Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (35 page)

Chapter 44

Charlie wandered up the path to Sarah’s house and rang the bell and waited for her Aunt to appear. All the while she hummed the tune to ‘Take my breath away’ as in her mind her feet were still dancing the steps.

“Hi
Charlotte” Sarah said “Your Mum said you were going to pop in” she finished.

“Yes, I kind of need to talk to you about something”
Charlotte said, as she stepped into her second home.

“Go through to the garden and I’ll get you a drink” Sarah replied, following her god-daughter through and pausing in the kitchen to grab some glasses of orange juice. The wine in the afternoon had given her a headache already. Then once out on the patio she wandered over and took the chair opposite Charlie and passed her the glass.

After a long slug Charlie began
.

“Mum lent me her diary from 1988 about the time she spent with James, when I was upset about Craig
and I’ve finished it but I need to know a few things” she finished.

“About what?” Sarah asked, breathing in deeply as she realised all that the diary would have revealed.

“Well about New Year’s Eve really?

“Ok, I’ll try my best but it’s hard to talk about this stuff as I felt at the time I had let your Mum down badly. I wish she had talked more about how she was feeling and especially about the Wedding invitation when I was with her that afternoon getting ready for our big night out” Sarah paused, and wished that she had put some vodka in with her orange juice.

“Mark your Dad was the first to alert us that she had run out of the club so I grabbed Chris and the three of us headed out in the street hoping she was still in sight. When she wasn’t we decided to try the river as it’s one of her favourite places and then after that we headed to the house”

“Go on”
Charlotte urged, even though tears were already falling down her cheeks as she remembered the words in the diary.

“Well we found your Mum in the bath tub and Chris managed to pull her out and wrap her in a towel so that Mark could start to revive her, we had no idea how long she had been unconscious for and whether she would make it but Mark, your Dad was so calm and just ordered me and Chris about to get the ambulance on it’s way”

Sarah passed a tissue to her god-daughter and paused for a moment reliving that night again as if it was yesterday.

“Did it take Mum long to recover?” Charlotte asked, eventually as she blew her nose.

“Well, she was in Hospital for about a week and then just had to wait for the scars to heal and she had to have some physio to get
her wrists working again”

“No I kind of meant in her mind?”
Charlotte finished “I kind of need to know before the dance competition next weekend” she finished.

“Why?” Sarah asked; her
curiosity piqued by this turn of conversation.

She watched as
Charlotte wrestled with what she was considering saying and then she continued

“Well Mitchell’s Dad is called James Cooke” she finished, as she watched the colour drain from her Aunt’s face.

“Fucking hell, how on earth did that happen?” Sarah said, amazed by the slim odds of anyo
ne predicting this, let alone it actually occurring.

“I know it makes your brain reel if you think about it too much”
Charlotte said.

“So I’m guessing that James will be at the dance competition next weekend?”

“Yes and they are staying in the same hotel as us and I just don’t know whether to tell Mum or just let her meet him there?”

“Christ, I don’t know what to
advice but I guess that in answer to your previous question I don’t think your Mum ever truly got over James, even when she was married to your Dad. Sorry I had to say that to you but I guess honesty in the best policy here”

“I was hoping you might say that” Charlotte said “James knows who my Mum is, he guessed when I stayed there last weekend and he is single now and he said that he had made a mistake in ever letting her go and I think he still loves her too” Charlotte said, as she drained the last drops of juice from her glass. She looked over at her Aunt who was still in shock with the news.

Shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts Sarah finally managed to finish her drink as she started to worry about Stephanie. How happy she had been this afternoon with the thoughts of a potential secret admirer. How would a meeting with James after twenty four years affect her mentally? What would James think when he found out she had nearly died over the loss of him? Finally what would Chris do when he met his estranged best friend again? As all these thoughts tumbled around her head
she saw Charlie stand up.

“Thanks Aunt Sarah, I’m going to speak to Mitch this weekend and see what
he thinks we should do about Mum”

“Ok Charlie, I’ll think on it t
oo and let you know”

“Can you keep it secret?” Charlie finished

“Yes, Mum’s the word” Sarah said, giving Charlie a hug and kiss.

“I’d better get going, I’m starving all this dancing make you hungry” she grinned

“You know where I am if you need me, don’t hesitate” Sarah finished

“Thanks again, you’re the best” Charlie shouted, as she headed through the gate and towards home.

The music was on as
Charlotte let herself into the house and headed past the kitchen towards the stairs. She spotted her Mum dancing around the island to some Savage Garden track and smiled: she really did look happy. Upstairs under the shower Charlotte considered her Aunt’s words. It was good to know that Sarah still thought that her Mum had feelings for James but the whole suicide business was the curved ball here and Charlotte just didn’t know what was for the best. After a lovely supper together Charlie excused herself and headed upstairs to ponder all the possibilities a meeting could cause and also to text Mitchell before she went to bed. It had become a lovely habit to exchange a couple of texts before drifting off and always seemed to mean that Charlie had good dreams to fall into.

The rest of the week seemed to fly by in the usual state of home life versus work life. I was definitely enjoying work more that I ever had before. My Wednesday song from my secret admirer was ‘Kokomo’ by The Beach boys so I joined in with the holiday theme and played ‘Holiday’ by Madonna. I also commented that the song was included in one of my favourite films ‘Cocktail’ as I remembered sitting in the cinema with James and dreaming about making love on the beach and under the waterfall. Not that many miles away James felt sure that she had guessed it was him with the Cocktail mention. He too recalled the feel of her hand on his leg in the darkness. If they ever did get back together then he would be taking her on the holiday of lifetime so that he could fulfil her dreams.

