When You Come to Me (56 page)

Natalie shook her head and attempted to push the bag away. “Jo, no, no, not again…”

“Please…it’s not as bad as you think it is…”

“Can I honestly take your word on that one after…you know…?”

“Natalie, don’t be such a baby,” Jo insisted, shrugging off her inhibitions.

“You do realize that Brandon is standing right here, don’t you?”

“And I’m waiting to see what’s in that bag,” he said, attempting to reach for it.

Natalie smacked his hand away, and said, “Down boy…you walk over there while I investigate…”

“Nonsense,” Brandon said. “If there are crotch-less anything in there, I would like to be the first to take a look…”

“You’re not looking at anything,” Natalie said, reaching up to touch his face. “Now, run along…”

She waited till Brandon headed toward the area where the rest of the bridal party was standing. Then she reached out for the bag.

“Good girl,” Jo smiled. “I knew you were curious…”

“Joanna, I swear,” Natalie sighed as she reached into the bag.

Some surprise.

As Natalie had suspected, Joanna had given her a tiara with fake jewels glued on, that spelled out, “Last Night of Freedom”, a black sipper cup in the shape of a penis, and, of course, another pair of open-crotched g-strings.

“Joanna Greene,” Natalie said slowly, feeling her cheeks warm.

“I see that you like my contribution,” she said, smiling.

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” she replied. “Happy Wedding…”

“I suppose I should say ‘Thank You’,” Natalie grinned, extending one arm to hug her.

“Of course you should,” she sighed. “Those g-strings will be a hit tomorrow night…”

Asha and her two sisters approached them; Maya, throwing her arms around her.

“How’d she like the penis sipper?” Asha asked, laughing teasingly.

“I picked out the black,” Maya bragged.

“Yes, that makes sense, because Brandon’s black,” Sidney snorted sarcastically. “Nattie, baby, I picked out the rather tasteful tiara…”

“That you spent all of two dollars on…” Maya said.

“Oh, but who’s providing all of the singles?”

“Did you say…singles?” Natalie asked.

“Yes,” Brandon interrupted, startling them. “What’s this I hear about…singles?”

“Singles, idiot,” Asha scoffed. “Single men and single women…like us…”

Brandon narrowed his eyes in Asha’s direction, made a strange, noise, and said, “What are you girls trying to do, corrupt my baby?”

“Not necessarily,” Maya said. “We’re trying to open her eyes to a…a…new world…”

Brandon wrapped his arms around Natalie slowly.

“I see,” he said, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

“Can I tell you lovely ladies, something?”

“Yes,” Asha said, folding her arms. “I’d love to hear it…”

“If I find out that you’ve done anything to her…I will personally kill each and every one of you…especially you, Asha…”

“Me? Why me? I’m not the one who gave her crotch-less panties…”

“You’ve been warned…”

“Oh, Brandon, don’t try to act all innocent,” Maya said. “Scotty told me all of your plans…”

His plans. He hadn’t even known much about his own plans, until Scotty conveniently decided to tell him on the way to Augusta the day before.

“They’re eighteen,” he’d said. “Real cheap…there’s lots of liquor and a penthouse suite…”

Sure the rest of his buddies were riled up at the thought of it all; Mark and John had a chance to not think about being responsible husbands for one night. It gave them the sweet opportunity to be young again, to feel things that, perhaps, they often didn’t feel for their wives anymore. Young, naked girls were always a good plan.

The feeling was only bittersweet for him. No doubt he hadn’t looked at a breast in quite some time, but he couldn’t help but be far more concerned about the slight tinge of sadness that he saw in Tallie’s eyes after the rehearsal. They stood outside of the Bee’s Knees, about to say goodbye, and when he leaned down to kiss her, he felt her hesitate. He hoped that it was his imagination, and he hoped that she saw his valiant effort to put on a strong face. No part of him ever wanted her to be sad this weekend; no part of him ever wanted her to think that this whole thing was a mistake. He couldn’t reassure her enough that since her twentieth birthday, all he could ever think of was marrying her one day…

They were at the Marriot, on the top floor, and Scotty encouraged him to drink, in the same intensity that he’d encouraged him to drink the night of his twenty-first birthday, six years prior. He ordered him to take this shot, and that one, chug this bottle and the next one, all before Scotty’s g-stringed guests had even gotten there.

