Where the Heart Lies (45 page)

‘Here’s the tea I promised,’ murmured Dora. ‘And I managed to pinch a couple of custard creams from the packet Nurse Giddings hides in the cupboard.’ She shot a glance at the overweight nurse. ‘Think of it as saving her another few inches,’ she added with a gleam of humour in her eyes.

Julie smiled back at her and guiltily ate the biscuits, savouring their creamy sweetness. She hadn’t had a custard cream since the outbreak of war, and she wondered fleetingly where on earth Nurse Giddings had managed to buy them.

The bell for visiting time echoed through the hospital and the doors opened to admit a stream of parents and grandparents into the ward. Julie watched them pour in and returned their greetings, for over the weeks she’d come to know most of them, and the atmosphere in the ward, although tense, had a family feel about it.

She was about to turn her attention back to William when she saw Peggy come through the doors and waddle towards her. Her expression was businesslike, and there was no warm smile. Julie was at once alert.

‘What’s the matter, Peggy?’ she asked as she gave up her chair.

‘You’re not going to believe it,’ she panted as she settled her gas-mask box and handbag on her lap. ‘Let me get my breath back, and I’ll tell you.’

‘I hope you didn’t walk all the way here,’ said Julie sternly. ‘You know what the doctor said about overdoing things.’

‘Don’t fuss. Alf the butcher gave me a lift in his truck,’ Peggy replied impatiently.

Julie waited anxiously for her to get her breath back, but her alarm wasn’t eased by Peggy suddenly gripping her hand.

‘Now I don’t want you to get upset, Julie,’ Peggy said quietly, ‘but something happened today, and I wanted to warn you so it wouldn’t come as too much of a shock.’

‘Peggy, you’re frightening me. I have no idea what you’re on about. It’s not the baby, is it?’

‘Nothing like that,’ Peggy said dismissively. She gripped harder on Julie’s fingers. ‘Listen, I haven’t got much time and they’ll be here any minute . . .’ Her voice faded into silence as her gaze was drawn to the opening doors and three people who hovered there.

Julie followed her gaze and felt the world stop spinning as she watched the man separate from the middle-aged couple, and navigate his awkward way down the ward on crutches. His left leg had been amputated above the knee, his face was lined and
much older than she remembered, and there were streaks of grey in his brown hair – but she would have recognised him anywhere.

She stood frozen to the spot as his dark gaze held her. ‘Bill?’ she gasped through her fingers. ‘Bill, is it really you?’

His smile was warm and slightly mocking as he grabbed a spare chair and sank into it. ‘Aye, lass,’ he murmured, ‘it’s me reet enough, though bits of me are still buried somewhere in North Africa.’

Julie didn’t know what to say. She was still in shock.

He laid the crutches on the floor and leaned towards the cot. ‘And this must be William,’ he sighed. ‘Eee, lad, I’ve waited a long while to see thee.’ He reached out a broad hand and placed the tip of a finger in William’s palm as his eyes filled with tears. ‘I can see Franny in him,’ he said hoarsely.

‘Yes,’ she managed. ‘He has her smile too.’

There was a long moment of silence, and Peggy struggled out of the chair. ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ she murmured, and hurried off before anyone could reply.

Bill looked up at Julie and reached for her hand. ‘Sit down, lass, afore ye drop.’

‘It’s such a shock seeing you,’ she said as she plumped down into the chair Peggy had just vacated. ‘We were told you were dead.’

‘Aye, I know. Didn’t you get my letter?’ As Julie shook her head he gave her a sympathetic smile.
‘Never mind, I’m here now, and there’s plenty of time to catch up on things.’ He looked down at the crutches, his smile fading. ‘Happen I’m not going anywhere in a hurry.’

Julie’s gaze drifted to the large, manly finger still coiled into William’s tiny fist. The pain in her heart was almost unbearable as she realised she was about to lose the baby she had come to think of as her own. Tears pricked as all the hopes and dreams of their future together died.

He must have read the agony in her expression, for he patted her hand. ‘Eee, lass,’ he said gruffly. ‘I’m reet sorry if I’ve caused you trouble, but he’s my son – mine and Franny’s. He’s what I fought for, what I lost me leg for. Happen it’s only reet he comes back with me to Yorkshire where he belongs.’

