Where the Birds Hide at Night (16 page)

‘Help meee,' Dr. Bullings cried out on the plane, as Mr Monkey managed to free one paw and was attempting to garrotte his opponent with the wire out of the floor.

Surprisingly he succeeded, and Dr. Bullings went all limp and died. The puppet now freed himself from the chair. How to get out? When you're thirty thousand feet in the air, there isn't much chance of escape. He picked up a gun from Dr. Bullings' body and bounced over to the door in which the dead medic had made his entrance not so long ago.

He wandered about the plane for some time, his polyester legs dangling with freedom, until he came to a large golden door. There was a large button next to the door, so he pressed it and the door slid open. Behind it was the posh dining area of this obviously luxury plane. A man was sitting on a swivel chair with his back to Mr Monkey.

‘We've been expecting you,' the man murmured.

‘What do you mean, we? There is only you and myself in here,' Mr Monkey replied.

‘Forgive me,' replied the man confidently, ‘but I don't get many visitors dropping in for a chat. Let me introduce myself. I am your worst enemy… I am Liam Perrin!' he announced, spinning around in the chair just in time for Mr Monkey to see his mouth close. It was a large mouth, surrounded by an elaborate ginger goatee beard. Gel had helped fashion either tip of the moustache into decorative twirls. Atop the man's narrow head sat an abundance of golden curls, though his hair was shaved at the sides.

The puppet looked startled at first, then pointed the gun at him. ‘The Worm! I should have guessed it would be you. Still doing The Clown's dirty work.' He grunted in a monkeyish way, even though he was technically a puppet of an orang-utan. Orang-utans aren't monkeys, but it wasn't wise to try to explain this to Mr Monkey. He wasn't a gibbon either. ‘Where is he?'

‘Who?' The Worm asked with a big smirk.

‘The Clown, you slippery invertebrate,' he demanded angrily.

‘I don't know what you mean,' he replied in a calm manner.

‘Don't play sweet with me.'

‘Would I do that, especially to a man with an unloaded gun?' The Worm quickly pulled out a gun and Mr Monkey tried to shoot him, but no bullets came out. ‘What a shame, Brendan. Such a young life to end before his time is up.'

‘I'm a puppet, I'm timeless.'

‘Timeless, yet fodder for someone else's hand and voice.'

‘Liam,' Mr Monkey whispered sweetly, ‘if you don't mind me asking, well seeing as you are going to kill me; how exactly have you and Colin The Clown remained hidden for so long until now?' he queried, in a calm sensible manner.

‘Well I'd like to think that you went to hell with peace of mind, so I'll tell you.' The Worm smirked as Mr Monkey looked surprised to be getting something out of him so easily. A little too easily. ‘The problem arouse when an old lady, very ill lady at that, took me in from an institute I ended up at. She pretended she was my mother and seeing that I had amnesia took advantage of me. I lived with her and Colin lived with his real life wife and daughter. Your section couldn't track us down, and you thought Colin's family was dead so that didn't provide any new lines of inquiry.'

‘What a bittersweet tale of woe,' Mr Monkey mocked.

‘Yes, well both Colin and I have regained our memories now and we are after you… or should I say were after you. Colin told me to keep you alive until we landed, but I can't wait that long,' he cackled.

‘That Dr. Bullings put up quite a fight just before,' Mr Monkey giggled. ‘I soon dispatched him.'

‘I just sent him in to soften you up.'

‘He must have forgotten the fabric softener,' Mr Monkey chuckled.

‘A man of that size is very respected. I picked him up in my old neighbourhood. In fact he's the last piece in the puzzle, or jig-saw shall we say,' The Worm carried on with yet more smirking.

‘What do you mean?'

‘He was just an innocent man, brainwashed by The Clown and me. We are such master criminals,' he explained with mirth, as he scratched his nose with the barrel of the gun. ‘We have been dabbling in science, you see.'

Mr Monkey leapt at The Worm as soon as the gun was pointing away from him. The gun was thrown into the air as they both battled for it. The Worm was fairly wriggly, slipping from the puppet's admittedly flimsy grasp, and he managed to gain the upper hand. He threw Mr Monkey onto the table where his coffee was, this surprisingly allowing him to make a grab for the gun. Sadly, The Worm kicked it out of the way. There was an open door near to Mr Monkey, so he seized the opportunity and jumped through it and into another corridor. The door locked behind him and he rested for a moment, looking around.

