When To Let Go (34 page)

Maggie didn’t promise anything, only managing a nod, but vowed in her head to try as hard as she could to get that part of her back. For the first time in almost a year she wanted to start living again. For Xavier, for his parents, for herself. For the boy who had brought her there.

She didn’t stay much longer; they all needed some separation to process it all. To cry, to grieve, to move forward.

Maggie wrapped her arms around Ryder after getting on his bike, “Take us away. To the place we love the most.”

Ryder needed no further explanation, taking them hours away from Mesa, all the way to another state, to a certain beach they had grown closer from.

Weekends away turned into a ritual. Every Friday after work Ryder came and got Maggie, not bringing her home until late Sunday night. Her parents weren’t thrilled, but they never stopped it, not having heard hope in their daughter’s voice in such a long time.

It was their fifth weekend there and Maggie was growing frustrated that Ryder had yet to make a move. The two shared a bed at night, cuddling like they would in the hammock. Nothing more. She could tell he wanted to. She knew she could make the first move just as easily. In all honesty, she was just as nervous and scared, just as inexperienced as he was.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Maggie wondered, drawing shapes in the sand with her finger.

“Yes,” Ryder immediately responded, staring off towards the horizon. “Do you?”

“No,” she answered as though it was a recent revelation.

He turned his head in curiosity, “You don't?”

Maggie gave a small shrug of her shoulders, avoiding eye contact, “If it was real, then it would have happened with you.”

Ryder remained silent, eyes focused on her. With each passing second her heartbeat became stronger. Louder.

He took her hand in his, “I felt it. I felt it strong enough for the both of us.”

She nodded, believing that he had. It was written in his eyes, in the way he looked at her. In the way he touched her, as if the feel of her skin was a precious gift, one to savor.

Maggie didn’t have anything to add that would be fitting. There were no words to describe how she felt for him; not even a simple “I love you” would express how deep he ran inside of her.

Ryder's warm hand stroked her cheek, drawing her lips to his. The kiss started slow, building its intensity. The couple was soon holding tight to each other, mouths expressing the need their bodies had. Maggie lifted her hand to run her fingers through his hair, hovering over the strands, always cautious before she touched a part of him she hadn’t yet.

He nodded his consent, groaning into her mouth when they entwined.

Both their heartrates picked up, beating against one another, their lips moving together as though they always had.

“Take me to our room,” Maggie pleaded, needing more of him. Needing
all
of him.

“Are you sure?” He breathed along her lips.

“Yes,” she expressed with more confidence than she had ever felt about anything.

Their lovemaking was awkward at first, both unsure of where or how to touch. It didn’t matter, it was the connection they craved, to be a part of the other.

After they had finished Ryder bundled Maggie into his arms, thanking her for the most beautiful moment in his life.

Maggie thanked him in return for becoming
her
light in the darkness.

Nothing more was said, knowing that as long as the other was close, whatever demons they had to face would be conquered.

“Ava, get the hell over here!”

Ava set down the tray of muffins she was stocking to scurry over to her boss’s son, Dick, who had the swinging door open that led to the kitchen.

“Mind telling me what all this is about?” He didn’t need to point out what he was referring to; it was the entire kitchen.

“When it’s slow, Mr. Denlow lets me experiment with new recipes,” she explained, referring to the mess she’d made of the kitchen. “You don’t have to worry, I make sure everything’s squeaky-clean by the end of my shift.”

“Have you ever heard of a heatwave?” Dick probed in his condescending voice that was always barking at Ava. His swamp-colored eyes and bushy brows narrowed in on her. “It’s mid-July, hot as hell, air-conditioner on nonstop. Then you go and have the oven going all day. Do you have any idea how much energy costs?”

Ava cowered back as he towered over her, “Yes, sir.”

“Well, you sure as fuck don’t act like it. Do you have any clue how much your little experiments cost my bakery?”

It wasn’t his bakery, not yet anyway. Ava prayed that day never happened. She loved everything about the job except for the owner’s son, whose name said it all. Besides, her creations ended up making the bakery far more than it cost her to figure them out. People came by every week to try her latest flavor, always leaving with a box of them.

Dick answered before she could, “More than they should. I’m taking money out of your check to cover the costs. I expect you to stay after your shift to clean up the mess. In fact, you can take my shift and close up tonight. You can do the cleanup
then
. Don’t let this happen again.”

“I’m sorry, I thought–”

He cut her off, “I don’t care what you thought. If it happens again, you’re fired.”

Ava wanted to cry as Dick stepped inside the kitchen, the door swinging in his wake.