He attempted to sneak away into the bathroom one moment. He’d reached into his back pocket, retrieved his cell phone, and attempted to scroll through his contacts…but he couldn’t remember if the letter “N” came before the letter “M” or after the letter “B”…and it would have helped if he could see the names and numbers.

He just wanted to call her, as Scotty and his buddies banged on the bathroom door, as he slumped down against the bathtub’s edge. He just wanted to make sure that she still loved him, and still wanted to marry him.

He just had to find the letter “N”…

He couldn’t remember how Scotty broke into the bathroom, but shortly following, he felt his best man’s hands, and Matthew’s grasping at his arms, attempting to pull him up.

“Come on, brother,” Matthew slurred. “We have someone we’d like you to meet…”

If it were Natalie, then he’d be overjoyed. He’d kiss those brown lips till he turned blue in the face…

But no…he was pushed into one of the armchairs and was quickly introduced to Candy’s breasts, and Lola’s butt in his lap. He pretended to enjoy it for his groomsmen’s sake, pretended that he didn’t think about his bride every second, pretended that he wasn’t inebriated.

When the stripper twins left, Scotty passed out on the loveseat in the living room, after saying, “I love you, man,” countless times, and his brother’s followed suit after a failed attempt at slurring their way through marriage advice.

His immediate thought, in the quiet hotel room, was to search for his phone, which got misplaced sometime in between the bathroom hideaway and the stripper attack.

He searched for several minutes, it seemed, tumbling through the suite aimlessly, quitting after he tripped over his own two feet and landed on the floor somewhere near the bedroom.

#

Her fear followed her to bed that night…or early morning…both seemed completely obsolete at the moment…

She felt guilty that she didn’t give Brandon a warmer goodbye earlier that night, and wanted to call him to make sure that everything was okay…

To make sure that they were still okay…

She’d wanted to assure him that they were still making the right decision, though, at the moment that they stood outside the restaurant, her thoughts had become cloudy, and she wasn’t sure what she wanted from him. She’d never tell him that though. Nor would she tell her bridesmaids, who’d stayed up with her, mere minutes before the crack of dawn, confessing secrets, laughing, sipping on wine coolers, and listening to music that reminded them of easier times. Like the music her mother used to listen to in the kitchen on Saturdays; old school rhythm and blues that was just as laid back as the rhythm of the wind, sweeping through the trees outside of their window. Yes, back when her mother wasn’t so worn, so shattered, so beaten, when she wore her dark hair carelessly and loose, when she gathered her daughters up into her arms and danced with them around the kitchen, when she used to smile, when she encouraged her daughters to pursue any path that life had to offer them…

Why couldn’t she understand that Brandon was her path?

Her fear was that life would beat her down as it had done her mother, leaving her with nothing but a bitter taste in her mouth.

She did not want that for her, and she didn’t want that for Brandon either…

Yes, she climbed in her bed with her heart beating wildly, and tears rolling softly down her cheek in stark darkness. She closed her eyes with a mind flurried with confusion, with doubt of the day that lay before her, motherless, and feeling without the guidance that she so desired…

When her girls came to wake her in a sunbathed room of a Double Tree, no less than four miles from Bingham park, she sat up slowly, wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. Her girls sat with her on the bed, wrapped their arms around her, and asked, “Are you ready? This is the best day of your life!”

Surely. She couldn’t think of anything more that she wanted than to spend her life with Brandon.

Brandon…who teased her constantly about her accent, who squeezed her and tickled her, who made her laugh, who had the most amazing eyes, the most amazing personality, who was a part of her in every way possible.

Maya, a Nikon 35mm between her small hands, stayed by her side, at the salon that early morning, when they got their hair done, when they ate a small lunch at a café in the hotel, when Sidney helped her with her makeup, and when Granny stood before her, handing her a small family heirloom: her great-great-grandmother’s diamond bracelet.

“Here you are, my darling grandbaby,” Granny Marie said, adjusting the crown of tiny roses in her hair. Granny kissed her cheek thereafter, smiling gently into her face, then disappeared out of the room, to head toward the ceremony site.

