Where I Want to Be (15 page)

Now Jeffey—the Gazelle, tall and skinny, who was signed with a New York modeling agency—gave Ella a long blink, as if she didn’t get it. “Then why’d you ask him to Alison’s?”

“Because he’d dropped so many hints,” Ella answered. “It was more that he asked me to ask him.”

“Convenient.” Alison snorted. “Since you worship him.”

Ella, wrapped in a towel and on the way to the showers with the rest of the Group, had stopped to thumb through her cell messages. Suddenly she raised her phone and snapped a picture of their mirrored reflection. “So you claim.”

“Looze!” Faulkner squealed. “I hate having my picture taken. You
know
that.”

Ella clicked again. “Why? Because you’re secretly revolting?”

“Because I’m in a towel, for one. Dumbass.”

“One more,” said Ella. “I always end on odd numbers. It’s my thing. You
know
that, Useless.” Mimicking Faulkner as she clicked in her face. Mean nicknames was another Group trademark: Tard, Donut, Zero, Looza, Useless, Dumbass, Lardass, Dali Lardass. And if what Natalya said was true, the Group had secret nicknames for everyone.

“I know mine, but only because I’ve been here since kindergarten. I’m Zaweirdski and the Wad and Nub,” she’d once confessed. “One day I’ll tell you more about that last one.” She’d looked slightly flustered. “You’re something, too. Whatever it is, that’s the only thing they call you. Don’t worry, though. You’ll never find out.”

Tal was right. To our faces, the Group was vaguely, indifferently polite.

“Did you hear Julian’s father’s car dealership is kaput?” Lindy broadcast as I rapped on the door for Tal to hurry. I knew she was holed up on purpose, hoping to wait them out. So unfair. It was a hundred times more awkward to be here on the outside than safe in a stall. “Kilgarry Saab. Tragic. I hear they’re totally poor.”

“That’s a tacky rumor,” said Ella with chilly authority. “And you should shut up, Looze. People are listening.”

Instant silence.

Ella meant me. I was “people.” So I hadn’t been invisible to Ella. She knew I’d been eavesdropping.

I glanced away, but when I looked back, she was staring right at me. My pulse points jumped. I’d never looked Ella Parker in the eyes, which were white-gray, almost a noncolor.

Her phone was poised at me. She snapped. I flinched. She smiled, an uptick at the edges of her mouth. Like we were in on something together. It was a moment that felt as important as a kiss or a secret.

Then it was over. As Ella pocketed the phone and brushed past me toward the showers. Nearly bumping into Natalya, all pinned up and making a break for it.

praise for
where i want to be

“Masterfully weaves the past and ghostly present into the story as the line between imagination and reality, life and death, blurs for the characters and readers alike in this powerful story.”—
Kirkus Reviews
, starred review

“A tender and nuanced exploration of sisterhood and self.”—
BCCB

“Griffin … overlays her story with a supernatural patina that will immediately draw in the audience.”—
Booklist
, starred review

A N
ATIONAL
B
OOK
A
WARD
F
INALIST

ADELE GRIFFIN
, a two-time National Book Award Finalist, is the critically acclaimed author of numerous novels for young adults, including the National Book Award Finalists
Where I Want to Be
and
Sons of Liberty
, the Vampire I sland series,
Overnight
,
My
Almost Epic Summer
, and
The Julian Game
. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.