She understood, of course she did, but that didn’t make it any easier. ‘Who will look after him there?’ she asked tearfully. ‘I don’t want that Charity going anywhere near him.’

‘No need to mither, lass,’ he said reassuringly. ‘I heard what she said, and told her to say nowt more.’ His brown eyes twinkled with humour. ‘I’m not like me mam, Julie. I speaks me mind and won’t tek Charity’s bullying. She’ll not be looking after babby.’

‘Who then?’ she persisted.

‘Me, and me mam and dad. We’ll bring him oop on farm and teach him to be a good Yorkshireman.’ He looked down with a soft smile as William stirred
in his sleep. ‘We’ll soon have him fit and strong again, and he’ll grow oop knowing he’s loved.’

‘I love him too,’ she said. ‘From almost the moment he was born, and I can’t bear the thought I might never see him again.’

His eyes widened in surprise. ‘Why, lass, you’ll always be welcome to visit. We won’t let him forget you, you can be sure of that.’

Julie knew she was clutching at straws, but she couldn’t stop herself. ‘But will your parents be able to cope with such a young baby? His health is delicate and—’

‘There you go, mithering again,’ he said softly. ‘And there’s nowt to fret thee, lass. You’ll see.’ He looked over her shoulder and beckoned. ‘Me parents come down with me on train. Happen they’ve waited long enough to be introduced to their grandson.’

Julie turned as the middle-aged couple walked hesitantly towards her. He was tall and broad-shouldered, his face weathered by the elements. She was small and round like a cottage loaf, with apple cheeks and bright eyes. They both looked a little self-conscious in what Julie suspected were their best clothes, but they certainly bore no resemblance to the dreadful Charity.

‘How do,’ said Bill’s father. He was clearly a man of few words, and he turned away, clasped his roughened hands behind his back and leaned over the cot. He nodded with approval. ‘Seems a right little bobby dazzler,’ he muttered.

This was clearly regarded as huge praise, for Bill’s smile lit up his face.

Bill’s mother turned from the cot and placed her hand on Julie’s arm. ‘You’re to call me Edith,’ she said softly, ‘and you’re not to fret, lass. I’ll look after babby as if he were me own. I promise thee that.’

Julie looked into her sweet face and knew that William would indeed be loved and cared for by these good people. Yet the agony of knowing her time with him would soon be over was too much to bear, and she was finding it almost impossible to control the tears that threatened to fall.

‘Eee, lass, I know how painful this be,’ Edith crooned as she stroked her arm. ‘I thought I’d lost my boy too – but by some miracle he survived, and although ’tis hard for you to let babby go, our Bill has earned the right to raise his son.’

Julie’s battle with her tears was lost when Edith put her arm about her and drew her to her motherly bosom. The dam broke and she sobbed against her, her heart breaking.

FROM THAT DAY
on Julie began to withdraw from William. She found it almost impossibly distressing not to go to the hospital and sit with him, but she knew that if she faltered, it would only make their parting harder. She had to learn to live without him – but every hour of the day felt like forever, and her dreams were full of him.

Peggy, bless her, had understood what she was going through, and had quietly removed the cot from her room while she was at work, and placed the lovely pram out of sight in the dining room. The bedroom and hall seemed so empty without them, but it was the next step towards accepting that William was already gone.

‘I’ll take the pram back to the WVS centre,’ said Peggy. ‘Bill won’t be able to take it with him on the train, and I’m sure someone will appreciate it.’

‘Why don’t you keep it, Peg?’

Peggy smiled. ‘The old pram’s still got a lot of use in it, and it’s a bit of a family heirloom. It was good enough for the others, so it will do for this little one.’

Julie folded her arms tightly round her waist,
resisting the overwhelming need to rush into the dining room and touch the pram one last time. The memories of wheeling William along the prom and down the High Street were almost too hard to bear, and she realised then that every corner of Beach View Boarding House was redolent with the echoes of the few happy months she’d spent with him here.

‘You’ve decided to go back to London, haven’t you?’ asked Peggy quietly.

Julie nodded. ‘I need to go home now I’m on me own again.’ She regarded Peggy through her tears. ‘You’ve been a diamond, Peg, and I couldn’t have managed without you and all the others. You gave me a home and loving support when I needed it most, and I’ll always be grateful to you for that. But London’s where I belong, and where I know I can learn to put all this behind me and begin again.’