Every time they worked together or he was there in the back office, he found some way to yell at her, and it was always in front where customers could hear. It was humiliating. She was a good employee, yet he always made it seem like she was the reason the place wasn’t doing as well as it had before the owner had had a heart attack, leaving his son to manage while he recovered.

Ava turned around to face the customers she had heard come in at the beginning of her lecture, swallowing back the lump in her throat and putting on her fake smile. The one she had learned after Wesley left that now came in handy at her job.

“Hi,” she greeted, her mouth remaining open after recognizing the couple in front of her.

It was Wesley and Dakota.

Of course it was them. Why would the universe want to miss out on the opportunity?

Nonetheless, did Dakota really have to come here and rub it in Ava’s face that she and Wes had been hanging out since he had come home for the summer last month? It was bad enough that all through Ava’s senior year she had to hear about the conversations they had, or texts he sent her.

“Hi, Ava,” Dakota greeted happily. Wes only gave a tight smile. “I wanted to come for breakfast and see you. I can’t remember the last time I ate here.”

Ava was pretty sure it was last Wednesday.

“What can I get you guys?” She tried keeping it airy and casual, but even she could hear how forced it sounded.

Ava wanted them gone. The pinching of her heart was getting worse the longer she had to see them together.

“Do you have anything gluten free? I’m on a health kick.”

“A blueberry and cream cheese muffin?” It was gluten free, yet far from healthy.

“Perfect. I’ll have that, and a soy latte.” Dakota turned to Wes, “What about you?”

Wes hadn’t taken his eyes off of Ava, which she was trying to ignore, “That guy always talk to you like that?”

“Who? Dick?”

He didn’t respond, because she didn’t need to ask.

“He’s just a grouch sometimes.”

“Ava,” his tone had an underlying warning to it. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Geez, Wes,” Dakota scolded with a giggle. “Lighten up.”

“Only when I mess up.” Which happened to be almost daily now.

Wes’s features darkened, reminding Ava of when he used to get upset when someone wasn't treating her the way she deserved to be treated.

Ava quickly turned her back to conceal the emotions she was sure were visible. She got to work making Dakota’s drink, “How about you, Wes? I think one of your old favorite cupcakes is there.” She knew it was; she made it every day, not understanding why she would torture herself. She couldn't stop herself; it was oddly comforting, like she still had a part of him.

“I don't eat cupcakes anymore,” his tone was flat, unemotional.

She deserved that and tried to respond without any wobble to her voice, “We make great muffins.”

“Sure, whatever. Is the coffee self-serve?”

“Yes.”

“Go find us a place. I'll pay and bring it all over.”

“Okie dokie,” Dakota chirped.

Ava kept her head down as she came to the cash register with the latte and food. She told him the total, and as he handed her the money their fingers briefly touched, causing Ava's eyes to close from the sensation. She made sure to leave his change on the counter.

“Don't let him treat you like that,” Wesley spoke softly, standing there with his purchase in hand.

She glanced up with raised eyebrows, surprised that he would care, but then again, that was Wes.

Their eyes held each other before he turned and found Dakota.

Every time Dakota's laughter rang throughout the bakery it was a punch to the gut. Every time Wes’s did it was a punch, followed by the ripping out of her insides.

By the time they left, Ava’s shoulders were practically at her ears from her tensed muscles.

Dakota happily waved and shouted a goodbye, promising to call her later and maybe the three of them could all do something together soon.

That was never going to happen.

Wes left without even a glance her way, which was for the best; seeing his face was something she didn't think she'd ever be able to do without it tearing her apart.

She decided to make herself some tea with caffeine, having another six hours of work to go on top of the six she had already done. That didn't include cleaning the kitchen and closing down the store.

Ava was getting tired of being pushed around.

The next day after work, Ava brought Ryder the pastries they would have had to throw out. She worried he never ate enough.

She knocked and someone shouted that it was unlocked.

Ava stepped in to find Ryder and Maggie in bed. Wes was in the kitchen that was directly in front of them. The only blocked off room in Ryder’s studio was the bathroom.

Ava looked back and forth between the three, “Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Nah, I just arrived a few minutes ago,” Wes assured her. “Came to see if they wanted to hang out. Didn’t expect to find this,” he gestured to the couple in bed.

“You could try calling first,” Maggie pointed out, not seeming all that bothered by it.

“Meh,” was Wes’s response.

Ava placed the pastries on the counter, opening the box. Wes immediately stuck his hand in and snatched one.

The sound of a key in the door had their full attention. Behind the front door they could hear Parker’s voice, “It’s already unlocked. That’s not like him.”

Violet’s voice was easy to recognize, “So open it.”

Parker threw open the door with a wide grin, “Surprise!”

Vi pushed past him, registering that they were all there, “Oh, yay! This saves us from having to track everyone down.”

