When You Make It Home (34 page)

“Look at me,” Theo said. “I’m right here, by your side. I’m going to stay by your side.”

Another contraction was building, but I had to tell him. “I’m afraid to love you, because I’m worried I’ll never feel safe. Oh no!” I wrapped my arms around my belly, moaning as the pain took me again.

Theo held me against him murmuring, “It’s okay,” in my ear. As the pain moved back, he wiped the sweat off my brow. “I love you, Meg. I’ll love you forever. I promise you, you’re safe with me. I will never leave you again. You can trust me.”

I believed him. His words rang true. And I also understood at that moment why they called the final stage of labor the ring of fire.

“Theo…”

“Yes?”

“I want to push.” I clutched his arms, grinding my teeth. I fought the scream, but it fought me. I wasn’t making it to a hospital.

The door opened. Hazel rushed in, with Nina and Cortez following. Cortez kneeled at my side, and then I saw the black bag he had with him. “Hey girl,” he said as he opened the bag calmly, sifting through its contents. “I’m going to check you out.” He pulled out a blood pressure cuff and slipped it on me.

Nina looked pale. “Ladies,” she said to Brooke and Bella. “Hazel will take you out for the signing now. Sorry to keep you all waiting.” And then to me she said, “I’m going to let Mike and Steve know you’re okay. They’re outside waiting for the ambulance.” She turned her back to us and spoke into her walkie-talkie.

Bella headed to the door, but Brooke hung back. “Can I stay and help?” she asked.

“No, Brooke, come on. They’re here for us. We have to go out there.”

“Do the signing without me,” Brooke said. “Unless you want me to leave?” She looked at me, but I couldn’t speak. The pain returned, and I couldn’t stop myself from bearing down with it.

“Stay,” Theo said. “We could use an extra set of hands.”

Everything happened really fast then. They helped me to the floor, and Theo lifted my dress and ripped my underpants to remove them. Not that I cared at that point, but Nina and Brooke focused on my eyes, encouraging me. Theo and Cortez switched into work mode. My head was in Nina’s lap, and Brooke and Cortez were on each side of me.

“The baby’s head is right there,” Theo said.

An ambulance siren sounded off in the distance, but it wouldn’t get to me in time.

At some point, Brooke and Cortez helped pull my legs back while Theo told me to push. The pain exploded from within, but even as I was being torn apart, every part of me screamed:
Push! Push! Push!

And there on the floor of my bookstore, surrounded by my stepmom, two veteran amputees, and a reality star, I pushed my baby into the world. Theo placed her, all wet and screaming-mad, on my chest.

“She’s perfect,” he whispered to me.

A single tear slid from the corner of my eye. “She is.”

Chapter Thirty-one

T
ime moved fast once the baby was out. One second I stared in awe at the tiny baby in my arms, and the next, paramedics erupted into the room, men in uniforms bustling around and taking charge. They took my baby away. I could see two men working on her, but she was out of my reach. I wasn’t going to panic, but I wanted her back in my arms. She was mine.

And she was wailing.

Theo stayed by my side. “They’re making sure she’s warm, that she’s getting enough oxygen,” he whispered while he stroked my hair back.

A man talked with Theo while inserting an IV into my arm. I ignored them, my eyes on the baby. “She’s crying,” I said. Her pink arms flailed, hands fisted, eyes clenched, mouth opened wide. The guys working on her offered no comfort. “She’s upset. I want to hold her.” Someone had placed a sheet over me, and a paramedic tended to my business down there. I didn’t want to think about what he was doing. Maybe I was in mild shock. My body hurt, but I didn’t care. I had a baby, and for once I could believe in those stories where a mother would lift a school bus with one hand to drag her child to safety. I wanted them to give my baby back.

I looked to Theo. “Why won’t they give her to me? She wants me.”

He was smiling at the baby, not worried at all. “It’s good for her to cry. She’s clearing her lungs.” He smiled and peered down at me, his eyes glazed over. “She’s got good lungs.”

Two men rolled me onto a stretcher. I wanted to stand, but they wouldn’t let me. They covered me with another sheet and strapped me down. My baby wailed.