There was a pair of double doors marked ‘Cargo Hold', which were locked. Looking around for an instrument in which to open the doors with force, a fire extinguisher caught his eye. He picked it up and soon found himself smashing the doors to pieces and entering a very packed room. He looked around for a few moments until he came to his luggage – a briefcase and wrapped parcel. How thoughtful of The Clown and The Worm to bring his belongings along for the ride too.

‘Hold it right there Mr,' a husky voice announced behind him. He dropped his briefcase but kept hold of the parcel, slowly turning to face this person. It was a woman, pointing a gun at his furry head.

‘Hello Mrs…' Mr Monkey gestured.

‘Miss. My name is Kelly Salifield,' she replied with unease. ‘Give me your parcel.'

‘What a nice offer from a pretty lady,' Mr Monkey laughed. For this, she whacked him across the head with the gun.

‘Open it,' she ordered.

‘Is that a demand or a come-on?' he asked with absolute honesty.

‘Just open it,' she yelled.

He slowly unravelled the neatly wrapped brown box, keeping eye contact with Miss Salifield, and removed the contents of the parcel. It was a red ball.

‘What's that?' Miss Salifield demanded.

‘A present from home,' Mr Monkey giggled as he threw the small red ball at her. She dropped the gun and caught it with both hands, looking up just in time to see the mischievous puppet protrude one of his purple button eyes and dive behind a large crate of luggage as the red ball exploded, blowing Miss Salifield's hands clean off in the process. She fell to the floor, screaming. Mr Monkey took out yet another red ball and threw it down hard onto the floor of the plane near to the screaming woman. It exploded and made a hole in the plane, causing everything to gush around in a whirlpool. The puppet grabbed hold of his briefcase and hit the cargo door button. The back hatch began to open as the plane dipped down, drastically dropping its height as it neared the ground. The frantic puppet spotted a car near to the hatch. He sat in the driver's seat and placed his briefcase in the passenger's side. There came a groan from the back seat of the car. He turned around to see a stunning young blonde woman lying across the two seats with her arms and feet bound together. Her mouth was gagged. He turned his whole body around to face the girl, removing the gag.

‘Get off me, leave me alone,' she cried, struggling to get Mr Monkey away from her. Maybe she was a little puzzled by the puppet's presence. It's not everyday a puppet rescues you, after all.

‘I'm on your side,' he argued as he shook the girl softly, ‘I'm a prisoner too!'

‘I don't take sides,' she shot back, ‘and how do I know you're not a part of ARSEN?' the girl shrieked.

‘What on earth is ARSEN?' The puzzled puppet queried.

‘You mean you don't know?' asked the girl. Mr Monkey thought about raising an eyebrow, but realised he didn't have any. Instead, he protruded one of his purple button eyes again. ‘Untie me then.'

‘So, I'm on your side. What's ARSEN?' he asked again, as he untied the girl with his mouth.

‘This is who we're fighting here – a gang of master criminals.'

‘So it's not just The Clown and The Worm then! Who are you?' he wondered. The girl stretched her arms and legs and rubbed the marks on her wrists that the ropes had made.

‘Who are
you
?' the girl demanded.

‘I'm your only hope of survival… and possibly sexual fulfilment. Now, let's get out of here,' he yelled as the wind from the open hatch had made it difficult for them to hear each other.

‘Not through there!' she screamed as he hot-wired the car and got it going. ‘Don't tell me we're going through there,' trembled the girl pointing at the open hatch and the vast expanse of sky ahead.

‘It's our only chance of escape.'

‘
Was
your only chance of escape,' The Worm chuckled as he stood behind the car, holding a gun at the pair.

‘You picked up the unloaded gun, wormy boy,' Mr Monkey laughed back at him.

‘What?' The Worm murmured as he looked down the barrel of the gun. Mr Monkey thrashed the car into reverse and backed into the slithering cretin, sending him flying through the smashed double doors.

‘The gun
is
loaded!' Mr Monkey roared with mirth, satisfied that he had fooled a leading international crook. He changed the gear into forward and proceeded to drive out of the cargo door at the rear of the plane, in mid-air.

