When You Come to Me (14 page)

“I can’t believe he’s talking to her,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. “Sometimes, he makes me so mad…”

“You’re telling me…”

He chuckled, looking her direction. “I see it, you know…”

She met his glance. “See what?”

“You and him…”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You’re funny…”

“I see it, Natalie,” he told her, pinching her waist, teasingly. “I see that it’s bothering you that he’s talking to her right now…”

“He can do what he wants…”

“Don’t lie to me, Natalie,” he said. “You care…you try to hide it, but you care…I swear, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here right now, putting up with his bullshit, like I do…”

Her stomach fluttered. “Nonsense…”

“I mean, I don’t get what he sees in her,” he said, throwing his hands up. “But, you know, I’ve tried through and through to put that guy onto some other girls, but she's the only girl he's ever wanted since freshman year…well, until
you
came along…”

Natalie exhaled heavily. “Scott, please…”

“I’m serious, girl,” he told her. “Like I said, I see it, you don’t…”

“Is she pretty?” she asked him lowly.

Scotty paused, as if to think hard. Then, he nodded with a grin. “Yea, I can see why he’d be so fixed…she’s pretty fucking hot…”

“Well, there you go…”

“But, you are too…in a different way,” he said. “That’s it! You’re different!”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed…”

“Well,” he laughed. “Besides the more
obvious
difference…”

“Scotty, trust me you,” Natalie began, setting her hand on his shoulder. “Brandon’s a number of things...and all of those things are ones I am not...therefore...you already know what I'm trying to say...."

Scotty chuckled, lowered his head and shook it. “If you say so, Natalie…maybe you should get to know the Brandon Greene that I know…then, you’d see why I’m still around…”

#

Scotty returned to the house and she walked alone at sunset. She headed back up the beach in the direction in which she came, passing their humble green beach house on the left, the golden shoreline on the right, and a small barrier of rocks up ahead. The wind, strong, caught her then, and she walked with her head lowered.

And, of course, she thought about him then, as most would when they’d internally admitted their feelings for someone. She thought of him and Sophia, wondered why he loved her so much, what kept him coming back.

She realized then, that the subject of love was foreign to her. Or at least the love that kept his heart tied to Sophia so tightly. All she knew of it was the fact that it made people crazy, do the insanely strange things to each other that they wouldn’t normally do. She’d seen the way that love affected her parents so long ago, and questioned if love was the reason that prompted her Dominican-bred father to slap her mama over a couple of times. Yes, in Natalie’s eyes, love bred control, deceit, and drama, none of which she could live with. Nonetheless, the young southern girl felt the pull of jealously then.

You’re an idiot, you silly girl. What are you going to do now? How are you going to look at him? You’re not good at hiding your emotions, so what makes you think that you’ll be able to hide these? You won’t! And he’ll figure it out, and he’ll stop calling you as much as he does. Because he’s still in love with her, isn’t he? Yes, just like the girl said, he’s still in love with her. Have you not paid any attention to the way he looks when you mention her name? It’s like she died or something.

“You’re Natalie...”

Natalie turned around. A young woman sat, perched atop the barrier of slick rocks, her knees in the embrace of her short arms. Her blond hair shimmered, against the warm glow of twilight, was full, long, curly and wild. She was petite with the slightest hint of a shape. She donned a tiny waist, slender curves and a full bust to prove it. There was softness that lied in her face. Her small features were reminiscent of a pixie.

She took a long drag of the long cigarette between her lips, blew the smoke in a ring through the small opening in her mouth and looked at her.

“Aren’t you?” she pressed.

Natalie nodded.

“Of course you are,” the blond said quietly. “How many pretty black girls are there on Jekyll Island? You might be the first. Do you know who I am?”

Natalie nodded. “Yes…yes, I do…I should get going…”

She started to walk away, felt a slight brush of relief roll over her.

“Do you ever wonder why we’ve never met before, Natalie Chandler?”