The Thursday song turned out to be ‘I want your sex’ by George Michael so I really had a giggle with the guys in the studio and in return I played ‘We don’t have to take our clothes off’ by Jermaine Stewart. Even Jack sent me over a text for that one saying it was a class flirting rebuttal. Mitchell had wandered into the kitchen and found his Dad laughing as the Jermaine Stewart track played on the radio. Something was definitely a foot but when he asked what was funny James replied “It’s a secret”. So Mitchell continued through to his studio and started to warm up while he waited for the rest of the guys to turn up.

As the sun shone on Friday morning Charlotte burst into the kitchen early, bags flying.

“You do remember that Mitchell is coming over today and he’s meeting me at college so he can join in with practice and then bringing me home on his bike” she said, hardly stopping for breath.

“Yes I hadn’t forgotten you’ve been reminding me all week” I said “Do you want a lift this morning?” I finished.

“Yes please, I never realised how heavy bike helmets were”
Charlotte said, gulping down her coffee and ending up with the hiccups; much to my amusement.

In the background Paul was on again and he had today’s song choice from m
y secret admirer. I moved to turn the dial up to hear what my song was today and grabbed my phone so that I could reply.

“Morning Stephanie your song from your Mystery Man today is ‘She wants to dance with me’ by Rick Astley so give us a call or text and let me know if you want to send one in reply” Paul said, as the familiar tune started to fill the kitchen. Picking up the phone I gave Paul a call

“Hi Paul, can you reply with ‘Dancing on the ceiling’ by Lionel Richie.

“Ok Steph, I’ve had an idea to ask our listeners if they think you should meet your secret admirer at the Rock on the River event?”

I paused to digest this information, the scared part of me wanted to say no as if we never met then I would never get hurt again, but on the other hand maybe this was the time to be bold and go for it.

“Ok Paul, you have my permission to do a text vote on this” I replied, with a certain amount of trepidation.

“Cool Steph, gotta go now as the song’s nearly finished, see you later” and he had hung up.

“
So listeners Stephanie’s song back today is ‘Dancing on the Ceiling’ by Lionel Richie and I think we should decide whether Steph takes the plunge and meets her mystery man at our fabulous Rock on the River event so drop us a text with a yes and at the end of my show we’ll announce the results” Paul finished as the song started to play and I gathered up my car keys and shouted to Charlotte.

“It’s time to go, are you ready?” I shouted
.

“Yes Mum, just coming”
Charlotte replied. She took one final long look in the mirror. She had put her cut off denims on as the weather was hot and a tight checked shirt with her red mules and red lipstick, knowing how much Mitchell loved her body. She could hardly wait to feel his hands holding her again and of course dancing with him too. In the car she dropped him a quick text.

“Hi Mitch, can’t wait to see you later, Love Charlie”

“Hi Charlie, the time is going too slow I’ve been ready since I woke up, Later, Love Mitch” he texted back.

“I’ll see you later then, what shall I do for tea?” I asked.

“Anything I don’t really mind, whatever you fancy” Charlie replied, as she jumped out of the car, Julia was waiting by the gate for her.

“Have a good day” I finished.

“I will Mum” she said, as she shut the door and then caught up with Julia for a girly chat before class. The smell of her perfume still lingered in the car as I headed home to do a quick spot of cleaning before Charlie’s guest arrived. My mind was still trying to wor
k out who my Mystery man could be and hoping that now I had agreed to a possible meeting that he wouldn’t turn out to be awful. As I turned into my driveway I spotted a Florist van in the driveway and a chap standing on the doorstep with a large bouquet of white carnations.

“Are you Mrs Stephanie Eden?” the driver asked.

“Yes, wow what a nice surprise” I replied, as I signed the slip and the driver headed back down the drive. Juggling an armful of flowers and the door key I eventually managed to get inside and headed for the kitchen. I soon located the card and opened it
to read the message enclosed.

“Stephanie,

Search your heart, search your soul and when you find me there you’ll search no more.

Your secret admirer x”

I read it through again and realised that the lines were from the Bryan Adams song ‘Everything I do, I do it for you’. Quickly I searched through my cupboards and eventually found a couple of vases and managed to distribute the large bouquet into them. With some on the kitchen table, in the lounge and even on the hallway table my house still looked full to brimming. They certainly brightened up the place as it had been so long since I had received any flowers. The only worrying thing was that my secret admirer had somehow found out my address so I needed to make sure there was no one lurking around outside.

Getting ready for work I realised that the last flowers that had arrived that way had been for Mark’s funeral which had passed in a blur for me at the time. I decided that I would take a small posy of the carnations up to his grave on my way to work. I thought about the way Mark smiled and was always full of laughter despite the pressures of his job at the hospital and I wished now that I could make amends for not loving him as much as he had loved me. Finally it seemed my heart was waking up to the possibility of a new love as I made up my mind that this time I would allow my feelings to flow; twenty four years was too long a time to keep my fragile heart wrapped safely in cotton wool.

As I stood by the headstone I ran my fingers over the cold stone, I wished that Charlotte could at least have known her Dad more before he had been taken from us that night in Hereford. No one had ever been caught for the stabbing and since then I had never been back to the Hospital even though the radio and the wards held such happy memories for me. I turned away and took a quick glance at the winding river below me, serene and peaceful in the sunshine. I looked up into the blue sky hoping that perhaps Mark was looking down and wishing me the best for the future and all its wonderful possibilities.