, I actually cared. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

Her mouth gaped for a second. She quickly recovered, fixing us with an icy stare. “In any case, they look good on you. They are definitely appropriate for the evening, since the bald eagle is on the endangered list. Speaking of, I’m starting the presentation soon. I hope my son isn’t too inebriated to join us.” She walked away, leaving a heavy trail of expensive perfume behind her.

“Who is Bobby?” I asked, feeling uneasy.

“It’s Stephen’s first name…Robert. He’s Robert Wilshire the Second. He decided to go by his middle name a few years ago. Lorna does not approve.” Liam laughed. “She constantly lectured him about how lucky he was to carry the family name and legacy. I didn’t live here that long, but there were loads of fireworks in this house, I tell you.”

“I can imagine.” My voice sounded distant to me.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?”

“Can you get me another glass of wine?”

“Maybe you should have water.” He touched my forehead. “You feel warm.” He took my hand and led me to a seat. I slumped into it, swallowing down the bile.
Stop it, you’re acting ridiculous.

I forced a smile, ignoring the irregular way my heart beat. “Wine, please.”

“Okay, love, I’ll be right back.”

He brought me a glass, but it was weak. I drank it anyway. The lights dimmed as Lorna Wilshire took the stage.

“Thank you all for coming. This was an important charity for my husband. As you know, he dedicated his life to preserving endangered species, not just in this country, but all over the world. He was a humanitarian, a successful businessman, a philanthropist, and a wonderful husband and father.”

I almost laughed at the last accolade.

“Friends, my words are hollow. He said it so much better than I can. He may be gone, but he is still in our hearts. So listen to him, and while you’re at it, take out those checkbooks and jot down a lot of zeros.” A few people snickered. “Or plastic if you prefer.”

Then the screen behind her lit up. A distinguished-looking man sat at a desk. There was a gold tower behind him and a painting of trees twisting into each other.

“Hello, friends,” his deep voice resonated.

I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear anymore. It was the same voice that haunted me.

Liam knelt in front of me, his face full of concern. He took my wrists and pried them off my ears. “Mary?”

I recognized the lines and curves of the picture. They were made by the same hands that held me every night. “You painted that. It’s the trees in the back of this house.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “It was the portrait he bought at my exhibition. I still can’t believe he hung it up in his office or that my stepmother never took it down.”

Everything blurred, one color bleeding into the next, as if I was looking inside a kaleidoscope.

“Mary, sweetheart, look at me. What’s the matter?”

I looked down at his cufflinks, waiting for the birds to carry me away.

“I was wrong.”

“Wrong about what, love?”

“I thought they were birds of prey.” They were supposed to eat my flesh and peck away at my soul until there was nothing left of me.

“Birds of prey?”

Vultures, I wanted to say. But I slipped into the darkness. It grounded me. It protected me.

Mary

I was on a couch in a dim room. Liam sat beside me, holding my hand. His face lit up with relief when I opened my eyes. “Hey, there you are. You just fainted. Thank God, there was a doctor in attendance. He thinks you’re dehydrated, so you’re cut off for the night.” Liam held a bottle of water under my lips. He offered me a half-hearted smile that couldn’t conceal his worry. “I checked it personally. It’s safe.” I took slow sips.

He caressed my cheek. For the first time, I backed away from his touch. Hurt flickered across his face.

“Can we speak outside, Mr. Montgomery?” asked the man who must have been the doctor.

“Later,” Liam answered, irritated.

“Go, Liam, I’ll stay with her,” Stephen said. Stephen…Bobby…the Monster’s other son.

The door closed. I sat up, a dull ache in my head. The ache sharpened as I took in the room. The painting, the desk, the gold tower were all there. I used to dream of killing him in this room. Of taking the tower and smashing it over his head.

“Lay down, Mary,” Stephen said. “You shouldn’t be up.”

Stephen…the man who’d asked me to be his friend. The man who thought he could help himself by helping me. It all clicked.

Stupid, stupid, girl.

“You knew.” It was an accusation.

“Knew what?”

“You knew who I was. How?”

He took a step back. “You don’t understand.”

I stood and pushed him. Then I slapped him hard across the face. “What did you do, you sick bastard?”

He winced. “Calm down.”

I kept going, spitting out the sick, twisted thoughts as they entered my mind. “Did you watch the videos? Did you and your father watch them together?”

I held my hand up to slap him again, but stopped in midair. He looked wounded and lost. Almost as if he wanted me to slap him.

“Listen to me,” he pleaded. “I found a video on my father’s computer. I had no idea what it was at first. Then I realized and wished to God I had never found it. I saw you in it. I recognized you that day in the office. I thought you had come to get revenge on us. Oh, God, Mary, I’m sorry. I confronted my dad about it, but I was just a kid. I was weak. My mother told me it would ruin us if I said anything, and no one would believe me anyway. She destroyed all the evidence. But I never forgot your face. It was burned into my memory. I have a lot to atone for since you weren’t the only victim. Just the only one I met. After I saw you, I did some research into your background to confirm what I already knew.”

I had fallen in love with the son of the man who had destroyed my life. The knowledge hit me so hard, I had to lean on a side board to keep from collapsing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How could I? I was suspicious of you. Like I said, I thought you were looking for revenge, and that’s why you were with Liam. Isn’t that why you were a maid in Jaipur? The daughter of an educated man. Isn’t that what you were doing? You honestly didn’t know who Liam was? Who we were?”

“I didn’t know your father by name. I only knew his voice, his smell, his shadow. Those things were seared into my soul. I’d heard him say he’d be back at the Wilshire in Jaipur in a few years. I decided when he returned, I would be waiting for him. I wanted to kill him.”