Natalie didn’t respond. Instead, she halted and nervously turned around again, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

They locked eyes for a moment, and Natalie clasped her hands together tightly, taking a deep breath, feeling the wind carry her hair. She couldn’t help but take notice of how piercing Sophia Baldwin’s green eyes were.

“I was perplexed,” she began, taking another drag. “Really. I’d heard very little about you, yet, your name always popped up in his phone. And I was told that he was seen walking around with you on campus everyday. He’d have his arm around you, he’d be laughing. And some said that they would see him driving on campus at an odd hour in the morning. And I felt his attention slowly deteriorate. He stopped doing the things that he used to do for me, and I couldn’t figure it out. I couldn’t figure out why my boyfriend of over three years stopped loving me…why he stopped paying attention to me. Do you know why that happened, Natalie Chandler? And then one day, I had to do something about it. I slept with Eric. I slept with him because I was not getting the attention that I deserved. And it backfired, didn’t it? My boyfriend told me that it was over. And a few weeks later, I find out from my two best friends…you’ve met Monica and Sabrina, haven’t you? Yes, they told me that Brandon had invited the
same
black girl that they’d seen with him on campus so many times to the island. My two best friends even had the audacity to tell me that they were staying in the same room. I’d never met you, Natalie Chandler, because he knew that the moment I lay eyes on you I would hate you. And I do…I really hate you.”

What could she say? Could she necessarily apologize for something she was certain wasn’t her fault? No, she wouldn’t do it. She couldn’t apologize to someone who’d hurt her friend so badly, could she?

Natalie Chandler remained silent. And she watched a tear fall down Sophia’s cheek.

“I wanted to marry him,” Sophia Baldwin continued, tossing her cigarette to the waves.

She watched the blond crumble into tears.

“He was so cold to me. And I knew that you had fixed him. I saw you in his eyes. I read you all over him. And that’s why I hate you.”

SHE DESCENDED a small dune of white sand, pushing past the sea oats at half-past midnight. She hadn’t seen him since that afternoon, since he went to talk to Sophia, and now she was searching for him.

She wasn’t sure what caused her to go running after him. Conceivably, she wanted to see what form of fate lay in store for him and his Sophia. Yes, she only wanted him to make the right choice; but she was certain that she could no longer interfere. The toss of her heart had become a dangerous playing ground, and she could no longer allow him to look at her that way. She wasn’t sure that her peace of mind could stand for much more of it.

She found him, emerging from the slow moving waves, striding against the current, along the shore slowly. She pinched at the hem of her feather-light white sundress, undulating in the cool breeze, that staved off the stale heat of the day, that left her poor brown skin suffering.

They connected eyes, and she continued to step forward, and with each press of her foot into the mushy golden sand, she felt a part of her reserve subside. His eyes seemed to glow through the curtain of his untamed black hair, and his bare chest bore a thin layer of glistening saltwater, which slowly rolled down his stomach with each step that he took.

In a final forlorn attempt, before her eyes gave way to her true feelings, she reminded herself of what she had to do; she would let her feelings go, she would let
him
go. She felt that she had to do it for the sake of their friendship, as strange as it was, and for the sake of her sanity.

These feelings had come to frighten her a little, and she longed for the days where he meant absolutely nothing to her.

Those were the times where she refused to be a sucker for anyone…

They stopped right before their bodies touched, eyes still locked.

“I met Sophia,” she whispered along the breeze.

She studied his countenance. Why did it suddenly unnerve her that he looked so calm, so unaffected? Shouldn’t there have been more of a reaction?

“Oh?” he replied, his eyebrows raised.

Natalie nodded slowly.

“And did she say anything interesting?”

He was mocking her, surely, as if he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

“She doesn’t like me, Brandon,” Natalie admitted childishly. “She doesn’t like me at all.”

Brandon sighed hard. “I know this…”

“You know?”

He nodded slowly. “Of course, I know, Nat…you think I’m just completely unaware of my surroundings, don’t you?”

She didn’t answer.