Maya captured the moment.

It was two-fifteen that afternoon, the limousine waited patiently for them outside of the lobby, and with the bridesmaids securely dressed in their tea-length, strapless black organdy dresses, that meant that they had just enough time to get Natalie in her wedding dress, and firmly fitted with only moments to spare before the wedding commenced at three. It was a tight schedule, and even when they caught wind that the majority of the wedding guests had arrived and were seated, her girls never lost focus, never lost their heads. Joanna helped pull the dress up about her curves, Sidney affixed the veil on her crown of roses, and Asha quickly assigned jeweled, white strappy numbers to each foot.

Joanna proceeded to fasten each button, and the faster her bridesmaid progressed up her spine; the less she felt that she could breathe. She quickly recalled her last dress fitting a few days ago, when she and Brandon had headed downtown to sign the wedding license, she then thought about what she’d ate the night before, and the night before that, and as Jo said, “Okay, Natalie, just a few more buttons, you look beautiful,” she was sure that her lungs were collapsing. As her sisters shed small tears, and dabbed their eyes with tissues, she fought for breath, allowing soft gasps to escape her dry lips, and she placed a hand to her chest, feeling her heart grip, feeling the temperature rise in her body by the millisecond, feeling her vision blur.

She remembered gasping, “I can’t breathe,” before her knees buckled. She knelt before her concerned bridesmaids, and she couldn’t distinguish the one who went to retrieve a sheet of paper to fan over her face. Joanna was holding her hand, Sidney had a hand on her back, and Asha was fumbling with her cell phone.

“Hey, get over here…yes now…because we need you…hurry, please…”

She hoped that it wasn’t Brandon, hoped that he couldn’t see the tears that she cried at that moment, ruining her makeup, while her bridesmaids continuously asked her what’s wrong.

What on earth was the matter with her? Why couldn’t she straighten up? How dare she let her inner turmoil destroy her this way? Why couldn’t she have been confident enough that things would work themselves out? Could she have been more selfish at the moment?

But, oh she sat there in a pitiful state, in her beautiful white gown. And she knew that she couldn’t do it.

This day can’t happen without her mother…it just can’t…

She had to leave…she had to get out of that dress (her favorite dress)…and get away…she would tell Brandon later…she hoped that he understood…

“Natalie, please tell us why you’re crying?” Sidney pressed, stroking the length of her back. “Please, so we can help you.”

Lord, she was helpless…plumb helpless…

She only shook her head then and stared aimlessly. She couldn’t look at them. Part of her felt too ashamed to admit the fact that she was a quitter, that even when she got this close to being completely happy with Brandon she’d blow it…and why?

For a stubborn, lonely black woman, who’d rather sit in her own misery than be there for the daughter she claimed to love so much? Why couldn’t she be stronger? Why couldn’t she say ‘To hell’ with her mother!

She couldn’t as much as her heart ached then…

“Natalie, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” Joanna asked.

“I’m here…”

Natalie looked up and saw Scotland Kelly glaring down at her, completely out of breath, as if he’d used every organ in his body to reach them on time, with his eyes widening at the sight of her. “Oh…God,” he’d said.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Asha told him, folding her arms. “One minute she was fine and the next…”

“I see,” Scotty huffed.

He then proceeded to kneel down beside her, reach for her hand and stroke it gently. She enjoyed the sincerity in his eyes then, as if he looked genuinely concerned, as if time were no measure then.

“Nat, baby…” he sighed.

Natalie only shook her head, and allowed another tear to fall.

“Talk to me,” he encouraged, rubbing her hand.

She shook her head again. Scotty sighed with slight exasperation and dropped his head.

“Alright,” he said lowly. He then looked at the faces of each of the patient bridesmaids and nodded once toward the hotel room door.

“Ladies, could you give the bride and myself one moment of peace please?”

The women nodded peaceably and exited the room shortly thereafter.

It was only then that Natalie allowed herself to explode.

“I can’t do this, Scotty!” She said, allowing ample tears to breach the surface of her skin. “I can’t do this!”

Scotty reached for her arms and pulled her into him, attempting to quiet her, running his hands along her back.