‘We're thirty thousand feet up, are you mad?' the girl screeched.

‘The plane's about to make an emergency landing, I expect we're about a hundred feet at most.' They both found themselves flying out of the back of the plane, screaming as it carried on cutting through the air behind them. The car soon landed on top of a speeding train. ‘Just in time to catch the train,' he joked, as he grabbed hold of the girl and leapt out of the convertible onto the top of the train. Suddenly they went under a bridge, the girl seeing it first and pushing Mr Monkey over to avoid him being decapitated. She also ducked just in time, the bridge taking the car with it. ‘Stay here and don't move,' he ordered her as he jumped up.

‘You're not ordering me about,' she snarled stubbornly. Mr Monkey produced a large coil of rope from his briefcase and tied one end onto a hook on the roof of the train. Suddenly, he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. Turning around calmly and slowly, he came face to face with a seven foot ape-like creature, in reality a very tough-looking gentleman. This man tossed Mr Monkey off the train like an unwanted toy and ran after the girl. She managed to lose him momentarily, but then tripped as one of her high heels snapped. Mr Monkey held onto the rope as he was hopelessly dragged through a forest of trees and bushes, at a speed of near one hundred miles an hour. The man revealed a knife and began to cut the rope that the poor puppet was so desperately clinging onto. The girl suddenly found herself and picked up the briefcase, slamming the man on the head. He went flying off the train and onto Mr Monkey. Clung he did, pulling the puppet's threads apart with his vast weight as they both struggled with each other. The man lifted his head up just in time to find a large branch off a tree take it clean off. The headless body kept clinging on for about another ten seconds before it caught up with the fact there was no longer a head, then the grip loosened and it dropped away.

The girl hauled Mr Monkey up to safety as he struggled to remain untangled from various twigs and forest shrubbery.

Meanwhile, inside the train below, Ruby and Arthur were still busy eating snacks.

‘Sounds like a little disturbance upon the roof,
dearest
,' Arthur exclaimed.

‘Oh here we go, what the hell is going to happen to us now?' Ruby growled with indignation.

Above them, Mr Monkey lay on top of the train. The girl could hardly keep her balance as they tore through the air.

‘Please be alright, I don't want to be alone again,' cried the girl as she peered at his flat polyester body. He wasn't moving one iota. She turned away to see if anyone was coming. As she did so, the naughty puppet looked up at her. She turned around as he lay still once more. She bent over him and wondered what to do. His mouth was hanging open, so she pushed it together. It fell open again, his fluffy tongue popping out. There was nothing else for it, she gave him the kiss of life. Dear life was instantly restored as he beamed with joy!

‘I was gone for a minute,' he feigned, springing up unhurt.

‘You, you rotter.' She leapt up from him in disgrace at his toying with her emotions.

‘Come on! You're quite the kisser, aren't you?!' he cooed. ‘Anyway, we have to get into the train. It's not safe up here on the roof,' he pointed out, grabbing hold of the rope again.

‘What do you want me to do?' she asked.

‘Stay here, lie down and hold on!' Mr Monkey chuckled.

‘Your sense of humour is sickly,' she replied in deadly seriousness.

He bent over the train headfirst, peering into the window. Luckily Ruby and Arthur were too busy fighting over the last bag of crisps to notice the puppet dangling right against their window. Without a word of warning, he somersaulted down the side of the train and leapt underneath it. There was a hatch door in the floor of the train, which he forced open but attempted to keep quiet. As he poked his head into the train he found himself under a table, gazing up a woman's skirt. A sneeze came out of the puppet, instantly sending the woman into a fit of terror. It was Ruby, and suddenly Arthur's boot clacked Mr Monkey in the face and almost sent him tumbling onto the railway track below. The foot came again but this time he grabbed a hold of it. He soon found himself clinging on for dear life once again, this time relying on a foot and a boot. Arthur yelled out in agony as Mr Monkey twisted his ankle to try and get the upper hand. With quite a struggle, he anchored himself up using Arthur's leg and finally found himself safely on the train. He got up from under the table and bounced off. Many passengers were gathered round. They couldn't believe it. Arthur collapsed, clutching his leg.