“She told me to stop seeing you,” he divulged. “But I don’t think she realized how hard it would be…”

He reached out for her brown face, cupped it in his hand, and exhaled. And he took her wrist then, pulled her in slowly, found her forehead with his, and he sighed while she closed her eyes.

She took a deep breath. Common sense told her to back away. But her heart…her heart was just as speechless, just as breathless as she was.

He felt so good near her; something felt right about it, something felt complete about it.

There was nothing strange about his proximity. She temporarily forgot about his Sophia, or the fact that she hated her, or Sophia’s stupid girlfriends. All that mattered was Brandon, his warm skin, his soul, the sound of the current, and the breeze that swept passed them.

Part of her wanted to let go of him so badly; and the other part was sinking faster, harder and deeper by each passing second.

“Nat...” he breathed.

The ugly face of reality took an abrupt step in. She pushed him away and took a step back.

“Brandon...I…”

He stepped toward her once more. “It’s over, Natalie…it’s really over,” he whispered.

She shook her head anyway, and she turned away. “No, no…I don’t believe you…”

“What do you mean?” he was behind her and he placed his hand on her back. “Can I not say that it’s over? I told her…I told her that it was over…I told her that you and I were…”

“Don’t say it…God, please don’t say it…”

Silence fell between them. Natalie sunk her teeth into her bottom lip.

“I don’t know why I’m here, Brandon,” she began quietly.

He pressed himself against her back took her shoulders with his hands and pressed his cheek against her temple. She closed her eyes again.

“Brandon…”

“There’s so many things that I want to say to you…that…that I want to tell you…”

Did he really have to? Could she not feel it? Could he not feel her?

She pulled away again.

She thought she’d gained her freedom then. She started to walk away, and with each step, she was certain that she felt her reservations unite again. This was her moment to let him go, to show him that he meant nothing to her. This was her final stand.

“Where the hell are you going now?” he called after her.

She didn’t respond. Consequently, she’d made the decision to hold her breath until she got away from him…

He started to follow her, calling after her. She walked faster. She had to get away…

“Leave me alone,” she whimpered with exhaustion.

“Come back here.”

No, coming back to him would mean the worst, would mean that all her feelings would come to light.

“Why do I have to?” she said, finding it difficult to walk in the sand.

“Because I want you to…”

He’d caught up with her, walking alongside her.

“Ha, not a good reason,” she said. “Just…leave me alone…”

“I told you I wasn’t leaving you, so I’m not going to start now…”

“Well, you should have thought about that when you left me alone with Scotty,” she said. “We walked along the beach together, you know…”

Brandon grabbed hold to her arm and stopped her. “And you liked that, yes?”

“Of course,” she told him, staring at him. “We’re getting close, you know…”

“I noticed…”

And Natalie Chandler began to question how they’d gotten to this point, why she let it get this far. She then regretted not listening to Asha when she specifically said that going to the beach with Brandon alone was a bad idea.

Brandon came toward her, slowly, and she made a last attempt at trying to keep her emotional distance.

But she failed, didn’t she? She failed the moment that she reached up and touched his face. That was the moment then, wasn’t it? That was the moment that she gave up everything. Just for that moment, right? Just long enough for her to look at him, see him differently for that one moment, and lose it. And that beautiful white boy moved in closely, slowly so, she felt his warm breath on her cheek.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this way.

He touched her. That was enough.

She gave up everything when he pressed his lips against hers; she gave up her inhibitions, her common sense, her heart. She was convinced that this was her moment of liberation. There was no awkwardness, no strife…Brandon’s lips were full and soft and attentive…and she took him wholly. He wrapped her in a full embrace, as her heart tackled this moment of release, as his wet hair tickled her forehead. She felt light and dreamy and witless.

Fear had dissipated.

They pulled apart slowly and stared at each other. She rolled her lips in, he panted, staring at her with those pretty eyes of his. A look a satisfaction crossed them.

She backed away again.

“Natalie…” he called to her through his ridged breaths. She backed away further and she started shaking her head.