“Give her to me,” I said. Someone blocked my view. All I could see was the back of everyone. I struggled to sit upright, but bound to the stretcher, my mobility was hampered. And then she went silent. Her crying stopped.

Theo touched my shoulder. “Hang on. You’ll have her in a minute.”

“I can’t see her,” I said. Tears blurred my vision. My breath came in uneven gasps. “What’s wrong?”

“Ma’am, I need you to try and calm down,” the paramedic who had placed my IV said.

Theo lowered to my ear. “Hey now, don’t cry. It’s okay,” he whispered. “Everything is okay. You want me to go see her?”

I nodded, afraid to speak.

He moved across the small room, around the paramedics that tended to my baby, and when he got to the other side of everyone I could see his face again. He looked down, and I could tell the minute he saw her. Like the sun rising, his face beamed. His joy gave me comfort. The men mumbled to each other. They shifted around, and for a moment, I lost sight of Theo. Then everyone parted, and he came to me. My baby was bundled in his arms. Swaddled in a blanket, she cooed. She peered at Theo with squinting eyes.

“Hello, beautiful,” Theo said to her. “There is someone who can’t wait to see you.”

I reached for her, and he helped settle her in my arms. Someone told me to make sure I held onto her good. As if I’d ever let her go.

Chaos moved through the bookstore. The book signing was in full swing as we came out. In the hallway, Nina rushed to us.

“Oh, she’s perfect, Meg,” Nina said as she walked along with the stretcher. “I’m proud of you. You’re amazing.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” I said. “Really.”

“Honey, it was an honor for me.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she fanned at them, blinking fast. “Everyone knows. There’s a news crew waiting outside.” At the elevator, scary tat guy looked at me as though I was the scary one. He moved aside. “They came for the Brooke and Bella crowd, but they caught on when the ambulance arrived, and now they want to interview the woman whose baby was delivered by a reality star.” The elevator was too small for Theo or Nina to fit. “Dad and Steve are outside trying to shoo them away. They’re going to follow you to the hospital. I’ll stay here and help out with the signing. Don’t worry about anything.” She took a step back, allowing the doors to roll shut.

“Wait, wait!” I called out.

Scary tat guy put his hand in the door, forcing it to open again, but Theo was gone.

Nina knew who I was looking for. She smiled. “He’s on his way downstairs. I’ll come to the hospital as soon as we’re done here.”

“Wait.” I stopped her again. “Will you do me one favor?”

“Anything.”

“Bring Hazel.”

The doors shut, and when they opened again, Theo stood waiting for us.

“What? You didn’t think I’d leave you, did you?” he asked, smiling.

With the commotion focused on the reality stars, we exited the store without too much notice.

“Can you ride with us?” I asked Theo. I held tight to the baby.

“I promise I won’t leave your side.”

The sun shone bright in the parking lot. I instinctively put my hand over the baby’s face, but her eyes were closed. Already worn out from her first hour of life, she was asleep.

Dad and Steve stood, looking lost, at the back of the ambulance. Before we got to them, a woman with a microphone ran alongside me, the cameraman behind her. “Here she is, here she is. The owner of The Book Stack gave birth today in the bookstore during Brooke and Bella’s highly anticipated book signing. How are you, Miss Michaels?”

Theo held up an arm to block her. “She’s fine, stay back.”

“One question,” the reporter pleaded.

The paramedic slowed at the back of the ambulance, and the woman came closer with her microphone. “Will you name the baby after Brooke or Bella?” she asked.

Everyone froze and waited for me to respond, and I looked down at my daughter and thought of the one thing my life had been missing all along.

“Her name is Grace.”

Chapter Thirty-two

T
he ride to the hospital passed in a blur. My baby was there. I stared at her face in disbelief, listening to Theo and the paramedic chatting like old buddies.

The ambulance pulled in at the Emergency Room doors on the ugly side of the hospital—no manicured bushes and flowerbeds like outside the maternity wing. A cop leaned across the desk to flirt with the nurse on duty. The lights pulsed bright.

A pale nurse with black fingernail polish took Grace from me. Theo held onto my hand.