Wes and Ava took turns hugging the couple.

“When did you get home?” Wes asked while giving his sister a long, tight hug.

“Now. We were going to have Ryder come with us to greet everyone.”

Parker and Violet were only coming home for two weeks this summer, due to Parker’s job. Vi had decided to do the same, the two inseparable.

“Is this how my life’s going to be from now on?” Ryder complained at his four unexpected guests.

“Yes,” the room answered in unison.

Parker grabbed a pastry of his own, “You should be used to it by now.”

“Can you guys at least turn around so we can get dressed?” Ryder and Maggie were still in bed, Maggie with a sheet covering her body and Ryder with only pajama bottoms on.

All four in the kitchen turned to face the cabinets.

Violet stole a bite of Parker’s muffin, “I can’t believe Ryder is getting more action than you are.”

Parker laughed, “Jealous?”

Violet didn’t seem to find it so funny, “Yes.”

“Please stop talking,” Wes pleaded, pointing a thumb behind his back. “It’s bad enough I have the two of them in bed burned into my memory.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” Violet didn’t sound the least bit apologetic, “but the two of them
finally
became official, what, like a month ago? Parker and I had our first date in March and we’re
still
above the waist.”

Parker pinched Violet’s cheek, “Isn’t my girl cute when she’s sexually frustrated? You’re right though, I think we might be ready for some hand exploration.”

Violet did a little happy-dance.

Wes reached for a croissant, “Please just shut up, both of you. TMI.”

Ava giggled next to him and he gave her a grin from the side of his mouth, “See? Ava agrees.”

“Oh right,” Violet took more of Parker’s muffin, “like the rest of us didn’t have to put up with you two for years. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

Ava and Wes stiffened, Wes with food halfway to his mouth.

They were all saved from the conversation when Maggie announced that she and Ryder were decent and they could turn around.

Wes’s pocket made a funny noise and he pulled out his phone, reading a text.

Violet peeked at the screen, “I hope you haven’t been seeing her since you’ve been home.”

Wes shrugged, noncommittal, “A little.”

Parker leaned over to get a look as well, “Who?”

“Dakota,” Violet answered.

Parker made a face, never liking her.

“She’s a fake,” Violet carried on, Parker nodding his head in agreement. “Plus, I think she’s stalking you or something.”

Wes rolled his eyes, “She’s not stalking me.”

“Ha! How many times a day does she text you?”

Wes cringed. “A few,” quickly adding in her defense, “but she’s only concerned about how you and Maggie are healing.”

“So text once a week,” Violet criticized, knowing her brother was being far too naïve. “What’s there to be concerned about? I’m fine. Maggie’s healing faster than they expected, thanks to the amazing Ryder.”

“Come on, she’s not that bad.” Wes seemed determined to justify their friendship, reminding them of her past actions, “It was her idea to have Maggie and Vi share a room, and it took not even two hours for it to work.”

“That wasn’t her idea,” Parker spoke around his food. “It was Ava’s.”

Ava flushed red, glaring at her brother.

Wes turned his attention to Ava, “What? Why didn’t you say something?”

Ava retrieved the broom and dustpan, sweeping up the fallen crumbs, “I didn’t think it really mattered whose idea it was.”

“You need to learn to speak up for yourself,” Parker wrapped an arm around her shoulder, making her miss the pan and causing the crumbs to land on her shoe.

“I know,” she sighed, wiggling her foot to get the crumbs off.

“If I can do this,” Ryder jumped in from his place on the couch, lifting his hand that was attached to Maggie’s. “Then you can learn to speak up for yourself. I mean, we’re practically living together with how much she stays over and hangs out here,” he added, not quite believing it himself.

“You make a good point. I accept.” Maggie casually got up and strolled to the kitchen.

Ryder scratched his temple, “Accept?”

She nodded her head, trying to hold back a smile, “Yeah, about living together. We might as well. Save us time.”

Ava spoke up first, the rest of the room’s mouths still propped open, “Does Mr. Baxter even know you guys are together yet?”

Ryder half-smiled, watching Maggie as she decided what pastry she wanted, “Yeah, we told him last week.”

“What did he do?” Ava would never have wanted to be Ryder in that situation.

In his best impersonation, Ryder retold Mr. Baxter’s reaction, “Takes you Stones long enough.” Everyone laughed at how accurate Ryder’s scowl and deep voice were. “Then he got up and left the room. I assume that meant he was cool with it. I’m still alive, so I take that as a good sign.”

Maggie laughed the hardest, pleasing everyone with the sound, not having heard it in a long time, “That could have totally been Vi with your expression, she gets that same look and tone when she’s being grouchy.”