Where the Heart Chooses (14 page)

“You object?”

“Don’t take that cold tone with me. If I
hadn’t…”

I swallowed a smile, knowing I didn’t need
to worry about my husband, and hurried up to the room we’d be
sharing. I needed to change.

* * * *

Mother was crossing the lawn as I left the
house with my son in my arms. “Portia! You’re late.”

“Yes, Mother. I apologize.” I knew better
than to give any excuses. She would see through them, no matter how
cleverly I framed them.

“This is Johanna, your brother’s fiancée.
Johanna, my daughter, Portia, and her son, Quinton.” She took
Quinton from me and kissed both cheeks, his chin, and his forehead.
“How is my little man?”

“He’s wonderful, as always.” I smiled at the
very attractive young woman who was beside her. “Hello, and welcome
to the family.”

“Thank you. I’ve been looking forward to
meeting Bryan’s family.”

“And we’ve been looking forward to meeting
you. I’m so pleased Bryan’s found someone who loves him.” I looked
around. “Are your children napping? I can put off our ride. I’d
love to meet them.”

“Bill’s parents—my former in-laws—insisted
on having them this weekend.”

“That’s too bad. We could have all gone
riding.”

“Oh, no! I couldn’t allow…that is, they’ve
never been on a horse, and they’d be terrified.”

“Not at all. We’ll put them up on Friar
Tuck, who was my pony. He’s very good-tempered, and he’d keep to a
gentle walk.”

“Let me remind you that these are my
children, and I won’t have them subjected to an activity that
frightens them!”

That took me aback, and I glanced at Mother.
She shrugged, and I could see from her expression that she had no
intention of discussing Johanna’s children, who of course couldn’t
be held to Sebring standards.

Just then, my son began fidgeting, and she
handed him back to me. “Mother, I’m going to give Quinton his first
riding lesson.”

“Certainly, Portia. Let this little man have
his first taste of horseback riding.”

“But he’s just a baby!” Johanna
exclaimed.

“Oh, I’ll be holding him. I’m sure once you
and Bryan have children, he’ll have them up on a pony at an early
age.”

She seemed to turn pale at that, but perhaps
it was simply the light.

“I’ll see you at dinner, Mother. Johanna.”
And Quinton and I strolled to the stable.

* * * *

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Bryan.” I nodded
to Ogilvie, the head groom. “I ran into Mother and Johanna.”

“Ah.”

“I’ll get the horses, Mr. Bryan.”

“Thanks, Ogilvie.” Bryan pushed himself away
from the fence he’d been lounging against. “Let me take Quinton
until you get yourself mounted.”

“You’re just using that as an excuse to hold
the baby.”

“I am.” He smiled as he took his nephew in
his arms and cradled him, humming softly under his breath. He was
going to make the most marvelous father. Not as marvelous as Nigel,
of course, but…

“Here you go, Miss Portia.” Ogilvie led out
my chestnut mare.

“Thank you. Hello, Penelope. Have you missed
me?” She rubbed her nose against my shoulder, and I offered her a
sugar cube I’d brought with me. I patted her neck, gathered the
reins, and stepped into the stirrup. Once I was settled in the
saddle, I leaned down and took Quinton from his uncle.

Bryan mounted his brown gelding. “Which
trail, Portia?”

“Let’s take the one to the Christmas tree
plantation.” I sat Quinton before me and held him secure with my
arm around his little body. “Mother is quite enthusiastic about it,
and I’m interested in seeing how they’re progressing.” A couple of
years before she’d decided we should grow our own Christmas trees,
and she intended one eventually for Rockefeller Center if it grew
large enough.

“Are you really going to tell Nigel what
Father had done to Marlowe?”

“No. I’ll simply inform him that Father
dealt with the matter.”

“And he’ll let it go at that?”

“Why shouldn’t he? It’s not as if I were
lying to him.”

“I really am sorry—”

“Enough, Bryan. That was fifteen years
ago.”