“I’ll check her vitals and get her washed up for you,” the nurse said, holding Grace under her arm as if she were a football, until someone brought over a bassinet. “We’ll bring her to your room once they get you admitted.” She walked away with my whole world, or a large chunk of it.

“Stay with her, Theo,” I said. “I don’t want her to be alone. She knows your voice.”

He leaned down and stroked my cheek. “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to her the whole time. She’ll know I’m there.” I watched him go to my daughter.

By the time they set me up in a room, a different nurse let me know visitors waited to see me.

“The bookstore is your favorite place in the world,” Steve said coming into my room. “But did you have to give birth there? You could’ve taken the day off if you had mentioned you were in labor.” He laughed and grabbed my foot through the blanket. “Are you okay?”

“I didn’t know.” I shrugged and fiddled with my ID wristband. They said Grace had one to match around her ankle. “Believe me, I’m trying to live a more private life.” I heated with the memory of moaning on the floor of the bookstore.

Dad stood with his hands on his hips, a little awkward and a whole lot proud. “Are you kidding? That reality star’s your biggest fan. You made her day.” He chuckled, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “She’s been sitting out there waiting to meet the baby with the rest of us.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Steve answered. “She only caught a glimpse of Grace before Nina ushered her out.”

The door opened, and Steve and Dad moved out of the way as the nurse pushed the bassinet against my bed.

“Congratulations,” Theo said, shaking hands with Steve first and then Dad.

“Thank you,” Dad said, his voice wavering. “For helping Meg. You were there when she needed you.”

“You can say that again,” Steve said. “Oh, she’s cute.”

The nurse placed Grace in my arms and walked out as Nina and Hazel came in. Then Chelsea stuck her head in the door. “Knock, knock. Can we see, too?”

Steve ushered her in. “Come meet my niece.”

And behind Chelsea, Cortez and Brooke squeezed in. Brooke waved at me, and I waved back. The noise in the room was growing louder, but Grace slept in my arms. Theo came to my side and leaned down. “Can I get you anything?” he asked.

“Sit with me,” I whispered back, patting the bed next to me.

For over an hour, everyone took turns holding the baby and taking photos. Brooke retold the story of delivering Grace. Cortez stood by her side, filling in the parts she missed.

Steve left with Chelsea. Cortez and Brooke left together, too. Theo whispered in my ear, “Cortez got his date.”

“Impressive,” I said. I looked in Theo’s eyes and shivered. We both waited for everyone to leave, so we could be alone. His love for me was vivid on his face. I promised myself in that moment never to hold back again.

I watched as Hazel cradled her great-granddaughter. “She looks like your mother,” Hazel said and frowned. “You probably don’t want to hear that.”

“Yes, I do. You know so much that I don’t know,” I said. “Do you have any photos of my mom?”

A sad smile spread across Hazel’s face. “Oh, sure I do. I can bring them to you.”

“I’d like that. When I saw her, she gave me this.” I pulled out the heart locket from under my hospital gown. “There’s a picture of both of you in it.”

Tears flooded Hazel’s eyes. “I gave that to her.” She wiped away a stray tear. “Thank you for allowing me to hold the baby.” Grace opened her eyes and looked up at Hazel. “Oh, she’s ready for you.”

“Wait a sec,” I said, before Hazel could give me the baby. “I need a picture of you two for the baby book.”

Theo reached for the camera. “I’ll take it. We’ll get one of you girls all together.”

Hazel giggled at Theo.

After he took the picture, he offered to walk Hazel to her car. They left, and I had a moment with Dad and Nina alone. Dad had stood by Nina’s side since she’d arrived, talking and holding her hand. Something had changed between them; the tension had slipped away, and they were realigned to the way they were meant to be.

“Well,” Dad said. “You made us grandparents.”

Nina winked at him. “Hi, Grandpa.”

Dad swung her arm. “Hello, Grandma.”

Nina laughed out loud.

“You kids get out of here,” I said. “I need to spend some time with my daughter.”

“We’re proud of you,” Nina said. She came around and kissed my cheek. Her words meant more to me than I could say.

They left, and a nurse came in and helped me latch Grace on. I watched in awe as Grace nursed. I stroked her rosy cheek and opened up the blanket to see her tiny torso, little legs, and perfect feet.