Peggy put her arms round Julie and gave her a hug. ‘We’ll miss you,’ she murmured, ‘and I was hoping you’d be here when this little one arrives. I was rather counting on having the best midwife in the district.’

‘Don’t worry, Peg,’ said Julie, sniffing back her tears. ‘I think you’ll find me replacement will be just as reliable.’

Peggy frowned. ‘You’ve already started making plans to leave?’

Julie nodded. ‘But it’ll be a while yet, so you won’t get rid of me that easily.’ She pulled on the navy blue cardigan over her striped cotton uniform and
picked up her medical bag. ‘I’ll see you tonight,’ she said and gave a watery smile before heading down to the basement to fetch her bicycle.

Julie cycled along the seafront towards the surgery, grateful for the sea breeze that chased away the shadows of another restless night and dried her tears. She came to the end of the promenade and stood watching the sea roll in glassy waves against the shingle as the gulls hovered and glided effortlessly on the breeze.

Once Bill’s father had returned to the family farm in the Dales, Peggy had found rooms for Bill and his mother in a nearby private hotel, realising that having them at Beach View would be much too painful for Julie. However, the mother and son had become regular visitors to the house, and Julie still found it difficult to sit and listen as they talked about William’s progress and their plans for the future. They had been here for almost two weeks now, and the time was fast approaching when William would be well enough to make the long journey north.

She gave a trembling sigh and tried very hard to see the positive side of things, for Edith was motherly and capable, and Bill was a good man, his every word and gesture proving that he would be a kind and loving father to precious little William, despite his crippling injuries.

She looked out to the horizon, remembering Bill’s almost dismissive account of how he’d sustained those injuries. Like so many men who’d been
through the horrors of war, he was reluctant to go into any real detail, but he’d said enough to paint a very stark picture of what had happened.

He’d been in the desert on reconnaissance with two others when they’d been mown down by enemy fire. His comrades were dead, but despite having a bullet in his thigh, he’d managed to hide among the rocks of a nearby escarpment. With the Germans camped in the dunes below him, he was trapped for several days before he could try and make his way back to his battalion. Then he’d slipped and fallen, breaking his leg so badly he’d passed out with the pain, his identification papers fluttering away to be lost among the desert sands.

The Bedouin had found him some time later, delirious and badly dehydrated. They’d tended his wounds and revived him enough to make the long trek across the desert to an Allied camp where the medics had had little option but to amputate his leg, for gangrene had set in. It was weeks before he was coherent enough to tell anyone who he was.

After a long and difficult recovery in a military hospital in Cairo, he’d finally been repatriated, to find a stack of returned mail waiting for him – and the news that his beloved Franny was dead, but that his son had survived.

Julie gave a deep sigh and turned away from the seafront. Bill had certainly earned the right to be a father to his son, and she knew in her heart that he would make sure William knew who she
was, and what she’d done for him in his precious first few months. It was time to accept that and move on.

It was still early and hardly anyone was out, but as she arrived at the surgery, she could see that Maud was already on her knees scrubbing the floor.

‘Morning, ducks,’ she said brightly, glad of the excuse to stop work. ‘Up with the lark, as usual, I see.’ She tilted her head towards Michael’s consulting room. ‘Doc’s already in, if you were wanting a word,’ she said with a knowing smile.

‘Thanks, Maud.’ Julie tiptoed across the damp floor, tapped on Michael’s door and went in.

‘Hello, you’re early,’ he said, standing up as she closed the door behind her. ‘There isn’t a problem with William, is there?’

‘No. His father tells me he’s coming along a treat.’ She adjusted her apron and sat down. ‘Firstly, I wanted to say how grateful I am for all the care you and Mr Watson have taken with him. I don’t think he would have pulled through without you both.’

His dark eyes became watchful as she hesitated. ‘What is it, Sister Harris?’

‘I’ve come to give you me notice,’ she replied. ‘Of course I won’t be leaving immediately, but I’ve been offered the chance to take up a post at me old place in London. They’ll need me to start in four weeks.’

‘But we need you here,’ he blurted.

‘No, you don’t,’ she replied softly. ‘You have three
volunteers, Mrs Clough who’s only too delighted to use her nursing skills again, and Eunice. I also heard that another district nurse is starting in three weeks.’