“Yes, and you were only fifteen. I should
have—”

I nudged Penelope close enough to him so
that when I freed my boot, I could kick him. “
Enough
, I
said. You verbally eviscerated him when you overheard him laughing
over what he’d done. And considering what Father had done to him,
it added insult to injury very nicely—I always thought so. So can
we just put a stone on this?”

He stared into my eyes, then smiled and
nodded. “All right then. Tell me, little sister. What did you think
of Johanna?”

“She’s lovely, and she seems to be a
very…devoted mother.”

“Yes, she does love her children.” He
sighed. “I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get her away from them
today.”

“Oh?”

“They were supposed to visit their other
grandparents, but they hadn’t left when I arrived to pick up
Johanna, and they pitched such tantrums. I swear I have no problem
with her putting her children before me—well, not much of a
problem—” He grinned ruefully. “But the way she lets them dictate
to her…” He swore under his breath. “Forget I said that, please.
She is a devoted mother, as you say, and that’s what’s important.
She was devastated when Bill was killed in Vietnam.”

“I’m very sorry for her loss.” A few
messages had come across my desk when the Buddhists were trying to
gain concessions from President Diem. I didn’t like him, but
Southeast Asia wasn’t part of my job.

“Bill was a great guy. I was in their
wedding party, you know.”

“Don’t tell me you fell in love with her
then!”

“I don’t believe in love at first
sight.”

“Well, I guess that it was a good
thing.”

“Yes. It would have been problematic,
otherwise.”

“How long has it been?”

“Since Bill’s passing? Almost two
years.”

“You’re the first man she’s dated since
then?”

“Yes.”

I could understand her being protective of
her children, but…

“I knew you’d love her!” Bryan had misread
my silence. “She’s so gentle and caring.”

“As long as you love her, Bryan, and she
loves you.” I wasn’t going to ask if she was his one. He was
marrying her.

“Do you want to trot?”

“I’d love to, but I promised Nigel I’d keep
Penelope to a walk.”

“Do you mind if I let Artichoke gallop?”

“Go ahead. I can see he’s been restless for
the past five minutes.”

He threw me another rueful smile, touched
his heels to his gelding’s side, and took off.

“See how well Uncle Bryan handles his horse,
sweetheart? One day, that’s going to be you!”

* * * *

“What’s bothering you, darling?” Nigel asked
as we got ready for bed that night. We’d gotten the discussion of
Marlowe, the burr under my saddle, and what Father had done to him
out of the way when we’d spent some time with Quinton before
dinner, so he was aware it wasn’t that.

“I don’t like her.”

“You concealed it very well.”

“Of course I did.”

He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “What was
it about her that you disliked?”

“She comes across as so helpless.” And so
catty. It made me grind my teeth in irritation.

Nigel and I joined the family in the parlor
for before dinner drinks. Bryan was talking with Mother and Father
about the guest list for his wedding.

“
Manhattan, darling?”

“
Yes, please.” I joined Johanna, who was
standing alone. “That’s a lovely dress.”

“
Thank you. I was about to say the same
thing about yours. I’m so jealous!” She looked me over, seeming to
be fascinated with the triple strand of lavender pearls I wore
around my throat. “You certainly got your figure back quickly. It
took me forever after little Billy was born.”

“
My job keeps my active.”

“
How can you bear to work and leave your
precious baby at home?”

I could hardly tell her that at times,
national security depended on the work I did.

Nigel rejoined us and handed me my drink. I
angled my body, and in an action that was only visible to him,
pursed my lips and blew him a kiss.

“
Nigel, don’t you want your wife waiting
with a drink and dinner ready for you when you get home?”

“
I’m very happy with everything Portia
does for me.”

“
That’s very unconventional.”

Nigel and I exchanged smiles. “But
conventional can be so very ordinary.”

“
Yes, of course.” She gave him a vague
smile. “If you’ll excuse me?” And she went to Bryan.

Now Nigel said, “Not everyone can be you.
And I mean that as a compliment.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He brushed a quick kiss
across my lips. “And did you ever stop to think that her
helplessness might be exactly what Bryan is looking for?”

“I suppose that’s possible. I’ve never met
anyone he’s dated before now.”