“He’s already dead.”

“Then dig him up for me.”
I’d dance on his bones and spit on his grave.

“Mary, you have to calm down. I understand what you’ve been through. I’ve been where you’ve been.”

“You don’t fucking understand, Robert Wilshire the Second.”

Stephen cringed. “Don’t call me that.”

“It’s your name, isn’t it?” I jabbed my finger into his chest. “Do you know what it’s like to be tortured? To be raped? To feel as if you’re nothing but a speck of dirt, upswept and sullied? To watch as your little sister had her innocence ripped away? To be relieved when she got ill and prayed she would die because she’d never find joy again? Do you fucking know what it’s like to watch your papa blame himself?”

He dragged a shaky hand through his hair. “Stop…please.”

“Don’t tell me you understand me. That you’ve been where I’ve been because you feel guilty you saw something on a video once.”

“No…I haven’t been there, but I understand more than you think. He liked boys, too, at least young boys. He’s behind every sharp edge and dark night of my life.” He choked out a bitter sound. “When I realized I wasn’t his only victim, some fucked-up part of me decided…” He sucked in a breath as a tear slid down his face. “Better them than me. Better you than me. God forgive me.”

“Maybe God will forgive you, but I won’t.”

Stephen’s body slumped in resignation. “We have the same monster, Mary. I’m begging you to let me atone for my sins. What can I do?”

The room closed in on me again. My head ached and a nauseous heat grew inside my belly. “Get me out of here.”

Mary

I waited for Stephen in his car. I watched as the lights turned on in every room of the massive house.

He opened the door. “I found your suitcase and your coat. Liam is going crazy.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“Are you kidding? He probably thinks I kidnapped you. I snuck past him. This is ridiculous. You need to go back into the house.”

“I’m never going to step foot in there again.”

“Then I’ll tell him to come out here.”

“No.”

He sighed. “Fine. Want me to take you back home?”

“Yes,” I said, grateful he gave me the answer I searched for.

“Okay, we’ll go back to the city. Then we’ll call Liam.”

I shook my head. “Take me to the airport.”

“That’s not going to happen.” He opened his mouth to argue some more, but I slapped my hand over it.

“You owe me this. I want to go home. This is your chance to atone, Stephen. So shut up and drive.”

I let out a breath when the car started moving. We were silent. Stephen’s phone buzzed constantly, like some silly song on repeat.

“Liam’s called eight times, Mary. I have to tell him something.”

The next time it rang, I picked it up. “Liam.”

“Mary, thank God. Where the hell are you?”

“I can’t do this. I can’t marry you.”

“What? Have you gone mad?”

“Stephen’s written me a huge check, large enough so I don’t have to marry you. That’s all I really wanted.”

“You’re lying.” The hurt in his voice would have caused another tear in my heart if it weren’t already completely broken.

“I’m not. I’m sorry.”

“You just fainted. Obviously, you’re not thinking straight.”

“I am. I see everything for once.”

“Sweetheart, tell me where you are. I’ll come to you.”

“Liam, if you really love me, you’ll let me go. You need to understand my happiness means not having you in my life. You made a vow to me in a church that you’d let me go if it didn’t feel right anymore. I need you to honor that vow now. Good-bye, Liam.” I disconnected.

Stephen banged his hand against the steering wheel. “He’s never going to believe that.”

“It’s better than the truth. I’m not going to tell him what kind of monster his father was. I’d rather have his hate than his pity. He’s strong. He’ll recover.”

“He won’t, Mary. You can work through this. It’s not Liam’s fault.”

I closed my eyes, trying to summon strength I didn’t feel. “It’s not about fault. It’s circumstance.” Every time I looked at Liam now, I would hear Hannah’s screams. I would go back into the darkness and never find my way out. I thought I’d emerged clean like the lotus blossom. But I was wrong. I remained rooted in the mud and muck.

The phone buzzed in my hand. I threw it against the dashboard. It bounced back on my lap. It buzzed again. I picked it up and threw it in the backseat. It buzzed some more. I craned back to find it. I opened the window and chucked it.

“I could have just turned it off,” Stephen said.

I laughed hysterically. I had been outside of myself, exceptionally calm. But I felt everything inside me break at once. I buried my face in my hands and cried. He slowed the car down.

“Mary…” He touched my shoulder.

I recoiled. “Don’t touch me. Keep driving.”

We reached the airport in record time. The next direct flight was in eighteen hours. But there was one to London Heathrow leaving in two hours. I could make the connection there, so I booked it. I wanted out of this country as fast as possible. Thank God, Liam had packed my passport. I didn’t have anything to declare. I didn’t even have a bag to check, since I could carry the small suitcase with me. This was final. Once I left and my visa expired, I wouldn’t be allowed to come back for years. The need to escape was so strong, I had no doubts about my decision.

“Do you need money?” Stephen asked.

I shook my head.

He clasped my arm. Then his eyes widened at my reaction. “I’m sorry.” He let me go. “Don’t do this. Don’t let that man ruin your life. He’s already destroyed so many.”

“Good-bye, Stephen. Thank you for the ride.”

I turned toward the security area. I looked back once. I saw him bury his face in his hands, his broad shoulders shaking.

It’s not what it looks like. You explain that to Bobby. You know how his mind works.

I’d remembered that bit. Replayed it in my head over the years. Staring at him now, it was clear the choices of the past haunted him. He needed something from me. Although my stomach churned and my head reeled, I wanted to give him this. The peace of mind he’d always sought.

I ran back to him. He pulled me into a needy embrace. “I’m so sorry, Mary. I am.”

“You’re not to blame. You were a child.”