“Will you talk to him?”

“No.” He seemed determined to marry her.
“It’s not my business.”

“Your father approves.”

“He would. He wants a grandson—”

Nigel coughed. “May I remind you that he has
one?”

“With the Sebring name,” I clarified.

“Ah. Let’s go to bed.”

“In a moment, darling. What did Father want
to talk to you about?”

“I’d hoped you’d forgotten about that.”

“That’s highly unlikely.”

“Yes, but I could hope.” He tipped my chin
up and looked into my eyes. “He noticed the love bite I placed on
your throat.”

“Bryan said as much earlier.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Have you heard me objecting?”

“Well…no. However, your father isn’t happy
about it.”

“I’m sure you’ve observed by now that he and
Mother haven’t the warmest relationship.”

“That’s what he wanted for us.”

I couldn’t help chuckling. “In that case,
he’s destined to be disappointed.”

“He worries it might distract you.”

Suddenly it was no longer amusing. “Has he
had any complaints about my work? Has Tony said anything to
him?”

“No.” But he looked as if there was
something more he wanted to say.

“Nigel?”

He smiled and shook his head. “You’re right.
He is destined to be disappointed.” He kissed me and caught my
hand. “Let’s go to bed.”

* * * *

By the end of that summer, I found my heart
was no longer in my work.

It was the police action—the diplomat’s term
for war—that did it for me. Vietnam took all the excitement, the
satisfying feeling of matching wits with our opponents, out of
intelligence. Nigel watched me with sad eyes as I told him I was
handing in my resignation.

“If this is what you want, darling.”

“Father is in Chevy Chase right now. I’d
better give him a call and let him know I need to speak with
him.”

One of the deals he was brokering must have
turned out well, because he was in a very cheerful mood. “Yes, of
course, come for dinner. Your mother is here.”

“You’d better ask Tony to come also.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” he said absently, and
I hung up before he could ask why my oldest brother needed to be
there.

The drive took us less than half an hour.
Nigel gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as we entered the
house.

Except for Jefferson, who was on assignment
in Europe, his partner, and Bryan’s wife, the entire family was
represented.

“Well, what’s going on, Portia?” Tony
scowled at me. “You’re not going to tell us you’re pregnant again,
are you?”

“No. I’m leaving.”

“Mann?” Father demanded.

“Yes?” Nigel raised an inquiring
eyebrow.

Father made an impatient sound. “You’re
leaving Mann, Portia?”

Bryan looked stunned and Tony ambiguous.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “No,
Father.”

“Mann’s leaving
you
?” Father’s
expression was an odd combination of disappointment and
satisfaction.

Nigel stared at the three of them as if
they’d lost their collective minds. “No, I am
not
leaving
Portia! Holy good God, how could you think such an idiotic
thing?”

“In that case, who is my sister
leaving?”

“Not
who
, Tony.
What
. The
NSA.” I handed him an envelope. “This contains my resignation.”

“Mann, you’re not seriously allowing
this!”

“Mr. Sebring, I’m Portia’s husband, not her
master. It’s Portia’s decision. It always has been.”

“But she’s one of the best—” Tony started to
say, but Nigel interrupted him.

“No, she’s
the
best. And she’s had
enough.”

“You never did see life beyond the job, big
brother,” Bryan murmured, but I didn’t think Tony heard him.

“Now, now, there’s no need to be hasty,”
Father said, using a soothing tone of voice, as if I were a
fractious mare. “Let’s talk this out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Father.”

“Portia—”

“Enough, Anthony.”

We all turned to stare at Mother, startled
not only by her unexpected appearance but by her words. She never
interfered.

“You had no problem when she told you she
was willing to join you and her brothers working for the
government.” She came to stand beside me. Of course she didn’t put
an arm around my shoulders—not that she would have—but she was
siding with me, and that meant more than physical contact ever
could. “Accept her decision now.”

I found it extremely interesting that my
father immediately backed down.

“Bryan, why don’t you say something?” Tony
demanded.

Bryan raised an eyebrow. “I have more than
enough on my plate dealing with my wife and her children.”